Notorious (11 page)

Perhaps more dangerous.

Sabin’s restraint just now bespoke a steely determination far more threatening than the uncontrolled desire he’d shown her the night she had arrived at Kandrahan. She had moved toward him, haltingly at first, then trustingly, and last night had been the final step to place herself unconditionally in his power.

It had to stop.

Mallory threw the sheets aside and jumped out of bed and grabbed Sabin’s robe from the chair.

A moment later the door slammed behind her, and she was walking quickly, almost running, down the hall toward her own suite.

Sabin knocked perfunctorily on the door of Mallory’s suite but didn’t wait for an answer before walking into the room. His gaze went to the open suitcase on the bed. “Nilar said you were packing. May I ask what this is all about?”

“I want to go to Marasef.” Mallory didn’t look at him as she opened the bureau drawer, took out a pile of silken lingerie, and crossed the room toward the suitcase on the bed. “Right away.”

“I still have two days left of my three weeks.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to stay here any longer.”

He closed the door and leaned back against it. “Why not?”

“I think you know. I’ve been an idiot.” She tossed the lingerie into the suitcase. “I believe you
must have hypnotized me or something. I thought everything was going to be …” She trailed off and shrugged helplessly. “I’m getting in too deep. This isn’t what I want. Another week of this and I’ll probably be content to do whatever you want me to do.”

He smiled. “Would that be so bad? You’re not being mistreated.”

“Yes, it would be bad.” She crossed to the bureau and scooped up another armload of clothes. “I’m not like you. A relationship has to have substance for me to—We’re not alike.” She walked across the room and dropped the clothes into the suitcase. “It’s best that I go.”

“The hell it is.”

She looked at him for the first time since he had entered the room, and a ripple of shock ran through her. Sabin’s mouth was drawn in a thin line, and his light eyes blazed hard and bright. She moistened her lips with her tongue. “You promised you’d let me go in three weeks.”

“And I’ll keep my promise.” Sabin moved across the room and slammed the suitcase shut and knocked it off the bed. “In two days.
Dammit, I’ve behaved like a blasted eunuch for the past few weeks. I’m not letting you panic and run out on me just because you suddenly realized that you want me as much as I want you.”

“I don’t want—” She stopped as she remembered the wave of raw desire that had swept over her only a few hours ago. “There’s chemistry between us, but that’s not enough for me. A relationship has to mean something besides sex.”

“It
does
mean something,” he said harshly. “It means—” He broke off and turned away. “I don’t know what it means yet, but you’re not leaving. In two days I’ll drive you to Marasef myself, but I will have those two days, dammit.”

The door slammed behind him.

“You look as uptight as Sabin.” Carey’s gaze searched Mallory’s face as she came down the garden path toward him. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Kandrahan isn’t paradise.” Mallory plopped down beside him on the bench in the enclosed arbor. “And there’s certainly nothing celestial about Sabin.”

“No, but he’s not Mephistopheles either. He’s just a man.” He smiled gently. “I don’t think he knows what to do about you, and that frustrates the hell out of him.”

“I’ll tell you what he can do. He can let me go.”

“He had to let too many people go when he was a kid. He finds it hard to give up what he wants now.”

“Until he’s ready to boot them out of his life.”

“What do you want me to say?” Carey asked. “I won’t lie to you and tell you Sabin believes in long-term relationships. I don’t remember any affair he’s had lasting over three months.”

Pain surged through her, as inexplicable as it was intense. How stupid to react like this when she had no desire to throw herself into the lion’s den of another no-win relationship. “No, I don’t want you to lie to me,” she said dully. “I just don’t want to be another statistic in Sabin’s past date column. I think I have more to give a man than he obviously wants from me.” She turned to face him. “Will you help me leave here today?”

He shook his head. “Sabin’s my friend as well as my employer, Mallory. I won’t jeopardize our
relationship.” His hand covered hers on the bench. “He’s as confused as you are. He’s never felt like this about a woman before, and he doesn’t like it one bit. Give him a chance.”

“I can’t give him a chance.” She jumped to her feet and picked up the script. “We’re through rehearsing. I know this role backwards and forwards.”

“That’s for sure. So do I. What shall we do instead?”

“We’ll do nothing. Your services as court jester are officially at an end, Carey.” She turned on her heel. “I’m going for a little walk in the desert.”

He frowned. “Walk in the desert? Why not stay in the garden. You can’t walk in this heat.”

“Believe me, the temperature isn’t what’s making me hot under the collar. I’m going to Marasef.”

His eyes widened in alarm. “You can’t do that.”

“The hell I can’t. I’m tired of being sweet, placid Mallory. It’s time I acted, instead of reacted.”

“Don’t do anything foolish. I don’t—Lord, I wish I could help you.”

“I wish you could too. But since you can’t, I’ll just have to help myself.” She walked away from him down the path.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Sabin rode the brake, and the Jeep coasted beside her.

She didn’t look at him as she trudged down the road, her gaze on the dunes shimmering on the horizon. “What does it look like? I’m going to Marasef. Go back to the house, Sabin.”

“Not until you go with me. For Lord’s sake, I couldn’t believe it when Carey told me you’d just calmly decided to leave Kandrahan. It’s almost a hundred degrees out here.” He jammed on the brake and jumped out of the Jeep. “Do you want to undo all the progress you’ve made in the past three weeks?”

She kept on walking. “I’m wearing a hat and desert boots.” She gestured to the two straps crisscrossing her breasts. “And carrying two canteens. The walk won’t hurt me.”

“How do you know?” He gripped her shoulders and spun her around to face him, his eyes squinting against the white hot glare of the sunlight as he looked down at her. “And how are you supposed to find your way to Marasef?”

“Just follow the yellow brick road,” she said flippantly.

“This isn’t Oz. You could die out here.”

“I won’t die, and I
will
go to Marasef.” She gazed directly into his eyes. “Count on it. Dammit, I don’t want to be here!”

His gaze narrowed on her face. “You’re upset.”

“How perceptive of you. Don’t be an idiot. Of course I’m upset,” she said in exasperation. “Upset, helpless, and fed up. How do you expect me to feel?”

“I don’t know.” His lips twisted. “I’ve been too busy trying to make some sense out of how I feel to try to second-guess you.” His brow furrowed in a frown. “Okay. Let’s deal.”

She looked at him warily.

“It’s almost four o’clock now. Come back and spend the rest of the day and evening with me, and I’ll take you to Marasef tomorrow morning.” He saw her wary expression and shook his head. “I don’t mean in bed unless you decide you want to be there.” He paused. “Though it’s only fair to warn you, I’m going to do my damnedest to persuade you to let me make love to you.”

She hesitated.

“Persuade, not force,” he said softly. “Only half a day. Then ‘Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to Marasef we go.’”

“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” she said absently, but her gaze was uncertain.

“And I promise not to tempt you with a poison apple.”

“I was thinking more on the lines of the apple of knowledge the serpent offered Eve in the Garden of Eden.” A sudden smile lit her face. “There’s definitely a comparison there.”

“Not really.” His hands kneaded her shoulders, and she was reminded of those many hours in his bed when his big hands had soothed and petted her. “You’ve already tasted the apple and found it to your liking.”

“I have no intention of tasting it again.”

“Intentions sometimes alter with circumstances. Deal?”

She was silent a moment. His smile was as gentle as the ones he had given her each afternoon when she had nestled in his arms, and yet he was giving her few promises this time. She should refuse this bargain. If she pushed a little more, she
might still achieve the total victory she had sought when she left Kandrahan. Yet following that discreet path filled her with an odd reluctance. She had shared too much with Sabin Wyatt in the last weeks to want to end their relationship with anger. In many ways she respected and admired him more than any man she had ever known. Perhaps if she gave them both the opportunity, there might be some way they could forge a tentative friendship.

And she desperately wanted that chance, she suddenly realized. “Deal.”

A brilliant smile lit his face. “Great. Let’s get you back to Kandrahan and out of this sun.” He took her elbow and propelled her toward the Jeep. “You know, you’re turning out to be a very surprising lady. I thought I could gauge your reactions, but I never imagined you’d give in to impulse and pull a crazy stunt like this.”

A small smile tugged at her lips. “Didn’t you?”

He shook his head as he lifted her into the passenger seat of the Jeep. “I didn’t think you’d let all that calm, cool reasoning be blown away by emotion.”

“You never know about people, do you?”

“Let me take those canteens for you. The straps must be cutting into your shoulders. You look like a guerrilla fighter wearing a banderole of bullets.”

“If you like.” She pulled the straps of the two canteens over her head and handed the containers to him. “Though they’re not at all heavy.”

“They have to be. They’re two quart—” He broke off as he weighed the canteens in his hands. “Good Lord, they’re—”

“Empty.” She nodded serenely. “I didn’t see any sense in burdening myself too heavily when I might have to walk awhile. I wasn’t sure when Carey would get around to telling you I was leaving.”

He gazed at her blankly. “A setup.”

“Why should I be the only one to be manipulated?” She smiled. “You see, I’ve been studying you for the last few weeks, too, Sabin. You’re not as hard as you think you are. I knew you wouldn’t let me run the risk of hurting myself even if it meant giving up what you wanted.”

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

“I hope not. Though I admit I was fervently wishing that state on you this morning.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “I love
it.” A smile lingered on his lips as he strode around the Jeep and jumped into the driver’s seat. He gave her a sidewise glance that held amusement, respect, and challenge. “It’s your game, Mallory, but one of these days you’re going to forget all about reason and act purely on emotion.”

“Perhaps.” Her own smile faded as she watched him start and reverse the Jeep. By compromising and returning to Kandrahan, she was very much afraid she was already acting purely on an emotional level. The burst of contentment and anticipation exploding within her as she thought about this last night was too intense to mistake.

“Did you wear that for me?” Sabin’s gaze went over Mallory slowly, lingering on her bare shoulders framed by the violet chiffon gown.

“It’s only polite to try to please one’s host.” Mallory avoided his stare as she came into the salon. “This is my last night here, and you said you liked violet.”

“I do.” He held out her glass of white wine. “Thank you.”

“Where’s Carey this evening?” Mallory carefully avoided looking at Sabin as she sipped her wine.

“I told him to make himself scarce.” One corner of Sabin’s lips lifted in a lopsided smile. “In my usual diplomatic fashion.”

“I hope you weren’t rude to him.”

“Carey’s used to me. I assure you he’s not sulking in his room. He knows this may be my last chance to be alone with you at Kandrahan.”

She felt the same poignant pang of sadness she had experienced this afternoon. “It will be strange leaving here. These weeks have been very restful.”

He chuckled. “Do you know how weird that sounds? I tricked you into coming here, took your virginity, and forced you into staying another three weeks. You should be seething with resentment.”

“I’m not good at resentment or anger,” she said lightly. “I believe it’s better to try to understand than to beat my fists bloody fighting.”

His smile faded. “I know. You have the sweetest
nature of any man, woman, or child I’ve ever encountered.”

She was embarrassed. “Nonsense.”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t believe it either.” He looked down at the wine in his glass. “I didn’t want to believe it. It disturbs me.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Because I suppose your vulnerability roused any tatters of chivalry that remained in me.”

“I think you may be more chivalrous than you think,” she said quietly. “You’ve been very kind to me since that first night.”

“Ah, but that’s because I wanted to chain you to me in all the ways there are.” He lifted his glass to his lips. “You should know by now that kindness isn’t one of my more salient qualities.”