North (57 page)

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Authors: LOUIS-FERDINAND CÉLINE

Tags: #Autobiographical fiction, #War Stories, #Historical Fiction, #Historical, #Biographical, #World War, #1939-1945, #1939-1945 - Fiction, #Fiction, #Literary, #Adventure stories, #War & Military, #General, #Picaresque literature

BOOK: North
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"Göring?"

"Not the fat one, not Hermann! . . . no! . . . Werner Goring, the alienist! . . . oh, this one's extremely moderate . . . reasonable . . . no pretzel-bender . . . he'll be glad to meet you, he speaks French . . . much better than me . . . wrote a magnificent thesis in French, for Dupré in Paris . . ."

Another mirthquake about that one . . .
oh-ho-ho!

"Werner's an expert clinician! . . . you'll see!"

"So you're sending them to Königsberg? . . . the whole lot? . . . ladies and retinue?"

"Exactly! . . . via Stettin and along the Baltic . . . you see the picture? . . . grandiose life up there! . . . never been? . . . forests! . . . wolves! . . . bears! . . . rabbits!
oh-ho-ho!
hasn't she invited you?"

"Oh yes!. . . yes indeed! . . . all of us!"

"You'll go, later . . . if you want to! . . . her castle! . . . gigantic! . . . she hasn't explored it all . . . impossible! never seen the whole of it! and the forests! the snows! . . . the foxes! . . . the eagles! . . . and 'partisans'! Russian! . . . hordes!"

"Harras, I believe you know everything!"

"Not everything, but quite a lot . . ."

"Well then, those powdered men who came here?"

"Oh-ho-ho!
. . . perfectly possible! . . . they infiltrate, don't you see . . . what can we do?"

"And the Moorsburg prostitutes?"

"They're in Hamburg! . . . Hamburg's in flames! . . . worse than Berlin! that's where they wanted to go . . . all the prostitutes in Germany are rushing to meet the English!"

"I see! . . . I see!"

"Your obsession, colleague, is the north . . . Denmark! . . . 'partisans' in Denmark too! . . . didn't you know? . . . ferocious! . . . oh well, if that's your idea! . . . I can't help you, but Göring can! he's got the rubber stamp! . . . this big!"

He shows me . . . the width of his palm . . . the enormous rubber stamp . . .

"Göring can do it, General Göring! . . . and more! . . . you'll see! . . .
boom!
this big!"

He imitates the general affixing his stamp . . .

"Administration!
boom!
. . . Surgeon-General Göring! . . . oh, very friendly! . . . you'll see! . . . doesn't shoot his mouth off like me! . . . no! . . . shrewd alienist! level-headed! reasonable! . . . Kracht!"

Kracht comes running . . .

"Everything all right? . . .
es geht?"

"Oh yes! . . . they're working . . . they ought to be ready soon . . ."

"Colleague . . . our patient?"

Asleep, I should think . . .

"He's had his four ampuls . . ."

"And the two ladies?"

"Marie-Thérèse? . . . Thor von Thorfels?"

"They're sleeping . . . oh, definitely . . . but not sound enough . . ."

With all this noise, he's got something there . . . we're used to it, but even so! . . . floor! . . . windowpanes! . . . the explosions fall back down and seem to scatter . . . from the sky to the plain . . . in cascades! . . . all over the place . . . Harras is right, the
Revizor
isn't sleeping right, just dozing . . . he wouldn't understand us, he doesn't know French . . . but the ladies . . . we're not saying very much, but even so . . . I suggest . . .

"Should I give them another two ccs.  . . . they'll vomit!"

"Doesn't matter!"

"They'll still be asleep tomorrow . . ."

"All the better . . . Marie-Thérèse stays here! . . . she's at home, nobody'll bother her, no trouble! . . . we're taking the other one away!"

Okay, morphine! . . . I inject. . . first the
Revizor
. . . then the two ladies . . . all three with the same syringe . . . and the same needle . . . Harras observes . . .

"Morphine addicts never boil their syringes . . . and they seldom get abscesses . . ."

I tell him how one night when I was a doctor aboard the Chella I had to give more than two hundred shots . . . same way! . . . not a single abscess! . . . shipwreck victims! horror for horror, he tells me how in Krasnodar he'd had to amputate a whole ward full of Russian prisoners without a drop of chloroform . . .

"Harras! . . . shades of Ambroise Paré!"

"Oh, the Russians are amazing, colleague! . . . animals complain . . . Russians, not a whimper! . . . and that's not all . . . you know what they, wanted me to do? while I was at it? . . . pull a tooth! . . . two teeth! . . . in addition to their legs . . . dentists are rare in that country . . ."

Le Vigan was listening, but our little stories didn't amuse him . . .

"Le Vigan, give me a hand!"

I could see that the ladies weren't sleeping . . . lousy morphine!

"Poor stuff, Harras!"

I load my syringe . . .

First divan! . . . Countess Thor von Thorfels . . . at that time, in Zornhof, I was still very adroit, you couldn't feel my needle . . . now I've got the shakes . . .

"The
Revizor!"

He sees us coming back . . . he's delighted . . .

"Merkwürdig!
. . . marvelous!"

Harras fills me in . . .

"You know colleague, you and I . . . we won't be getting any sleep tonight! . . . no thebaine for us! . . . caffeine! . . . a long wait!"

"But my dear Harras, I have no desire to sleep! . . . none at all!"

"And Madame Destouches?"

"Oh, the same! the same!"

"But Monsieur Le Vigan perhaps?"

"Hum! Hum!"

Le Vigan s thinking it over . . . Harras lifts a finger . . . an idea, by golly! . . .

"Monsieur Le Vigan, café-crême! better still, don't you think? . . . I'd forgotten! . . . I've got everything! . . . everything!"

"Sure thing! . . .
café-crême?
. . . where?"

"In the car! how stupid of me! . . . you'll see! . . . administration! Kracht! Kracht! . . . the tin box! . . . you know . . . bring it in . . . if you please!"

We wait . . . he brings the box . . . some box . . . it's a trunk, no less! . . . he opens it . . . it's full of thermos bottles!

"Drink! . . . drink! . . .
café-crême!
your health!"

I taste it . . . not bad, the real stuff! . . . we'll never sleep again! . . . seven eight thermos bottles . . . good and hot! . . .

Le Vigan tastes . . . ah, no ersatz! . . .
moka-créme!
definitely!

"You haven't got that in the cupboard!
oh-ho-ho!"

That sparkling wit!

Le Vigan starts singing . . . oh yes! . . . and pretty loud . . .

"Harras, well never sleep again!"

"Watch it! . . . our general will be turning up!"

General? . . . bah! what's a general to Le Vig? . . . let him turn up!"

               "Y avait dix filles dans un pré!
               Toutes les dix à marier!
               Y avait Dine! . . . y avait Chine!"

"Shhh! shhh! . . . Le Vig!"

"You see! . . . sound asleep!"

              "Et la duchesse de Montbazon!"

"Shut up! . . . shut up!"

He's miffed . . .

"If that's the way it is, I'll tell him the whole story!"

"Canary! You want to go to jail?"

"Exactly!"

"You want to be shot?"

"Why not? . . . tell me why not!"

I signal to Harras . . . his head! . . . yes yes! . . . it's all right! . . . he knows . . . what doesn't he know?

But is the wagon harnessed?

"Kracht! Kracht!"

Kracht again . . .

"Jawohl!
. . . everything's ready!" . . . Nicholas is ready . . . and the two SA escorts . . . we're to wait . . . Harras's orders! . . . Kracht makes another trip to the isba . . . be comes back . . . "Don't take them out yet . . . have they eaten? . . . have they slept? . . . all of them?"

"Ja ja! . . . ja!"

We wait . . . one minute . . . two minutes . . . and
rat-tat-tat!
. . . a motorcycle . . . another! . . . a whole squadron of motorcycles! . . . man! . . . he'd told me . . . he tells me again . . .

"Don't call him by his name! . . . whatever you do! . . . colleague, that's it! . . . colleague! . . . don't act as if you knew . . . or Madame! . . . or Le Vigan! . . . he's very friendly, very simple . . ."

Rat-tat-tat!
. . . more motorcycles . . . and then a horrible clanking of chains!

"He's come in a tank! . . .
panzer!
. . .
panzer
. . . a general, you see! . . . a general! . . . he knows how to talk to lunatics! . . . oh, yes! . . . friendly! . . . you'll see! . . . not one of those intolerant alienists! no! not a fanatic!"

He still has time to say . . .

"Most understanding! . . . but don't mention his brother!"

"Oh no! . . . no!"

There's the general . . . he gets out of the tank . . . he seems to know the estate . . . and the manor . . . he's dressed like Harras . . . military chameleon style . . . but unarmed . . . as far as I can see . . . he comes up to us!
heil! heil!
"attention!" . . . and handshakes all around! . . . he greets Lili . . . he takes off his helmet . . . a low bow! . . . not eccentric like Harras . . . very dignified, in fact . . . no
oh-ho-ho
about him! Le Vig breaks in . . .

              "Catherinette . . . Catherina! 
              Et la duchesse de Montbazon!

No sign of surprise . . .

"Yes, yes,
mon cher
, of course!"

He knew it . . .

              "Mes voeux! prières a Célinè . . . è . . . ne! 
              Toutes mes grâces à la Du-mai . . . ai . . . ne!"

Bravo! bravo! the general applauds . . . Le Vig sits down . . . at last someone who understands him . . . instantly . . .

"Splendid, Harras, we shall speak French!"

This Göring? fortyish . . . no bay window like Harras . . . far from it . . . and not a loud speaker . . . soft, husky voice, white hair . . . a man with troubles . . . and a few wrinkles! . . . a hundred years old! . . . light blue eyes . . . we've got our troubles too, come to think of it . . . Le Vig's sulking . . . he takes another chair . . . no! . . . a stool! . . . I go and whisper in his ear . . .

It's all right, Le Vig, you can go ahead . . . tell him you killed the
Landrat!
. . . you can shout! . . . go on! . . . try!"

"You think he won't care?"

"Not a bit!"

"No! I won't say a thing!"

He picks up his stool and goes off in the corner . . . he sits down . . . he's miffed . . . he crosses his eyes . . . he uncrosses them . . . the surgeon-general's going to say something . . . to me! . . . he's going to explain! . . . I'd been thinking of something else . . .

"You see, my dear colleague . . ."

He speaks very slowly, he's afraid I won't understand . . . I see he has fine hands, oh yes . . . but his nails are dirty . . . traveling in the tank . . .

"Well, you see . . . Zomhof . . . the Chancellery can't ignore it . . . they've sent me . . . all this must be straightened out . . . immediately! . . . you've heard? . . . the difficulties in the east . . . and recently in the west . . . very serious! . . . we have to raise new troops . . . a levy! . . . you understand levy? . . . like Napoleon! . . ."

"Oh certainly,
mon général"

"No! no! . . . not a general to you! . . . your humble colleague!" . . . that's all! . . . and a psychiatrist! . . . you see? . . . a madman among madmen! . . ."

He's going to smile . . . no . . . the barest shadow . . .

"Yes! . . . yes! . . . visibly! they've covered me with embroidery . . . to complete the picture! . . . am I right, Harras?"

"Oh-ho-ho!
you're too hard on yourself!"

"Not really! . . . not really, Harras!"

He explains . . .

"Zornhof is too near Berlin . . . for all these scandals! . . . you understand? . . . you see my point? seventy miles! a stone's throw! . . . far away . . . let's say two hundred miles . . . it wouldn't have mattered! a trifle! . . . the Party wouldn't have bothered! . . . but here . . . impossible! a scandal right next door! . . . they can't help overhearing! you see my point, colleague?"

"Perfectly!"

"I must settle all this! immediately! . . ."

"Certainly! certainly, colleague!"

"The orders have been issued! . . . in Berlin! . . . we here . . . the execution . . . the details! . . . well then, Harras?"

Harras keeps running out and coming back . . . the general asks him . . .

"Is everything ready?"

"Jawohl!"

"Bring them out, but careful! . . . sure to resist!"

"Oh no! . . . they're asleep!"

The ones in the isba?"

"Oh, yes . . ."

The two women here on their divans . . . Thor von Thorfels and Marie-Thérèse . . . they don't have to move . . . they haven't vomited . . . neither has the
Revizor
, he's groaning a little but in his sleep . . .

Kracht whispers to me . . . Thor von Thorfels . . . the best way . . . we'll carry her to the wagon as is, swaddled in blankets . . . all right with me . . . six or eight of us . . . we'll lay her down in her blankets and she won't wake up . . . she'll sleep all the way, she'll wake up in her castle! good joke! . . . I'm dog-tired, but one thing that strikes me . . . our eminent colleague hasn't mentioned the two deaths . . . no, three! . . . I'd forgotten the
Landrat!
no! not I don't forget a thing! it's the hurry and excitement! Kracht has the three reports in his pocket . . . Harras asks for them . . ."quick, Kracht! quick!" Göring has to "certify" them . . . we hand them over . . . he reads . . .

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