Not Quite Mine (Not Quite series) (34 page)

Katie drew in a deep breath and looked at her dad and her brother. “Can we see her?”

“Of course.”

Valerie stood and the rest of them followed.

The short walk through the department felt like a mile. Every doorway they passed held another patient. All of them were lying in hospital beds surrounded by machines. A series of
beeps
and
dings
was a constant reminder that lives hung in the balance. Nurses and doctors walked around them, nearly ignoring them. The professionals in this department couldn’t be influenced by their position, their wealth, the Morrison name. They didn’t part the way like those outside the ICU doors. This was a place where any and all of them could end up and it seemed everyone here knew that.

Valerie paused outside a door and turned to the three of them. “There is a machine helping her breathe, lots of tubes going into her, coming out of her. She’s pretty bruised up with a cut on her forehead.”

Why was it the closer she came to seeing her mother the worse she felt? On the plane on the way to Florida, Katie couldn’t have cared less, or so she kept telling herself. Now, standing outside a room that only emitted the sound of equipment, Katie felt her throat clog and her eyes start to fill. She reached for the emotionless state she’d managed for years when she thought of her mother and couldn’t find it.

Valerie walked into the room and opened the curtain.

Annette lay still on the bed. The ventilator made a hissing noise with each breath she made. A tube protruded from her throat at an awkward angle.

“Damn,” her father muttered under his breath.

“Oh, shit,” Jack whispered.

“Hey, Annette. Your family is here.” Valerie walked into the room as if Annette were awake.

Annette didn’t twitch, didn’t blink. The only indication that she was alive was the consistent beep of the machine monitoring her heart rate and the hum of another that worked for her damaged lungs.

Katie’s eyes swelled and tears started silently falling.

The three of them sat around the room and watched the slow rise and fall of Annette’s chest.

Hours later, Katie stood outside the hospital with her cell phone cradled to her ear.

“I hate feeling like this, Monica.”

“Yeah…I know. It’s hard. My mom makes me crazy as hell but I wouldn’t handle her being jacked up and in the ICU either.”

It felt good talking to Monica. She answered questions that only she could.

Her mother was critically stable…whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. According to Monica, it meant she had a snowball’s
chance but every hour and day made the snowball bigger and the temperature in hell drop. She had a chance.

“She’s so small. I remember her being so much larger.”

“She’s older,” Monica reminded her. “And you were a kid the last time you saw her.”

“She’s so helpless.”

“What did the doctor say?”

“Broken ribs…messed up lungs, spleen ruptured. I don’t know…bunch of crap I didn’t understand.” Katie waved her hand in front of her face to find some relief from the heat.

“What about the nurse, what did she say?”

“She’s hopeful.”

Monica paused. “Good. Your mom has a chance, then.”

“Really? I mean…that’s good. God, I shouldn’t care.” Katie hated that she did.

“Yeah…but you do. It’s OK. I’d probably feel exactly like you if something happened to my dad and I knew about it. Hell, I don’t even know if he’s alive or dead.”

“That might be better.”

“I don’t know, Katie. Listen, I’d be happy to talk to the nurse, get a grip on what’s going on, if you want.”

“Would you?” Not that Katie thought Valerie was keeping anything from her, but it would be nice hearing something from someone who knew more than she did.

“You’ll have to tell the nurse she can talk to me. All those HIPAA laws keep lips sealed in hospitals.”

“OK. I’ll let her know you’ll call.”

Katie gave Monica the number to the ICU and hung up.

She placed a call to Dean but it ended up on voice mail. She lied and told him she was fine and that she’d call him later.

Later didn’t come for several hours.

Considering the fact that Katie had no desire to see her mother a week ago, she was disturbed by her desire to stay close to the hospital now. Her internal debate as to why fought inside her mind when she walked down the now familiar path to the ICU from the hospital cafeteria.

The nurses weren’t strict with the visiting hour rules. Some families were forced to stay out of a patient’s room so the nurses could work. Since Annette was in a medically induced coma, there was no need to make any of the Morrisons stay away.

Jack and Gaylord had left the hospital about an hour before to grab a bite to eat.

Valerie walked into the room with an IV bag in her hand. “How are you holding up?” she asked.

Katie glanced at her mother from across the room and shrugged. “We weren’t close.”

Valerie went about her task. “Your friend Monica told me that.”

Monica had been great. She explained things in a way that made sense. She kept her explanations free of a bunch of medical terms that no one but those who worked in a hospital understood, and got down to the facts.

“I’m sure it’s still hard seeing your mother like this.”

Katie sipped her cooling coffee. “I haven’t seen her like anything in a very long time.”

“Hey, Valerie?” one of the other nurses called from the desk adjacent from the room.

“Yeah?”

“Mrs. Morrison has another visitor.”

“No problem.” Valerie stepped out of the room and Katie waited for her brother and father’s return.

A petite woman walked to the door of the room and gasped when she looked at the bed. “Oh, Annie.”

Katie waited for the woman to realize she was there before she said anything. The visitor’s tearful gaze found hers and she gasped a second time.

“Oh, my, you must be Katelyn.”

“You have me at a disadvantage,” Katie said.

“I’m Tina, a friend of your…of Annie’s.” The woman’s hesitation in calling Annie her mother didn’t go unnoticed.

“I didn’t know she went by Annie,” Katie said, making conversation with the stranger.

The woman moved farther into the room and placed a hand on the side of the bed. “She hates Annette. Says it makes her feel old.”

Tina pulled a chair closer to the bed and stroked her mother’s hand. “You’re not looking too young right now, are you, Annie?” she whispered, obviously upset.

Seeing someone holding her mother’s hand and talking softly reminded Katie of just how removed she was from her mother. “You’ve known her for a while?” Katie asked, hoping the woman would paint some kind of picture of the person her mother was.

“At least five years now. We met at the club.”

“The club?”

“A health club. Well, you know, a place for a little exercise and plenty of play.”

OK, so her mother wasn’t completely without funds.

“I’m sorry to say this, but I’m surprised to see you here.”

“Annette still has my father on an emergency contact list.”

Tina opened her mouth, closed it. “Oh.”

If Tina was shocked to see her, perhaps she shouldn’t be here.

“Maybe I should go,” Katie said suddenly feeling out of place.

“No. Please, I’m sorry I said that. I’m sure Annie would want to see you when she wakes up.”

“Really? I’m not so sure. She’s not tried to see me in years.”

Tina shook her head. “She saw you every time your picture ended up in a paper.”

Great, so her mother followed the tabloid crap. “Not the same.”

“No. I’m sure it’s not.”

Katie’s gaze skirted to her mother and then out the window. “She told my brother and me that she was living in Europe. Sent Christmas cards from there. Do you have any idea why she did that?”

“No. I thought perhaps all of you had a falling out. I knew about you and Jack…it is Jack, right?”

“Yes.”

“But she didn’t elaborate as to why she had little to do with you.”

“Nothing! She’s had
nothing
to do with us. My brother was married two months ago. She sent a gift and a card.” Reminding herself of her mother’s behavior brought back the anger she’d felt on the plane. The room started feeling a little smaller and the desire for fresh air became a need.

“She’s not a bad person, Katelyn. She might have been a terrible mother, but not everyone is built to nurture others.”

“Then why have us in the first place?”

Tina offered a sympathetic smile. “You’ll have to ask her that.”

Katie stood and grasped the handle of her purse. “Not an option right now, is it?” She knew her anger was misguided toward the woman in the room, but it didn’t stop her from snapping. Katie hated that this stranger, this woman who had a good ten years on her mother, knew more about Annette than she did.

It pissed her off that her mother waited until something awful happened to remember she had children.

“I should go,” Tina said.

“No. I’m going. Please ask the nurse to call me if anything changes.”

Katie left the room and the unit in a rush.

Built to nurture others!

Could it be that simple? Could it be that Annette, no Annie, just didn’t want to be a mom?

The suffocating heat hit her as she exited the hospital and started walking.

She found a coffeehouse, ordered an iced tea, and dialed Dean. She was never so thankful to have him pick up.

“Hey, darlin’,” his voice was low, concern for her poured through the phone.

“I need you to talk me down,” she told him.

“Oh, no…what happened?”

She relayed the short conversation with Tina and did her best to explain how torn she was about the entire ordeal. “If it wasn’t for Jack and my dad, I’d get the hell out of here right now.
Built to nurture others!
Can you believe she said that? Thinks that?”

“What bothers you more, Katie, the fact she said it or that you already knew it to be true?”

“Both! It’s just so infuriating, Dean.”

“I know, darlin’. Do you want me to fly out?”

“No. I’m all right. The nurse said they were going to take her off the ventilator and wake her up slowly tomorrow morning. Then maybe she can tell me herself that she could give a shit about us and I can leave.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Do me a favor, Katie. Don’t let her have the power to make you this upset.”

Katie watched a woman walk by pushing a stroller and drew in a deep breath. “I’m trying. I was doing great until Tina showed up. Let’s talk about something else. How’s Savannah?”

“She’s a pooping machine, this little girl.”

Katie smiled, finding her happy place. “Keeping you busy with diapers I take it?”

“Oh, yeah. She loves being naked.”

She laughed. “We’re going to have to work that out of her.”

“We’ll have a few years to worry about that.”

We?
She liked the sound of that. With all the high drama she’d nearly forgotten about her recent conversation with Patrick. Maybe Maggie wasn’t a nurturing mother either?

Maybe Maggie would have ended up abandoning Savannah later in life and screwing her up in the process.

Then Dean would have been a single father…like hers.

“She’s easy to love, isn’t she?”

“You can say that again.”

Her phone beeped in her ear. She pulled it away and noticed her brother’s number. “Looks like Jack is looking for me. I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving the hospital.”

“All right, darlin’. Everything’s good here. Call when you get a minute.”

“Thanks again, Dean.”