Not First Love (5 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Lawrence

BOOK: Not First Love
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He went to met Zilo at the cafe. He told him what Jan had said to him. Zilo shook his head reflectively, it was all true. Arthur wished he had told him this before Jan had but then Zilo didn’t know she would have turned up instead of Ron.

“She can’t stay there. It is not safe”, Arthur told him.

“Don’t let anything happen to her. I owe her as much as I owe you.”

“She is not my responsibility. When is Ron getting the money?”

“Anybody can guess.”

Arthur sighed. Zilo was confirming his fears. “Let her go, then.”

“If she would.”

“What do you mean?”

“She would keep her word and wouldn’t leave before the thirty day term, trust me.”

“This is bullshit.”

“No it isn’t. She is safe with you. More safe with you than she will be with Ron.”

Arthur almost raised his hands in despair. But Zilo was right. She was safer with him.

“I know it’s getting a bit tedious for you sitting there all day. Take a break. She is safe during the day. Maybe I will ask the delivery guy to sit there instead of you so you can take a break. Yes, that sounds good.”

Arthur got up and left the cafe. This wasn’t working out as he thought. He went to the supermarket and bought some stuff. Some common things that could be combined to make a mixture that would keep away a Bloodsucker around a perimeter. He was putting the things in the trunk when he thought of Claire. He called her up. She said she could meet him in half an hour.

She was waiting for him at the restaurant. As he entered she waved at him. He gave her a hug and the one she gave him back was tighter. He felt her pressing against his chest. Claire would always turn him on. They ate. After that, they went to her place.

Arthur and Claire stripped each other. Claire loved to have Arthur, he aroused her like no other man. His gentle touch and kiss would make her go mad with pleasure. He knew how to tease. She also knew if she wanted the pleasure to continue, she would ask him no questions. Where had he been, what does he do. He never asked her and so shouldn’t she. She forgot everything else when he felt his mouth on her breast and moaned with ecstasy.

Arthur had fallen asleep. He was exhausted. He had been trying hard to arouse himself.  It was easy to be satisfied with Claire, he always was. But not this time.

The body was here getting the pleasure but his mind wasn’t into it. The harder he tried the more unsatisfied he felt. Exhausted at last, he fell asleep. When he woke up, he felt a little empty. Whenever this happened, he knew it was over. It won’t work with Claire anymore. He dressed and woke her up. He kissed her on the forehead and told her he was leaving. Claire understood this meant he was leaving, her. But she didn’t stop him. She watched his handsome body. He was like the Prince Charming all girls wish for, but he belongs to only one girl. She already felt envious of whoever that was going to be.

When Arthur returned it was already late evening. He cursed himself for falling asleep at Claire’s and getting so late. He drove in and went inside to check on Jan. He put his laptop down and checked the screen. He saw Jan was sitting on the bed and she scribbled something in her diary. Everything looked as it was before he left. Unknown to Jan he had some traps set that would have told him if Jan had snooped around in his absence.

He went up to Jan’s room. He had started to think of the tower room as Jan’s room now. Jan seemed happy to see him back.

“How was your day? Got everything you needed?” she asked.

“Yes got everything.  What did you do?”

“I finished reading all the books. Then when the lunch came I went down. That guy is a real flirt. Then as you told me, I came back up and stayed in the room all this while. Were you able to get the ice-cream?”

“Shit.” He had forgotten. He wanted to buy it from the ice-cream shop instead of the supermarket but then he had started to think of Claire, called her and forgot all about the ice-cream.

“You forgot? It’s okay.”

“I am really sorry, I will go to town and get it for you tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it. It is alright. You don’t have to go just for the ice-cream. It is too much trouble,” she said genuinely.

Arthur felt horrible. He wanted to make her feel better after Ron’s conversation; he always felt Ron was irresponsible. But now he felt he was no better than him.

He told Jan that he wouldn’t lock Jan’s door from the outside. He trusted her. The smile that came on her face made him forget all disappointments. He went down to the hall, removed his clothes and entered the shower.

Jan hadn’t expected Arthur to remember the ice-cream. Life with Ron had taught her that the lesser she had expectations from someone, the more happy and un-hurt she would stay. So she did not get disappointed with Arthur. Actually she was pleasantly surprised when he had offered to get something for her. She was just a prisoner. When he said he would go the next day for her, she was moved. But when he told her he trusted her, she had to stop herself from hugging him.

She cannot hug him. Not even as just another human. Ron would be furious, he wouldn’t understand.

Ron called her late at night. Conversations with Ron were getting smaller. She had nothing new to say and he hardly made a good talk. Jan was getting impatient, she was waiting for Ron to pay off Zilo.  It was going to be two weeks now and he showed no concern. When she asked him about it, he always said he is working on it with his cousin. Ron told her not to remind her about the money. Today was Friday, and Ron just wanted forget everything and loosen up.

 

*****

 

Arthur left towards the town in the morning after handing her the breakfast. He didn’t tell Jan he was going to town. He would drive off, pick the ice-cream and come back quickly. He thought of giving her a surprise. But when he returned, he was surprised to find a car in the driveway. It was Ron’s.

He saw Ron peeking into the hall. It was locked from the outside and he was thinking if he should enter. Hearing Arthur’s car, he turned around.

“Arthur, how are you? Sorry I didn’t recognize you that day. You have a changed a lot. So what are you doing nowadays when you are not guarding people?”

“What are you doing here Ron? You got Zilo’s money?” Arthur asked gruffly.

“I am almost there, just a few thousand left. Zilo wants every dollar, not a dollar less. He is going stingy with his money. He inherits millions from his dad. He ought to be more generous. I will pay him every cent back very soon and get my girlfriend out of here. By the way, I came to meet her.”

“You can’t.”

“Hey she’s MY girlfriend. I can meet her whenever I want,” he said with a swagger.

“It’s not your rules here. If you try to be a smartass I will beat you up real bad Ron.” Arthur meant every word. Ron sensed it too. He measured Arthur, he was leaner, stronger and fitter. There was no way he could browbeat him. He put his hands on his pocket and pulled out a hundred dollars.

“Keep it Arthur, extra money always comes handy.”

The next moment Ron found himself on the ground kissing the dust. The punch had come so fast, he hardly had any time to react. Arthur knew how to land a punch, and how hard. He didn’t want Ron to get hurt, only get him warned. It had worked.

“Arthur, cool down, please. I only mean good to you. For old day’s sake,” he begged as Arthur bent and pulled him by his collar and got ready to for another blow if it came to it.

”I am just here because Jan had told me to come.”

Arthur stopped, did Jan really tell him? He hadn’t noticed their conversation last night. He didn’t trust Ron’s words. But what if Jan had really wanted to meet him?

“I can only let you meet her if Zilo says yes. Call him up.”

Ron called Zilo and told him Jan had wanted to meet him and told him to come. But Arthur wouldn’t let him unless he allowed. He gave the phone to Arthur and he spoke to Zilo.

“You got 10 minutes only, Ron.” Arthur handed the phone back and went inside. Ron followed him and Arthur showed him the stairway.

Arthur showed Ron the way up and Arthur came and sat in front of the screen. Jan was combing her hair.

The door opened and Ron entered.

Jan saw the door opening without any knock. Arthur didn’t do so. She gasped in surprise when she saw Ron. She ran and put her arms around him.

“Ron, what are you doing here? Did you get the money? You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

Ron hushed her and looked back at the door. There was no one there. He shut the door. It was clear to Arthur that he used Jan to get through both Zilo and him.  

“I wanted to give you a surprise. “ Ron pulled her closer and took her mouth in his.

Arthur wanted to take his attention away from the screen. Jan’s voice brought his attention back. She was wanting to talk to Ron, see how he was. She stopped Ron from kissing again and looked at his face.

“Ron, I miss you. When am I getting out of here?”

“I miss you too darling,” and pulled her close again. He started to run his hands all over her body.               

“Ron!” Jan wanted to stop him. This wasn’t the right time or the right place. She didn’t feel like it.

“I love you”, Ron said.

“I love you too. How are you? It has been so difficult to stay away from you. Did you miss me?

But Ron wasn’t answering. He was squeezing her body.

“Listen to me Ron...”

But he had put her on the bed.

“Ron!”

“Yes?” and pushed his body on hers.

“No.”

But he seemed oblivious.

“Not now.”

He had started to unbutton her.

“Stop it! There is a camera.” Jan shouted.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me before?” Ron was louder.

“I was trying to tell you but you weren’t listening to me,” Jan defended herself. She couldn’t believe Ron.

“You are acting like a bitch. Button yourself up first and then talk. ”

Arthur had enough. He went up and barged in.

“Time’s up Ron. “

“You said ten minutes.”

“I said time’s up,” Arthur was feeling a rage building inside him. “Come again when you have the money.”

Ron saw Arthur was really meaning it. He turned at Jan and said, “I will come and get you soon Jan. Love you honey.”

Jan didn’t look up, she was more aware of Arthur’s eyes on her. Ron waited for a reply but Arthur showed him the door.

Ron left without a word. Arthur shut Jan’s door behind them.

Arthur came back to the sofa. He was still trying to calm down. He looked at the screen. Jan had never looked so defeated. He wanted to go up to her and tell that she doesn’t have to feel that way. Maybe he should take the ice cream to her.

The ice cream! He had forgotten it in the car when he had seen Ron. He rushed to the car and got the container out. He rushed to the freezer and put it there. Now he had to wait for it to get frozen again.

When the lunch came he carried it to her. She was deadly quiet.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah I am fine,” she nodded and said. But he noticed that she kept her eyes down.

“I hope you didn’t mind my barging in and disturbing your privacy.” Jan didn’t look at him.

“Some boyfriend you have Jan.” He wanted her to look at him.

“I don’t want to talk about it Arthur. Please leave me alone.”

He left. He went down and looked at the screen again. He wanted to teach Ron a lesson so he doesn’t behave with Jan like that, again. He wondered how he could do that. Ron would have to pay the money within the fortnight and Jan would be gone.

He looked at the screen. Jan hadn’t touched the food. Neither did he.

He heard a ping on his laptop. It was a message from the Others. Reading the message, he felt alarmed. His mind began to race and draw permutations. He remembered the Oriental word he had come across. He searched Google but again he found thousands of search results. He did not know which one would apply to his present situation. He spent the next hour searching for the information but the results were still unclear. He was just not able to make the connection.

 

 

FOUR

 

Arthur took out the ice-cream and checked that it had frozen. He looked for a spoon and found one. He went up to Jan’s room. Jan smiled at him when he entered. If she was still upset, she didn’t show it.

“I got your ice-cream.”

“Arthur, you didn’t have to!”

Arthur gave her the ice-cream box and the spoon.

Jan smiled at him. It was the loveliest smile he had ever seen on her face. She opened the box and dug the spoon into it.  Arthur watched her eat.

“It has lots of chocolate chips. Perfect for me. Thank you.” Jan smiled at him.

“You look good when you smile,” Arthur told her. Jan blushed.

“Your turn,” she gave the ice cream to him. Arthur declined.

“Come on, researchers say chocolate is good for your health and ice-cream is good for beating heat,” she joked. She took a scoop and gave it to Arthur. “Plus I don’t want to give you a chance of complaining to Zilo that I ate all the ice-cream.”

Arthur smiled. She looked happy. It was so easy to make her happy, why didn’t Ron do so? He took the spoon from her; yes it was good ice-cream. He felt proud he got really good ice-cream for Jan. They both finished it within fifteen minutes.

“This is how satisfaction tastes like!” Jan mused. “And this is how you also get fat.”

“Are you worried about getting fat? That is why you wear your clothes looser, so that you don’t have to buy new ones.” Arthur teased her.

“I don’t wear loose clothes, it’s just modest.” Jan defended. “Actually you noticed it right, I do.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows, “Don’t tell me Ron told you too. “

She nodded sheepishly.  

“Why is that?”

“He says by wearing it looser he wants me to look ‘modest”. He wants that people think his girlfriend is ‘a nice girl’ or whatever that means.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“No! I tried to tell him that would look unattractive. He said these things don’t matter in the bedroom, you know what that means right? I can’t believe I am telling you all this. “

“Your boyfriend is some insecure guy.”

“No, Ron is not. Why do you say that?”

“Well, look at him. He wants you all for himself. But he is not confident of himself. He wants you to wear unattractive clothes so other guys don’t give you the attention. He cannot connect to you emotionally so he makes it up for sex. He is such a jerk that he would keep his girlfriend as a pawn. And he has no qualms in using her to manipulate other men. “

Jan looked at Arthur. It was the bitter truth, there was no use denying him. Arthur did read people well.

“You are right. But it is also true that I love him. I try to overlook his imperfections.” She paused.

“He is my first love. It’s special. I cannot love any other man like him. I feel like I belong to him heart and soul.”

“That’s so stupid.”

“You wouldn’t understand. Who was your first love?”

Arthur paused. He had to remember.

“I have slept with many women but did not get emotionally involved with any.”

“How can you do that? That’s heartless.”

“No, it isn’t exactly as bad as you think it is.”

“I don’t understand how could you have sex with someone you hardly know?”

“It is easy. Just look for the sex and ask no questions.”

“Arthur, this is sick.”

“I don’t think so. It has always suited me.”

“How the hell can it suit someone?” Jane was persistent.

“It suits because I can’t afford a relationship with the work I do.”

“What work?”

Arthur had let it slip. But now he wished he didn’t.

“What work, Arthur?”

“Oh this. Guarding someone twenty four-seven. I should go down now.” Arthur turned to go. It was evening. He had to check his laptop for updates.

Jan held his wrist. “Wait.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Arthur looked back.

“I told you Jan.”

“You never speak of yourself. I have told you everything about me,” Jan was still holding his hand.

“Okay what do you want to know?” Arthur returned to the chair.

Jan looked at him at said innocently, “Everything.”

Arthur weighed the situation. If he told her about himself she wouldn’t believe it. But looking at Jan, she looking at him with her wide beautiful eyes, he didn’t want to lie to her.

Jan waited for Arthur to speak. She was excited, as if she was waiting for a great adventure to begin. His eyes were a shade of green, and she liked the way he looked at her. His eyes were always alert but she felt that there was an ocean of compassion behind those eyes.  

Her eyes went to his neck and she admired the shape of the muscles. She noticed herself admiring his collar bones and chest that showed through the t-shirt and felt her desiring to see more of it. Cutting off the thoughts, she brought her attention back. But a feeling was rising from just below her navel. It was a desire, for that masculine touch. It threatened to rise above and make her lose her control. She got up and looked outside the window.

Arthur saw darkness was settling outside. First things first, he needed to secure the place. He cannot afford to take chances with a Bloodsucker. He will tell his story tomorrow.

“I have some work to do Jan. But I promise I will tell you tomorrow.”

Jan nodded, she felt relieved that he was leaving.  The feeling was getting stronger and she was starting to feel pleasure spread in her body. She shouldn’t be feeling this way, she thought, not in his presence.

Arthur went down and locked the windows. Using the things he had bought in the supermarket, he had made a bluish liquid. He sprayed it around the perimeter. It would dry clear but if a Bloodsucker crossed it, it would make a gray patch. It could do much more badly to a Bloodsucker if it was directly sprayed on it.

Arthur checked the laptop. He calculated the Bloodsucker’s trail by permutations. If his calculations were correct, it wouldn’t be long before he met one. He just wished Jan would be out of here by then.

The last time Arthur fought with a Bloodsucker was four years ago. He had saved Zilo then.  They are too strong for a human. They can sense a man’s fear and it makes them stronger. So the more it hunts, the more it scares, the stronger it becomes. Arthur needed to hone his fighting skills. He got the knife out of the sheath. Taking off his t-shirt, he practiced the moves. He needed to build more strength in the arms. He would have to strike a Bloodsucker swiftly and hard so that the knife would cut hard and fast through his body. The lesser strikes you made, the better were your survival chances. An injured Bloodsucker was worse, the pain of injury made it very aggressive. Either it survived or you. The only other weapon which worked then other than the iron knife was your courage.

After two hours of practice, he decided to end it with push-ups. As he got ready, the doorbell rang. It was the delivery boy bringing dinner. Arthur was sweating profusely. He went out bare chested and felt cooler outside. There was a light wind.

Patrick had been delivering the food everyday thrice. He worked at one of many Zilo’s cafes in town. He didn’t remember that, but Patrick said he did remember him. He had served him once when he had dined with Zilo there. Arthur dined with people rarely, he was more used to staying alone. If he ever was with Zilo in the cafe, Zilo must have called to discuss a ‘job’.

Patrick came and handed him the packets. Patrick loved to talk, a lot. He looked at Arthur and said, “You have a great body man. How long do you work out every day?”

Arthur looked at Patrick’s belly which was starting to widen on all sides. “I will tell when you promise to start doing your workout.” He would jokingly call him Potbellied Patrick and Patrick would proudly reply that chicks love men of his type. He would go on to tell Arthur who was the hottest girl to come to the cafe and which of the waitresses he slept with last night.

“Hey doesn’t sex come under exercise? I would never miss a day without exercise then.”

“Everybody would do so if they had your motivation, Patrick.” Arthur laughed.

“Don’t laugh at me. If I had your motivation, I would have exercised like you.”

“What about my motivation?” Arthur asked.

“Your girlfriend.”

“My girlfriend!”

“Don’t mind me saying this man, she is pretty. If she wasn’t your girlfriend, I would have died to get a date with her. I just met her once and I knew she was something.”

Arthur remembered Jan meeting Patrick the day he went to town. She had told him that Patrick knew how to flirt.

“You dared to flirt with my girlfriend?”

Patrick looked embarrassed. He didn’t deny. “It’s in the flesh. But you know what; you two would look great together. Perfect. See you tomorrow.” He hurriedly gave thumbs up and left to avoid the conversation.

“My girlfriend”, he had called Jan his girlfriend.

Closing the door behind him, he grabbed his t-shirt. Slipping it on, he went and gave to food to Jan.

“Do you have some cold water in the freezer? It’s getting hotter.”Jan asked.

“I think so. You may come down and get it from the freezer whenever you need. I know by now you are not going to run away.” Arthur told her with a smile.

She smiled back. “That is very kind of you, King Arthur.”

Arthur left smiling to himself. He went down and got ready for the push ups. He took off his t-shirt again and started to work out. After a hundred, he was all wet with his own sweat.  He took off his jeans and underwear and as was his habit, flung it on the sofa. He took his towel and wrapped it around his waist. He was still panting. The drops of sweat trickled from his head to his body. He opened the freezer and looked for the cold water.  He took a bottle out, there were a few more. After Jan has used these, he would get more bottles in.

Arthur heard footsteps. His senses got alarmed. He scanned the nearest thing he could use as a weapon. He saw a kitchen knife nearby. As he turned, he moved closer to it and picked it up.

“Jan!”

Of course it is Jan, Arthur thought. He had told her to come here and take the cold water.

Jan was surprised. She hadn’t spotted Arthur before. The freezer door was open and as he had bent to see inside it, he couldn’t be spotted from where Jan came. 

“I came for the cold water”, Jan replied nonchalantly. But her heart was beating fast. Arthur was standing there wrapped in a towel, all sweating. She had not seen a more enchanting male body. His body had the V shape that she had seen in the magazines. But this was a hundred times more attractive. He wasn’t the fully shaved metro sexual type. There was body hair in the right places in the right way. Her eyes followed a sweat as it trickled from his chest and disappeared into his navel. His towel was tied a bit low.

Arthur handed her a bottle of cold water. As she took the bottle, her hand touched his. She took the bottle and turned abruptly. She walked out of the hall and ran into her room.

Arthur was left wondering if he has impressed or embarrassed her.

Jan sat on her bed with the bottle on her lap. The drops of water that had started to form on the cold bottle were wetting her dress. She let it happen. She opened the bottle and drank from it. Some of it fell on her. Some of it found its way sliding through the neck and on to her chest. She felt the drops slip their way through her cleavage like a lover’s tongue. That warm feeling was building under her navel, stronger than before. She closed her eyes and all that could come to her mind was the drop of sweat entering Arthur’s navel. The feeling that was coming over her was too pleasurable. She hadn’t felt like this before.

Her mind told her to stop thinking of Arthur. She got up and switched off the lights and jumped on her bed. She pulled the sheets over herself and started to undress under it. The door was open, her mind said, Arthur might come in. But thought of Arthur only made it stronger, and while removing the last piece of clothing from her body, a wave of ecstasy went through her. Her body bent with pleasure and her mind went blank. She was wet. She tried to think of Ron, how Ron would her mouth into his and move his hand on her body. But instead of Ron she saw Arthur. She lost all control and surrendered herself to the fantasies.

Arthur took his shower and came out. He let the body drip the water and dry. He knew Jan wouldn’t come down again. Although he secretly wished she did.

 

*****

 

When Jan woke up next morning, she wondered for some time if last night was real. She felt relieved when she recalled that it was just fantasy. She felt guilty, it was not fair to Ron. She should not think of any other man than Ron. Now it was day, the light was coming in from the window and she was naked on her bed, under a sheet and the camera was running. What would Arthur think of her if he saw her like this?

She covered herself with the sheet and carried off her clothes to the bathroom. She swore she wouldn’t let this happen again. Ron would kill her if he knew she was thinking of any other man. Thinking of Ron, she remembered he hadn’t called last night. She noted that his calls were getting fewer and she wasn’t missing it much. This wasn’t good for their relationship. She had to try to rekindle it.

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