Now and Forever (12 page)

“Then why are you looking at me like that?” he asked smoothly.

“I’m not looking at you like anything.”

“You want me to fuck you. I know you better than anyone, Layla. When we fight it makes you hot, just like it does me.”

She narrowed her eyes and tried to pull her arms away, but he held them in place. “If I’m hot right now, it’s because I haven’t had sex in a week, not because we’re fighting. Finding out the man I wanted to marry is Fred Fucking Flintstone does
not
make me hot.”

“Wanted?” His brow furrowed as he stared down at her. “You don’t want to marry me anymore?”

“I can’t marry a man who doesn’t respect my career, Ben. And knowing how I feel, why would you want to marry me? You need a woman who’s eager to stay at home and raise your babies, not me.”

His hurt expression sent a shot straight into her heart. “You don’t mean that. I love you. You’re the only one I want.”

Layla didn’t try to hold back the tears this time. She let them spill over as she spoke. “But I’m not. This isn’t one of our foreplay fights, Ben. This is our lives, and it’s serious. You don’t want a woman who wants kids
and
a career. And that’s who I am.”

Ben released her arms, and she let them fall at her sides. “I do want you. I thought . . .” He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. “I thought we’d work it out. Compromise.”

“How can we compromise on that?”

“I thought maybe you could work part-time, or just stay home ‘til our kids started school.”

Layla wiped away her tears and shook her head. “It’s not just about that, Ben. I don’t feel respected by you.”

“That is such bullshit,” he said bitterly. “You knocked me flat on my ass the first day I met you. And since then I’ve come to love and respect you so much that it drives me fucking crazy sometimes. It’s why I proposed when we hadn’t even been together for a year. You think you know what’s in my heart, but you don’t. I think you’re a brilliant attorney, but no job in the world means more to me than raising our children. I’ve given you my heart and soul. Everything I am or ever will be. Don’t fucking tell me I don’t respect you because I want you to have my kids and shape who they become. You’re the only woman I’ve ever been close to loving or respecting enough to want that with.”

His normally bright blue eyes had darkened. Layla looked into them, at a loss for words. He walked to the end of the couch and picked up his duffel bag.

“I guess this time apart will give us both time to think about things,” he said. Layla’s gaze wandered down the lines of his tall, powerful frame. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and tell him she hated this fight they were having. He’d been right, she was craving sex with him on a primal level. It was the way they spoke best to each other about their feelings. But it wouldn’t solve anything.

“Be careful,” she said softly.

He nodded, but didn’t look at her. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

***

Having lunch with Matt reminded Cole how much he missed his job. Matt had dropped by the apartment and not taken no for an answer. It was good to be able to talk to someone from the firm about the stolen money, though. Maybe Matt knew something that could help him.

“I knew from the second I heard about it that you didn’t do it,” Matt said. “It’s not like you. Have you talked to McNeil about this?”

“I’m forbidden to talk to anyone from the firm right now. You shouldn’t even be here with me right now.”

“Are those fuckers gonna fire me for eating a cheeseburger with you?” Matt took a bite of his sandwich.

“I don’t even know anymore. I’ve thought about the charges against me so much it’s bordering on paranoia. So few people have access to the servers. Would one of the partners do that to me? If they wanted to get rid of me, they should’ve just fired me.”

“Anyone who knows what they’re doing can get into the servers. It could’ve been anyone,” Matt said.

Cole sighed with frustration. “I don’t have the fucking money. That fact seems to be lost on everyone.”

“I can ask around,” Matt said, setting down his sandwich. “I’ll see if I can figure out where the money is. And also who put it there.”

“No, man, you can’t do that,” Cole said, shaking his head. “You’ll definitely get fired if you get caught screwing around on the servers. It’s not worth it.”

“I don’t give a shit. I’m not gonna stand by and do nothing while a decent guy gets convicted of a crime he didn’t commit.”

Cole nodded. “If you can come up with some ideas about where the police can look, tell me and I’ll let them know.”

Matt shook his head. “I know just who to ask. I’m on the verge of nailing Sara in accounting. She’s got access to all the firm’s accounts.”

“Be careful,” Cole warned.

“No worries, I’ve got it. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

A wave of unease swept through Cole. At this point, Matt was his best hope.

***

Ben finished the round of ammunition in his gun and lowered it, satisfaction settling in his chest as he eyed the target he’d been firing at. His time behind a desk hadn’t cost him his accuracy.

This week at the academy had reminded him how much he liked field work. When he got home, he planned to redistribute some of his paperwork so he could work on field investigations more. The hour he’d spent at the firing range this evening had been as therapeutic as an hour with a punching bag. His head was clearer now.

He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and glanced at the screen, disappointed to see that Layla hadn’t called or texted. What was clearer to him than anything was that he missed her like hell.

Did she miss him? She was stubborn enough to pretend she didn’t. He’d missed her since his first night here, when he’d reached out in the night to pull her against his chest and found only empty air.

He was busy here, which helped. He taught his physical combat class for ten hours a day and lifted weights after, which left him exhausted. And he was catching up with friends from the state police in the evenings. Every time he told them about Layla, a knot of tension developed in his gut over the way they’d left things.

Ben holstered his gun and waved at the trooper working at the firing range entrance as he exited. He wondered what Layla was doing at home. Was she alone? Still at the office? He pulled his phone back out and texted her.

Miss me?

Her response came through just a few seconds later:
Maybe.

A cold wind was blowing outside on the walk back to his room, but Ben pulled his coat closed and sat down on a bench anyway, writing another message.

I miss you too.

He waited. There were so many things he wanted to say to her. But he already felt exposed, having been the first one to reach out. And her disdain for the idea of him taking care of her . . . well, that shit
hurt
, dammit. He was financially secure and capable of providing for a family when they had one. Her headstrong nature was one of the things he loved most about her, but
fuck
, was it frustrating sometimes.

“Big Ben!” One of the guys he’d gone to the academy with was approaching. “Wanna go get some dinner?”

Ben stared at his phone a few more seconds. What he wanted was to call Layla and ask her to drive downstate and spend tomorrow evening with him. But damned if he’d be the one chasing after her every time.

“Yeah, let’s go,” he said, getting up from his seat. He stuck his phone back in his pocket, knowing she wouldn’t call. What he needed was a good dark beer and a long night of sleep. Preferably one with no dreams about Layla.

***

Emma smiled as she listened to the
swish-swish
of their baby’s heartbeat sounding through the small wand a nurse held to her rounded belly. Cole, who was sitting next to her, reached for her hand and brought it to his lips to kiss her fingers.

“That’s our baby,” she said softly. Cole leaned in and kissed her forehead.

“Baby’s heartbeat sounds good,” the nurse said. “The doctor will be in soon.”

She left the room, pulling the door closed behind her. A dreamy sensation had settled over Emma. She imagined her and Cole laying in bed on a Saturday morning, their baby in between them. Married or not, they’d be a family soon, and she couldn’t imagine having a family with anyone else.

Cole’s face was closed off when she looked at him.

“Hey, you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled weakly. “I just wish I was holding up my end of things right now.”

Emma took his hand and squeezed it. “You’re doing fine. The baby’s healthy, we’re healthy, and everything else will work itself out.”

Cole shook his head and sighed deeply. “I hate that you have to worry about money right now. And if your parents find out about the charges against me, they’ll hate me even more than they do already.”

“They don’t hate you.”

Cole arched his brows skeptically. “I get why it would bother them. I want to be worthy of you, Em. I can’t bring myself to propose again, because why would you want a guy accused of a crime who might be getting fired and disbarred?”

“I don’t care about that!” Emma said fiercely.

The door to the room swung open and their doctor walked in.

“How are we?” he asked smiling.

“Great,” Emma said, leaning back against the reclined exam table. Cole rubbed the back of his neck again and sadness settled over Emma. How the tables had turned. When they’d first gotten together, she’d been sure she wasn’t good enough for him. And now she’d managed to make him feel the same way, thanks once again to her insecurity.

Why hadn’t she accepted his proposal? She considered telling him she’d marry him, but . . . no. Not here. Not like this. It had to be for the right reasons, not because of his downtrodden mood.

The doctor rolled a stool over and sat down to talk to them. Emma was relieved. Focusing on the baby would get her mind off of all the other stress. She smiled as she realized her original source of stress had now become a way to relieve all her other worries. This baby already had a place in her heart.

Chapter Seven

Brian Winston was younger than Layla expected him to be – late 20’s at the most. She’d read up on the many accomplishments of the entrepreneur, but hadn’t looked at any photos of him. His straight dark brown hair was combed back neatly, just hitting the collar of the crisp white dress shirt he wore beneath a perfectly-cut navy suit. When he stood as she approached, his tall, lean frame drew the attention of two women at an adjacent table.

“Miss Carson,” he said, reaching out with a handshake, “It’s a pleasure.”

“Thank you, Mr. Winston.”

“Brian, please.”

She took her seat and smiled. “Okay. And it’s Layla. Though I’m afraid I won’t be able to give you the answer you’re looking for.”

His hazel eyes lit up. “I haven’t even made an offer yet. Surely you don’t believe in shooting a guy down quite this quickly?”

He was charming – well-cut, well-groomed and well-spoken. The sort of man Layla thought she wanted before meeting Ben. Men like Brian, she now knew, were just a little too perfect for her.

“I just don’t want you to think . . .” she started, fumbling for words. “I love my practice. I like being my own boss and setting my own course.”

Brian nodded. “Excellent. I’m not looking for an attorney who needs my direction. I want a self-starter who can let me know what needs to be done rather than vice versa.”

She was turning him down, but now she was intrigued about what she’d be saying no to.

“Why don’t you tell me a little more about your business?” she said, reaching for the wine menu.

His small, confident smile said he knew this was in the bag. It wasn’t.

“I own several different companies. I ordered us a bottle of Willamette pinot noir, by the way, I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh. That’s . . . perfect,” Layla said, replacing the menu.

“The one I want you to handle legal affairs for is called McHenry Enterprises. We’ll be acquiring real estate – some for development and some for future resale.”

“Why not Winston Enterprises?”

“My tech business already has that name. And I’m trying to keep this one under the radar for now. McHenry is my grandmother’s maiden name.”

The waiter poured wine into Layla’s glass. She held out a hand to stop him when it was half full.

“I did the corporate thing after law school,” she said to Brian. “Death by office. No thanks. But lots of attorneys would kill for this chance, so you won’t have any trouble finding one.”

Brian rubbed his chin thoughtfully, and a pang of longing for Ben hit Layla. He often stroked his jaw when he was deep in thought. What was he doing right now? Did he miss her as much as she missed him?

“Rather than being my in-house counsel, will you just do hourly work for me for now?” Brian asked. “I’ll pay you top dollar and try to find someone permanent in the meantime.”

Layla sipped her wine, holding back a small moan of satisfaction. God, was that good wine. Between not having her business built up yet, representing Cole for free and clients who stiffed her, she needed the money Brian was offering. But she also knew he didn’t plan on taking no for an answer to his ultimate goal of hiring her as his in-house. Plus, there were only so many hours in the day.

“If you’re positive you can live with that,” she said. “I have no intention of leaving my practice.”

“I respect that,” Brian said, raising his glass to his lips. He took a sip and met her eyes with a small smile. “I think we’ll work well together, Layla.”

He wanted her to be more than just his attorney -- that was clear by the hunger in his gaze. Maybe that was the only reason he was hiring her – to try getting her into bed. But what the hell did she care? She’d take his $500 an hour and keep him at arms’ length.

***

He hadn’t stolen a dime of money from his firm, but Cole still felt like he’d been punched when Matt said someone had set it up to look like he had.

“Cole?” Matt said, waving a hand in front of his face. “Did you hear me? You were set up, and I’ve got the proof right here.” He patted the folder sitting between them on a table at the bakery.