Nowhere Boys

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Authors: Elise Mccredie

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BOOK: Nowhere Boys
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contents

felix: into the woods

andy: man vs wild

felix: there’s no place like home

jake: o mother where art thou?

sam: same sam but different

felix: it’s a miracle right?

jake: to be or not to be

sam: mg 4 sc

andy: a very hungry ghost

felix: bee warned

felix: earth water air fire

jake: father go figure

felix: counting crows

sam: back to school

andy: who let the dogs in?

felix: a bona fide hell-bent-on-murder demon

jake: we’re going on a wormhole hunt

sam: not out of the woods yet

felix: the unmaking of …

sam: dating the demon

jake: happy mother’s day

andy: a chinese bear grylls

felix: the fifth element

jake: farewell bremin

felix: the final battle

we’re home, freak!

acknowledgements

about the author

copyright page

felix:
into the woods

Felix’s fingers thrashed at the strings of his electric guitar as if he were trying to do it damage. The chords screeched out of his amp in ragged harmony with his vocals.

‘Water, fire, earth and air
Elements that we all share.’

As Felix sang, he stared at his closed bedroom door, willing it to stay shut. From the lounge room he could hear the muffled sound of his parents’ raised voices. He turned up his amp to cover the sound. He didn’t have much time.

‘Water wash our sins away
Earth guide us to a place.’

He was pretty sure he had it right now. He looked at the black foolscap diary that lay open on his desk – his Book of Shadows. Anything macabre or interesting went in there: pictures he’d downloaded from the net, stories about weird happenings, poems and, of course, the lyrics for this song.

‘Wind brings with it fear
Flames of fire we must face.’

He shut his eyes. He’d been working on the song for weeks and knew it off by heart. His skin prickled in anticipation as the guitar screeched to its climactic finale.

‘Walk upon this earth again
Walk upon this earth –’

An almighty banging on the door cut Felix off.

His dad put his head into his room, the stress clear on his face. ‘Jeez, mate. Can you keep it down? Have you seen your mum’s car keys?’

Felix stopped the recording on his phone and sighed. At least he’d made it to the chorus. ‘Nah.’

‘We need to get Oscar to hospital. Come and help us look.’

Felix switched off the amp and put down his guitar. He shoved the Book of Shadows into his schoolbag.

Ever since his brother’s accident, his parents had been on a knife edge. If Oscar got even the slightest temperature they’d freak out. Oscar being in a wheelchair meant that if an infection took hold it could have severe consequences. Felix tried not to dwell on what that might mean in non-doctor speak. Oscar was never going to walk again. How much more severe could the consequences get?

Grabbing his bag, Felix headed into the cluttered lounge room. His mum was pivoting around like an oversized spinning top. ‘I’ve even checked the flowerpots. Ken, you must have taken them in your suit to the drycleaners.’

In the middle of the maelstrom, Oscar sat in his wheelchair looking flushed but calm, a thermometer stuck in his mouth.

He looked up at Felix and rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t tell them,’ he muttered, ‘but I’m actually just hot from the 10k run I did this morning.’

Felix smiled. Oscar was amazing. Here he was, stuck in a wheelchair, and he could still make jokes about it.

‘I liked your song,’ Oscar continued. ‘Very goth metal.’

‘Thanks, bro,’ said Felix, trying for lighthearted to match Oscar’s tone.

‘Ken!’ snapped Felix’s mum. ‘Did you hear me?’

‘Felix!’ snapped Felix’s dad. ‘Don’t just stand there. Help your mother!’

Felix sighed and headed over to his mum’s handbag, which was sitting on the lowboy. He idly looked inside. There at the bottom – surprise, surprise – was a set of keys.

‘These what you’re looking for?’

‘Thank God,’ said his mum, snatching them off him and wheeling Oscar out the front door. ‘Let’s go! You start the car, Ken.’

Felix watched his family tumble out of the house in a flurry of anxiety. He put his hand up in a gesture of farewell. ‘Thanks for your help, Felix. No problem, Mum,’ he muttered to himself.

His mum turned back and for a second Felix thought she was going to thank him after all. ‘Oh, and Felix? Remember the dishwasher needs unstacking. And if we’re not back by tonight the recycling needs to …’

Felix spotted the permission slip for his school excursion lying on the lowboy. ‘You haven’t signed my permission slip!’ he interrupted, grabbing it and running after them. ‘The excursion’s today!’

In the driveway his dad was lifting Oscar into the back seat and his mum was stowing Oscar’s wheelchair in the boot.

Felix watched them from the doorway. What was the point?

Oscar looked at him through the car window. He mouthed a melodramatic, ‘Save me.’

Felix gave his brother a small smile and made his way back inside. The place was a disaster zone, but he didn’t care. The dishwasher could wait. He had more important things to worry about.

He looked in the hall mirror. His dyed-black hair was growing out and his mousy-brown roots were peering conservatively through. He flicked his fringe across to cover them as much as possible, adjusted his lip ring, hoicked his bag over his shoulder and shoved his headphones in. His stomach rumbled. He hadn’t eaten breakfast. But there was no time for that now. He couldn’t afford to miss this excursion, no matter what.

Slamming the front door behind him, Felix hit play on his phone to listen to the song he’d recorded. It sounded good. Kind of powerful.

A hand grabbed one of his headphones.

Felix turned to see Ellen, his neighbour and best friend since forever. She was dressed in head-to-toe black, like Felix. She fell into step with him as she shoved the headphone into her ear.

‘Woah, metal as,’ she grinned over at Felix, her dark purple lipstick making the whites of her teeth look bright. ‘You write it?’

Felix nodded, then produced his permission slip. ‘Hey, can you sign this?’

Ellen looked at him for a beat. ‘You’re not serious.’

‘Yeah, I am.’

‘You’ve got an excuse not to go on the stupid bush thing, and you’re not going to take it?’

Felix shrugged. ‘I’m kinda looking forward to it.’

‘You hate nature,’ she said, looking at him closely.

Felix looked away. Did she suspect something? ‘Yeah,’ he said slowly, trying to come up with something convincing. ‘But it’s better than hanging around here.’ He gestured back to the house.

Ellen looked sympathetic. ‘Bad?’

‘More than bad,’ he said truthfully. ‘Most days they don’t even look at me.’

Ellen put up her arm and then, as though not quite sure what to do with it, she patted him.

He looked at her hand on his arm. ‘What are you doing?’

Her arm fell to her side. ‘Nothing.’

‘I’m not a dog, y’know.’

Felix didn’t want sympathy. He’d had enough of teachers and relatives all wanting him to ‘talk’. Talking didn’t make him feel better and it definitely didn’t change anything.

‘Give it, then.’ Ellen held out her hand. She scribbled Kathy Ferne’s signature and thrust the form back at Felix.

‘Not bad,’ said Felix. He could always count on Ellen.

‘Yeah well, I should be using my skills for identity theft not lame-o parental fraud. So hey, check out my boots. I bought them on eBay.’

Ellen lifted her skirt to reveal black platform boots with dangerous purple spikes protruding from the sides.

Felix smiled. ‘Awesome.’

A large bus was parked out the front of Bremin High. Mr Bates, the year ten science teacher, was piling orienteering markers into the luggage compartment. Felix felt the butterflies in his stomach start flapping around. He really should have eaten some

Boof!

A ball hit Felix hard in the head.

‘And it’s a goal for Bremin!’ yelled a voice.

Felix turned to see Jake Riles, leader of the school jocks, pumping his fist in the air.

Felix scowled and rubbed his head. Jake’s best friend, Trent, stepped in front of him and grabbed the ball.

‘Oops. Sorry, freak. You’re so white and skinny I thought you were a goalpost.’

Jake cracked up.

‘Then you didn’t score a goal, did you, loser?’ Ellen jumped in. ‘You scored a point.’ She turned to Felix. ‘You okay? I’ve got some arnica if you want.’

‘Aww, the she-freak’s gonna look after da poor he-freak,’ drawled Jake.

Felix bit his lip. Jake Riles wasn’t going to get to him. Not today.

Mr Bates had scored a mini megaphone and was yelling into it. ‘Okay, everybody! Time to board. Please do so in an orderly manner. I’ll need everyone to present their permission slips to me before getting on.’

Ellen nudged Felix. ‘Check out the boy band.’

A Subaru had pulled up beside the bus and the three Conte boys – Sam, Vince and Pete – spilled out.

Felix watched as their mum blew Sam a kiss. He wondered what it would feel like to have parents that actually liked you.

Sam put his skateboard down and glided across to where his girlfriend, Mia, was waiting for him.

Mia was the most popular girl at Bremin High. Felix turned away. Sam’s perfect, shiny life was just a bit too much on an empty stomach.

Felix and Ellen handed in their permission slips and made their way down the aisle of the bus. As usual, the back seats had been claimed by Jake and Trent’s gang.

As Felix slid into a seat next to Ellen, he felt something hard and wet hit the back of his head. A spitball.

‘When was the last time you rejects washed?’ called Jake.

Felix ignored him. He looked around the bus, searching the faces to check everyone he needed was there. The bus driver started the engine and the doors swung shut.

Felix jumped up from his seat. They couldn’t leave yet! ‘Mr Bates?’

Bates was taking the roll on his clipboard. ‘Yes, Felix?’

‘We’re not going right now, are we?’

‘Bus leaves at 10 a.m. sharp.’

‘But the freak needs to do wee wees, Mr Bates,’ called Trent.

‘That’s enough,’ said Bates firmly. ‘You’ve got a problem, Felix?’

Felix thought quickly. He had to stall for time. ‘It’s just … I’m not sure that everyone …’

Out the window, he saw a figure running towards the bus. It looked like a backpack with legs attached. As the figure got closer he recognised Andy Lau, the nerd who’d won the district science fair three years in a row. He was out of breath and weighed down by an enormous backpack, complete with sleeping roll, multiple water flasks, a flyswat and a fishing net. The bus doors hissed open for him.

Felix sat down, relieved. ‘It’s nothing, sir. All good to go.’

Ellen looked at him curiously. ‘What was that about?’

‘Nothing.’ Felix looked away. He’d never actually kept a secret from Ellen before. They told each other everything. But this? Felix was pretty sure not even Ellen would understand this. Or if she did, she’d want to be part of it, and Felix couldn’t risk that.

A drop of water hit the window. Great. One disaster avoided and now it was going to pour with rain? The whole excursion would probably be cancelled.

‘Mr Bates?’ Jake called out.

‘Yes, Jake?’

‘Looks like it’s going to piss down.’

‘Language, Riles.’

‘Sorry. Looks like it’s going to piss down,
sir
.’

Laughter filled the bus.

Bates was not amused.

‘The excursion will continue regardless of weather. You will be challenged to find a way to work with the elements to achieve your goal.’

Felix never thought he’d be grateful that Mr Bates was the sort of teacher who didn’t let anything get in the way of his plans. He was the kind of teacher who even turned up at school on teachers’ strike days. Normally that was a massive bummer, but today – well, today Felix almost liked Bates. Almost.

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