Noah (13 page)

“That was thoughtful of you. You’re very lucky, Noah. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t give to have my mother back, even if it were only for one day. After she died my whole life pretty much ended. It hasn’t been the same since. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I had a day where I felt completely happy. It’s pathetic isn’t it?”

Noah shot me a half-smile. “No. It’s sad, but you’re not pathetic. You’re human.”

“Yeah, the last time I checked I was.” I grabbed a ton of sugar and added it to the black coffee. “Although, I think I may have sealed my fate by driving my boyf – I mean my ex’s car into a pond. That might qualify me as crazy.”

“Don’t go back there. You said you got nothin’ there holdin’ you back. You’re lucky that people don’t depend on you. My life was set in stone before I was born. My dad knew his son would take over the business. I’ve never been allowed to voice my opinion, or even have one.”

I felt bad for Noah, and was finally understanding why he’d left. “I’ve got ten bucks to my name, since all of my money was left at my ex’s. I’m sure he’s already found it. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be in the same clothes.”

“About that,” he paused and took a drink. “We need to get you somethin’ else to wear tonight. If you want to be remembered, you should dress the part.”

“Ugh, don’t even talk about shopping, especially since I know ten bucks isn’t going to get me shit in this town.”

“I’m buyin’.”

I shook my head. “Absolutely not. Noah, you’ve done enough. I feel bad enough already. I’m going to be mailing you I.O.U.’s for the next ten years.”

He laughed at me. “You don’t owe me nothin’. All sexual jokes aside, you’re nice company. I don’t expect money, or nothin’ else. I get that you’re in a bad way. If it was goin’ to be a problem I wouldn’t have let you come with me.”

Settled on the fact that he wasn’t going to let me say no, I smiled and accepted that maybe Noah was meant to come into my life, to give me at least a couple days of happiness. After all, in a little while I’d be on stage, doing something I’d only dreamed of. “Okay.”

Our food came, and as I picked at my bagel, I watched Noah devour every bite on his plate except for one. “What?”

“Where do you put it?”

“Woman, you’ve obviously never experienced pancakes before.” With a fork full of pancakes, he aimed it
at my mouth. “Take a bite.”

“I don’t know where your mouth has been.” I turned my face away, but he didn’t move the fork. “I’m sure you won’t die. Just take a bite.”

I opened my mouth and let him feed me his last bite. The maple flavor of the syrup hit my taste buds first. Then the perfection of pancake filled my senses. Satisfied that I’d done what he asked, he finished his coffee and wiped his face with a napkin.

“My mom used to make these when I was little. I guess I forgot how much I liked them.”

“We’ll get more tonight after our show. I know this place that serves them all day and all night.”

“It’s a date.” I said the words without the loaded pun behind them. It was a simple saying, that came with a certain assumption.

Noah didn’t argue or correct me. “Sounds good.”

We paid for our check and headed outside where Noah hailed us a cab. I had no idea where he was taking me, but somehow I knew he’d keep me safe. It was very reassuring to feel that way, but it came with a price.

The longer I hung out with Noah, the harder it was to resist my growing desire to know more about him. I liked him, and time was only going to intensify that feeling.

Where I should have been a mess over a breakup, I’d hardly thought about my ex. I didn’t know whether to thank Noah, or runaway, because it could only mean that he was replacing all of the negative in my life. Since I knew
we’d part ways that really scared me. Once he’d gone home to his family, I’d feel even more alone than ever.

Determined not to think about it, I climbed into a cab with Noah. I wasn’t going to think about what was going to happen. I was just going to have fun while it lasted and hope a friendship could come out of it.

                 Noah

Breakfast had been
a real eye-opener for me, after hearing how Shalan’s mother died. I could feel the pain of it, as if it were my own mother’s fate. As sad as it made me feel, it had given me reason to call home and make things right.

My message was short, and I was glad she didn’t answer, so I had time to prepare exactly how I was going to apologize. I just knew I had to make peace, because one could never determine when our time on earth was up.

To Shalan, my helping her was definitely out of pity. I’m sure that had something to do with it, but I was being honest about liking her company. She was so easy on the eyes, and behind that attitude was someone I wanted to get to know. Of course, I wasn’t about to admit that to her, especially when she was giving me such a hard time about certain things. Plus I liked teasing her, making her think I was an asshole.

With the exception of my major fuck-up a couple weeks back, I wasn’t a terrible boyfriend. Time was always my downfall, because my job was so sporadic. Like a plumber, I was always on call. If the cattle broke a fence in the middle of the night
, I’d be out fixing it. Committing to someone and being reliable wasn’t a promise that I could keep.

After breakfast I decided that I’d take Shalan around the city. She’d obviously never been and there was some special places to see.

The key to sightseeing in the city was to get there before all the tour buses arrived. Shalan had no idea where we were going until the cab dropped us off at the long entrance for the ferry to see the Statue of Liberty. The smile on her face definitely told me that she was excited.

After we’d gotten through security, and finally made it on the boat, I saw another side of her. She looked green immediately. “You alright?”

“I’ve never been on a boat before. Is it supposed to rock this much?”

I look over and noticed that her once flush face was now turning green. She was motion sick. “Maybe you should sit down and try to relax.”

Crowds of people filled in and the seats disappeared before she could grab one. I took her hand and led her up the stairs to one of the two open levels.  The crisp morning air hit us immediately as we made our way to an open seat. We sat near the front of the boat and I wrapped my arm around her to provide her with some warmth. “The ride is just a few more minutes. Keep your eyes open. It will help with the dizziness.”

She tucked her head in between my arm and chest and looked forward. “I might have to throw up.” I started to move away, but she pulled me back. “I’ll get up if I have to. Please just sit still.”

By only luck, an older woman with a man near her same age approached us. “Is she sick?”

“The water doesn’t agree with her.”

She reached in her purse. “My daughter used to get seasick all of the time. Here take one of these pills for motion sickness. It might take some time, but it will help.”

“Used to?” It wasn’t our business, but Shalan was just trying to be nice after the woman’s kind assistance. “Did she get used to it?”

The woman smiled and looked back at the man. “She passed away a few years ago, love.”

“I’m so sorry,” Shalan replied.

“She was sick a long time, dear. She’s at peace now with the Lord. We come here every year on her birthday. It was one of her favorite places when she was little. When I saw you sitting there with that familiar hue to your face, it felt like it was a sign that she’s still with us, in spirit at least.”

“It’s very nice of you to offer. I’m sorry about your daughter. She was lucky to have two parents that cared so much for her. I lost my mom when I was a child. I too hope she’s somehow watching out for me.”

“You take care of yourself, you hear? As for us, well, we’ve taken up enough of your time. You might want to start making your way downstairs, or else they’ll drive you all the way to Ellis Island.”

“I’d like to see that place anyway. I’ve never been here before. It’s all so amazing.” Shalan excitedly announced.

I met eyes with the man, who was clearly the dad in the equation. He put his hand on his wife’s back and held it there for a moment, offering her acknowledgement that they’d gone through such a tragedy together, as parents and a couple.

I had to look away. Being young, I’d already made a ton of mistakes with relationships, but not my parents. They were still so in love with each other, and I guess for a moment I pictured them losing me or one of my sisters, and it was painful to imagine. I shot the guy a nod and turned the other way, clenching my jaw and burying those emotions deep inside where no woman would ever see.

By the time we walked off of the boat, Shalan had thanked the woman plenty of times. I don’t know why I did it, but I kept my arm around her as we walked out. I suppose maybe in the back of my mind I wanted the older parents to think that we were a young couple in hopes that, for just a little while, they could see themselves in our shoes. Maybe it was a terrible idea, it still made me feel better.

Once we’d gotten to the entrance for the Statue of Liberty, Shalan managed to get the color back in her face. I ran into a shop and grabbed her a fresh bottle of water and some crackers.

Shalan sipped on the water and looked up at the tall monument. “It’s so big. To be honest, I never knew it was actually on an island. I mean, I heard it was, but I never understood it.”

“You want to go inside? We can take the elevator if it’s easie
r for you.” I didn’t bring her all this way for her not to get the whole tour, but I wasn’t going to push if she didn’t feel up to it.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

We walked slowly, side by side, eager to get to the elevator and view New York in a different perspective. After waiting in line, we finally made it to the first level. Since I hadn’t bought tickets for the very top, I was hoping that Shalan was satisfied with where we could go. She seemed amazed when we walked outside, circling around the Statue, surrounded by chest height block wall. Shalan looked up first, getting a glimpse of it up close. Then she leaned over the ledge and looked all around at the city. “This is amazing, Noah. Thank you for bringing me here.”

I smiled and looked over at her. “I thought you might like to see it. You can’t come to this city and not see somethin’ like this.” I pointed across the water. “That there is Ellis Island. It’s where the immigrants came first. The original family names are all listed inside of the main museum part. Would you like to take the ferry there next?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

I’d begun to turn around when I felt her grabbing my hand. I turned, noticing the look on her face immediately. I didn’t wait for her to ask for it, nor did I take a breath before I acted on it.

Our lips met, slow and steady. I closed my eyes, willing to accept that this was her thank you. Right as I was about to slip my tongue in her mouth, she pulled away, staring at me the whole time.

I started to say something, but she stuck her finger over my lips. “That was for allowing me to come on this trip with you, even when you didn’t know me at all. It’s for spending money on me and taking me places that I never thought I’d be able to go. It’s for being so sweet to me on that boat when I thought I was going to puke my guts up. This trip – well, it means more to me than you’ll probably ever know.”

I smiled and kissed her hand before she could pull it away. “It’s been my pleasure, darlin’.”

“Good, now let’s go to the next place so we can get back and practice for tonight. I know I’m acting crazy, but this performance means everything to me, Noah. I just want a real chance to sing for people with a real band. I never thought something like this would ever happen.”

I smiled, understanding her excitement, but not really feeling the same kind of thrill over it. “It’s all good. Let’s head out.”

We spent the rest of the morning walking around or taking rides in cabs. After our talk at breakfast, it seemed
easier to open up to her about my life. I told her about my crazy family, and how we’d always done everything together. I also explained the fight with my parents, including every detail that happened the night I left. By two in the afternoon we were both pretty exhausted. Knowing how important the gig was to her, I decided to take us both back to the hotel so we could go over song choices and rest.

Shalan plopped down on the bed just as her phone began to ring on the nightstand. She reached over and looked at the number, rolling her eyes, before placing it back down. “Leave it to him to screw up my mood.”

“Who? Your ex?”

“Yeah.”

I grabbed the phone and answered the call before she could say anything. It was none of my business, but I knew from experience that the relationship was over. She was fragile, and would probably take him back as soon as she got home. Feeling somewhat protective of my new friend, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

While she struggled to take the phone from me, I started to talk.

“Hello?”

“Who the fuck is this?”

“The name’s Noah, not that it’s any of your business. You lost the right to ask when you fucked Shalan’s friend.”

“Screw you. You don’t know shit. Put her on the phone, before this gets ugly.”

She was still trying to get the phone from me. I rolled my eyes and put him on speaker, thinking she’d say something, but she didn’t.

“Give me one reason why she would want to hear a single word out of your mouth.”

“You tell that bitch to get on the phone or I’ll make sure she goes to jail for what she’s done.”

Shalan started to cry. My patience was wearing thin before, but hearing his threats sent me over the edge. “Listen here. You’re goin’ to lose this number if you know what’s good for you. Shalan didn’t do nothin’ that you didn’t deserve. If you press charges against her, you best watch your back from now until eternity, because if I fuckin’ find you, you’ll wish you were never born.”

“Give me a break. Are you for real? I will –.”

I hung up before he could say anything else. Shalan fell down on the bed and began to cry harder. It made me regret doing it. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t let you listen to anything that dick had to say. You deserve better.” I sat down beside her and looked toward the other bed. “You’re too good for someone like him. Hell, you’re too good for me, even.”

I turned to look in her direction and saw that she was looking right at me. “Don’t say that. You’ve done nothing but be nice to me since we met. I wouldn’t even be in this hotel room if it wasn’t for you. No matter what you’ve done in the past doesn’t matter to me. You’re a good man, Noah. You’re so lucky. You come from a good family and you have so much to be thankful for. I’ve got nothing to show for. I’m all alone, and somehow this gig is the most important thing in my life. How pathetic is that? I’m not crying because of him. I’m crying because there’s nothing left for me to live for.”

I wiped her tears and refused to allow her to belittle herself. “Don’t even say that. Look at me, Shalan.” I waited for her to do as I told her. “Don’t ever say that again. If I hadn’t met you, I’d be well into Canada right now, refusing to speak to my family still. I didn’t just bring you along for company. I suppose I did it because I wanted to protect you, even when I knew nothin’ about you. Now I don’t know much about women, but I know myself. I wouldn’t do that, if I didn’t think you were special. Now, dry those eyes and stop feelin’ sorry for yourself. You and I are going to get out on that stage tonight and make sure everyone there sees what I see when I look into those eyes, and when I hear that voice of yours.”

Through her tears she smiled and reached her hand over to put it on top of mine. “Thank you.”

“I mean it about those tears. Don’t let me see them again. You’re too damn pretty to be upset.”

She put her head back down on the pillow, constantly sniffling while she calmed down. I started to pull my hand away and get up, but she grabbed it and pulled me back down on the bed. “Don’t go.”

I knew what I was doing. It had become apparent when I’d saved her, brought her with me, took her around town, and then protected her. I liked Shalan and I wanted to be close to her. I didn’t leave my life behind to start up some relationship. Sex was expected, but this was something else. I climbed under the covers with her and wrapped my arm around her body, pulling her onto my
chest. As much as I wanted to lean forward and kiss her, I knew it wasn’t the right place or time. She needed a friend and so did I. Everything else was going to have to wait.