North American Lake Monsters (26 page)
He wasn’t expecting this. “It’s . . . I’ve been sleeping on the floor.”
She just stared at him. He could see the pain in her face, the old familiar fear. “What’s been going on here, Dad? What’s she done this time?”
“She uh . . . she’s not doing very well, Heather.”
He watched tears gather in her eyelids. Then her face darkened and she rubbed them roughly away. “You told me she was fine,” she said quietly.
“I didn’t want to upset you. I wanted you to come home.”
“You didn’t want to
upset
me?” Her voice rose into a shout. Her hand clenched at her side, and he watched her wrestle down the anger. It took her a minute.
“I’m sorry, Heather.”
She shook her head. She wouldn’t look at him. “Whatever. Did she try to kill herself again? She’s not even here at all, is she. Is she in the psych ward?”
“No, she’s here. And yes, she did.”
She turned her back to him and walked into the living room, where she dropped onto the couch and slouched back, her arms crossed over her chest like a child. Sean followed her, pried loose one of her hands and held onto it as he sat beside her.
“She needs us, kiddo.”
“I would
never
have come back!” she said, her rage cresting like a sun. “God damn it!”
“Hey! Now listen to me. She needs us.”
“She needs to be committed!”
“Stop it. Stop that. I know this is hard.”
“Oh do you?” She glared at him, her face red. He had never seen her like this; anger made her face into something ugly and unrecognizable. “
How
do you know, Dad? When did you ever have to deal with it? It was always me! I was the one at home with her. I was the one who had to call the hospital that one time I found her in her own blood and then call you so you could come! I was the one who—” She gave in then, abruptly and catastrophically, like a battlement falling; sobs broke up whatever else she was going to say. She pulled in a shuddering breath and said, “I can’t believe you
tricked
me!”
“
Every night!
” Sean hissed, his own large hands wrapped into fists, cudgels on his lap. He saw them there and caught himself. He felt something slide down over his mind. The emotions pulled away, the guilt and the horror and the shame, until he was only looking at someone having a fit. People, it seemed, were always having some kind of breakdown or another. Somebody had to keep it together. Somebody always had to keep it together.
“It was
not
just you. Every night I came home to it. Will she be okay tonight? Will she be normal? Or will she talk about walking in front of a bus? Will she be crying because of something I said, or she thinks I said, last fucking week? Every night. Do you think it all just went away when you went to sleep? Come out of your narcissistic little bubble and realize that the world is bigger than you.”
She looked at him, shocked and hurt. Her lower lip was trembling, and the tears came back in force.
“But I always stood by her side. Always.” He took her lightly by the arm and stood with her. “Your mother needs us. And we’re going to go see her. Right now.”
He led her toward the basement door.
What is the story of our family?
He led her down the stairs, into the cool, earthy musk of the basement, the
smell of upturned soil a dank bloom in the air. His grip on her arm was firm as he descended one step ahead of her. The light from the kitchen behind them was an ax blade in the darkness, cutting a narrow wedge. It illuminated the corner of the mattress, powdered with a layer of dirt. Beside it, the bottom two feet of the support beam she had nailed the bird to; something new was screwed into place there, but he could intuit from the glistening mass only gristle and hair, a sheet of dried blood beneath it.
“What’s going on here? Oh my God, Dad, what’s going on?”
“Your mom’s in trouble. She needs us.”
Heather made a noise and he clamped down harder on her arm.
“Katie?” he said. “Heather’s here.” His voice did not carry, the words dropping like stones at his feet.
Our family has weathered great upheaval. Our family is bound together by love.
They heard something shift, in the darkness beyond the reach of the light.
“Mom?”
“Katie? Where are you, honey?”
“Dad, what happened to her?”
“Just tell me where you are, sweetheart. We’ll come to you.”
They reached the bottom of the steps, and as he moved out of the path of the kitchen light it shone more fully on the thing fixed to the post: a gory mass of scrambled flesh, a ragged web of graying black hair. Something moved in the shadows beyond it, small and hunched and pale, its back buckling with each grunted effort, like something caught in the act of love.
Our family will not abandon itself.
Heather stepped backward; her heel caught on the lowest step and she fell onto the stairs.
Sean approached his wife. She labored weakly in the bottom of a small declivity, grave-shaped, worm-spangled, her dull white bones poking through the parchment skin of her back, her spine bending as she burrowed into the earth. Her denuded skull still bore the tatters of its face, like the flag of a ruined army.
“Daddy, come on.” Sean turned to see his daughter crawling up the stairs. She reached the top and crawled through the doorway, pulling her legs in after her. In the light, he could see the tears on her face, the twist of anguish. “Daddy, please. Come on. Come on.”
Sean put his hand on Katie’s back. “Don’t you remember me? I’m your husband. Don’t you remember?”
She continued to work, slowly, her arms like shovels powered by a fading battery.
He lifted her from her place in the earth, dirt sifting from her body like a snowfall, and clutched her tightly to his chest. He rested his head against the blood-greased curve of her skull, cradled her forehead in his hand. “Stay with me.”
Heather, one more time, from somewhere above him: “Daddy, oh no, please come up. Please.”
“Get down here,” Sean said. “Goddamn you, get down here.”
The door shut, cutting off the wedge of light. He held his wife in his arms, rocking her back and forth, cooing into the ear that still remained.
He pulled her away, but she barely knew it. Everything was quiet now. Silence blew from the hole she had dug
like smoke. She could feel what lay just beyond. The new countryside. The unspeaking multitude. Steeples and arches of bone; temples of silence. She felt the great shapes that moved there, majestic and unfurled, utterly silent, utterly dark.
He held her, breathing air onto the last cinder in her skull.
Her fingers scraped at empty air, the remains of her body engaged in this one final enterprise, working with a machine’s unguided industry, divorced at last from its practical function. Working only because that was its purpose; its rote, inelegant chore.
Acknowledgments
TK
Publication History
“You Go Where It Takes You”
copyright ©
2004
by Nathan Ballingrud. Originally published in
Scifiction
, 2004.
“Wild Acre”
copyright ©
2012
by Nathan Ballingrud. Originally published in
Visions Fading Fast,
Vol. 1, 2012.
“S.S.”
copyright ©
2005
by Nathan Ballingrud. Originally published in
The Third Alternative
, 2005.
“The Crevasse”
copyright ©
2009
by Nathan Ballingrud and Dale Bailey. Originally published in
Lovecraft Unbound
, 2009.
“The Monsters of Heaven”
copyright ©
2007
by Nathan Ballingrud. Originally published in
Inferno
, 2007.
“Sunbleached”
copyright ©
2011
by Nathan Ballingrud. Originally published in
Teeth
,
2011.
“North American Lake Monsters”
copyright ©
2008
by Nathan Ballingrud. Originally published in
The Del Rey Book of Science Fiction & Fantasy,
2008.
“The Way Station”
copyright ©
2011
by Nathan Ballingrud. Originally published in
The Naked City
,
2011.
“The Good Husband”
copyright ©
2013
by Nathan Ballingrud
appears here for the first time.
About the Author
Nathan Ballingrud was born in Massachusetts in 1970 but has spent most of his life in the South. He’s worked as a bartender in New Orleans and a cook on offshore oil rigs. His stories have appeared in several Year’s Best anthologies, and “The Monsters of Heaven” won the inaugural Shirley Jackson Award for Best Short Story. He lives in Asheville, North Carolina, with his daughter.
