Nobody Gets The Girl (25 page)

"Hmm," said Dr. Know. "You admit to speaking
with him. Although, given his history, it's far more likely you
spoke with one of his agents."

Nobody managed to get on his hands and knees,
wincing. "Oooh. No. No, I'm pretty certain it was him."

"Really. And what makes you so sure?"

Nobody swiveled his head around. The gun had
fallen back in the hallway.

"Go for the gun and I'll paralyze you," said
Dr. Know. "You know I'm not bluffing."

"Yeah," said Nobody, looking at the doctor.
"Yeah, I don't think you're bluffing."

"Get up," said Dr. Know. "Now that we have
quashed any absurd notions of assassination, I think we should have
a serious talk."

"I'm not very talkative, all of a sudden,"
said Nobody. "And I bet that frustrates you. I bet it drives you
crazy, not being able to get inside my head."

"You think very highly of your thoughts,"
said Dr. Know. "I have far better things to go crazy over, believe
me."

"I see you destroyed Alexander's grave."

"I had him interred elsewhere," said Dr.
Know. "Amelia had defaced the original stone."

"Defaced?" said Nobody. "She put his name on
it!"

"Let's talk about Rex Monday," said Dr. Know.
Nobody noticed something on one of the monitors behind Dr. Know. He
stepped past him for a closer look. On a grainy black and white
camera, Amelia could be seen in a sandy, stony landscape. It
reminded Richard somewhat of the Middle East. She was sitting
cross-legged, in a lotus-position meditation, her back to the
camera.

"Oh my God," he said. "That's Amelia. Is she
working for you again?"

"My hiring standards aren't that low," said
Dr. Know, turning toward the monitor. "Amelia returned and stole a
vehicle from me shortly after we parted ways. I keep tabs on her
now, in case she becomes irrational again. For the time being, she
doesn't seem to be a danger to Earth."

"Doc, I've got to say that setting up
spy-cams on your own daughter seems a little sick," said
Nobody.

"It's for the world's safety," said Dr. Know,
turning toward the monitors. "You heard her threats."

"I bet you know where Sarah is, too. She
didn't threaten anyone."

"Sarah continues to abuse and waste her
powers," said Dr. Know. "She's living in Dallas, in a mansion she's
secured with her powers and furnished with theft. She's a potential
threat in that her selfish behavior may make her easy prey for Rex
Monday, but, for now, she's not endangering anyone."

"Ah, yes, Rex Monday. I've met him. I know
who he is. Would you like to learn his true identity?"

"I believe you know the answer to that."

Nobody faced him. Behind him, in the hall,
Katrina watched, the silver hood pulled over her face. But if she
had the hood, what was this lump wadded up in his pocket?

Remaining casual as Katrina aimed the pistol
she carried, Nobody said, "Rex Monday's real name is Nicolas
Knowbokov."

"Is this a joke?" asked Dr. Know.

Then the shot rang out.

Dr. Know fell forward, a stunned look in his
eyes. Nobody caught him in his arms.

Katrina dropped the gun and fled, her hands
over her mouth.

For the briefest of seconds, Dr. Know's eyes
locked on Richard's. They were full of confusion. Then, they lost
their focus. His body went limp. Richard lowered him gently to the
floor. There was surprisingly little blood. The bullet had entered
the Doctor's back, just behind his heart. It hadn't come through
the other side.

"Kind of anticlimactic, isn't it?" said a
familiar voice.

Nobody looked up. Rex Monday walked toward
him, slipping the calculator back into his shirt pocket.

Nobody said, "I told him who you were. I
think he was so bewildered he never knew she was behind him."

"Pretty clever, giving her that hood. I don't
remember telling you it would block her thoughts."

"Pretty lucky. It's not like I planned
it."

Then Nobody furrowed his brow. He stuck his
hand into his pocket. The hood was still there. Something was wrong
here.

Monday held up a pocket calculator, bigger
and more elaborate than the one he used for his space machine. He
turned it on.

"Of course," he said, after studying it for
about thirty seconds. "I can't believe it. This is so freaking
obvious, I can't believe I didn't make my own. Then again, it helps
if you have your own fusion reactor in the basement to power this
thing."

From somewhere in the distance, there was
another long farting noise.

"Simplicity," said Monday, handing him the
calculator. "You key in the time, date and year, hit the memory
key. Here's your ticket home, friend."

"I'm not really your friend," said Nobody,
watching himself, wet with blood, leaning down to pick up the gun
Katrina had dropped. He watched himself stealthily walk up behind
Rex Monday.

Rex Monday's breath caught in his throat as
the gun barrel was placed to the back of his neck. Blood splashed
over the front of Nobody's shirt, drenching him. Nobody's ears rang
from the shot.

"Guns make us all superheroes," said the
Nobody holding the still smoking weapon. "Here's the plan: Go to
the library and set the time machine coordinates for five minutes
ago, then give the hood to Katrina once more. Tell her Dr. Know
can't read her thoughts and show her the gun. She'll volunteer to
pull the trigger. Then pop ahead three minutes and pick up the gun
from where she drops it. You know the rest."

"OK," said Nobody, as his duplicate handed
him the gun. "Sounds like I've got it all figured out."

"Go," said the older, wiser Nobody. He
watched himself leave the room and head for the library. He took a
seat in Dr. Know's command chair, the time machine in one hand, the
space machine in the other.

"Nobody, Master of Time and Space," he said
with a deep voice, then giggled nervously. His body slackened as he
sank into the chair. His blood-soaked shirt clung to his body. He
was too tired to care. It was finally over.

He looked at the row of monitors, at
broadcasts from around the world.

"You're free," he whispered, addressing the
whole damn planet.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

SEE, THIS IS WHY I LIKE YOU

Nobody found Sarah sunning herself by the
pool of the biggest mansion in Dallas. The house made her father's
island residence look quaint and homey. He took a moment to steady
himself as his stomach unknotted from the trip. By now he'd used
the space machine a dozen times and was getting used to it.

She was reclining in a lounge chair, looking
more relaxed than he'd ever seen her, and Sarah was someone who
knew how to relax. She'd dyed her hair black, but somehow this
didn't change her appearance much.

She still hadn't seen him. The space machine
worked with eerie silence. He tried to figure out how he was going
to say what he needed to say. The possible scripts kept getting
tangled up in his head. What was the funny, clever way to say, "Hi,
I've killed your father?"

So, at last, he just said, "Hi."

Sarah tilted her head toward him, raising a
hand to adjust her sunglasses.

"Richard?" she said.

"How you doing?" said Richard, looking back
toward the house. "Pretty nice digs you got here."

"Oh my God, it is you," she said, sitting
up.

"Is this a good 'oh my God' or a bad 'oh my
God?'" asked Richard.

"What are you doing here?" said Sarah.

"There's a long story behind that," said
Richard. "But not a funny one."

"Come on into the house," said Sarah. "I'll
have Irwin fix us something to eat."

Richard followed her, stealthily staring at
her lithe, seductive body as she walked. She seemed more naked now
in her bikini than she had when she actually was naked, lying
beside him in the huge bed back at her father's house. Did she ever
think about those days, he wondered. It seemed like a lifetime
ago.

They entered through the dining room, a huge
open space framed by windows rather than walls. "Irwin!" Sarah
yelled out.

A young man appeared in the doorway, dressed
in a white butler's uniform. Something about the puppy-dog look in
his eyes as he looked at Sarah made Richard deeply
uncomfortable.

"We have a visitor, Irwin. Fix us some
sandwiches and lemonade," said Sarah.

"Yes ma'am!" said Irwin.

"Oh, and Irwin?" said Sarah. "My guest is
standing right next to me. You see him don't you?"

"Of course!" said Irwin, who then turned and
left.

"Huh," said Richard. "I wish I'd known you
could do that."

"If he's telling the truth," said Sarah.
"People lie to me to make me happy with astonishing frequency."

"No surprise there," said Richard. "You're a
hot babe. Plenty of men would lie to you even if you didn't have
your mind control powers."

"I told you it’s not mind control," said
Sarah. "My power is nothing like Dad's. I don't get inside people's
heads."

"You're right. I've read your father's files.
He believed that you have a vibration in your voice that stimulates
human pleasure centers. Obeying your words is like a dose of heroin
to most people."

"Great. Now I'm a drug."

"I didn't say that."

"Irwin is addicted," said Sarah. "I caught
him trying to steal my Porsche about six months ago. I could have
turned him over to the police, but I figured I'd turn him into an
honest citizen. Now he hangs on my every word even when I'm not
using my powers on him."

"That's funny that you say he was stealing
your Porsche," said Richard, aware he was about to start a fight.
"Didn't you kind of steal it from the guy who used to own this
house?"

"I see that my father's file on me is
complete. No surprise there. Yeah, I had Vincent Kay sign over the
titles to his house and cars and boat to me. Why not? The man was
the worst sleaze-bag CEO in America. If I hadn't taken his toys he
would have lost them all anyway after his stock bubble burst."

"I suppose there's a sort of Robin Hood
justice there," said Richard. "Taking from the rich to give to the,
uh, to you."

"Don't judge me," Sarah snapped. "I was
homeless, OK? I didn't have anywhere to go. My father has made my
life almost as isolated and lonely as yours, Nobody."

"That's all the more reason to judge you,"
said Richard. "You really think this is the best way to live your
life? Hiding out here in this mansion, with your only companion a
toady butler?"

"I call it my Batman plan," said Sarah.
"Minus the part where I put on a cape and fight crime."

Richard grinned. "You've got a smart mouth on
you, kid. I've missed you."

"I'll let you know whether I've missed you or
not after you tell me why you're here. You've been reading my
father's files. I assume he sent you."

"Your father's dead," said Richard.

"Oh," said Sarah. She sat down at the end of
the long dining room table. "Oh," she said, softly.

"So you're free," said Richard. "He's not
peeking into the thoughts of potential boyfriends anymore. You can
make friends with anyone in the whole world. I suggest you start
with your mother."

As he said this, he dug into his pocket and
pulled out two small disks the size of pencil erasers. He sat them
on the table in front of Sarah.

"What are these?" she asked. "Pills?"

"Hearing aids. Sort of. Hearing blockers, I
guess would be more accurate. Rex Monday had whipped them up for
his henchmen to wear when they fought you. It blocks the frequency
in your voice that activates pleasure centers. I think you should
give these to your mother. I think the two of you could really
benefit from talking to one another without her being scared of
you."

"These really block my powers?" she said,
picking them up.

"According to Rex Monday's notes."

"How have you been reading Rex Monday's
notes? What does he have to do with any of this?"

"Now, see, this is where it turns into a long
story. The executive summary is that Rex Monday convinced me to
help him kill your father. But I had my own agenda during this, and
I managed to kill Rex Monday as well. Oh, and Rex Monday was your
father's evil twin."

"You killed my father?"

"In the broad sense, yes. Your mother pulled
the trigger, but it was my plan."

"My mother kill... how? Why?"

"You know what you said about a life of
loneliness and isolation? I think it went ever deeper with your
mother. She felt trapped in a world she had no control over. When I
put the gun into her hands, I think she realized she had a way to
take control back."

"Oh my God," said Sarah, placing her elbows
on the table, dropping her head into her hands. "Oh my God."

"These are not good 'oh my Gods," said
Richard.

"How did you expect me to react? Did you want
me to be happy? To be grateful? I can't believe this."

"I didn't know how you'd react. I could have
kept it secret. You could have lived your life here and never found
out. But that didn't seem fair."

Sarah sagged into her chair. She wasn't
crying. She didn't look angry. She looked drained, stunned.

"I know this is a shock," said Richard. "I
hope you can forgive me one day. But, more importantly, I hope you
can forgive your mother. She was caught up in something she
couldn't control for a very long time. Please don't hate her."

"I can't believe it," said Sarah. "My mother?
She was so quiet and harmless. She was just a little statue in the
library. How could she have done this? How?"

"You can ask her," said Richard. "This might
sound crazy, but, with those earplugs, and with your father out of
the picture, this is a great time to get back in touch with
her."

"That does sound crazy," said Sarah.