Not a Chance (6 page)

She looked at him. They just held hands, now. "It's a practical story."

"Sure. But you're going to have grandchildren someday. And they're going to beg you to tell them how you and grandpa fell in love. And wouldn't it be much more interesting to say that you met one fateful night when you were caught together in a snowstorm. After which you spent four days talking and laughing and falling in love. Now that's a good story."

Arden tried to come up with something withering to say. But he was holding her hand and looking at her like she was something glorious. And she wanted him like she'd never wanted anyone before. She wanted to touch him and taste him and memorize him. She wanted to rip his shirt off of him and nestle her face in the soft hair on his strong chest.

Of course, those were all physical things. And it would be wrong to give in to physical attraction that had no basis for a future when she was engaged to a perfectly good man. So what if Nick didn't excite her like this. She owed him her loyalty. He was attractive in his own way. In fact, he was just what she'd always wanted. Tall, trim, well-dressed and always smelling good. She should focus on learning to be turned on by Nick and stop thinking about Travis. Besides, it was only boredom and isolation that was driving these thoughts.

Travis was stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. When she looked at him she saw he was lost in his own thoughts. He wasn't even looking at her. Just staring at their hands, his brow furrowed.

"Travis," she said softly, "I think if you'll just realize that we're bored out of our mind here. I could be any female. You could be any male. Of course we're going to want to do things we shouldn't. It'll go away once we're back to our own homes and lives. You probably won't even think about me anymore. And I'll forget all about these feelings I'm having for you right now. Because they're not real. They're not deep. They're basic human instinct. But we're rational people and we can fight it for another day or two."

Travis looked at her, a mild expression of disgust in his eyes. "Don't act like you know how I feel," he said.

She was surprised by his bluntness.

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, closing his eyes. She saw then that his feelings were deeper than what she'd just described. She jerked her hand away. "I'm engaged," she said.

"No shit," he said.

"I'm not interested in you."

"Yeah, I'm figuring that out. But thanks for being up front about it." He turned and sat up on the edge of the mattress, his back to her. He dug his palms into his eyes for a second and then stood and went into the kitchen.

Arden rolled over and pulled the blanket up to her chin. It smelled like him. She breathed deeply and closed her eyes.

CHAPTER TEN

Travis hiked back to the truck on his own. He didn't want Arden slipping through the slush and mud in those stupid heels of hers. When he got to the truck he was relieved to see that the ditch it was in wasn't nearly as deep as he'd remembered. With the snow mostly melted, he figured he wouldn't even have to disconnect Arden's car. It took a couple of tries to get the engine to turn over, but then it started. He climbed in and waited while it warmed up.

While he waited he thought about Arden. His Arden. In only four full days and nights he'd come to think of her as his. She was, too, she just wouldn't admit it to herself. Fine. Whatever. He could wait. He was fully aware and accepting of the fact that most people didn't fall in love as quickly as he did. He simply had the ability to see a person for who she was, flaws and all, and love her. It was the way all of his friendships had evolved.

He remembered meeting Tonya when they were kids. Only twelve. He'd whistled at her. She'd turned around and punched him in the face, making his nose bleed. And forever after he'd been in love. With Arden it felt almost exactly the same. He was twenty-plus years older than that first love, but the sensation was unmistakable. If he went home alone, he would be in a great deal of misery.

The truck warmed up, Travis shifted into first and pulled out of the ditch, fast enough to get out, but not so fast as to spin his tires in the soft, clay road. He made it out with no problems. Arden would be pleased. She wouldn't have to wait much longer to go back to her perfect life.

Inside the house, she was packing away the last of the romance novels and games into boxes. She'd already tidied the kitchen and re-covered the furniture. Earlier that morning they'd returned the mattress upstairs.

She looked up from where she knelt next to the box of books and smiled. "You got it out okay?"

"No problem," Travis said. He shoved his hands in his pockets and waited for her.

"Great!" She folded the box closed and then hopped to her feet. She wiped her hands on her skirt, the same one she'd worn when he'd first picked her up, and beamed at him. "Are we ready, then?"

He nodded. She was so happy. So happy to be going home. Not at all sad that she wouldn't be sleeping next to him tonight.

She skipped to the front door and had her hand on the handle when Travis came up behind her and put his hand on the door above her head, holding it closed.

"I need to say something before we go back and go our separate ways," he said.

She turned to him and the smile died on her face. "I wish you wouldn't," she said. "I think we've got a great start to a wonderful friendship and I'm afraid you're just going to ruin it."

"That's fine with me," he said. "I don't need another friend. What I do need is you. For however long I can have you. Forever would be my preference."

Her jaw jutted out slightly, she folded her arms over her chest and looked away. One of her many spoiled princess poses.

"I love you, Arden," he said. And his heart rate sped up at the sound of the words coming out of his mouth. The commitment of them. The excitement and possibility of them. He took a deep, shuddering breath. "I love you," he said again.

She looked at him, her expression softening just a bit, although she was clearly trying with all her might to be hard. "Is that what you wanted to say?"

He swallowed down the ache in his chest. "Yeah. That's all. I just needed you to know."

She nodded. He dropped his hand and stepped back so she could open the door. He couldn't look at her. He waited, but she didn't open the door and so he had to look at her. Her hands fidgeted at her waist and she looked uncertain...a strange thing for her. "It's just...maybe if I was unhappy with my current arrangement with Nick...but I've got no reason to leave him."

Travis held his breath in and tried not to get excited. Maybe he could still sell this. "If you like me better, isn't that a good enough reason?"

She shook her head. "How would you feel if I promised to marry you and then found someone else I liked better and left you. That's not my idea of commitment. Nick and I have been together a very long time. Of course the passion has faded. It always does. So it would be wrong of me to drop a solid, promising relationship for the excitement of a new passion that will also fade someday."

"I understand, Arden. It makes sense. You're right in the hypothetical sense. But what's happened to you and Nick...it's not the same. If you loved him, there would still be passion. But you don't love him. It's wrong to stay with him when you don't love him."

"I don't like it when you tell me that I don't love him. I do. I always have. I'm staying with him and that's that. I'm not interested in you. You'd be fun for a few weeks and then I'd be bored."

Travis frowned, stung by the harshness of her words.

"I know you say you love me. But I don't love you. I think you're a great guy and I want to be friends. But that's it. Okay?"

He wanted to grab her and kiss her and make her love him. He watched her as she stood tall and cold and untouchable. She didn't want him. If she did she would touch him or show some sign of regret at refusing him or maybe even kiss him. But she put the whole world in between them and even though she was only an arm's length away, he couldn't have touched her if he tried.

He nodded. "Okay," he said, mentally cursing his weak voice. "If you change your mind..."

"I won't." She turned and opened the door and walked to the truck.

Travis followed.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Arden still lived with her parents. Splitlog hosted several apartment complexes, but none suited her needs. There were two sets on the broken down part of town, furthest from the river. Small rooms, mold and flea infestations, and dodgy window AC units. Then there were the three-bedroom duplexes over on Sycamore street which were pretty nice...but not as nice as the entire second story of the Butler's mini mansion on The Hill, which Arden had entirely to herself.

It was to this destination that Arden was now headed. After five days, the snow and ice had finally melted enough for Travis to get the truck out of the ditch. Now she sat next to him on the slow drive home. She fidgeted with her hands in her lap and gnawed on her bottom lip.

"Relax," Travis growled.

She glanced up at him. "I'm worried about you."

He barked a laugh. "Right. Sure you are."

Arden shook her head and stared out the window. They were only three miles out of town but the going was a little slower than normal. She watched the trees in the wind as they rained down clumps of melting snow. "Maybe we could get together for lunch tomorrow."

She could sense his hands tightening on the steering wheel. "I don't want to be friends," he said, his voice low and menacing. It couldn't fool her, though. It had taken her all of an hour to realize that Travis was a sweetheart on the inside. He just didn't look the part. Especially now, his flannel shirt rolled up to his elbows, the muscles in his forearms flexing. He had a short, shaggy beard flecked with gray. Arden smiled up at him. He looked like a mountain man. And not a friendly one.

"You've got gray in your beard," she said, laughing and reaching up to touch his face.

He jerked his head away like a little kid and shot her a glare. "I do not."

"Look in the mirror."

She watched as he reluctantly pulled down the visor and flipped up the mirror. Then he cursed, snapped the mirror closed and pushed the visor back up.

"Don't be grumpy. Gray hairs are sexy. They make you look older and more distinguished."

She finally got a grin out of him. She loved to make him smile. "Sexy, huh?" he said. But slowly his expression soured again. "A lot of good that'll do me."

She sighed, feeling her patience wan. "You're being unreasonable."

"I'm unreasonable because I have feelings?"

"You're unreasonable because you let your feelings dictate your actions. Me...I'm reasonable. I take into consideration my feelings but I don't let them control me."

Travis grunted.

"Just look at this situation with Duane," Arden went on. "You love him, so you do everything for him even though any one with eyes can see that he's a lost cause."

"You don't get to talk about my brother," Travis said. "That's none of your business. And you don't know him anyway. He's a good kid."

"No," Arden said. "You were a good kid. Duane is not."

Travis pounded a fist on the steering wheel. "Keep talking and you can walk home."

Arden shut up. She knew her limits. She also knew Travis and his reaction was extremely predictable, so much so that she wasn't even startled at his response. There was no other subject in the world that brought out his ire more than Duane. Arden ached to help him see, to reason with him that he would be so much better off if he could just let Duane go. But Travis was stubborn. And loyal. And too full of love for his own good. Not bad flaws to have, all-in-all.

They were in town now, only two minutes from home. The Christmas decorations were hanging from the lampposts, but they did little to cheer up the gloomy, soggy atmosphere that morning. Travis made a left turn down the street that led through the woods and up the hill to the wealthiest subdivision in Splitlog. He made another left turn up the driveway to the fanciest house in the county. He threw the truck into park, got out and came around to open Arden's door.

"Your highness," he said, bowing sarcastically.

Arden glared at him and slapped him on the arm. She started to walk on up to her door, but Travis caught her by the wrist. She turned and looked up at him, slightly offended at being grabbed so harshly. He seemed to notice. He swallowed and let go of her arm.

"Um," he started and then cleared his throat. "I guess we could have lunch tomorrow."

Arden felt warmth in her cold, icy heart. "As friends?" she asked, beaming up at him.

He shrugged. "If that's all you're offering, I guess I'll take it."

She threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her off her feet in a big bear hug. She felt his strong hands splayed across her back and the pounding of his heart against her chest. His hug made her think of wine and firelight and soft music. She nuzzled her face into his neck and he squeezed her a little tighter.

And then suddenly she remembered that it wouldn't be that way. Not at all. Not with him. She pushed away and kicked her feet. Her right foot connected with his shin and he dropped her to the ground. She backed away, glaring up at him. "It wouldn't be wine and a fireplace and cello music. It would be beer and bonfires and loud, twangy Hank Williams Jr. I don't want that, Travis, and you're not going to make me feel like a bitch for wanting something better for myself!"

Travis gawked. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I don't want you! I want Nick. And that's that and you're not going to trick me into changing my mind." She turned on her heel and pounded pavement up to her door.