NORMAL (50 page)

I can't believe how this day has unfolded. I awoke in a shroud of humiliation and rejection, and now, I lie here completely naked and blissfully sated, just gazing into the midnight blues that have so greatly changed my life in such a short time. Sam rolls onto his back, pulling me back to his side and I rest my head on his chest.

I am completely exhausted. I never knew a couple of orgasms could wipe me out like this. Of course, why would I, since apparently I'd never had one before.

"You sure swear a lot during... you know," I say through a yawn. Sam looks bemused.

"Do I?" he asks. His lips quirk up into a small smirk, "you know, you can say 'sex', you don't have to be embarrassed, baby. Especially since we're still naked."

I shove at his chest and let out a laugh.

"Well, do you want to know what
you
sound like during
sex?
" he teases.

"God, no!" We both laugh and I cover his mouth with my hand, but he nips at it playfully.

Sam sighs. "You sound - and look - like every fucking fantasy I've ever had," he admits. I doubt that, but it's still nice to hear.

"Is it always like that?" I ask quietly. I just can't believe that that's what I've been missing out on. I can't believe that that's what everyone experiences. That mind-blowing, life-changing passion. Why would anyone do anything
else?

"No."

I look up at him, bemused.

"It's never like that, Ror," he says meaningfully, and though I don't quite know his exact meaning, I allow myself to believe that somehow I am special to him. That even though I know he's done what we just did many times and with many different girls, that this time was special to him.

I cuddle into his side and his arms tighten around me. I stifle another yawn, I really am beyond exhausted. I simply can't keep my eyes open any longer, and I allow them to rest.

Present Day

S
am kisses me fiercely, my entire body alight with desire. He hovers above me, touching me everywhere but where I really need him, his hands roving over my tingling skin.

I love you
.

I think the words, because I know I can't say them aloud. I want him more than anything, but still, he doesn't take me.

"Please," I beg, wrapping my legs around his waist, trying to pull him down to me, to get him to align our bodies just right.

"Baby," he groans, and I love the sound more than I should. I lift my hips, but he's still out of reach.

"Oh, God, please!" I plead desperately.

Finally, he enters me slowly, and I cry out in triumphant pleasure.

Our hips rock together in perfect rhythm.

Mustering confidence I never knew I had, I roll so that I sit astride him, kissing him with everything I have.
It feels so good this way
, I think, as we continue to move together.

"Oh, God!" I scream.

"Ror!" Sam pleads.

"Rory, wake up!"

My eyes shoot open.

It was only a dream.

I'm gasping for breath, completely turned on despite the fact that the events only took place in my subconscious. I'm so disappointed that it was just a dream that it takes me a few moments to remember the events that led up to my being asleep, utterly naked, in Sam's arms.

Oh, right. The incredible sex.
I blush at the memory, and then again at the memory of the dream.

Well that's new.

I haven't had anything but night terrors since Robin, and I've
never
had a sex dream in my life, ever. When my eyes finally find Sam's, I realize he's worried.

"You okay?" he asks.

I nod, mortified, even though I know he can't know my thoughts.

"You were begging again," he murmurs, obviously troubled. It finally registers that he thinks I just had another nightmare.

"I'm fine," I insist, but he's not placated. Of course he's not - I always insist I'm fine, even when I'm far from it.

"Another nightmare?" he asks somberly.

"Um... no, just a, uh, dream," I reply noncommittally. Sam narrows his eyes at me.

"It didn't sound like just a dream," he accuses, and I know he thinks I'm lying - just trying to brush off a nightmare, and rejecting his empathy. "I thought you said you always have them. That you don't have regular dreams." He's right, I did tell him that.

I shrug. "I don't. I mean, I haven't. But, I guess I was wrong, because it was just a dream, Sam."

He furrows his brow and shakes his head. "But you were begging, like before. You said 'please', and 'Oh my God', and..." he trails off.

I raise my eyebrows, waiting for understanding to dawn on him. I'm now all too aware of our nudity, and of his strong arms around me. I have no idea how long I was asleep, how long ago it was that we made love, but laying here in bed with him, after that dream, I'm having a hard time not climbing on top of him just like in my subconscious fantasy.

"Rory..."

"Yes?" My voice has grown breathy again.

"Was I in this dream by any chance?"

I bite my lip and look up at him through my lashes. "Maybe."

Sam's fingers start trailing up and down my side and he moves so he's on top of me. He kisses me ardently and I sigh.
This is exactly what I wanted
. And I can feel that he is in complete agreement with me. In fact, I can feel it against my thigh. I push my tongue into his mouth and deepen the kiss and he reciprocates immediately. His hands become more bold, molding my breasts, as his lips trail down my neck, eliciting a lustful moan.

"Tell me about this dream," he urges, pulling back just enough to look at me.

"It's the first good dream I've had in over a year," I whisper.

Sam smiles wistfully. "I'm glad, Ror."

I nod. "Me, too."

"Why do you think that is?" he asks cautiously.

I laugh. "Well, considering the nature of the dream, I think it may have something to do with you," I tease.

"Yeah?" he asks hopefully, and I nod. "So why don't you tell me a little more about this dream?" He smirks as his hands renew their exploration of my overheated skin.

"Hmm..." I pretend to think about it. "Nah." Sam pouts adorably and I smirk right back at him. "I could...
show
you," I offer instead.

His eyes brighten as I push at his chest so that he rolls off of me, and begin to play out my dream.

The real thing is far better.

****

I collapse on top of him and catch my breath, my face buried against his neck. I'd never been in charge before, and though I was a little uncertain at first, Sam guided me, and,
God,
he certainly knows what he's doing.

"I think I have a new favorite pastime," Sam drawls as he catches his breath.

I giggle. "I'm pretty sure sex is every guy's favorite pastime."

Sam lets out a short chuckle. "Not just sex, baby, though I'm not gonna lie, I've always been a fan," he says with a smirk, "It's watching
you
come apart under me, or on top of me, or-"

"Sam!" I cut him off and playfully slap at his chest, but can't help another giggle.

He grins. "I mean it. It's the most beautiful fucking thing I've ever seen," he replies, throwing his head back onto his pillow with a sigh.

I both love and hate these incredibly romantic comments. I wonder if he'd be so recklessly saying such things if he knew how I felt about him. Probably not. He'd probably be running in the opposite direction.

"Don't say things like that," I whisper, careful to hide my face against his shoulder.

"Why the hell not? It's the truth," he retorts.

I sigh, scooting off of him and under the duvet, suddenly very aware of my nudity. Sam turns to face me, his fingers brushing over my cheek, his eyes cautious. "You have no idea what you do to me," he says carefully, gazing at me intently.

"Yeah? And what's that?" I ask, one eyebrow arched. The corner of his mouth lifts into a half smirk.

"You make me feel fucking invincible."

I burst into a fit of giggles. "How the hell do I do that?" I ask, still laughing. Sam slides under the duvet and leans on his elbow, looking down at me.

"Well, we both know you're the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen-"

I open my mouth to argue, but he presses his index finger to my lips to shush me and continues.

"You tell me things you don't tell anyone else. I
love
that. You let me touch you, you let me hug you, hold you. Then you
kissed
me last night. That was fucking awesome, even though you were drunk off your ass. That kiss alone would've made my whole trip. But
now
, you let me make you
come
. I gave you your first-"

"
Jesus
, Sam!" I try to stop him, because though every word he says is true, he is
mortifying
me. He doesn't comply.

"Shh, don't interrupt," he says, before continuing as if there was no interruption. "Your first orgasm." He licks his lips so subtly that I'm sure it was completely subconscious. "No one can take that away from me, you know.
And
..." He pauses and his smile becomes less smug and more wistful, "you let me take away your bad dreams," he says in a whisper.

I don't say anything. He did. He took away my nightmares, at least while he held me last night. And this afternoon.

His smile shifts back into a smirk. "And not only that, but if I recall correctly, it wasn't one, but..." he bites his lip and pretends to count before holding up three fingers, counting how many times he got me off. "And counting," he adds with a devilish grin. I blush bright red, but I can't help but laugh.

"Sam, my
God!
" I admonish, and his smirk grows.

"Exactly my point," he teases. "And when you say that when you're about to come, baby girl, I
feel
like a fucking God," he drawls as he plops back down onto his pillow dramatically and I'm caught between a fit of giggles and extreme humiliation. I throw my forearm over my face, completely unable to look at him right now.

"I guess you kinda are a God in that respect," I murmur, enjoying his ego right now, happy to please him when he's done so much for me. He pulls my arm away and I see that he's rolled back to his side and is looking down at me with wide eyes.

"In what respect?" he asks excitedly, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. I bite my lip, trying on my own smirk.

"In bed," I say with a shrug, totally nonchalant.

Sam makes a growling sound and bends down to kiss me deeply, making me real happy I decided to play this game with him and be truthful instead of drowning in embarrassment.

"You sure know what to say to a guy, Ror. Tell me how big I am again," he demands playfully and I laugh.

We kiss, and laugh, and kiss some more.

I can't believe how comfortable I feel with Sam. I never thought I could feel this way, not with anyone. Not even before Robin.

"Do we really have to go to separate dinners tonight?" I whine, before I realize how clingy that must have sounded.

"Hmm... We can ditch our friends... stay right here, order room service," Sam suggests, brushing my hair off of my shoulder before cautiously pressing his lips to my collar bone. My skin tingles.
How does he know how to find these secret spots?
My fingers comb through his hair all on their own accord.

"That sounds real good," I murmur shyly, not quite sure how serious he actually was, but the idea of spending the evening the same way we spent the afternoon is too appealing to simply brush off. Sam's responding grin tells me he wasn't kidding.

"Say the word, Ror, I'll text Tuck right now and make up an excuse."

I bite my lip, considering it.

"If we both make up excuses to ditch them, they'll know somethin's up, Sam," I reply, not bothering to conceal my disappointment. "They'll think you and me are..." I trail off.
They'll think we're what? Hooking up? Something more? I
don't even know what we're doing.

"I got news for you, baby - they already know. I'm pretty sure they knew before we even did," Sam retorts matter of factly.

I groan. I hate the idea of anyone knowing my personal business, especially something as private and intimate as getting physical with Sam. It's not like they'd think we're just making out. The still-vivid memory of nasty names being sprayed onto my driveway comes unbidden to my mind and I cringe.

"Come on, Ror," he says gently, "even if they hadn't already noticed something was up, it's not like we can hide it indefinitely, right? I mean, I can't just
not
kiss you now that I know how fucking great your mouth tastes." He leans in and proves his point, that when he's near me, I want his lips on mine just as badly.