Nobody's Dream (79 page)

Luke was pretty resourceful. Karla probably agreed so she could find out how he managed to convince Cassie to marry him. Too damned many surprise weddings in this family. He grinned. His had been unexpected, too, but he
had
given people two weeks’ notice to show up. Still couldn’t believe how many of his Marines took him up on the invitation, especially so close to Christmas.

At the moment, Luke was behind him taking some measurements for what he’d need for the next round of renovations to convert this spare room into Karla’s recording studio.

Megan answered and he launched into his request without preamble. “Hey, if you have some time, Karla’s heading out soon with Cassie and I’d like to give her some new photos of the triplets to add to her scrapbook. Ones she doesn’t expect. Something creative.”

“I’d love to! I’ve done a number of baby shoots with new dads, so I know the perfect poses. Ryder and I will be there in thirty minutes. We just finished our hike at Mount Evans and were already headed your way.”

“See you soon. Be safe, hon.”

He hung up and watched Luke work a while. Ryder and Megan had moved in here until they could find a place of their own. All their possessions fit into one bay in the garage, not having accumulated as much stuff as Adam had over the years. Ryder was working at Doc McKenzie’s clinic hanging drywall and framing the doors in the extension. He told Adam that Savannah had been a big help to him when he became too overwhelmed by the noise and number of people around. If anyone understood dealing with PTSD, it was Savannah. She’d been through a hell that no child should ever be subjected to and still managed to come out unscathed. Sure put his childhood issues in perspective.

Maybe Ryder should find a job outside Denver. No sense putting himself through hell every day if he didn’t have to. He seemed to have any number of useful skills. Luke might need help with something out his way. Adam grinned wondering what Ryder would say if he knew about Luke’s business making BDSM furniture. But he doubted Luke let anyone else work on those pieces. They were his artwork.

Adam had no intention of inviting Ryder to the club with his little sister in tow, even if the man was into kink.

“Luke, I’m headed back to see if I can help Karla get ready to go out with your wife.”

“No problem. I’m going to need some time to get these measurements down right anyway.”

Adam returned to their bedroom to find Karla seated with only one baby at her breast. Rori sometimes took feedings more leisurely than the other two did, so she must be about finished. Cassie diapered Kate on the new changing table Marc and Angelina had given them.

“Paxton changed yet?”

Cassie looked up and smiled. “Not yet.” Adam already saw a big change in her demeanor. Not as wary. She actually seemed happy for the first time since he’d met her.

Adam walked over to the baby bed and lifted up Paxton. “Hey, big boy. You’re next. Don’t you dare squirt me again, either. Hear me?” After two direct hits, he’d taken Karla’s advice to cover the little guy with a spare cloth diaper until he finished changing him.

He sure had learned a lot about taking care of the babies, who had turned six weeks old last Friday. In some ways, time seemed to be crawling and changes in the babies happened so slowly. In others, he just had to look at photos from when they were in the hospital to see how far each had come.

They loved sleeping next to each other in Luke’s uniquely designed baby bed. He would hate it when they outgrew it.

“Adam, are you sure you and Luke can handle this? Savannah said she wouldn’t mind coming over.”

Adam gave her a stare he hoped would settle the discussion, but couldn’t help but add, “I’ve been helping with the babies since you came home from the hospital the second time. Have a little faith. The only thing I can’t handle is breastfeeding and you took care of that. Besides, there’s plenty of expressed milk in the fridge and freezer, so you girls take all the time you want.”

Karla broke the suction Rori’s mouth had on her tit, and Cassie took the sleeping baby. “Two hours max, Adam. I’m sure Cassie and I will be caught up on everything by then.”

*     *     *

Cassie was glad Luke had agreed to spend the night at Kitty’s last night, rather than drive home from the airport so late. Announcing their wedding upon arrival had led to a mini celebration. A shocked squeal from Kitty led to some intense grilling on how this had all come about, but Cassie had waited until they could be alone to share her innermost thoughts. She didn’t know Adam, Ryder, or Megan well enough to talk in front of them.

The men insisted they take this time alone. Kitty had not been away from the triplets since they were born. By the time she checked her phone for the fifth time in ten minutes to see if Adam had texted her about any problems, Cassie was not sure she could ever really disconnect from worrying about them.

“Relax. Savannah promised to be on call if they need help.” They had chosen their favorite fondue restaurant to catch up, because Adam didn’t like this place. Thank goodness Luke was adventurous when it came to food.

“I know.” Kitty turned the phone face down and slid it a foot away. She skewered mushrooms and chicken on separate sticks and set them in one of the simmering fondue pots between them. Cassie had her own for her veggie version. “I still can’t believe you’ve been married since May and didn’t tell any of us. Not even me!”

“Oh, Kitty. In my mind, the first wedding was not a real marriage. I always assumed Luke would come to his senses, or find someone who could love him the way he should be loved, and he would ask for an annulment. It was less complicated to ignore the whole thing than to have to explain it later.”

“Annulment. So you didn’t—”

Cassie shook her head, cutting off Kitty’s words, and distracted herself a moment with her dinner. “Actually, Kitty, we still have not…done that.”

“What? How could you not—oh, Cassie.” She reached across the table to squeeze Cassie’s hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I know how hard it must be for you.”

Cassie smiled and met her friend’s gaze. “After our time in Peru and our marriage of the spirit, for the first time since the rape, I feel optimistic that the time will come when we are able to make love. Perhaps soon.”

Kitty smiled. “You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear those words. I have worried so much about you. Luke, too. You both need each other. I can’t think of anyone more perfect for you.”

Cassie could not hide her smile. “When he touches me, I just feel a…connection down to my soul. Does that make sense?”

Kitty nodded. “I have that with Adam. You can’t even imagine being apart, even though you are in separate locations. Like now.” Kitty glanced at the phone, but did not pick it up. “Then when you see him again…Ka-thunk!”

“Ka-thunk?”

Kitty smiled. “It’s when your stomach drops after he stares at you a certain way. Or touches you just right. Or says something—”

“Sounds more like a physical attraction than a soul-level one.”

“Well, there’s that, too.” Kitty smiled. “Come on. I mean Luke Denton sure is easy on the eyes. He’s also a take-charge man. Doesn’t he sometimes just make your heart or stomach flutter when he grins at you?”

Cassie felt the heat rise in her cheeks. “Maybe.” Is that what she meant by a Ka-thunk moment?

“Honey, just open your heart to him. He’s the gentlest man I know. He would do anything to keep from hurting a person or an animal. I saw how he looked at you with such longing, even that night at Rico’s before the avalanche. Trust him.”

“I do. As much as I have trusted any man in my adult life. But I have not had a Ka-thunk moment yet.”

Kitty grinned. “You’ll know when it happens. With Adam, it’s usually when he goes all Dom on me.”

“Oh, Kitty! We do not have a BDSM relationship!”

“It doesn’t have to be in a Dom/sub relationship.”

“Good, because Luke is too gentle to be like that.”

Kitty shook her head. “Doms are the most gentle, sentimental people you’ll ever meet.”

Images of women tied up and being spanked or flogged flashed across her mind. No amount of argument would convince her BDSM was gentle. Luke would never do such things to her. He loved and respected her too much.

But Adam felt that way about Kitty—and Kitty certainly did not feel he disrespected or hurt her in any way. Maybe Cassie’s libido—such as it was—had different wiring.

“I do not think that lifestyle is something either of us would be comfortable with. On our wedding night, he likened us to teenagers exploring each other’s bodies with hesitant touches.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet! Sounds like Luke is taking things slowly. That’s just what you need. But trust me. Luke has a dominant streak. I’ve seen it.”

Cassie did not wish to talk about that side of Luke or his former activities in the club. When they married in May, Luke had promised that club stuff was behind him. He did not seem interested in it anymore, and she believed him.

The two friends spent the next course talking about the babies before moving on to Adam. “Is he sleeping with you again?”

Kitty shrugged but a sadness came over her and her chin trembled. “Sorry. Hormones are still out of whack.” She dabbed at her eyes with the cloth napkin. “Some nights he’ll stay with me part of the time, but I think he leaves before falling asleep.”

Kitty blew out a breath in frustration. “Well, neither of us sleeps much with the babies. God, Cassie, I’ve never been so exhausted in my life! Honestly, even though Doctor Palmer will probably give the go-ahead for sex when I see her for my final postpartum visit in two weeks, it’s the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.”

Karla played with her fondue fork. “Adam has improved some since the baby shower. He and Ryder share a lot of experiences. Somehow I think having Ryder around is helping both of them deal better with what they went through. Ryder and Megan are more open with each other about the war than Adam and I have been. I don’t think he’ll ever tell me most of what he went through, but at least he isn’t shutting me out as much.”

Cassie reached across the table and patted Kitty’s hand. “Never give up. It took me a very long time to open up to Luke or my family about what happened to me. Just be patient. Give him time.”

“Time. Patience.” Kitty smiled. “I’ll try, Cassie. But patience was never my strong suit.”

The last thing Cassie thought she should ever dispense advice about was intimacy, but she had been reading about something lately she planned to try with Luke one day soon.

“Have you ever thought about using tantric techniques to help you connect with Adam?”

“You mean tantra as in Sting’s marathon sexcapades? I’m too exhausted for that.”

Cassie rolled her eyes. “Stop paying attention to how Hollywood stars pervert sacred ways. Tantra is not about having sex so much as it is a way to establish, or in your case re-establish, intimacy between the two of you. You will connect in ways much deeper than the physical.”

“I don’t have a clue what it is, then. Tell me more.”

How could Cassie explain something she only knew in theory from the many books she’d read on various mystical practices? “I have never actually tried it but have studied the spirituality of the Kama Sutra.”

“You mean the book with all the sexual positions?”

Cassie smiled indulgently. “Kitty, for someone so in tune with popular culture, you sometimes floor me that you never delve any deeper into a subject than what you hear on television.”

“Don’t forget YouTube!” Kitty grinned and shrugged without the least bit of remorse.

Cassie recalled the night Kitty and Savannah had reminisced while caring for the babies about their foray into watching
educational
sex videos last spring to help Savannah reconnect with her sexuality. Cassie could never go that far. The video Savannah showed Cassie was lewd and left her feeling nauseated. When she and Luke finally had sex, it would be sensual, not pornographic or perverted.

“I am sure you will find videos of tantra there, too, if you would rather watch than read about it. But even if he refuses to spend the night in the same bed with you, the moments you spend connecting through tantra exercises could give you a level of intimacy that helps you feel fulfilled until things are back to normal.”

“I’m willing to try anything.”

Cassie squeezed her hand. “Trust me, Kitty, you and Adam will find ways to make the most of those precious moments you can steal away from the sleeping babies to keep your relationship… vibrant.”

“Thanks. I hope so.” They ate in silence a moment before Kitty started a new conversation. “I still can’t believe you married him twice, and I missed both ceremonies.”

“Maybe later this summer we can have everyone over for a belated
fiesta
at the ranch.”

“We’ll be there! You don’t know how much I’d love to get away. I have spent so much time in our bedroom the past six weeks. Adam barely let me come down the stairs for meals until the past couple of weeks. He even carried me down to my baby shower, as you know. Just set the date and we will pack up the Montague crew and be there in a heartbeat.”

Excitement bubbled up in Cassie. She was certain Luke would want to share their joy with their friends, too. “Wonderful! Let me talk with Luke about it. And you can stay overnight. I can move into the studio with Luke.”

“What do you mean? Aren’t you two sleeping together?”

Oh, dear. How to explain? She glanced at the simmering fondue pot. “Not yet. Well, we did share a bed in Peru, not to mention your sofa bed at your place last night, so I am certain he plans for us to do so when we return home, too.”

The heat rose into her cheeks and she shook her head. Cassie met her friend’s incredulous gaze. “I need to overcome my fears and aversions first, but this is why I know that touch and intimacy are so powerful. Even though we have not had intercourse, I feel a bond with Luke… And increased desire for him. It will happen when the time is right.”

“Trust me, when you finally do, you are going to kick yourself for waiting so long. Sex with someone you love is
amazing
.”