Not Your Sidekick (14 page)

“Oh. I didn't know.” Abby takes a bite of her sandwich.

“It's okay. I think it's pretty cool you thought of using ‘they' when you didn't know for sure.”

Abby nods. “No problem. Darryl always does the same workshop at the beginning of the year for everyone in Rainbow Allies.”

“Oh. Cool. Do you participate in a lot of their events?” Jess isn't really sure what to say to that; it's interesting that Abby is in that club, but it doesn't necessarily mean she knows for sure Abby is attracted to girls.

But she
might
be.

“Nah, I've always been busy with student council and volleyball, plus there's never too much going on. And it's kind of weird, you know? Darryl and his friends in the club; it's a bunch of gay guys hanging out. Sometimes there will be more people, but that core group hasn't changed much.” Abby shrugs and then gives Jess a thoughtful look. “I think I remember seeing you at a few meetings, freshman year I think?”

“Yeah, Bells and I went a few times, I mean, I think the ideas are good…” Jess isn't really sure how to explain it, but the way Abby described it as “Darryl and his friends” makes sense. It's another clique, in a way. “We didn't… I didn't feel like I belonged there.”

“Yeah,” Abby says. “They're working on it, though. Janelle, the treasurer for student council, also just got the treasurer position there so I think things are getting better.”

Jess leans on the edge of the kitchen counter, bobbing her head in understanding. It seems that particular thread of conversation is over, and she isn't sure what to say next. They stare at each other awkwardly; Jess doesn't know any of Abby's friends so she can't ask about them, and they've already talked about volleyball. They should just start the assignment.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Abby asks.

“Shouldn't we do the writing assignment?”

Abby tosses her hair over her shoulder in cascading curls of brilliant red. “We could, but we've got two weeks. That's plenty of time. We can brainstorm after watching the movie; maybe we'll get some fun ideas.”

“Okay.”

The couch is comfortable; the food is delicious. Abby picks one of Jess' favorite movies.

Jess is hyper-aware of Abby's arm on the back of the couch, of how casually she's sitting.

“Where'd your robot go?” Jess whispers.

“Docking station, probably,” Abby says. “You okay? You said you liked this series, right?”

Jess can't remember if she's talked about
Vindicated
to Abby, but maybe Emma told her. When the fifth movie came out, Jess was really vocal about how much she loved the series and dragged her friends to see it with her three times in the theater. It's only just come out on holoscreen. Jess knows if she starts watching the movie, she'll get into that mindset and not want to work at all afterward.

“Will it help you relax if we got some work done before goofing off?”

Jess nods.

Abby laughs and pauses the movie. “Okay, cool. What should we write about? Ms. Rhinehart said anything goes as long as we collaborate and there's a clear narrative with rising action and all that.”

“What kinda story do you want to write? We've done fantasy in class before, and historical, and—”

“Romance,” Abby says with a smile. “That's pretty easy, what, the story is like ten pages, right? Girl meets—”

“Girl,” Jess blurts out.

“Okay, cool. What are their names?” Abby pulls out a notebook and pen out of her bag, then looks at Jess.

Wow. Okay, so Abby likes the story idea.
Jess still has no clue if Abby is attracted to girls.

Why is this so difficult?
She could ask, but then it would be too obvious. Jess might as well hold up a neon sign that reads
I've had a crush on you since freshman year
and wave it around hopefully.

“Um. Rebecca. And she's a superhero,” Jess says.

“‘Kay, she's powered… and she's in love with this other girl?”

“Yes! And when she's in her secret identity, the other girl doesn't know she exists—”

“Michelle, she can be Michelle! I like that name a lot. Okay, what about they… work together? At some boring office job. And Michelle is in love with Rebecca's superhero identity, never knowing that her coworker has been her all along.”

Jess giggles. “Ah, that's awesome.”

They plot out the story, and Abby writes a paragraph of introduction while Jess plays with a scene of dialogue and makes a brief outline, and then they switch papers.

Abby's handwriting is loopy and messy, and Jess likes the way all her lowercase letters flow into one another. She especially likes the way she writes the letter “y” with the curl arching around the entire word. It's too cute. Jess adds a few lines, and they switch papers again, and Jess finds Abby's added a line of dialogue where she was stuck.

In all of Jess' daydreams, when she finally worked up the courage to talk to Abby, it's played out like a spectacular movie: Jess saving the day with her super-strength; or flying with Abby; or taking her on an elaborate date after presenting her with flowers. It always seemed so far-fetched, an impossible dream, a fun crush to think about.

Maybe Jess was caught up with these ridiculous, impossible ideas because it meant she never had to try for something real.

“Hey,” Jess says, tapping her pencil to her lips. “This is fun. I've never written with anyone before.”

“Me neither,” Abby says, nudging her. “Hey, plot twist.”

“Huh?”

“Here, I just thought of something.” Abby takes Jess' outline, where Jess enclosed major events in neat little boxes and connected them in sequence. “We can't have a superhero story without a villain, right? So what if…”

It becomes routine over the
next two weeks: Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays after school, Abby drives Jess to Monroe Industries and they go to work, Jess in her office with M and Abby in her own office, doing robotics projects. Jess doesn't see her often at work, but she's getting more and more comfortable hanging out and not tripping over her words. Tuesdays and Thursdays, Abby invites her to her house and they work on the project together. They write side-by-side or watch movies.

Today they're at Abby's house, and Jess sits on the edge of Abby's bed, staring up at her ceiling, where Abby's stuck glow-in-the-dark stars. It's too bright to see them in the afternoon, but she wonders how they'd look at night, whether Abby lies here in the dark looking at her own constellations.

“I'll be there in a minute!” Abby calls from downstairs.

“Okay!” Jess calls back, wanting to stay on the bed but also to get up and look around. Jess settles for trying to take in as many details as possible: the navy bedspread, the array of broken computer circuits in the corner, the bookshelf filled with novels and printed comic books. There are many issues Jess recognizes, like the series about Lieutenant Orion and the origin of the Heroes' League of Heroes, but quite a few that she doesn't. Jess almost pulls out a battered copy with the title
Gravitus and the Amazing Rescue!
but stops. She's quite proud of herself; if she gets sucked into the story, she won't pay any attention to work.

Abby said to use her desktop projector. Jess syncs her DED and opens a word processing program. She starts to type up the handwritten bits she and Abby have written so far. She's only a few sentences in when she hears footsteps in the hallway.

“Hey,” Abby says, coming through the doorway with two glasses of orange juice. “All right, where're we at with the story?”

“Oh, I've just started typing this part up,” Jess says.

“Do you mind music while we work?”

“Not at all.”

A radio starts playing in the background, an upbeat pop song with a quick beat. It's a popular song about falling in love and crushes, and Abby hums along to it. Jess bites her lip
. Is Abby humming along to this song about secret crushes because she likes the music or because she relates to it?

She tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach and finishes typing up the next section. After Michelle and Rebecca defeat the villain, Jess takes a break and stretches her fingers.

“Oh, I worked on the ending during my math class.” Abby pulls a thick sheaf of paper from her backpack and hands it to Jess. “I can type, if you want.”

“No, it's okay, I've got a rhythm going.”

Jess smiles and takes the papers, glad that Abby started writing this section of the story. They'd agreed a first kiss would go in this part, but Jess was unsure she could write that bit so Abby volunteered. She starts typing, reading the scene for the first time as she goes.

Jess stares at the words and blushes. “Um, do you think this is…”

“What? Is it okay? Too much? Do you like it?” Abby asks with a hesitant smile, curling a finger into her hair and twisting it.

Jess glances back to the page, where the characters are engaged in a furious kiss; clothes are coming off and… “Ah, I don't know if this will be okay for our assignment.”

“Ms. Rhinehart didn't say there were any rules against writing sex into the story,” Abby says. “Besides, it makes sense. I mean, our characters are two adults in love, and it's fun and silly. Did you like the bit where they take their masks off? I used the same dialogue from your reveal earlier. I thought it worked really well.”

Jess' face is hot. “I… can I take this home and tell you later? I just realized I have to do chores. My, um, my MonRobot is really old and has trouble getting up the stairs, so I usually vacuum—”

“But I fixed Chả: Is it malfunctioning again?”

Jess totally forgot about that. “Um. No, Chả is great, I um, I have to babysit my brother this afternoon so—okay! Bye!” Jess is halfway down the hallway before she realizes that Abby drove her here and would have to drive her home.

“Jess, I'm sorry. I should have asked if you'd be okay with it. We don't have to put it in the story; it's just something I worked on in my own time. We were having such a good time working on the separate parts and seeing what the other came up with that I thought putting this piece in was okay. But if it makes you uncomfortable, we can take it out.”

Jess takes a deep breath and turns around. Abby stands there, radiant in the soft afternoon light. She changed out of her trendy outfit earlier; in a simple T-shirt and shorts, she seems smaller, vulnerable, and questioning.

“Do you still want to go home?” Abby asks quietly. “I can take you; it's okay.”

“I just… I don't think I could sit in your bedroom and write a sex scene, that's all.” Jess bites her lip.
What's the best way to say because it's too embarrassing to talk to a crush about sex and read an explicit thing they wrote while they're right there?

“Okay. Did you want to take it out? We can work on something else. Or not work on it at all. Movie?”

“I have to get home for dinner,” Jess says. “I really haven't been spending a lot of time there because I'm either here or at work and… Yeah.”

Abby drives Jess home in silence.

Jess isn't sure where she
stands with Abby.

She tells Bells as much, chatting away on the comm link that night while she's working on her biology homework. She was a little worried that things might be weird after her reaction to the sex scene, but the series of messages between her and Abby afterward suggests that everything is okay. Jess thumbs over the series of happy faces Abby sent her, tracing her fingers over the projections as she talks to Bells.

“It's great hanging out with Abby. You know, we've gone from strangers to what, study buddies? Assignment partners?”

Bells chuckles, his voice light and teasing. “How about friends? Or maybe soon-to-be-more-than friends?”

“Shut up,” Jess says, laughing.

Something on Bells' end crackles and hisses.

“Is something on fire?” she asks. “Bells?”

“Ah— I'm fine, I'm fine!”

“I thought you didn't have work today. I can't believe Simon let you in the kitchen.”

“Uh, he didn't come back this weekend. I'm… yeah. I'm in charge of cooking today. Gotta go, bye!”

The call disconnects, and Jess shakes her head.

She lies back on her bed, closes the comm link, and thinks about the next time she'll get to hang out with Abby.

Being with Abby is something
to look forward to every day, even if it's just the twenty-minute ride from school to work. Jess is daydreaming about it during class today, fading in and out of consciousness, practically falling asleep. History is right after lunch, and she can barely concentrate. Mr. Liu's voice is such a soothing monotone. Jess' head bobs forward, and when she jerks upright, a few people turn around.

“Ah, Jessica. Can you tell me who was the first meta-human recognized as a superhero in the North American Collective after the X29 solar flare in 2028?” Mr. Liu looks at Jess expectantly, and she's grateful that they're learning a contemporary module on recent history.

And Jess is nothing if not an expert on heroes and villains.

“Gravitus, real name Vance Stackson revealed after his death in 2038,” Jess says. “A-class powers of gravity manipulation and was an incredibly formidable hero in the first wave of meta-humans. He was one of the founding members of the Heroes' League of Heroes.”

A few of her classmates look bored. Elizabeth is sending a message on her DED and Darryl is nodding, but most people look either confused or ambivalent. Denise is holding back a smirk, as if she knows Jess is wrong.

“I'm sorry,” Mr. Liu says. “You must have gotten confused. Gravitus was one of the greatest supervillains of his time. Which actually wasn't that long ago, I mean, my grandfather still remembers that battle between him and—who can tell me the correct answer?”