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“And you have been doing this all your life?” Kerwin asked, wondering again how old she was. “What

made you want to go into a Tower, Neyrissa? Have you never married?”

She shook her head. “I never had any wish to marry,” she said, “and for a woman in the Domains, it ismarriage or the Tower—unless,” she laughed— “I wished to crop my hair and take up the sword and theoath of a Renunciate! And I had seen my sisters marry, and spend their lives catering to the whims ofsome man and bearing babe after babe till at twenty-nine they were thick and ugly, their bodies wornwith childbearing, and their minds worn as narrowly into the track of nursery and laundry and hen-yard! Such a life, I thought, would not suit me; so when I was tested for
 
laran
 
, I came here as a monitor; andthe work suits me, and the life.”

It occurred to Kerwin that when she was a young woman she must have been a beauty; the materials ofbeauty were there still, the aristocratic bones of her face, the rich color of her hair, only a little tinged withgrey, and her body was as slim and erect as Elorie’s own. He said, gallantly, “I am sure there were manyto protest that decision.”

Her eyes met his, just a flicker. She said, “You are not naive enough to think I took Keeper’s vows aswell? I bore Rannirl a child ten years ago, hoping it would inherit my
 
laran;
 
my sister has fostered her,but I had no wish to drag a babe round at my heels. I would have given Kennard one as well, for he hadno heirs and the Council was wroth with him, but he chose instead to marry. They did not like the womanhe married, but she bore him two sons, and they have accepted the oldest son as his Heir—though it washard enough to get them to do it. And I am well-enough pleased, for I am very much needed here,though not quite so much, now that Taniquel has been discovered to have enough
 
laran
 
for a monitor. Still, Tani is young. It is likely that she may decide to leave the Tower and marry; many of the youngerwomen do so. I was surprised when Elorie came here; but she is the daughter of old Kyril Ardais, and hehas spread the tale of his lecheries from Dalereuth to the Hellers; after seeing what her own mothersuffered, I am sure Elorie had no wish to marry, and began with a fear and dread of all men. She is myhalf-sister, you know; I am one of old Dom Kyril’s bastards.” She spoke with dispassionate calm. “I wasresponsible for bringing her here, you know. The old man would have had her to sing and entertain hisdrinking companions, and once, when she was still very small, one of them laid rough hands on her—ourbrother came near to killing him. And after that, he complained to the Council, and Elorie was brought to Arilinn, and Dyan petitioned them to set Father aside and name him Regent of the Domain, so when Father’s wits are not with him, the Domain will not be brought into disrepute because of his indecenciesand debaucheries. It cost Dyan something to do this; he is a gifted musician, and a healer; he wished tostudy all the healing arts at Nevarsin, and now he has the weight of the Domain on his shoulders. But I amgossiping,” she added with a faint smile. “At my age, I think I can be excused for it. I brought Lori here,as I say, and I had hoped she would make a monitor, perhaps even a technician; she has a good mind. Instead, they chose to try and teach her the Keeper’s way, and so we are the only Tower on Darkoverwith a Keeper qualified in the old way. I suppose we should be proud of it; but I am sorry for Elorie. It isa hard life; and since she is the only Keeper we have—although there is a little girl at Neskaya who isbeing taught—she will not feel free to leave the Tower, as most Keepers in past ages have felt free to dowhen the weight of their work grows too heavy. It is a dreadful burden,” she added, meeting his eyes,

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“and despite the fact that the Lady of Arilinn stands higher than the queen, I would not want it for myself;

nor for any child of mine.”

Her glass was empty; she leaned forward and asked him to refill it. Rising, Kerwin went to the tablewhere the drinks were kept. Corus and Elorie were playing some sort of game with cut-crystal dice. Rannirl had a scrap of leather in his hands and was stitching it into a falcon’s hood.

Taniquel was near the fireplace, deep in conversation with Auster; Kerwin tried to catch her eye, tomake an unobtrusive signal that she should join him; a signal she knew well. He fully expected her tomake some light-hearted excuse to Auster and join him.

But she only gave him a little eye-blink of a smile, and lightly shook her head. Startled, rebuffed, helooked at her hand lying in Auster’s, their heads close together. They seemed quite absorbed. Kerwinfilled Neyrissa’s glass and took it to her, his puzzlement growing. The girl had never seemed half sodesirable as now, when her laughter, her impish smile were all for Auster. He went back and sat down by Neyrissa, giving her the glass, but from irritation he proceeded to bewilderment, and then to resentment. How could she do this to him? Was she nothing, then, but a heartless tease?

As the evening passed, he sank deeper and deeper into depression. He listened to Neyrissa’s gossipwith half an ear, the attempts of Kennard and Rannirl to engage him in conversation fell flat; after a timethey assumed he was still weary and left him to himself.

Corus and Elorie finished their game and started another; Neyrissa went to show Mesyr her needleworkand ask for advice, the two women sorting a lapful of threads and comparing the colors of dyes. It was aperfectly comfortable domestic scene except for Kerwin’s knifelike awareness of Taniquel, her headresting on Auster’s shoulder. A dozen times Kerwin told himself that he was a fool to sit and watch it, butbewilderment and resentful anger strove in him. Why was she doing this, why?

Later Auster rose to refill their glasses, and Kerwin rose abruptly; Kennard looked up, troubled, as

Kerwin crossed the room and bent to touch Taniquel on the arm.

“Come with me,” he said. “I want to talk to you.”

She looked up, startled and not pleased, but with a quick glance around—he could almost feel herexasperation, mingled with her resolve not to make a scene—she said, “Let’s go out on the terrace.”

The last remnants of the sunset had long vanished; the mist was condensing into heavy splatters of rainthat would, before long, be a downpour. Taniquel shivered, dragging her yellow knitted shawl closearound her shoulders. She said, “It’s too cold to stand out here very long. What’s the matter, Jeff? Whyhave you been staring at me like that, all evening?”

“You don’t know?” he flung at her. “Haven’t you any heart? We’ve had to wait—

“Are you
jealous
 
?” she asked, goodnaturedly. Jeff drew her into his arms and kissed her violently, crushing her mouth under his; she sighed, smiled and returned the kiss, but with tolerance rather than passion. He seized her by the elbows, saying hoarsely, “I should have known you were just deviling me, but I couldn’t stand it—watching you with Auster, right under my very eyes—”

She held herself away from him, puzzled and, he sensed, angry.

“Jeff, don’t be so dense! Can’t you see that Auster needs me now? Can’t you understand that? Have

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you
no
 
feelings, no kindness at all? This is your triumph—and his defeat, can’t you see?”

“Are you trying to say you’ve turned against me?”

“Jeff, I simply don’t understand you,” she said, frowning in the half-light from the window behind them. “Why should I have turned against you? All I’m saying is that Auster needs me—now, tonight— more than you do.” She raised herself on tiptoe, kissing him coaxingly, but he held her roughly at arm’s length, some hint of her meaning beginning to reach him.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“What is the
 
matter
 
with you, Jeff? I can’t seem to get through to you at all tonight!”

He said, his throat tight, “I love you. I—I want you; is that so hard to understand?”

“I love you, Jeff,” she said, with a faint undertone of impatience in her words. “But what has that to do with it? I think you’re overtired, or you wouldn’t talk this way. What is it to do with you, if for this one night Auster needs me more than you do, and I choose to comfort him in the way he needs most?”

He asked flatly, “Are you trying to tell me you’re going to sleep with him tonight?”

“Why, yes, certainly!”

His mouth felt dry. “You little bitch!”

Taniquel stepped back as if he had struck her. Her face, in the dim light, was dead white, the frecklesstanding out like dark blotches.

“And you are a selfish brute,” she retorted. “Barbarian as Elorie called you, and worse! You— you

Terrans think women are
property
 
! I love you, yes; but not when you act like this!”

He felt his mouth twitch, painfully. “
 
That
kind of love I can buy in the spaceport bars!”

Taniquel’s hand went up, hard and stinging, fiat across his cheekbones. “You—” she stammered,speechless. “I belong to
 
myself
, do you hear? You take what I give and think it right; but if I give it toanother, you are ready to name me whore? Damn you, you filthy-minded
 
Terranan
 
! Auster was rightabout you all along!”

She moved swiftly past him, and he heard her steps receding, swift and final; somewhere a doorslammed inside the Tower.

His face burning, Kerwin did not follow. The rain was heavy now, blowing around the cornice of the Tower, and there were traces of ice in the heavy drops; he brushed it from his smarting cheek. What hadhe done now? On a numb, shamed impulse to hide himself—they must all have seen Taniquel’s rejectionof him, the way she had turned to Auster, they must all have known what it meant—he went swiftly alongthe passageway and up the stairs to his own room; but before he reached it, he heard an uneven footfalland Kennard stood behind him in the doorway.

“Jeff, what’s the matter?”

He did not want to face the older man’s craggy, knowing face just now. He went on into his room,

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muttering, “Still tired—guess I’ll go to bed, get some more sleep.”

Kennard came behind him, put his hands on the younger man’s shoulders and, with surprising strength,physically turned him around to face him. He said, “Look, Jeff, you can’t keep it from us like that. Ifyou’ll talk about it—”

“Damn it,” Jeff said, his voice cracking, “is there no privacy in this place at all?”

Kennard slumped and sighed. He said, “My leg’s giving me hell; can I sit down?”

Kerwin could not refuse; Kennard dropped into an armchair. He said, “Look, son, among us, thingshave to be—well, they have to be faced; they can’t be hidden away to fester. For better or for worse,you’re a member of our circle—”

Jeff tightened his mouth again. He said, “Keep out of this. It’s between me and Taniquel, and none ofyour business.”

“But it’s not between you and Taniquel at all,” Kennard said. “It’s between you and Auster. Look, everything that happens in Arilinn affects us all. Tani is an empath; can’t you understand how she feels when she senses—when she has to
 
share
 
—that kind of need, and hunger, and loneliness? You were broadcasting it everywhere; we all picked it up. But Tani is an empath, and vulnerable. And she answered that need, because she’s a woman, and kind, and an empath, and she couldn’t endure your unhappiness. She gave you what you needed most, and what it was natural for her to give.”

Kerwin muttered, “She said she loved me. And I believed her.”

Kennard put out his hand, and Kerwin sensed the sympathy in him. He said, “Zandru’s hells, Jeff—words, words, words! And the way people use them, and what they mean by them!” It was almost likean imprecation. He touched Jeff lightly on the wrist, the accepting, telepath’s touch, which somehowmeant more than a handclasp or an embrace. He said gently, “She loves you, Jeff. We all do, every oneof us. You are one of us. But Tani—is what she is. Can’t you understand what that means? And Auster—try and imagine what it means to be a woman, and an empath, and feel the kind of despair andneed that was in Auster tonight? How can she feel that, and not—not respond to it? Damn it,” he said,despairingly, “if you and Auster understood each other, if you had empathy with him, you’d feel his pain,too, and you’d understand what Taniquel was feeling!”

Against his will, Jeff began to grasp the concept; in a close-knit circle of telepaths, emotions, needs,hungers, did not affect only the one who felt them, but everyone who was near him. He had beendisrupting them all with his loneliness and his hunger for acceptance, and Taniquel had responded to it, asnaturally as a mother quiets a crying child. But now, when Jeff was happy and triumphant, and Austerapparently defeated, it was Auster’s pain she desired to soothe…

Human flesh and blood couldn’t endure it, he thought savagely. Taniquel, whom he loved, Taniquel, thefirst woman who had ever meant anything to him, Taniquel in the arms of a man he hated… He closed hiseyes, trying to barricade away the thought, the pain of it.

Kennard looked at him, and Kerwin, uncomfortably, recognized his expression as pity.

“It must be very difficult for you. You spent so much time among the Terrans, you’ve taken their neurotic codes to yourself. The laws of the Tower are not the same as the laws of the Domains; among telepaths they can’t be. Marriage is a fairly recent development on Darkover; what you call monogamy is more