Nobody's Son (8 page)

Why did he ever think coming to a fucking
pool party
would be a good idea?

“Everything okay?”

Shaun’s face heated at Jimmy’s question.

“It’s all good,” Con called back. “Just caught him off guard, and he got a mouthful of water.” He turned his attention back to Shaun, lowering his voice. “It’s okay. I didn’t learn until I was in college, and then just because I was trying to impress a guy on the swim team.”

Shaun took a breath and let it out. “I had lessons scheduled,” he admitted softly. “Summer before I turned fourteen. Then my mom….”

He couldn’t finish, but he didn’t need to. Con squeezed his arms, and Shaun knew he understood.

“So we’ll stay in the shallow end.” Shaun lifted his head to find Con grinning at him. “For now. Maybe we can teach you a few new things, hmmm?”

Staring into Con’s soft, warm gaze as the adrenaline rush faded, what Shaun wanted Con to teach him at that moment had very little to do with swimming, though exercise and getting wet figured heavily into his thoughts.

Con slid one hand down to tangle his fingers with Shaun’s under the waterline. “How about we find a couple of empty lounge chairs and have a beer or three?”

“That sounds perfect.” Shaun squeezed Con’s hand and let himself be led to the wide steps at the end of the pool. They climbed out hand in hand and walked toward the nearest pair of seats as the music switched from Rihanna to something Shaun didn’t immediately recognize. A shout from the other pool area told him either that crowd loved it or, just as likely, something involving naked men was going on over there.

“You save our spots,” Con told him, “and I’ll grab us some beers.”

He brushed a quick kiss over Shaun’s lips and let go of his hand, but before Shaun could sit or Con could walk away, Xavier strolled by, fingers woven around the necks of empty bottles.

“You guys need anything?” Xavier asked. “I’m getting refills for Taylor and me.”

“Sure, that’d be great.” Con turned to Shaun. “Any preferences?”

“Whatever’s cold is fine with me.” Shaun smiled at Xavier, who gave him a lingering look and a raised eyebrow.

“You got it, hottie.” He turned his flirtatious attention to Con. “Same for you, stud?”

Shaun watched as Con crooked up one corner of his mouth. “Eyes on your own paper, X-Man.”

Xavier crowed out a laugh. “Man, no one’s called me that in years.” He wiggled his hips. “Two beers coming right up!”

Xavier sashayed away, and Con shook his head and waved a hand toward their seats. “He’s a crazy man,” he said as they settled onto their lounges. “Worked with him for about five minutes years ago—he was a sound guy, never on camera—and he never forgets a thing. Mind like an elephant. He could probably tell me what color underwear I was wearing that day.”

That was the first time Con had so casually mentioned what he used to do, and Shaun took a second to formulate the right response. “What color underwear
were
you wearing?”

Con laughed. “I haven’t the foggiest idea. Probably something bright. They always wanted the black guys in bright colors. Guess they figured anything black would just blend right in.”

“Speaking of blending in….” Shaun nodded toward Con’s shoulder. “Tell me about the tat?”

Con twisted his head to look down at the design, then looked back toward Shaun and shrugged. “It was the thing to do back then. Bunch of the guys were getting them. Mostly stars and song lyrics and stuff, but some of them tribal designs. I picked out this pattern partly because it was simple, so I figured it’d be easier and wouldn’t take all that long to get. But damn.” He shuddered dramatically. “It hurt like hell. Never had the urge to get another one.”

“I kind of wanted one a few years ago.” Shaun’s gaze wandered back to the design. “I never settled on what to get, though, and the urge faded.”

“I don’t hate it.” Con shrugged again. “But if I had it to do again, I probably wouldn’t. And not just because it hurt, either.”

Shaun gave him a slow smile. “Not into pain, then?”

Con laughed again. “Not
that
kind of pain, for sure. Whips and chains do not excite me.”

“Oh, honey, you are missing out!” Shaun looked up to find Xavier standing in front of them, a beer in each hand. He shook his hips at them. “A little slap-and-tickle never hurt anyone.”

“Slap and tickle is a far cry from cuffs and flogging,” Con pointed out.

“Eh, six of one….” Xavier winked and handed Shaun a bottle, and as he turned toward Con, Shaun’s gaze caught on the thin raised white line running diagonally across Xavier’s wrist. Shaun looked away quickly, not wanting to get caught staring, but his heart beat faster anyway. He knew what that scar represented.

Xavier walked away, oblivious to Shaun’s discomfiture, and Shaun took a sip of his beer, though he didn’t really taste it. Absently, he rubbed two fingers against his own wrist. Con’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts.

“I remember when that happened,” he murmured. Shaun jerked his head up to meet Con’s gaze, and Con nodded toward where Shaun’s fingers still lay against his wrist. “I probably shouldn’t tell you, for a lot of different reasons, but the truth is, his family kicked him out when he told them he was gay. That’s the escape he tried.”

Shaun swallowed, hard. That was his greatest fear, that if he told his gran how he’d been feeling, then he’d lose the only real family he had left.

“I know how he felt.” Con’s voice was voice low and smooth. “It took me a long time to tell my family the truth. Hell, it took me a long time to tell
myself
the truth. When I was a teenager and first started figuring out that guys did it for me, I told myself it wouldn’t matter. I liked women just fine, so all I needed to do was find one to marry, and the family never had to know about any of it.”

“Yeah,” Shaun found himself saying. “I’m not…. My gran….”

He couldn’t finish the thought, couldn’t force out the words
my gran doesn’t know I’m gay
, especially not when he couldn’t even use the last two words to describe himself out loud. But Con just nodded, and his voice stayed soft with sympathy.

“Trust me on this one,” Con said. “If you tried something like that, you’d be miserable. You’d spend the rest of your life fighting who you really are, or you’d end up breaking up your not-so-happy marriage because you can’t keep up the lies anymore.”

Something in the way he said that last made Shaun turn his head to look Con in the eye. He saw the truth there.

“I got out before we had kids, at least,” Con admitted. “Deanna got over me and found herself a good man. But I hurt her because I was lying to everybody. Especially to myself.”

He turned back toward the pool, where Xavier and Taylor stood in the water, arms wrapped around each other. “Everybody’s got scars,” Con murmured. “Some are just easier to hide.”

Shaun let that sink in. It wasn’t anything he didn’t know already, but sitting here by the pool on a gorgeous summer night, surrounded by happy, laughing men, made it hard to grasp that every one of the party guests had their own wounds. The scars on Xavier’s wrists were no more, and no less, important than the things no one could see.

He knew some of what Mikey had gone through with his father. He knew Jimmy’s family was out of his life. He’d bet several of the others at the party had struggled with coming out—maybe still were struggling with it, like he was. And he’d bet they had other worries too. Jobs. Money. Health problems.

It’s just life
, he thought.
It marks you. Good and bad, it leaves an impression behind.

He didn’t have a clue what Willis Erwin might have gone through in his life. All he’d seen was the outer shell, not the man he was inside. Even if he wasn’t perfect, didn’t he deserve to be heard? What kind of man would Shaun be if he turned away the person who might be his father just because he’d given a bad first impression?

Not much of a man, that’s what.

Shaun resolved to talk to Erwin again and agree to DNA testing. He’d deal with the results when he had to—good or bad, and that didn’t necessarily mean positive or negative.

A weight lifted off him with the decision made, and Shaun reached for his beer, determined to enjoy the rest of the evening and forget about everything else.

THE PARTY
got quieter as the evening went on, though from the noise levels Shaun heard drifting in from the second pool, the opposite seemed to be the case over there. Several people deserted the “tame” party, either to head to the “naked fun” version or maybe to have their own naked fun back in their cabins.

Shaun had a few beers but slowed down once he had a mild buzz. He went back in the water a couple of times but stuck to the shallow end. Mostly he stayed stretched out in a lounge chair, happy just watching the party dance around him.

“You look like you’re feeling very little pain.”

Shaun smiled at Con, who’d flopped down onto the chaise next to him after yet another round in the pool. “Not that far gone,” Shaun drawled. “A little bit tipsy and a little bit sleepy.” He held up his beer bottle to show it was still half-full. “This is only number four. I usually wouldn’t have even that much, but I’m not driving anywhere, so….”

“That’s just fine with me.” Con grinned, his eyes flashing wickedly. “Then I won’t feel like I’m taking advantage of you if I get you alone later.”

A shiver ran over Shaun’s skin. “That depends on what you have in mind.”

Con’s low laugh shot right to Shaun’s cock. “Oh, there’s not much I don’t have in mind at any given moment. Don’t worry, now. I won’t toss you straight into the deep end.” He leaned closer. “But if you need lessons, I’d be more than happy to tutor you.”

Shaun lifted his beer to his mouth, ignoring the fine tremor in his hand. “I’ll keep your services in mind,” he murmured against the glass before taking a drink.

At that point he’d be hard-pressed to get Con out of his mind.

The dance mix that had been playing faded away, and Jimmy’s voice rose over the crowd. “All right, you guys, you’re welcome to hang out as long as you like. Just turn off the lights and clean up after yourselves, and remember—no spooging in the water!”

He flicked the volume back up, and Shaun watched as he bounded off toward the lobby door, following close behind Cory and Mikey, who’d made it almost inside before they had to stop to kiss and grope each other.

Shaun snorted softly and shook his head. “If they keep that up, they’ll be the ones spooging in the water.”

Con chuckled. “It happens a few times a year, and it’s a hell of a mess to clean out. Especially the hot tubs. Gets all into the jets and stuff.”

Shaun glanced back at him and had to laugh at the way he’d scrunched up his nose in disgust. “You sound like a man with experience.”

“Never!” Con opened his eyes wide, exuding innocence. “I’ve never had to drain and sanitize an entire hot tub because every time someone turned the jets on, globs of cum floated to the surface!”

It was Shaun’s turn to scrunch up his nose. “Have to say, that sounds pretty damn gross.” He drained his beer, as if the taste would wash away the mental image Con had painted.

“You need another?” Con nodded toward Shaun’s empty bottle. Shaun contemplated for a long moment before shaking his head.

“Nah. I think I’m just gonna go face-plant into a pillow. Unlike most of these people”—he waved a hand toward the remaining partiers—“I do have to work tomorrow.”

“Well, okay, then.” Con finished his own beer and swung his legs to the side of the chaise. “I think I’m gonna head out too. I’ll walk you to your cabin.”

Shaun lifted an eyebrow. “You make me sound like a fainting damsel in distress. You know I can walk the fifty yards to my door without getting lost, right?”

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” Con countered as he stood, slid his feet into his flip-flops, and held out a hand. “Didn’t I tell you I’m scared of the dark?”

Shaun would have laughed again, but he couldn’t read Con’s expression, so for all he knew, it might be the truth. “Well, we can’t have you getting spooked,” he replied and pushed to his feet. After slipping into his own shoes, he hesitated only for a second before taking the hand Con had offered, and when Con’s warm fingers closed around his, he felt it all the way into his gut.

Con walked them past the trash first, pausing so they could drop their empties into the recycling bin Jimmy had set out. Then he pushed his way out the gate, and Shaun followed across the gravel drive and toward the grouping of four cabins at the front end of the resort property—the ones in front of the “clothing optional” line. Con had been staying in cabin four, which backed up to the tree line, and Shaun was in two, which was right next door, beside the parking lot.

The thumping music from the distant parties faded into white noise as Con led Shaun up to the front door of his cabin. Con turned to face him and brought his free hand up to settle at the side of Shaun’s neck, the tips of his long fingers brushing the sensitive skin of Shaun’s nape.

“What I’d really love to do,” he murmured, “is take you inside, strip you bare, and touch you all over.”

Gooseflesh popped up all over Shaun’s body, partly from Con’s light touch on his skin and partly from the words he’d spoken.

“But I’m not going to push you,” Con went on. “I’m just going to give you a good reason to want to take another step forward.”

He dipped down to capture Shaun’s mouth with his, teasing and light at first but quickly ramping up into something deeper. Shaun moaned and opened to Con’s questing tongue.

A groan rumbled deep in Con’s chest, and he let go of Shaun’s hand to wrap his arm around Shaun’s waist and pull him in. Shaun slid his hands up Con’s broad chest to grip his shoulders, feeling the muscles flex under his touch.

God, he’s hot.
All that hard muscle, and Shaun could touch every bit of it he wanted to. Con would let him explore and taste and do whatever he wanted.

If only Shaun knew what he wanted.

As if he’d read Shaun’s thoughts, Con gentled the kiss, gradually easing off until he drew his lips away from Shaun’s. Shaun opened his eyes, not remembering when he’d closed them, to find Con’s warm brown gaze soft on him.