Noah (40 page)

She was mad
der
at herself for yet again not doing what she said she was going to work on. She kept talking about needing to get a life—feel independent—and yet she’d made little to no effort
to do something
about it. Instead once again there she lay last night feeling completely lost and alone because even after going back to work all she’d done
so
far is look forward to her workouts with Noah and spending every free moment she had with him. 

So the decision she’d come to? Slow things the hell
down
with Noah,
beginn
ing with the goodnight kisses
—and get her life back damn it. Starting today.

As quickly a
s
she could, she filled Noah in on how she was feeling much better and how but not why she had to be at work earlier for the next few days but that she’d be at the gym at the same time as always. Just as she walked by him to get to the back door, he took her hand in his. “I missed you last night. I know you weren’t feeling well and
I understand why you went to bed early,
but I wanted you to know anyway.”

Even though he’d just gotten back from his run and his sweatshirt and hair were wet with perspiration, he smelled fresh. Like the
early
morning
residue of last night
’
s
rain
showers,
but also like Noah. That masculine scent
that she could only describe as
what she now knew was the enchanting scent of
his hot skin with a hint of the deodorant that he kept in the
bath
room
. The
deodorant
she’d actually inhaled a few times, loving how it reminded her so much of him.

Unable to do what she knew she should and  say something completely safe and neutral she simply told him the truth. “I missed you, too.”

But she broke free from his hand and continued walking out the door. If she stood there for even another second she knew what would happen next. He’d try to kiss her and she’d let him. Even with all her careful strategizing, her plan already felt doom
ed
and day one hadn’t even started.
“I’ll see you tonight,” she said quickly as she walked out the door. 

To her surprise Nellie answered her phone. Since she was running early anyway she pulled over and parked the moment she got a chance so she could concentrate on their conversation.

Nellie sounded a bit groggy and Veronica felt a little bad about waking her but she was so relieved to hear Nellie sa
y
she wasn’t upset with her.

“I promise I’ll keep my nose out of you and Rick
’
s business from here on. It’s just—”

“No, I need to hear the truth even if it hurts
, Roni.” She paused but
Veronica could tell
she had more to say about that. “He’s gone again on a
business trip
—
s
aid it was a last minute change in his schedule but I checked the bank statements. H
is
room and his plane ticket
were paid
weeks ago.”

Veronica held her breath silently cursing Rick and waited for Nellie to continue. “As usual he said I should try and make it out for at least a day. The trip is during the week and he
thought
I wouldn’t take the time off work, but I did. I’m flying out
to Denver tomorrow.”

They spoke
a few minutes longer with Nellie admitting that Veronica had hit it right o
n
the nose. Nellie
was
afraid of what she might find if she ever surprised Rick, but she was done fooling herself. She had a very bad feeling about this and Veronica couldn’t blame her. Why else would
t
he
bastard
lie about it being last minute?

After assuring her she was doing the right thing and making her promise to keep her updated Veronica hung up and continued on to work. An enormous weight had been lifted and she was suddenly feeling so much better and even more determined to get on with her plan.

By that afternoon she
had to force herself to stop obsessing
about that picture of
Noah and
Rita. She wondered how long it would before he put the text and her suddenly feeling
sick
,
together. Obviously he hadn’t yet because she was sure he would’ve mentioned it. She didn’t even want to hear the explanation at this point. It didn’t matter anymore.
Noah was free to do what he wanted just like she was. If Rita was what he wanted then so be it. The girl had temptation written all over her anyway.

As usual Derek texted her near the end of her workday to ask if she wanted to get together for an early dinner after work and as usual she almost didn’t reply. All this talk of getting her life back and needing more friends and she was doing it again. Although she knew for a fact now that she’d never survive doing the “just friends” thing with Noah she was fairly certain she could with Derek.
Of course she’d have to make that very clear to him from the beginning.

What she wanted more than anything was to start
re
building her circle of friends. She had Nellie back now and Derek would make a good addition. He’d always been great at listening to her and helping her sort out any issues that were troubling
her
. She had no intentions of talking to him about Noah, her biggest issue at the moment. But she
needed
to
start
feel
ing
less dependent o
n
Noah. If what she anticipated would eventually happen
,
that she’d have no choice but to distan
ce
herself from Noah
.
I
t would be so much less devastating if she didn’t feel so alone.
At least that’s what she reasoned with herself.

She texted Derek back agreeing to meet him at a fast food burger joint. Normally she headed straight home after work to grab something to eat, change and get some things done around the house before heading out to the gym. But today she could skip that. She’d eat
with Derek
then head home and get ready for the gym.

Changes—she was already making them and she felt empowered by it. First Nellie, now this. Today was turning out even better than she’d hoped.

As tempted as she was to ask Derek to elaborate more on Noah’s “drug trafficking” she didn’t want to make this about Noah. She was after all doing this in part to break free of what was beginning to feel like a hold Noah had on her.

All in all the dinner went quite well with Derek insisting they should do this more often. Veronica agreed and Derek said he’d text her again soon. They never did get to the topic of their relationship remaining a friendly one but she intended to bring it up the second there was any mention
of
anything romantic. It felt too awkward to bring it up their first dinner out.

She went home, changed and took off to 5
th
Street. As was the case lately, she parked on the street because the parking lot was full.
She walked through the parking
lot
feeling herself tense up with every step.
Maybe it was the fact that their evening was cut short and she’d ducked out early that morning but
by the time she reached the gym door
the nerves in her stomach were out of control. It almost felt silly.

Like yesterday, he was in the ring with Abel when she walked in. Her heart literally sped up at the mere sight of him. This was insanity
,
what she’d considered a good day in her quest to make changes
and
get a life of her own
—a life that didn’t revolve around Noah
,
had
just fl
o
w
n
out the door. Her body was telling her what her mind had blocked out all day. That
through
the whole day
t
his was the part she most looked forward to.
Her skipping up the stairs of her porch when she’d gotten home from her dinner and rushing to get ready for the gym should’ve been her first damn clue.  

Noah smiled as she walked by the ring on her way to stretch and then pointed at the office.
Veronica
knew what that meant he’d left his phone in there for her to use while she worked out. She waved it away mouthing the words ‘not today’ and kept walking. No way would she have the willpower to not sneak a peek at his texts and see what he’d responded to Rita. She’d already had one emotional night
,
she couldn’t take another one like it.

After her workout Noah surprised her by coming over and hugging her. It felt so good she gave into it completely hugging him back just as hard.
He even let out a small moan as he released her.
“Why does if feel like I haven’t seen you in so long?”

She
smiled
and lifted a shoulder, pretending not to know but she did know because incredibly she felt the same way.
A small part of her gave into the hope that maybe she wasn’t so bad off if he was feeling the same way. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that she couldn’t stop thinking of him lately, that the entire time she had dinner with Derek she kept having to get her head back into the conversation because it kept wandering off to thoughts of Noah. Then she remembered the picture and was back to square one. It was bad and she needed to snap out of it.

The
i
r evening went as usual, they ate
and
watched television together
,
only tonight Veronica didn’t ask to use his phone. Then she showered and Noah was right there waiting in the hall when she emerged from the restroom, wearing only her bathrobe and the towel on her head.

His smile reeked of
wicked mischief. He usually waited for her to get dressed then come out and say goodnight. Tonight she’d barely made it to her door when his big body was already up against hers spiking her heart rate in an instant. Before she could protest
,
as if she’d have the will to, his lips were on hers.

After the night she’d had last night
and
an the entire day of convincing herself she had to slow this down,
she
should’ve
tried
to push him off
or
at least bring her hand between them so he wouldn’t be so close. Instead she kissed him back ravenously
, sucking away at his tongue until he groaned in response.

His thigh was pressed against an area that was now on
fire. She was sure he’d feel the heat even through her bathrobe. She finally dragged a shred of willpower out from inside her and she pulled her lips away from his breathing heav
il
y.

“Noah,” she strained to whisper.

“
Mm
m,” he said continuing to kiss her chin then her neck.

“We have to slow down,” she said squirming at the
delicious
sensation of his tongue on her neck.

“Okay,” he said just before she felt him suck her neck.

How was it possible that she felt that between her legs
?
Her body arched in reaction. It was magical. Then she remembered and pulled away. “Noah, no hickeys!”

He smirked
,
licking his lips. “Okay,” he murmured as he buried his tongue in her mouth again. By the time she was able to put a stop to
the kiss it
was probably one of the longest goodnight
on
es to date. They’d been standing outside her
bedroom
door for what was
at least a
solid twenty minutes
and their kiss goodnight had escalated to him feeling her up completely over her robe resulting in
barely-suppressed
moans from her. So much for slowing things down.

She stood inside her room now, her back against her door still trying to catch her breath.  Shaking her head she walked over to her dresser and stared at the horny disheveled broad
she saw
in the mirror. She’d even lost
t
he towel
on her head
in the midst of it all. Then she saw it and frowned. Damn it he was fast. Another hickey
.
T
his one smack in the middle of neck
and just dark enough to be very noticeable if she didn’t apply enough make up
. No wonder he’d smiled so sinfully when he finally walked away.  

This day had turned out just
wonderful
. She was supposed to have broken some ground
on
add
ing
a little distance
between
her and Noah—
on
gain
ing
h
e
r
independence. Instead she stood there, her body still trembling
all over
and twitching in
place
s that ached
desperately
for more of him.
Even
while
her inner voice admonished her for doing this tonight her body was already looking forward to tomorrow night.