Now and Then (20 page)

“What the fuck is this?”

The voice sent a chill down Emma’s spine, because she didn’t even have to look to know who it was. But as Cole’s face turned toward the doorway, so did hers, and they both froze when they saw Layla.

Emma’s chest still heaved slightly from her arousal, and the sound of her breathing was all she could hear in the seconds that passed.
Cole discreetly moved his fingers out of her.

“Are you trying to hook up with my little sister now?” Layla asked Cole icily.

“Layla,” Emma said, her voice thick with emotion.

“Em, do not hook up with him. He’s probably trying to get back at me because we argued.” Layla’s eyes burned with emotion, and Emma wished she’d remembered her sister had a key. It wasn’t supposed to go down this way.

“Seriously – get out, Cole!” Layla yelled. “Stay away from my sister! Neither one of us wants anything to do with you.”

“Do you want me to go, baby?” he asked Emma softly. Layla’s
eyes flashed and she recoiled as though someone had struck her.

“How long has this been going on?” she asked.

“Layla,” Emma croaked, the tears that welled blurring her vision.

“How fucking long?” Layla screamed. “How fucking long, Emma?”

“A few months,” Emma said, gripping Cole’s neck for security.

Layla stepped back, aghast. Her face said it all, and Emma shook her head sadly.

“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” Emma said. “I was going to tell you Friday night.”

“Tell me what?” Layla demanded. “That you’ve been fucking him behind my back for
months
? You fucking whore! You backstabbing, lying bitch!”

“Layla,” Cole said, raising a hand. “Come on. Don’t t
alk about her that way. You and I have never been together, so I really don’t know why you’re so pissed.”

“I can’t believe this,” Layla said to Emma, dumbfounded. “You betrayed me and lied to my face about it so many times. For
months
?”

“W
ell, can’t you see why?” Emma cried. “I knew this would happen. It isn’t just a passing thing, Layla. I knew you were interested in him, and I wouldn’t have been with him for just a passing thing.”

“Oh, right,” Layla said, laughing bitterly. “This looks like a very serious relationship. Getting finger-fucked on the kitchen counter means true love.”

“Let’s sit down and talk about this,” Emma said, sliding down from the counter and pulling her skirt down.

“Like hell,” Layla said coldly. “Enjoy him, Em, because you lost me to get him.”

She turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her. Emma turned to Cole and sighed deeply. The numbness of her shock was wearing off, and now the guilt over the way Layla had found out about her and Cole was setting in. Her arms felt shaky as she buried her face in her hands.

“What do you need right now?” Cole asked.

“I don’t know,” she said sadly.

“
Well, you need to eat. Let’s finish dinner, I think we left the waffle iron on. We can talk if you want to, or not talk …”

He ran a hand over his hair and exhaled loudly.

“I just don’t know,” Emma said, wrapping her arms around herself.

“
Don’t change your mind about us because of this,” he said, his forehead creased with a serious expression. “I don’t want to lose you because of her.”

His worry was written on the lines of his face, and Emma covered the few steps separating them, laying a hand on his cheek.

“Don’t even think that,” she said. “I didn’t want her to find out this way, and I’ll have to atone for that. But I love you, and I’m not letting go of you because she doesn’t like it. If you still want this nearly broke, slightly neurotic artist and her moody cat, we’re yours.”

“I do, Em. And I want you to move in with me. I know you think--”

“Okay,” she said, meeting his eyes. “I will.”

“Really?” He grinned widely as he wrapped his arms around her. Emma leaned against him, worn out from the happiness, anger, anxiety and guilt that had all surged through her today.

Chapter 18

Emma sighed as she looked at a photo of Layla on her phone. They’d been at a farmer’s market over the summer, and Layla had picked up a large zucchini and was giving it a lusty gaze. No one else would think it was as funny as the two of them did.

Though she knew her sister’s shortcomings, Emma missed her. She wished her phone would ring with Layla’s song. Layla could be a hothead, and Emma was hoping that when she cooled down, she’d be more reasonable.

Getting their relationship out in the open brought Emma and Cole closer. They were both more at ease and focused on the details of her moving in with him. He’d insisted they have dinner with some of his high school friends the night before and she’d been nervous. Even at the age of 24, Emma harbored the insecurities of being an art nerd, and she didn’t want to spend an evening with the football players she’d never dared approach in high school.

But surprisingly, they’d been nice, and even funny. Sitting at a large
table with Cole’s arm draped around the back of her chair was really comfortable. It was a perfect evening until someone asked Emma about Layla, which hit her with a pang of sadness.

She scrolled through the photos on her phone, considering calling Layla. Maybe if she let Layla vent some more, she’
d decide to move on. Emma hated the tension between them, and she missed their daily conversations.

Maybe Mom will help me out and talk to Layla for me.
Or maybe I should just give it some time. Surely Layla won’t stay mad forever.

Though she knew Layla would calm down eventually, Emma was worried that their relationship was changed forever now. That Layla would never fully trust her or accept her and Cole being together. And Emma wasn’t sure she could forgive her sister’s lie or her behavior. Or maybe the problem was that she knew she could, she just didn’t know if she wanted to.

*****

The vibrant Christmas lights and colorful window displays in downtown Chicago made Emma giddy with excitement for the holiday. It was this – the decorations, the hot chocolate being sold on a street corner, bustling around in a wool coat with the throng of other shoppers – that made the bitter cold worth it.

“My parents will know I have a girlfriend when I walk in with wrapped presents,” Cole said, smiling. “That’s never happened. I’ve always been a gift card guy.”

“Well, I hope they like what we picked out,” Emma said, running her fingers over a delicate cream scarf that reminded her of Layla.

“They’ll love them. What are we doing for Christmas, by the way?”

“I don’t know.
” Emma sighed. “My parents are hosting dinner, and I’m sure your parents will be there, and Layla. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s Christmas with the tension between me and Layla, so I’m wondering if we should just skip it and do something else.”

“How would we explain that?” Cole asked, raising his eyebrows.

“With the truth, for once.”

“My parents aren’t going to be there, actually. Mom called me last night and said they’re leaving early Christmas Eve morning to go see Shay.
They’ll probably stay for Christmas Day, too. Apparently Shay’s really down, but I didn’t want to remind Mom she’s been down for more than a decade.”

Emma smiled as she reached into
the bag of fresh roasted nuts Cole offered.

“God, these things are good,” she said. “Why do they only sell them at Christmas?”

“Good question.” He paused, looking like he was going to say something else, but then his brows shot up questioningly. “Did you get all your shopping done?”

“Yeah, but … I want to go back to that store sometime and get that scarf for Layla.”

“Let’s go now,” Cole said, reaching to take a loaded shopping bag from her.

“Shopping with a man is the best. You carry all the heavy stuff.”

“For you, I do.”

Emma smiled warmly at him. “Cole, I think you should go to Indy with your parents and see Shay.”

He scoffed dismissively. “I’m not leaving you alone on Christmas,” he said.

“I won’t be alone. I’ll go to my parents’ house. They won’t care if Layla and I aren’t getting along as long as we don’t have guests. They’re used to it.”

“It’s been so many years, though, Em. It would be weird, for me and Shay.”

“Please do it, Cole. It would mean a lot to your parents, and to me.”

“It would mean a lot to you?” he asked, surprised.

“Yes. Just ple
ase go, okay? She’s your sister, and it’s Christmas.”

He nodded, looking thoughtful.
“Okay. Should I bring her a gift?”

“
Yes! That means we get to keep shopping.”

****

The flannel sheets and soft old quilt on Emma’s bed held in the warmth of their bodies, and Cole wanted to stay wrapped around her and go back to sleep. He groaned as he reached over to the nightstand and switched off the alarm on his phone. Emma shifted toward him, making it even harder to get up.

He could just make out her features in the darkness. Her bright eyes were closed,
allowing him to admire her long lashes. She was peaceful and perfect as she slept. He wanted to run a hand over her hair, taste the skin of her neck and feel her warm, flawless round breasts. Actually, he wanted even more. He wanted to make love to her; to feel the connection with her that reminded him everything would be okay. That he wasn’t alone anymore.

He’d felt it the night before, as
they’d had slow, sweet sex for the first time. Emma brought out his primal urge to fuck hard and fast, but he wanted her to know he was capable of more. When she said she loved him right before she came, Cole knew nothing had ever felt better. He’d held her body close against him as she fell asleep, thinking about the trip ahead of him.

It was what he needed to be thinking about now, instead of sex with Emma, and he begrudgingly climbed out of bed, tucking the covers in around her.
He approached the bathroom gingerly, running into boxes on the way. Emma’s apartment lease was up Dec. 31, and she was in the process of packing.

As he stepped into the hot shower, h
e thought about the last time he’d seen his sister. He was in law school then, and she was at home for a visit from the hospital over the summer. His parents were keeping her under wraps in the house, and she did okay for a while, but then she got emotional. She broke dishes, cried and worried the hell out of their mother all the time.

“Try not to make eye con
tact, it upsets her,” his Mom had whispered to him one morning. Cole went back to campus that afternoon and lived with friends for the rest of the summer. Damned if he’d be held responsible for her craziness.

He hadn’t even said goodbye to Shay, and he
wondered if she remembered it. Maybe she was angry about it. He didn’t want to be the cause of tension in the family on Christmas. He shook his head and chuckled at how similar his situation was to Emma’s.

After he showered and
dressed, he realized his parents were due out front any minute, so he shuffled through his bag and found the small black box tucked into clothes at the bottom. He’d never had a relationship serious enough for jewelry, and he hoped Emma liked the necklace he’d searched far and wide for. It would have been nice to see her face when she opened it, but warmth spread through him at the thought of her waking up to it. He sat the box on the pillow he’d slept on and walked around the bed to lean down and kiss Emma lightly.

“I’m going, baby,” he whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she said, sitting up to hug him tightly. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” he said as she
sleepily tucked herself back under the covers.

He spotted his f
ather’s Lexus when he walked out, and Cole threw his bag across the back seat before climbing in.

“Good morning,” his
Mom said from the front seat. “When you gave Dad this address, you said you were staying with a friend, but who is it? Did you sleep here last night?”

Cole tried to suppress his smile. His Dad hadn’t even gotten the car out of park yet.

“I did sleep here last night, and it’s my girlfriend’s apartment,” he said.

“Oh? Why haven’t we heard about this? Don’t you ever tell us anything? If you’re staying over, it sounds serious, is it?”

Cole’s eyes widened at his Mom’s rapid-fire questions.

“Mom, which question am I supposed to answer?”

His Dad chuckled lightly from the front seat, and his Mom shot him a quick glare.

“
I’d be happy with the answer to any of those questions,” she said, turning to give Cole a Mom look.

“Okay,” he said, smiling at her. “I have a girlfriend, Mom, and we’ve been seeing each other a few months. As for whether it’s serious -- we’re together, it’s exclusive, and I love her.”

Her mouth fell open and he tried to read her expression. Shock and slowly blooming happiness seemed to sum it up.

“Cole,” she said, drawing her fingers up to cover her mouth. “That’s wonderful. Tell us about her! When can we meet her?”

“You already have, Mom. It’s Emma Carson.”

Only a second elapsed before his Mom’s face broke out into the happiest grin Cole had ever seen from her.

“You’re with Emma Carson? And it’s serious?”

They’d established that, but Cole wanted to let his Mom enjoy the moment.

“Yes to both,” he said. His Dad was driving, but shot him a quick smile in the rearview mirror.

“That’s … Cole, it’s wonderful!
” his Mom gushed. “I couldn’t be happier. Emma’s a beautiful young woman. I always wondered if you and Layla would get together, but lately … wait! You said a few months! All those times we’ve all been over there! You were coming to see her! But you both acted like … why didn’t you want any of us to know?”

“Emma was worried about Layla, because Layla was interested in me for a bit, too,” Cole said.

“Both of those gorgeous girls fighting over you?” Cole’s Dad grinned from the front seat.

“Well, no … I mean, sort of. Layla did find out
about me and Em the other day, and she is really pissed.”

“Cole,
language
,” his mother cautioned.

“Mom, I’m 27 years old. I can say pissed.”

“It’s vulgar,” she said.

Cole rolled his eyes, leaning back against the seat to relax during the drive. His mother chattered excitedly from the front seat.

“Tom, don’t you remember me saying after that dinner that Cole and Emma would make a nice couple? I must have sensed it somehow, with my mother’s intuition. Layla’s a little bit crass, anyway. I’d never want Eliza to know I said that, but it’s the truth.”

As he drifted to sleep, Cole wondered what awaited them at Tall Oaks Treatment Center, where Shay had lived for several years.

Does she look different? Is she all drugged up? Will she remember me? Does she remember the last time she saw me? Or worse, the time when I was in college?

Then – Five years ago

Cole stretched his legs out on the chaise lounge in his parents’ back yard. His college graduation party had wound almost all the way down, and now he sat al
one with his high school friends Riley and Will. He hadn’t had anything alcoholic to drink until his aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents had all left, but he was making up for it now.

“Cooler’s almost empty,” Riley said, lifting out a bottle of beer. Cole got up from his chair to go in and get more. It still felt weird drinking in front o
f his parents, but he was 22, and he needed to get over it.

“Mom, do we have more beer?” he called, pulling open the refrigerator.

“Yes, it’s out in the garage, but I don’t want anyone drinking and driving,” she said from the living room. Cole smiled as he walked out to the old refrigerator in the garage. He’d realized that no matter how old he was, his Mom would always mother him. There was something familiar and comfortable about it.

He fished through the cases of soda and extra trays of party snacks until he found two cardboard cases o
f bottled beer. As he carried them out through the kitchen, he stopped for a second as he heard a female voice on the deck. When he walked through the sliding glass doors, his heart skipped a beat when he saw Shay leaning against the railing, staring stoically out into the back yard. Her hair hung to her shoulders limply and she chewed her bottom lip. His parents had brought her home for the weekend, but she’d stayed in her room for the entire party and no one even knew she was there but Cole and his parents.

“Who’s this freaky chick?” Will asked in a low voice as Cole bent down to fill the cooler up. Cole bristled, reminding himself not to be defensive. Shay could be unnerving.

“This is my sister, Shay,” he said, reaching for the beer he’d started before going to the garage and finishing it in one long drink. His friends both looked at him with surprise.