Nothing But Trouble (13 page)

“That and a whole lot more.  Stoney Buxton you’ve pushed me, prodded me, barked at me until I can’t stand it anymore.  I’m tired.  Not only from the long ride, cold baths, and bugs swarming everywhere, but of trying to keep up with you long enough to get you to believe that I can really hack this.”  She took a fortifying breath and brushed her hair away from her face with both hands.  She charged forward and poked him in the chest.  “Well, I’m tired of it.  You can push me all you want, but as of this moment, I’m pushing back.  You don’t have to like me to get through the next month.  I don’t care if you detest the site of me.  But I was hoping that at least we could find some common ground long enough to have a peaceful evening.”

She heard the loud pounding of her heartbeat in her ear as she waited for the backlash.  With her father, it would have been immediate.  She stood her ground and waited, but the battle never came. 

Stoney looked at her for a long agonizing moment, regret etched in his features.  “You’ve got it all wrong, Sunshine,” he said in a low voice.  Turning away from her, he grabbed the hatchet by the fire and started walking out into the darkness.

Her bottom lip started to tremble.  Damn, she didn't want to cry, but the tears were already coming.  “Where are you going?” she called out.

He didn’t say anything.  He just kept walking until she couldn’t see him any longer.

Picking up the pan and dunking it in the water, Melanie fought to see the basin of soapy water through her tears as she scrubbed the pot.  Damn Stoney Buxton.  Damn her for caring so much.  What was it about this man that drove her insane?  She’d met challenge head on her whole life.  But with him, she just felt like a failure.  Did he want to see her fail?  Would that prove to him that he was right about her all along?

She sniffed back a few tears and chided herself silently for them.  She wouldn’t give Stoney the satisfaction of getting her down.  She’d come to Wyoming with one thing on her agenda.  But now she realized there was more she’d been seeking.  She’d been in search of the freedom she never had in her life back in Long Island.  Something about the Wyoming mountains felt like home to her.  She felt like she belonged here.  Why couldn’t Stoney see that?

When she was finished drying the dishes and putting them back in the pack, she found a spot to dump the basin of dirty water.  She was physically and emotionally drained, and wanted nothing more than to crawl into a warm bed on a nice firm mattress with cool crisp sheets.  She’d settle for her bedroll and decided that she wasn’t going to notice the difference given her fatigue.

She wasn’t sure just how long Stoney had been gone.  As she placed her wet clothes by the fire to dry overnight, her imagination began to run away from her.  The sounds of the forest were soothing during the day, but alone at night, everything seemed ominous.  She recalled a story she’d read in the newspaper a few years back about a hiker who’d been attacked by a mountain lion while he camped.  They’d taken all the necessary precautions by tying their food pack in a tree far enough away from their campsite and burning all the package remains in the campfire.

Stoney was out somewhere in the forest.  She wanted him to come back.  Not just because she was alone.  His aloof behavior for the past few days made her feel like she was alone with the horses anyway.  But she wanted him there with her.  No matter how much they fought, she felt safer with Stoney, as if nothing could touch her if he was with her.

The higher elevation lent itself to colder nights.  She stoked the fire, wishing she had a big log to put on it instead of small twigs.  Stoney had taken the hatchet when he’d stormed off.  Although she didn’t hear him, no doubt he was out combing the woods for more downed tree limbs. 

When he finally returned to camp, he had an armful of wood.  Without a word, he dropped the logs and kindling to the side of the campfire and added a few pieces until the fire came to a roaring flame.

Melanie welcomed the heat, but she welcomed his presence more.  He didn’t say a word, and she finally decided she was too tired to try anymore.  She lifted to her feet, rubbing her hands together near the fire once more before turning to the tent.

“Goodnight.”

Stoney grasped her hand and swung her around to face him as she moved past.  She glanced up and saw the same war raging in him that she’d been battling the past few days.  “I haven’t been fair to you,” he began.  “I didn’t know how to handle the way I’ve been feeling, so I took my frustration out on you.  That was wrong of me.  I’m sorry.”

She was still hurt and angry and didn’t want to take his apology.  “If you didn’t want to come, then why are you here?”

He let go of her arm.  “I had no choice.” 

She gave a wry laugh.  “Like I could make you do anything you didn’t want to do.”

“We lost more than the barn in that fire.”  He didn’t look at her.  In a man like Stoney, pride ran deep.  Showing any signs of fear was something she suspected was a rarity for him.  He was strong, in physical form and in his integrity.  As hard as he was on her these last few days, she suspected that maybe he was harder on himself.

Right now, he was vulnerable, and he was scared. 

“We’d just taken out a mortgage and bought the acreage adjoining our property.  I’d sunk every nickel of my rodeo winnings into the deal and borrowed the rest, hoping to expand the ranch.  In short, we were in debt up to our eyeballs.”  He swallowed hard.  “And then the fire...”

She reached out and touched his arm, feeling his muscles flex beneath her fingers.  But he didn’t move away.  “Is that how your father got hurt?”

He nodded once.  “It was a spontaneous combustion fire.  It doesn’t take much once hay and dry wood start burning.  The horses were in the stables and Pop ran in to open the stalls, trying to get them free.  That’s when one of the beams collapsed on him.  Mitch was there.  Thank God, he was there.  He dragged him out just in time.  The barn was gone.”

Tears filled Melanie’s eyes, and a chill raced up her spine.  “That’s horrible.”

He stood tall and cleared his throat.  “Yeah.  While I was getting up and wiping my hat off after getting thrown around in some muddy arena, Pop was being told he’d never get up and walk again.  Never ride again.”

She gasped softly.  “Surely you don’t blame yourself.”

He shrugged.  “I wasn’t there.  I should have been there for my father.  Instead I was out doing the one thing they didn't want me to do.  I was riding rodeo.”

“No one knows when something like that will happen.  How could being there have made a difference?”

“That's what I keep asking myself.  It would have been different.  The fire would have started anyway.  I'm not saying I could have changed something like that.  But I wasn't home.  I'd convinced myself that money I was making rodeoing was helping the ranch.  I was the one who pushed for the expansion.  I was the one who was so sure I'd win enough money to keep us in the black.  I left all the work for Mitch and Pop.”

She saw his jaw tighten as if he were fighting to hang on the last bit of his emotion. 

“I might not have been able to have stopped Pop from getting hurt, but at least I would have been there instead of hearing by telegram that my father was laid up in a hospital.”

“That must have been hard for you.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled a slow breath.  “Not as hard as it is for Pop.” 

“I don’t blame you for not wanting to leave him now.”

“It was going to happen either way.  It was either a rodeo or here.  Mom has a hard time with me going back to rodeo, so...”

“All this time I thought you were acting this way because you hated me,” she said quietly.

He rolled his eyes and gave a wry laugh.  “I don’t hate you.  My Lord, Melanie, this would be a hell of a lot easier if I did.”

Her eyes widened.  “Then what?  What has all this between us been about?”

He shook his head.  “Don’t go there.  Just leave it alone.”

“Why?  If we’re going to be in each other’s back pockets for the next month, we need to get this out in the open.”

“Some things are better left unsaid.”

“I don’t want to go on the way we’ve been.”

“Neither do I.”

“Then what do you want?”

He was so close, she could almost feel the heat of his body.  His breath misted in the cold night air as he spoke.  He reached up and touched her cheek, muttering an oath under his breath.  With one swift movement, he pulled her to him, crushing her body against his rock hard chest.  She felt his fingers curl into the soft flesh of her upper arms as his mouth came down over hers with a white hot intensity. 

His kiss held an urgency, built of the frustration that plagued both of them since they met.  She realized then that her attraction to Stoney was much more than simple lust.  There was strength to Stoney that pulled her to him like a magnet.  He dropped his hands to her waist and circled one arm around her, pulling her to him until she felt how tight and hard his body was with need.  Heat coiled inside her and raced through each and every inch of her being.  He drove his tongue deep inside her mouth and out again, teasing her, tantalizing her until a soft moan escaped her lips.

“You’re driving me crazy,” he whispered against her ear.  His shallow breaths were hot against her cool skin.  “How can I be this close to you and not want you as much as I do?”

His deep breath expanded his chest until it pressed firmly against her breasts, causing her nipples to respond by tightening into tiny little buds.  She wanted to curl into the circle of his arms and never leave.  The loneliness she’d felt just a few short moments ago became a distant memory.  In his arms, nothing could touch her.

“You have a funny way of showing it.”  She didn’t want to let him go.  It was as if everything they’d been through was meant to lead up to this moment, when she was in his arms.  She reached up and laced her fingers together behind his neck.  She wanted his mouth on hers again.  And she wanted so much more.

Abruptly he pulled away and dropped his arms stiffly by his side, turning his eyes toward the fire. 

“It’s no good.  I’m not what you’re looking for, Melanie.”

“You don’t know anything about what I’m looking for.”

He backed away a few steps as if needing the distance for himself as much as for her.  She immediately felt cold despite the warm fire they were standing by.

“I’ve met a lot of women on the rodeo circuit.  Most of them aren’t looking for a lasting relationship with a cowboy.  They want the moment.  It’s a dangerous thing lovin’ a cowboy.  Expectations last one night, and then you’re on to the next rodeo.  What I know is that a woman with big dreams like you has expectations for the future.  You won’t find any with me.”

Her head was spinning.  How could he be telling her he didn’t want her after kissing her the way he had?  “Are you always this chivalrous?”  She was aware of the bite in her tone.

“Right now I’m not feeling very chivalrous and I haven’t since the moment you stepped on my ranch.”  He heaved a sigh and jammed his fingers through his thick black hair.  “I want you, Melanie.  Every bit of me is screaming to take you down and make love to you right here by the fire.  But I can’t.”

“Yes-”

“No!” he roared, his voice startling her with its intensity.  It seemed to echo like thunder off the mountains that surrounded them.  “I want you to go into your tent and climb into your sleeping bag.  Alone.  You need to do that.”

She hugged herself, trying her best not to feel the ache of his rejection.  “I don’t understand.”