Not Quite Perfect (26 page)

‘Richard came round and declared his feelings for me.’

‘So?’

‘Martin was there.’

‘Oh. Sounds like something from one of your poncey novels. Did he challenge him to a duel?’

Emma looks at her sister in surprise. It’s as if she’s found the final piece of the million-piece jigsaw that is Richard Bennett. Emma shakes her head at the revelation.

‘You’re right. It was like the plot of a bloody novel and I’m the flawed heroine falling for it like an idiot.’

‘Oh, don’t be too hard on yourself. Happens to the best of us,’ declares Rachel.

‘Oh yes. So what happened to you then? Who turned your head?’

Rachel looks ashamed. ‘My next door neighbour.’

‘Tasty Tom?’

Rachel smiles. ‘The very same.’

‘Well, I don’t blame you but at least nothing happened, right?’

‘Of course not,’ says Rachel a little too quickly.

‘Rachel?’

‘We had a moment. Nothing happened. We kissed,’ says Rachel. ‘I sort of thought Steve was having an affair.’

‘Steve? Are you sure? I can’t think of anyone less likely to be unfaithful than Steve,’ says Emma.

It’s Rachel’s turn for an epiphany. ‘Yeah, I know. I guess Dad was right. Sometimes you can’t see what you’ve got.’

‘Until it’s gone? Well, it looks as if we’ve both fucked things up, doesn’t it?’

‘Certainly does, little sis, but I fully intend to sort out my mess. What about you?’

‘Dunno. I can’t think about it now. Mum needs us and we’ve got stuff to do. I’ve made a list. Let’s crack on shall we?’

Rachel puts her arm round her sister. ‘OK, but you can phone Rosie.’

‘Deal. You can phone Granny Liz.’

Rachel screws up her face. ‘You drive a hard bargain but all right.’

When Diana comes downstairs half an hour later, the girls are surrounded by papers and busy with lists and phone calls. She watches them unnoticed, a feeling of pride creeping over her. Rachel looks up.

‘Hi, Mum. How are you feeling?’

Diana sighs. ‘All right. How are you getting on?’

‘OK. We’ve phoned nearly everyone on your list.’

‘Did you speak to Rosie?’

‘Emma did.’

Emma pulls a face. ‘It was all I could do to stop her coming over.’

‘Well, I’m glad you managed it,’ says Diana with a wry smile. ‘Will you stay for dinner?’

The girls make positive noises and Diana is pleased and thinks how much Edward would have enjoyed this. She goes to the kitchen and starts on dinner in order to stop herself thinking about how much she misses him.

Rosie looks at the dining table loaded with assorted finger foods and tuts.

‘
Vol au vents
? How ghastly. No one serves
vol au vents
these days,’ says a voice next to her. Rosie glances over to see a frowning elderly woman, dressed in a fitted midnight-blue suit. The woman looks at her and Rosie holds out her hand.

‘Rosie Temperley,’ she says, and then in a confidential whisper, ‘and I was just thinking the same thing.’ The woman smiles, satisfied that she has found an ally.

‘It’s my daughter, you see, she never did have much taste, apart from her husband. Dear, dear Edward, so tragic. How she ever managed to win him and keep him, I’ll never know.’

Rosie is delighted. ‘Oh, you’re Diana’s mother. It’s so lovely to meet you, and yes, it is an absolute tragedy about darling Teddy. I feel completely devastated by his loss,’ she says. ‘He and I were very close, old friends. I’ve known him a lot longer than Diana,’ she adds.

‘Really?’ says Diana’s mother. ‘I’m Elizabeth by the way. It’s good to meet you too.’

Rosie smiles warmly at her new friend. ‘And do I detect that your divine suit is Chanel?’

‘Of course,’ says Elizabeth plainly. ‘I rarely wear anything else during the day.’

‘Are you OK, Grandma?’ asks Emma joining them. ‘Hello, Rosie.’

‘Please, darling, don’t call me Grandma. It’s so ageing. Call me Granny if you absolutely must or Lizzy.’

‘Darling girl!’ cries Rosie, pressing Emma to her bosom. ‘How are you keeping? You must be in pieces!’

Emma sniffs and nods. ‘I just can’t believe he’s gone.’

‘I know, dear heart, I know.’

‘Great Grandmama?’ says Lily, sidling up to Elizabeth and tugging at her skirt. The old lady winces and looks down at Lily as if she has just discovered the source of a particularly unpleasant smell.

‘Ah, it’s Lileth, isn’t it?’

Lily stares back at her as if she is the stupidest person on the planet. ‘No, duh! My name is Lily. Now, do you want to come and play a game or not?’

Elizabeth looks scandalised at the suggestion and Emma realises she needs to help. ‘Come on, Lils, I’ll play with you,’ she says taking her niece by the hand.

‘What an impertinent child,’ remarks Elizabeth.

‘Yes, I think Rachel’s three are quite a handful,’ observes Rosie.

‘Well, it’s young women these days, isn’t it? They want it all, don’t they? It just isn’t possible. I have told Diana time and again how much she’s spoilt those girls but does she listen?’ says Elizabeth popping one of the much-maligned
vol-au-vents
into her mouth.

‘Would you care for a seat?’ asks Rosie, preparing to sit down and indulge in her favourite sport: criticising Diana.

‘But why did Grandpa have to die?’ asks Lily again.

‘Well, his heart wouldn’t work properly,’ says Emma, wishing they could talk about something else.

‘And where did you say he was?’ asks Lily.

‘Well, I think he’s up in heaven watching down on us.’

‘But we’ll never see him again?’

‘No.’

‘But why?’

‘Well, it’s like this, Miss Lily,’ says Martin joining them. ‘Grandpa’s body died, so that’s like his clothes, and what was inside him, like a spirit, has gone up to heaven so he can keep an eye on you and Will and Alfie and make sure you’re OK.’

Emma catches his eye, mouthing a heartfelt ‘thank you’.

‘Well, I think it’s bloody unfair,’ says Lily.

Martin kisses her on the forehead. ‘Do you know what, Lils? So do I,’ he says.

Lily clings onto him. ‘I really like you, Martin. When are you going to be our uncle again?’ she asks.

Emma holds her breath. ‘I already am your uncle and I always will be,’ he says.

‘Yay!’ shouts Lily and runs off to find her brothers.

Emma smiles nervously at him. ‘Thank you for that. And for coming. I didn’t realise you were here.’

‘I nipped in to the back of the church. I had to come and pay my respects. I was very fond of your dad.’ Emma can feel the tears welling in her eyes. Martin looks at her. ‘Hey, come on, Em, come here.’ He pulls her to him and they stay like this for a while. Martin is the first to pull away. ‘I should go.’

‘Please, don’t. Oh Martin, I’m so sorry. I’ve messed up everything.’

He sighs. ‘You won’t find me disagreeing with you, Em.’

‘Can we at least talk about this?’ she pleads.

Martin looks around the room. ‘I don’t think this is the right time, do you?’

Emma sniffs. ‘I guess not. I am sorry I hurt you though.’

He nods. ‘I’m going to go and say goodbye to your mum and Rachel now. Take care, Em,’ he says, turning on his heel.

Emma watches him go and wishes that her father were here to tell her what to do.

Rachel observes her mother move around the kitchen, her face set in concentration, her lips mouthing words like ‘sausage rolls’ and ‘need more crisps’. She looks over at Sue who shrugs helplessly.

‘Mum, are you OK?’ says Rachel, trying to sound matter of fact. Her mother looks at her with that blank glaze that characterises her appearance since Edward died.

‘What? Oh yes, I’m fine darling. I’m just trying to remember where I put the olives,’ she says. Rachel stands alongside her and peers into the cupboard.

‘Here they are, Mrs Darcy,’ says Sue, reaching behind her.

‘Ah, thank you, Susan, and please, call me Diana.’

‘Listen, Mum. Do you want to come and stay at ours tonight? The kids would love to have you over,’ says Rachel.

‘Oh, well that’s very kind of you, but I’m sure I’ll be –’

‘Diana!’ calls a voice from the living room. Diana doesn’t seem to hear until her mother appears at the kitchen door. ‘Diana! What are you doing hiding in here?’

‘Oh, sorry, Mother. I was just fetching some more food,’ says Diana.

‘Oh for goodness sake, Diana, you can’t hide out here all the time. People want to see you and honestly, what are you wearing? You know I can’t abide off the peg. I really think you need to come and see my hairdresser too and for heaven’s sake touch up that make-up!’

‘Sorry,’ says Diana without a hint of fight. Rachel feels a surge of sympathy for her mother and utter indignation at her grandmother’s insensitivity.

Just at that moment, Alfie bursts through the door. ‘Granny, Granny, Granny! Can we have some more of these crisps please!’

Elizabeth tuts loudly but Diana smiles and Rachel is proud of her. ‘Of course, my darling,’ she says taking the bowl from him.

‘They were Grandpa’s favourite,’ says Alfie, his face a big round moon with two vast blue, wondering eyes staring up at her. He frowns and screws up his face. ‘I miss Grandpa,’ he says plainly. Diana stares at him for a moment. Rachel and Sue hold their breath. Then she sinks to her knees and pulls his tiny, perfect frame to her.

‘So do I, Alfie. So do I,’ she says through a veil of desperate tears.

Elizabeth shakes her head and is about to open her mouth when Sue takes her firmly by the arm. ‘It’s Elizabeth, isn’t it? I’m Sue. You must come and meet Christa.’ she says, ushering her away. She glances back to see Rachel mouthing the words ‘I love you!’ and grins.

‘Caught you!’ says Emma rounding the corner of their parent’s summer house.

‘Shit, Emma! Do you have to creep up on people like that?’ says Rachel, taking a nerve-calming drag on her cigarette.

‘Sorry, but it wasn’t difficult to work out where you were.’

‘How so?’

‘Well, you’re not in the house and as we’re not electing a new Pope, I assumed the cloud of smoke rising above the summer house was probably you having a crafty fag.’

‘Fair point. Want one?’ says Rachel offering the packet.

‘No thanks and you shouldn’t be either.’

‘Oh spare me. I’ve just buried my Dad today, seen my mother humiliated by Granny and had to endure Rosie doing her “other widow” act.’

‘OK, whatever. How are you feeling, anyway?’

Rachel throws one cigarette to the floor, stamps on it and takes another from the packet. ‘Pretty numb. I keep expecting him to appear at any moment and offer to make us all ridiculously strong gins and tonic.’ Emma nods. ‘How about you?’ asks Rachel.

‘I can’t believe he’s gone. He won’t be there to walk me down the aisle or see my children born. It’s just not fair,’ she says, brushing away the tears. Rachel puts her arm round her sister and they stand in sorrowful silence, staring out at the bare autumn garden.

‘How do you think Mum is?’ asks Rachel after a while.

‘I dunno. OK I guess.’

‘I just saw Granny give her a complete dressing-down. Poor Mum. I think I’m a bit harsh on her sometimes.’

‘Yeah, maybe. Maybe we both are. She can just be so controlling.’ says Emma.

‘Yes, but we all are, aren’t we? And I can see where she gets it from. At least she’s not as bad as Granny.’

‘True,’ says Emma.

‘What about you and Martin then? Is it all off? I saw him leaving.’

‘I don’t know, Rach. Everything seems to be imploding. I don’t know what’s going to happen to be honest. What about you and Steve?’

‘I’m going to sort it this evening,’ says Rachel with confidence. She is determined. One thing she has discovered about grief, is that it has a startling way of putting your life into perspective. She’s going to square everything with Steve – apologise, beg, plead – anything it takes to make him see how sorry she is.

They hear someone walking down the path and Rachel kicks her discarded cigarette under a bush.

‘Oh there you are,’ says Steve. ‘What are you doing out here?’ Rachel and Emma exchange glances like two schoolgirls who’ve just been rumbled.

‘Oh I was just having a fag and Rachel was standing with me,’ says Emma with unconvincing loyalty. ‘I’m going to go back to the house.’

When she has gone Steve says, ‘I thought you’d given up.’

‘Oh yeah sorry. It was just the one, you know. It’s been a horrible day.’

‘I know,’ he says, turning back towards the house.

‘Actually, Steve?’ she says, reaching out to touch his arm. He flinches but doesn’t pull away. ‘Can we have a talk this evening?’

‘Are you sure today’s the right day?’ he asks.

‘I think we need to,’ she ways with a weak smile.

He nods. ‘OK then. I do have something I need to say.’

‘Rachel!’ shouts Emma from the back door.

‘What is it?’ calls Rachel, walking up to meet her sister on the patio.

‘It’s Mum.’

‘Is she OK?’

‘She’s fine, but she’s just punched Rosie.’

Rachel follows her sister into the dining room, where Rosie is sitting clutching a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel to her injured cheek. There is a crowd of people comforting her as she wails a chorus of self-pity. Rachel ignores her and pushes through to the kitchen. Diana is standing by the sink while Elizabeth is letting fly with a torrent of chastisements.

‘The trouble with you is that you have absolutely no self-control, never have done. I cannot believe that you’re my daughter. I am so ashamed and embarrassed. Poor Rosie. It is completely unacceptable to behave in such a way, Diana. Diana? Diana? Are you listening to me?’

Diana is standing motionless, staring straight ahead, unmoved by her mother’s speech. It is as if the words are washing over her and she cannot hear them. Emma and Rachel move towards them, ready to defend their mother, but it is Diana who speaks as if a button has been pressed in her head. She looks at her mother, unsmiling, speaking on a low, soft tone. ‘And your trouble, Mother, is that you are utterly devoid of human emotion and feeling and always have been. You gave me the most miserable childhood possible and never supported or loved me. I cannot believe that you are my mother and I am glad that I have finally given Rosie exactly what she deserves. Now if you will excuse me, I have just buried my husband today and would like to be alone. I am going upstairs to lie down. I’m sure Rachel or Emma will phone for a taxi to take you home. Goodbye, Mother.’

Diana sweeps from the room leaving Elizabeth opening and closing her mouth like a stuck pig. Rachel and Emma exchange looks of admiration as Christa comes into the kitchen.

‘Wow! Your mum has good punch,
nicht wahr
. I was
sehr
impressed. Ah, hallo again Lisbeth. Are you OK?’

Elizabeth tries to answer but it still too shocked to speak. Much to Rachel and Emma’s amusement, Christa puts her arm around her. Elizabeth looks horrified as Christa pats her arm. ‘
Ja
I know
Schatz
, it’s been a
scheisse
day but at least that bitch Rosie got her comeuppance.
Und
now, I have to go. I will give you a lift, Elizabeth. Come.’

Emma and Rachel watch them go. ‘She is amazing,’ says Emma at last.

‘Isn’t she?’ says Rachel smirking. Suddenly, the two sisters are laughing hysterically, tears rolling down their cheeks.

‘This is certainly the happiest funeral I’ve ever been to,’ says Sue, joining them in the kitchen.

‘I know,’ says Rachel through her laughter. ‘Dad would have loved it!’

Emma sees Richard’s car before he sees her and sighs. She hasn’t spoken to him since he dropped her off at the hospital and has felt some relief at this, unable to find the emotional strength to deal with both her grief and her ailing relationships. She taps on the window causing him to jump. He smiles at the sight of her.

‘Emma, darling, how are you?’ he asks following her down the garden path, reaching out an arm to stroke her shoulder.

‘Not too bad,’ she lies.

‘I’m so sorry about your dad,’ he says.

‘Thank you.’

He follows her into the house and down to the kitchen. ‘No Martin then?’ he asks looking around.

‘No, he’s gone.’

‘Oh I’m so sorry,’ says Richard, sounding anything but.

‘Richard, why are you here?’ asks Emma suddenly angry.

‘Darling, I’ve been desperate to see you,’ he says trying to take her in his arms. She pushes him away. ‘Emma, what’s wrong?’

‘I’m not sure. You tell me.’

‘Why are you so angry?’ he ask, his tone edged with irritation.

‘Hmm, I don’t know, maybe I’m a little pissed off because, my dad has just died and the only emotional support I’ve had this week is from my ex!’