Not by Sight (32 page)

Abby walked over to her grandfather. He sat her on his knee the way he had done so many times when she was little.

“God knows where Riley Jo is,” Grandpa said. “We have to trust Him.”

“I know. I do. I mean, I want to, but …”

“You feel like you’re flyin’ blind?”

Abby nodded.

“Well, I guess, in a way, we are. Isn’t that what faith is? If we could see where we were goin’, it wouldn’t really be faith, now would it?”

“I guess not. But it’s so hard.”

“It takes practice. Maybe that’s why so many trials come our way. Nobody ever said trustin’ God was easy. I expect most everybody’d rather have control. I sure would.”

“Me, too.”

“But He’s got a plan way bigger than we can grasp. And everything—even the difficult things—fits in to it somewhere. He’s all about buildin’ character, not keepin’ us comfortable.”

Abby mused, “So you
really
believe that all the sadness we’ve dealt with these past five years had a purpose?”

“Absolutely. Don’t ask me what, because I couldn’t tell you. But God doesn’t waste anything, not even the suffering we believers go through. Some kinda good comes out of it. The Bible says so, and I believe it. Doesn’t mean I understand it.”

“It doesn’t really make sense,” Abby said.

“Certainly not to our natural mind. But somewhere deep in your spirit, it’s actually a relief when we give in to it.” Grandpa kissed her cheek. “You and me’ve got a real advantage over Kate and Hawk. We know God’s sovereign. So there’s no point in tormentin’ ourselves with a lot of what-ifs. We have to trust Him, that’s all there is to it. But since He’s at the controls, it’s okay that we’re flyin’ blind, if you know what I mean.”

Abby nodded. “I get it, Grandpa. I’m just not very good at it yet.”

There was a knock at the door. Hawk stood in the doorway, holding the portable phone. “It’s Jay. He apologized for calling our home phone, but you don’t have a cell phone anymore.”

“I’m gonna scoot out of here and let you talk to him,” her grandfather said.

Abby put her arms around him. “I love you, Grandpa. So much. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the chance to say that again.”

Grandpa pulled her a little closer and stroked her hair. “I love you too, honey. I never want to come that close to losin’ you again.”

Abby took the phone from Hawk and thanked him, then he and Grandpa Buck left her room and closed the door behind them.

Abby put the phone to her ear. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Jay said. “I’m sorry for calling so late on this line.”

“It’s all right. We’re all up.”

“I figured.” Jay exhaled into the receiver. “I’m sick about Ella. The deputies just left here. They asked me all kinds of questions—like
I
had anything to do with it. I can’t understand how this could happen.”

“Me, either. That’s what Sheriff Granger is trying to figure out.”

“How’s everyone holding up?”

“Mama’s a mess. Hawk’s mad. Grandpa and I are praying like nuts. Jesse’s trying to comfort everyone, but he hardly remembers Daddy or Riley Jo. How about you?”

“It was finally starting to sink in that we actually found your sister and escaped with our lives—and now this.”

Abby fell back on the bed. “I know. Did you tell your mother the whole story?”

“Every detail. I think she was shocked that I had the guts to go after your sister. But she cried when I told her I thought I’d accidentally shot and killed a man when I was twelve and was scared to say anything. She remembers how moody I was as an adolescent, but she’d heard that it was normal and blew it off.”

“I’m glad it’s finally out in the open,” Abby said, “and that you didn’t kill anyone. I’m so sorry you carried the guilt all that time.”

“Do you know if Isaiah’s confessed?”

Abby stared at the ceiling fan going round and round. “I’m not sure. But last I heard, he was still blaming you. Sheriff Granger believes us. But he can’t charge him with capital murder without more proof.”

“What kind of proof does he think he can get? I can’t prove his accusation wrong.”

“I don’t know. But he told us not to worry about it, that he already has enough to put Isaiah in jail for the rest of his life. And no one is going to prosecute you for the shooting.”

“I should’ve told someone,” Jay said. “If I had, maybe you would’ve gotten Riley Jo back five years ago.”

“I wish you could stop beating yourself up for that. No one is blaming you for being manipulated by Isaiah’s cruel lie.”

“
I
blame me.”

“But when you realized the truth,” Abby said, “you risked your
life
to get her back. Shouldn’t you give that equal time in your thinking?”

There was a long moment of dead air.

“Jay, you still there?”

“I’m here.”

“Well, shouldn’t you?” Abby asked.

“I guess so. Easier said than done.”

“Well, I’m going to help you keep it in its proper perspective.”

“Abby … can I see you tomorrow? I know this is bad timing with everyone waiting for news about Ella … or should I say Riley Jo?”

“Everyone in my family is saying Riley Jo now. But the sheriff can’t until the DNA results prove it. Thankfully, they took a mouth swab before she disappeared again.”

“I feel isolated out here,” Jay said. “Can I see you?”

“I don’t know why not. But I don’t think I should go very far from home while we’re waiting for a call from the sheriff.”

“I’m not ready to face your mother yet.”

“She wants to see you. But I agree that now is not the right time.”

“Where do you wanna meet, then?” Jay said.

“How about on the bench under the sycamore tree? Mama never walks down there. It’s a good place to talk, and I can also hear Mama’s whistle if something important happens.”

“Okay, what time?”

“Ten?”

“Great. I want to tell you about one really good thing that’s come out of this, but I don’t want to tell you over the phone. I’ll see you then.”

“Jay, wait … in all the craziness of today, I’m not sure I even thanked you for going after Riley Jo.”

“By all standards, it was a really dumb thing to do.”

“It worked,” Abby said. “And you risked your life when you didn’t have to.”

“It was the least I could do.”

“No. It was the
most
you could do.”

“I’m no hero, Abby.”

“You are to me.”

Abby let the truth of her words sink into the quiet moment that followed.

Finally she said, “I’ll see you in the morning. Be careful. I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m probably being paranoid, but you’re the only one who saw Isaiah with Riley Jo when Daddy was shot. Your testimony holds a lot of weight. Maybe whoever took Riley Jo from her foster home isn’t too happy about that.”

Chapter 35

Kate curled up on one end of the living-room couch, clutching a throw pillow, a ribbon of moonlight bathing her face. Her mind jumped from one memory to another, her heart breaking all over again at the harsh reality of Micah’s fate. She had come so close to having Riley Jo back in her arms, only to have her snatched again.

God, I’m desperate. I loved You once. I even trusted You. But You’ve proven to be cruel and unreliable, and now I wonder why I should ask You for anything. But I’m asking anyway. I have nothing to lose and nowhere else to turn. Please bring Riley Jo home to us.

Kate wiped a tear from her cheek.
I can’t promise You my undying devotion. I’m not even sure I still believe You exist. But I’m helpless. And if You are the God I once loved and trusted, then this isn’t too big for You. I’m not asking just for myself. I don’t deserve anything from You. But Abby has that blind trust I used to have, and I can’t bear to see her heart broken.

Kate dabbed her eyes. Had she really just asked God to help her? Had she really prayed to the One who let her husband be murdered? Had she become that desperate?

Kate felt as if she were left sitting on the edge of a cliff after clinging frantically to Micah’s hand as he ever so slowly, inch by inch, lost his grip and fell into nothingness. Now she held tightly to Riley Jo’s hand, but she was slipping away too.

“Mama?” a voice whispered.

Kate looked up and saw Abby’s silhouette standing next to the couch.

“I wondered if you were sleeping,” Abby said. “I can’t.”

“Me, either. I’m wide awake. Come sit with me.”

Abby sat on the couch and snuggled up next to her.

“I’m so glad to be home,” Abby said.

“My head is still reeling at the thought of how close you came to dying. Gives me chills.”

Abby laid her head on Kate’s shoulder. “Mama … you haven’t asked me anything about Riley Jo.”

“I know.” Kate hid for a moment in the awkward silence that followed. How could she explain her behavior to Abby when she didn’t fully understand it herself? “The emotional roller coaster is overwhelming, honey. It’s all I can do to deal with your father’s murder. And frankly, I’m not sure if I can handle hearing about how cruel Isaiah was to her.”

“I understand. But Otha was really sweet. I could tell they had a good relationship.”

Kate blinked to clear her eyes. “That’s painful too, Abby. I had absolutely nothing to do with forming Riley Jo’s character or seeing her personality blossom. I’m glad Otha was good to her. But I’m just not ready to talk about it.”

“Okay. But Riley Jo’s really anxious to see you.”

“She said that?”

Abby nodded. “I think deep down she’s always known she didn’t belong there, even if she didn’t have words for it. She said she had an angel, Custos, that watched out for her.”

“Interesting choice of imaginary friends.”

“She told us she saw him once,” Abby said. “She’d fallen out of a weeping willow tree into a pond and was choking on water. The next thing she knew she was on the bank, and Custos was drying her off with his wings. He told her he was always watching out for her, even when she didn’t see him.”

“Obviously she imagined him,” Kate said. “If ever she needed rescuing, it was today. If this so-called angel was watching out for her, why didn’t he help her?”

“Maybe God wanted Hawk to do it.”

“Or maybe Hawk’s good instincts got him there first. Is Riley Jo churched?”

“I don’t think so. She said something about her granny Fay reading the Bible. But when I prayed out loud, she had no idea who I was talking to.” Abby turned and looked up at her mother. “I know you don’t believe God listened to our prayers. But how many times did we pray for angels to watch over her? Then when it sounds like they did, you try to explain it away?”

“I’m sorry, honey. It’s more likely that she created an imaginary friend to make her feel safe. I don’t mean to throw cold water on anything you believe. But you know I gave up relying on faith a long time ago.”

“I know. But I’m still praying for angels to watch over her and bring her home.”

God, I don’t know whether Abby’s right, but I’ll take any help I can get to bring my baby home.

Buck sat at a table at Flutter’s Café and set aside Saturday’s issue of the
Northwest Arkansas News.
He took a sip of coffee and looked up at Titus, who eyed him questioningly.

“I wonder why there’s no mention in the paper that the little girl’s gone missing,” Titus said.

“There will be. Must’ve missed the deadline for goin’ to press. It’s sure all over the TV.” Buck looked over the top of his glasses. “The authorities are still referrin’ to her as Ella Tutt. But from what Abby told us, this Isaiah Tutt admitted to killin’ Micah and stealin’ Riley Jo right on the spot. Of course, he’s denyin’ it to the sheriff, but the kids all heard him say it. Can’t see why he’d own up to doin’ somethin’ that low down if it wasn’t so. I’d appreciate it if you’d keep that between the both of us for now—till the authorities sort it out.”

“You know I will. Does the sheriff have
any
leads on who took the girl from the foster parents’ place?”

“Not that we’ve been told, but he’s questionin’ everyone who knew which foster parents had her. Someone spilled the beans. The state doesn’t make that information available to just anybody.”

Titus put his hand on Buck’s. “The sheriff will find her. I just know it.”

“Sure hope so. I’m prayin’ for it.” Buck took a sip of coffee to hide the emotion just under the surface. “I’ll tell you one thing, we’re blessed to have Abby home safe and sound.”

“I can tell you two are close.”

Buck smiled. “Always have been. We’ve done everything from fishin’, campin’, and white-water raftin’ to dance recitals, tea parties, and homework. I’ve tried to help fill the void of her daddy bein’ gone. I’ve done it with the boys, too. But I’ve got a soft spot for Abby. We’re just on the same page, if you get my drift.”

Savannah came over to their table, holding a round tray containing a platter of something that looked and smelled delicious. “Benson made another Cajun favorite for y’all. Brown sugar cinnamon buns. They’ll make your sweet tooth stand up and sing.”

“Sounds mighty tasty,” Buck said. “What’s that on top?”

“Cream cheese frosting—prepared with a little extra something that makes them uniquely Benson’s.” Savannah set the platter in the middle of the table and gave them each a plate and fork. “They’re still hot, so be careful.”