Nobody's Dream (56 page)

C
assie lifted Aurora from the crescent-moon bed. “Precious one, I am so glad you are home now.” Seeing the three babies curled up together in the bed Lucas made warmed her heart. She would sketch a picture of them for him.

Kitty would now be able to focus more on healing and less on running between the babies at home and the one in the hospital now. Perfect timing with the long overdue baby shower just a few hours away.

“My wish for you is a life free of worry and strife, but the strength to face any challenge that comes your way.”

“What a beautiful wish for her.” Cassie turned to find Kitty standing in the bathroom doorway in her robe and slippers. Her face bore the strain of her recent illness and exhaustion, especially in the smudges under her eyes. She padded across the room, her hand pressed against her abdomen. Her body had been ravaged by the births and then her hemorrhage. But despite all that, she smiled.

Cassie wrapped her free hand around Kitty’s back and hugged her. “You scared us all so much.”

“None worse than Adam. He’s still not sleeping—worse than ever before. I’ve had to get used to sleeping with him watching over me again.”

“Adam is a natural guardian. He will probably always worry that something will happen to take another of his loved ones away. I just hope that he can find some peace inside to no longer blame himself for what happens to others.”

“I hope so, too. At least he saw with my complication that sometimes it has nothing to do with what he did or didn’t do. Things just happen.”

Kitty’s words struck a chord. How many times had Cassie blamed herself for being in that cantina the night of the rape? No matter what she had done, she had been horribly violated and the only people to blame were those three animals. No, animal was too kind a word to describe them.

“You okay, Cassie?”

Kitty stroked her cheek, and she came back to the present and forced a smile. “I think I understand more about love after watching you and Adam go through this crisis.”

Kitty smiled, but Cassie detected pity in her eyes. “I hope you find that someday, Cassie. You have so much to offer someone, if only…”

Cassie sighed. She still had not told her best friend about her marriage to Lucas. Of course, it was not what Kitty would call a marriage, either—not like what she had with Adam. She would never understand.

Cassie did not understand her deepening feelings for Lucas, either. There were all kinds of love, she supposed. Her heart had strong emotions toward the man who had invaded her world and battered down so many of her defenses this spring. The love she felt was not like that of a sibling, more a deep friendship.

“I think having to take care of Lucas when he was injured made me think about someone other than myself for the first time in years.”

“Oh, Cassie, that’s not true. You’ve always cared about me.”

You’re not a man.
Aloud she said, “You are easy to love, Kitty. Besides, you have seen me at my worst.”

After the other night, so had Lucas. Having him hold her during her meltdown the other night brought home the fact that he would not take advantage of her even at her most vulnerable. She trusted him more than she did any man other than her family.

Aurora whimpered, and they both turned their attention to her. She blinked and stared at first one then the other before pursing her lips and sucking. “I’ll change her if you want to get ready to nurse.”

Kitty was already removing her robe and unbuttoning what looked like one of Adam’s flannel shirts. Once quite the fashion-conscious dresser, she had certainly toned down her look. How else had motherhood—and illness—changed her friend? She wore no makeup, and still looked beautiful with her pale skin against her dark hair.

After a quick diaper change, Cassie waited for Kitty to sit in the glider and handed the baby to her. Aurora’s tiny mouth opened and she made hungry gasps as she sought her
mamá’s
breast. Cassie blinked away the surprising sting of tears. She would paint a portrait of Kitty with her tiniest baby when she got back into her studio. Well, Lucas’s studio. She let the memory sear itself into her brain.

“Kitten, do you need anyth—” Adam stood in the doorway. “I see Cassie’s already on it.” He smiled at her and Cassie smiled back. She no longer felt threatened by Adam, either. Had it been their nights at the hospital caring for the woman they both loved so dearly? Or had her time with Lucas softened her heart and lessened her fear of being near the man? Most likely the former, because she still did not fully trust any other men.

Cassie walked toward Adam without any sense of fear. “I will leave you two alone while I go down and finish up the dip I am making for the party.”

“Thanks, hon. The gang ought to be here in a couple of hours. It’ll be some party between the baby shower and Marisol’s eighth birthday.”

“Not to mention your birthday, Adam. We didn’t get to celebrate three weeks ago because I was back in the hospital.”

At the mention of that dark time, a shadow crossed Adam’s face, and the memory of his rekindled pain slammed into Cassie without warning. Adam had proven his worth to Cassie in the way he saw to Kitty’s needs and put his family above all others. Kitty was blessed to have such a supportive, loving man in her life.

Would Cassie ever allow herself that kind of relationship? The only person keeping her from it was herself. Why was she so afraid to let Lucas closer? Perhaps the therapist she would be meeting with this week would help. She’d gone through rape counseling at Columbia, but had only focused on the trauma and how to cope with the day-to-day experiences of a college student. She still harbored much hatred and anger toward her rapists—and men, in general.

Adam crossed the room to stand beside Kitty. “At my age, I’d rather forget birthdays.” He reached out and stroked her cheek. Kitty closed her eyes and leaned into his hand.

So much love. And trust.

Could Cassie place that much trust in Lucas?

She turned and slipped out of the room unnoticed. Of course, what she and Lucas had was different. Not the same as Kitty and Adam’s special bond.

*     *     *

Ryder Wilson rolled the throttle as they made the turn down the quiet residential street where Top—
remember he wants you to call him Adam now
—said he lived. At least he’d been able to skirt downtown, but city traffic around Denver made him jittery.

Megan’s hand under his leather jacket continued to ground him as she stroked his chest through his T-shirt.

Still, his fear of cities would be nothing compared to facing his former master sergeant again. Why Megan had thought it was such a great idea to save their announcement until they met face to face with her brother confounded him. Her mother and her other brother knew.

How would the man he loved like a big brother respond?

How would you respond if your sister married a man she’d known less than two weeks?

Exactly what he was worried about. He had managed to win her brother Patrick over, though.

But Patrick isn’t Top.

He swallowed hard and pulled into the driveway all too soon leading to the imposing house. One blue and two pink balloons floated on the breeze, tethered to the mailbox. The thought of Megan being around the babies worried him, even though she insisted she couldn’t wait to spoil them rotten. He’d keep a close eye on her to help her process any unresolved or unexpected emotions.

While surrounded by evergreen trees, there were enough houses in proximity that the children would probably have other kids to play with. Nice place to raise a family. Looked like Adam did okay for himself after he retired from the military. That club he ran must be doing well because he doubted the man’s pension would have been able to pay for something like this.

He parked the bike and they removed their helmets before walking up the sidewalk to the front door. His nerves raw, he reached for her hand and squeezed.

“Stop worrying. Adam loves you.”

Like a brother Marine, maybe. Not necessarily a brother-in-law.

The door opened before they knocked. A slightly older Master Sergeant Montague, grayer at the temples, stood there. But Ryder had grayed some himself.

Adam’s gaze went first to Megan, then to him. The confusion on his face was quickly masked, and he opened his arms for Megan. “Good to see you again, hon.” He then extended his hand to Ryder. “Glad to have you here, too, Wilson. Heard the hog and thought Damián was stopping by early to check on things before the party.” He zeroed in with familiar intensity. “I knew Megan was coming, but didn’t expect you so soon after we talked. Glad you’re here, though.”

He didn’t seem upset to have Ryder here. Then again, he didn’t know in what capacity Ryder had shown up. He’d promised a visit to hang out with his Marine buddies, though.

“We’ve actually been on the road the past week. A little…”
Don’t call it a honeymoon
. “…vacation.” He and Megan had decided to visit the Four Corners, Mesa Verde, and the Black Canyon of the Gunnison in a circuitous route to Denver—definitely as a honeymoon.

He thought he detected some surprise in the older man’s face, and, if so, it was masked quickly. “Glad to hear you two hit it off.”

Oh, we hit it off all right.

“Excuse my manners. A combat zone has nothing on three newborn babies when it comes to sleep deprivation.” Adam stepped back and waved them inside.

Ryder placed his hand at the small of his wife’s back and guided her ahead of him. Adam didn’t miss the gesture and cast a puzzled glance in his direction. The sooner they came clean, the better.

But the moment they walked into the house, all hell broke loose. He heard at least two babies wailing from upstairs and Karla called for Adam to hurry. The man’s face blanched as he took the stairs two at a time.

“Oh, my. Let’s see if we can help.”

Ryder wasn’t sure what he could do but followed Megan up the elaborate staircase. No sense hanging out down here alone.

They followed the sound of the crying babies and found themselves at the open door to the master bedroom, judging by the king-sized bed. Megan went in without knocking, but Ryder felt strange barging into his master sergeant’s bedroom without an invitation. He hung back at the door. Looked like with three adults they’d be able to handle whatever the problem was.

Megan didn’t hesitate and went straight to the half-moon shaped bed next to where Adam reached for one of the babies. She didn’t miss a beat, just reached in, picked up a baby in a green blanket, and held it against her chest and shoulder.

God
. The sight made his chest tighten. She turned to him and smiled, but he saw the tears in her eyes.
Oh, baby
. He ached for her and started toward her until Adam intercepted his path to take the other baby to his wife. The much-younger, black-haired woman sat in a glider chair trying to comfort a third crying baby.

Holy fuck!
She wasn’t comforting; she was breastfeeding!

Ryder turned around and headed back into the hallway.
Holy fuck!
He’d seen the bare breast of Top’s wife. He wanted to go back downstairs, but needed to check to see if Megan was all right. He turned, making sure the door blocked the view of Adam and his wife before focusing on Megan.

She soon had the baby calmed down as if she’d been around babies her whole life. When she met his gaze, a tear rolled down her cheek. He motioned with his finger for her to come to him.

“Oh, Ryder! Isn’t she the most precious thing?”

He placed a hand on her back and with a finger under her chin, raised her face toward his. “How’re you doing, Red?”

“I’m fine. I’m okay, really.” She tried to glance away.

“Look at me, Red.”

She met his gaze and blinked away another tear. “We’re going to have our own babies someday, Ryder. Until then, I’m going to just live vicariously by being a doting aunt to these little ones.”

“You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He bent to kiss her and was finally able to look down at the baby. He expected her to be small, but she was tiny. Triplets. Hell, he’d be happy with one at a time.

A movement from his peripheral vision sent him on alert and he shielded her and the baby until he turned to see a Latino woman with long dark hair carrying a lunch tray. When she met his gaze, she seemed just as wary of him and diverted her path to give him a wide berth.

Wanting to put her at ease, he said, “I’m Ryder Wilson. This is my… This is Adam’s sister, Megan.” Good save, but he needed to get this secret out in the open before it killed him.

At the mention of Megan, the woman smiled at her in recognition. “So glad you made it. Kitty’s been expecting you. I am Cassie.”

Who was Kitty?

“Oh, Karla’s told me a lot about you. I bet you’re excited about your opening on Tuesday.”

The two chatted about art for a moment. He’d make sure Megan went to the exhibition. Maybe she could work on something with the owner to display her photographs there sometime. He knew how excited she was to be doing the exhibit at his sister’s gallery in Santa Fe.