Not Forgotten (6 page)

Chapter 5

Matt watched as Natalie walked down the long corridor towards him. She was dressed in a form fitting canary yellow A-line skirt that came to just above her knees. Her silk blouse was a peach colour that brought attention to her high breasts, the top few buttons undone. When she moved he caught a glimpse of her lacy bra underneath. Her brunette hair was pulled tight off her face and pinned to her head in a tight chignon, the same as the day before. As she drew closer, he saw her long curved eyelashes were coated with mascara. She wore no eye shadow but her eyeliner highlighted the startling deep blue of her eyes. Her full lips shined with a light pink gloss.

He realised he was staring at her when she raised one delicate eyebrow as she stopped in front of him and he didn’t move. She was wearing heels—another pair of sexy stilettos, this time in a pale pink—but still stood several inches shorter than him. She smiled up at him and his heart started to pound.
Jesus
, he thought. The woman only had to smile to send him into a coronary. Matt couldn’t believe his heart was fluttering over something as simple and non-sexual as a smile.

I’m acting like a sex deprived teenager.

Matt mentally shook his head to clear it. He had to get a grip on himself before he did something stupid.

“You haven’t been out much lately, have you, Detective?” she asked, her tone teasing him.

“Why would you say that?” he croaked. Surely he wasn’t that transparent and resisted the urge to look down to make sure nothing was protruding, announcing to the world his need for womanly companionship.

“Well, let’s see. You’re very rusty with subtly if the once over you just gave me is any indication. You’re as bad as my teenage patient.” She shook her head and smiled ruefully.

Matt glanced away from her. “Let’s just say I’ve been preoccupied.”

Natalie nodded. “Well, you may need to make a little ‘you’ time.”

Matt could feel the embarrassing blush rise from the collar of his dress shirt.
If only she knew just how much me time I’ve had lately
, he thought. Maybe if he told her the numbers she might be sympathetic. Images of satin sheets and naked skin flashed in his mind. Good God, was she right? Had he reverted back to being a teenager who has just discovered sex? He hoped not, because those years were the worst in his entire life.

“You may be right, Doc. You ready to meet your patient?” he asked, prepared to move along to why they were both here. He watched as she raised herself to her full height and looked at him. He saw confidence in her steady gaze and was comforted by it.

“I am. But before we go inside I would like to ask for the police file on the Walker double homicide. The information in the hospital file is limited. I want to understand more of what Hallie experienced. To see what she saw. Can you make that happen?”

He frowned. He knew what was in those files and the idea of Doctor Miller reading them had all his male protective instincts rearing up.

“I can but is this really something you need to do? Those photos aren’t for general viewing. It can give you nightmares if you let it. I wouldn’t recommend them for light reading.”

“Your concern is noted, Detective. But I can hardly be expected to help someone with whom I can’t empathise. Please allow me access to the file.”

Matt let out a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. He noted Natalie following the motion and wished he’d had time to have his hair cut. With his free hand he retrieved his mobile from his pocket and hit a speed dial.

“Donovan,” was the almost instant answer.

“Hey, it’s Murphy. I want you to get a copy of the Walker file over to Doctor Miller’s office as soon as you can,” he told her.

“Oh, so now I’m your secretary?” was Amelia’s huffy reply.

Matt imagined her eyes narrowing and her back stiffening. Damn, she could be so prickly at times.

“Just do it, Donovan, and don’t argue. You can take it out of my hide later.”

“With great pleasure, Murphy, I assure you,” Amelia purred and he already felt the bruises. “I’ll have it couriered over.”

“Thanks.” He hung up and said to Natalie, “It’s on its way.”

“I appreciate it. I hope I didn’t get you into trouble with your colleague?”

He grinned. “No, Donovan’s bark is worse than her bite. She just doesn’t like being treated like a woman.”

“Really? I kind of enjoy it, on the rare occasion. Although I can see how in her career it can be difficult.”

“It’s more difficult on us than it is on her, I assure you. Shall we begin the interview?”

He motioned for her to precede him as he opened the door to the interview room. He followed her into the small, almost claustrophobic room that gave him the chills. Matt had seen more accommodating cells. The walls were covered with a soft white protective padding and the room was sparsely furnished with only one rectangle table in the centre and three chairs. Two had been placed side by side opposite the third which was currently occupied.

Hallie Walker sat quietly at the table, her hands neatly clasped together in front of her. She was a delicate girl, the table almost swallowing her up as she stared sightlessly at the wall. Her red-brown hair was pulled back into a severe ponytail and she was dressed in the blue uniform of the hospital.

Matt’s heart sank. She had been his last hope. Every other avenue had run dry. He tried to think of what this meant to the case but all he could see in his head was twelve-year-old Hallie—feisty, determined to live and get justice for her parents. He had wanted better for the girl and felt responsible for not making more of an effort to see her over the years. Maybe he could’ve done something to help prevent this.

“Maybe we should—” He started to tell Natalie they should just forget about it when he was interrupted by a feminine voice not belonging to the woman beside him.

“You must be my new psychologist,” Hallie said, before turning her head. Her shrewd amber eyes assessed Natalie before they moved over to him. She gave him a quick look and seemed to discount him as unimportant.

He was extremely relieved. He looked over at the waif of a girl, who had not quite grown into her teenager body. She was too thin, her skin much too pale and her eyes full of pain and internal suffering. If there was anyone in need of help it was Hallie Walker.

Natalie stepped forward. “I am. Natalie Miller. This is Detective Matt Murphy.”

“I remember,” Hallie said coolly as he took the seat beside Natalie. “Unfortunately I haven’t been lucky enough to get amnesia and all the drugs in the world can’t make me forget, Detective. You were younger then.”

“As were you,” he added.

“But never young again,” she said sadly. “It’s amazing at the things you take for granted until they’re all gone. What your life revolved around once ceases to exist now. What once seemed important isn’t even a blip on the radar.”

She glanced at each of them in turn. “But you’re not here to talk about philosophy.” Her voice hardened. “Let me save you some time. You’re leaving with nothing. I told you all that I know five years ago. I did my part and now I’m done.”

She pushed back her chair and rose.

Matt felt like a prick for asking her to do something she clearly didn’t want to do and worried about her mental stability. He hated the pain he saw plainly on her face. He wished he could’ve seen her in the light. Back in the days before her life came crashing down around her. She fascinated him, he admitted to himself. Haunted him with her serious amber eyes. He had seen the strength and intelligence in her when she was most vulnerable and no amount of time had ever erased that sight.

“Hallie—” Matt started but stopped when Natalie touched his arm.

“I understand this is difficult for you, Hallie—”

“You know shit, lady,” Hallie interrupted.

***

Hallie spat venom at the woman whose honest and caring blue eyes watched her carefully. She didn’t want her to care, didn’t want her to be nice because it would only hurt her when Doctor Miller decided to leave. And she would leave her. They all did. It was just a matter of time.

For years she had battled against the nightmares and the only thing that kept those at bay were the drugs. Hallie didn’t want to live the little life she had in a drug filled haze and as much as it hurt her to think of her parents, she would rather remember them than not to think of them at all. For five years she had been haunted by that night and the worst of it was that everything was a blur. Nothing retained any detail in her mind except for the fear and cold and desperation she had felt. That night was a private moment—the last time she had seen her parents alive and happy. Call her selfish but it was no one’s damn business what she had experienced and how she felt about it.

“I know you hate me right now…hate us,” Natalie told her. “And you have every right to, Hallie. When something hurts us, the last thing we want is to share that pain. I know that since arriving here you haven’t once discussed the events that led to you being at Paradise Valley.”

“And I don’t intend to start now.”

“Your insight—” Natalie persisted.

“What is with you people?” she demanded. “You’re all goddamn ghouls. Why must I relive that night just to entertain you? Do you think it’s easy for me? Because it’s not, it’s hard. It’s not someone’s imagination. It was real. Lives were taken and blood was spilt. My parents’ blood.” She emphasised the pointed by jabbing an index finger into her chest. “It’s bad enough I have to live through it every night but during the day too? No fucking way.”

“Watch your mouth, kid,” Matt warned.

Hallie sent him a cold, hard glare. “Or what, Detective? What could you possibly do to me? Look around, this is my life and will be until that son-of-a-bitch is caught or killed. Either way, I don’t care.”

Her bottom lip quivered and she fought to keep the tears at bay.

“You have a right to be angry, Hallie,” Matt told her. “Believe me, I would be pissed too, but I’d also be looking for revenge. The girl I met once long ago was a fighter. Where did she go?”

“The Butcher killed her and left her to rot deep inside. I’ve been alone too long, spent too much time inside my memories dying just a little more every day.” She moved to face the wall and stood staring at it with the same intensity she had when they’d first arrived. “Why now, Detective? You’ve had five years to catch him and nothing. What do you possibly think I could know now that I didn’t know back then?”

“Perceptions change. You’re older now. I had to take this chance,” Matt told her.

“He’s back, isn’t he? Killing more innocent people. Who was she?” Hallie asked as she turned back to face Matt and Natalie.

“Her name was Marie Stanton. She was twenty-seven,” Matt answered.

“Only ten years older than I am,” she said, her voice filled with unshed tears. “You know what’s funny—not funny ha-ha, but funny strange? I can’t remember the scent of my mother’s perfume but I can’t forget
his
smell. Every time I close my eyes I can smell that putrid stink as if he was in the room with me.”

Natalie shuddered. “That’s because scent is one of the most powerful memory triggers. I can only imagine what you must have seen and felt. You were a brave girl.”

“I was lucky.”

Hallie closed her eyes and immediately her father’s Fairlane materialised in her vision. The beefy car pristine, her father having washed it the weekend before. She watched as her father took his place behind the wheel, her mother climbing in beside him. She couldn’t do a thing to change the events she knew were coming but her body ached with the need. Feeling useless—impotent—she made fists with her hands. Her mind rebelled at the memory as it always did but she fought it with all her might. It was the one memory of her parents that stayed with her. She had forgotten the rest.

She had been petulant all day, often complaining about being with them and not at home or at a friend’s place. She hated the constant travelling that had been part and parcel of her father’s career. She remembered giving her parents hell. She had wanted to be treated like an adult, to be left at home like normal children and had shown her parents her displeasure. Not in front of the cameras or the reporters that had hounded her, but when they were alone she never failed to sulk.

She shivered in response to the memory of the cold air. Tears fell from her eyes and she impatiently swiped them away. Her body shook as the memory swamped her, causing her to feel the pain, the breathlessness—the horror—and she lashed out, screaming incoherently and throwing her body into the wall as it all became too much. Her brain felt as if it was on fire. She felt strong arms wrap around her protesting body and draw her none too gently into a hard chest as her flailing arms were restrained.

“Hallie? Hallie, calm down. You’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you except yourself if you don’t calm down,” Natalie told her as she stroked Hallie’s hair. “I know it’s hard for you to relive that part of your past. The pain. The anger you must feel. The guilt you must bear. But you must believe there was nothing you could do except survive.”