Nuit Noire (9 page)

I am a little nervous, a silly thing to be when it is I that had suggested that Gauthier could let us into his father’s club. I do not know why I want to go back there. It must be a death wish or something, or maybe I am just ready to move on with my life, which means being a teenager.

Before dad died, before I moved here, before I knew about draugrs and xanas and life sucking beings, this would have been a night I’d have been excited about. I’d have lied to my mother that I was spending a night at a friend’s place, and spent hours dressing up with that friend, and later we’d go to the club. Just like I’ve done this time.

Jennifer and Mandy asked me to go over to their place and dress up for the night out, but I opted to accept Aiki’s invitation instead, another cheerleader with an easy smile and beautiful dark eyes. She’s sweet, and of all cheerleaders, the least superficial. I think she’s the only one I trust to hangout with me because of my personality, and not because she wants to get into my brother’s pants or be in with his basketball crew.

“Oh my goodness! You look amazing Aiki!” I exclaim when she walks around in her low cut red dress. “And you’ve got a booty on you too..”

“Shut up!” She tells me, shoving me playfully. “You look drop dead gorgeous too,” she adds. “That Brit will be all over you tonight..”

“Now you shut up!” I tell her, throwing a lipgloss at her that she expertly grabs midair and dabs onto her lips. We laugh again as we resume with our makeup.

Maryanne, the freshman cheerleader with wavy blonde hair arrives five minutes later, a pillow under her arm and a worn duffel bag that Aiki’s parents assume contains Maryanne’s sleepover items, walks into the room and promptly shuts the door behind her.

“Sorry I’m so late guys. I had to babysit my kid brother until mom got back from her shift at the hospital.” Maryanne’s mom is a doctor at Greenfield’s Memorial. “I just couldn’t make it earlier,” she says, slightly out of breath, tripping onto her pantyhose that she’s trying to wear hurriedly, and landing on her butt on the floor.

“Take it easy,” I say chuckling as I help her up. “Just relax.”

“The guys will be here soon to pick us up..” She starts to say.

“She’s worried that Dave will come before she’s ready,” Aiki taunts.

“You like Dave?” I ask her with widened eyes.

“No I don’t..”

“Yes she does,” Aiki tells me laughing falling back onto the bed. “She likes him so much that she speaks gibberish when he’s about.”

“Really?” I ask amused, falling back onto the bed to lie beside Aiki, turning towards her while still laughing, in time to see the confirming nod she gives me.

“Uh-huh!” Aiki confirms.

“Good taste,” I tell Maryanne. “He’s cute!” Her blush is unmistakable.

“And what about you?” I now ask Aiki. “Who are you crushing on?”

“No one,” she says, shying away.

“No one, huh? Is that why you can’t meet my eyes? Tell me, who is she crushing on, Maryanne?”

“I’m still trying to find out. She won’t tell me, no matter what.”

“I suspect that it’s someone in the basketball team,” I say, gratified when Aiki turns away from me, avoiding my eyes, moving over to help Maryanne with zipping up her dress. Yep, it’s definitely someone in the basketball team.

“I’m gonna find out sooner or later, Aiki dear!”

“I am not crushing on anyone..”

“Nonsense. No teenager is crushless. It’s virtually impossible!”

“Speak for yourself, Sophia.”

“I am speaking for myself,” I tell her laughing.

“Does that mean then that you like Gauthier?”

“I said no such thing..”

“Uh-huh! There!” Aiki exclaims, jumping before my face and honestly startling me a little. “You like him! I see it.”

“Haha! you see your own imaginations.” I laugh at her face.

“Is that why you’re blushing?”

“What are you talking about? I’m black. You can’t possibly tell when I’m blushing,” I point out laughing. She momentarily stops to think of a counter argument, and Maryanne now joins me in laughing at her.

“Yeah, I know I can’t see you blush but ummh..”

“But ummh..” I taunt still laughing, reduced to the floor, fears of ruining the cream dress I am moulded in pushed to the back of my mind.

“I can tell when you’re blushing because you look away and attempt to cover up your nervousness with humour,” she says quickly, pinning me to the floor and forcing me to look at her. “Is that enough proof for you?” She asks to my face, proudly.

“You think you’ve got me figured out now, huh?” I ask her, my laughter dying. “Wait until I find out who you’re crushing on,” I tell her.

“Okay you two. Dampen down your L-word action, for I think the boys are here..”

“Maryanne, it’s Dave picking us up, not
the boys
. Just say his name, and try for once not to blush as you do so,” Aiki says. “Now
your blush
I can clearly see.”

We struggle to keep our giggles at a minimum as we crawl out of Aiki’s window and run in the cold night air across her backyard towards the streets where a green jeep is packed, hidden in the shadows of the night.

“You guys ready to party the night away?” Dave asks when I close the door behind us.

“I know Maryanne is..”

“Aiki!” Maryanne and I both scream at her, and she just develops into happy laughter, and we are unable to stop ourselves from joining her. Dave only shakes his head bemused before starting up the car.

Dave parks two blocks away from the club because he does not want to pay for parking, which forces us to walk in the biting cold with our skimpy outfits and uncomfortable high-heeled shoes. Maryanne does not seem to mind though, especially because she spends the whole time talking with Dave, his jacket draped over her shoulders. Aiki and I walk ahead of them, sending each other amused faces whenever we catch ear of whatever they are saying.

“We’re mean,” I whisper to her, when we snicker upon hearing Maryanne go on about her new kittens. She’s been talking our ears off about them. I love kittens, but clearly not as much as she does.

“No,” Aiki says, hooking her hand into mine. “We’re fun,” she says. I agree with her about that. I foresee a future where our friendship grows, and the thought warms me.

I hear the low sounds of a distant night club before I see the bright neon sign when we round the corner.
Nuit Noire.
The source of my current nightmares. My steps now falter, and if it wasn’t for Aiki’s strong hold around me as she leads me forward, I doubt I’d have been able to keep walking forward.

“Hey guys and girls!” Jennifer’s voice calls, and I make her out when she runs towards us from the arms of a tall dark figure that must be Collin. “You made it!” She exclaims, throwing herself into Aiki’s arms, shoving me off to the side rudely. I guess she’s still mad over my outburst weeks ago about the kind of friends I’d like to have.

“Come on girls,” she says, hooking her hand into Maryanne’s and Aiki’s hand, and walking forward with them, snubbing Dave and I.

“I guess we aren’t cool enough to walk beside the queen bee,” Dave laughs mirthlessly.

“I never expected the honour,” I say sarcastically, making Dave laugh some more.

“I wish I was as brave as you,” he says.

“You and me both,” I tell him, and he looks back at me confused. “I’m not that brave,” I explain. “I just have a mouth on me,” I say, hooking my hand into his and walking hand in hand to join the rest of
our friends
standing outside the club.

“You made it, kiddo!” I exclaim, bumping into my brother who waves a finger at my face again.

“Don’t call me kiddo again, Sophia, or I’ll make you pay.” I laugh at his face.

“You make me pay? You are now deluding yourself because you grew taller. As far as I remember, I always won our fights.”

“I was taught never to hit girls.”

“Whatever gets you to sleep at night!” I mock laughing.

Jennifer huffs, pacing about with impatience as the cold wind bites against my cheeks.

“Tell him his date is here, so he can come order these goons to let us in,” Jennifer frets.

“Real classy, Jenny!” I retort. “Just real classy of you!”

“Whatever!”

The door opens behind the burly bouncer right then, and Gauthier steps out, looking great in his black pants and a black dress shirt. He nods to the bouncer, steps aside, and the bouncer waves us in.

As I make to walk in, I look up to Gauthier’s face, and catch the appreciative glance he sends me, which causes my whole body to heat up with excitement.

“Beautiful,” the single whisper escapes his lips, fanning my face, warming the air around me as I step into the well packed nightclub, my friends cheerful whooping with excitement.

“I approve!” Tony says, placing his hands around my shoulder and pulling me into his arms for a half embrace.

“Approve what?” I ask laughing.

“Gauthier.. What?” He asks when I burst out laughing.

“Dude grants you entrance to a nightclub once and you’re willing to hand me into his arms! Honestly Tony, I hope I’m worth more than that to you.” He cringes his nose before answering.

“At the moment, I am not entirely sure,” he says, just as Mandy comes to cut in, wanting to dance with him.

I step back, only to be stopped by the strong gravitational pull that alerts me whenever I come too close to Gauthier. I turn around to find him there, looking at me with those studious eyes of his.

“What?” I ask smiling.

“You’re beautiful,” he says again, and I glow. I’m sure I glow, for I feel myself glow from inside out.

“I’d ask you to dance, but that touch of death thing is a hindrance,” I say with a smile.

“I know,” he says. “That’s why I have to get out of here- the dance floor. Come with me to the VIP area.”

“To your family?” I ask. He nods. He must see the fear in my eyes.

“They won’t hurt you,” he rushes to say.

“Your father..”

“I know he scared you, but he never meant to. Father doesn’t know what it is to be human.”

“And you do?”

“I could tell you if you join me.”

“I don’t think I’m ready to meet your family again as yet,” I tell him.

“Alright then,” he says. “Wanna get out of here with me?”

“I just arrived,” I tell him, just as he swiftly moves out of the way of a staggering drunk.

“I can’t stay,” he tells me. “People might bump into me.”

“Then you go,” I tell him. He looks at me with unreadable eyes, before walking out the doors.

It only takes me a couple of seconds, before I decide to walk out the doors after him, my face heating up when I find him waiting just beyond the doors with a knowing smile.

“Wipe that smug smile of your face,” I tell him, moving to walk in step with him as he turns and walks on too.

“It’s not a smug smile. It’s a happy one,” he says quietly.

His sports car is parked just around the corner, and I am glad for the warmth when he pulls the door shut.

“Where to now?” I ask him.

“How about the place we first met,” he says, turning on the ignition.

The silence is frightening as it is endearing as my high-heeled pumps sound against the old wooden planks that make up the pier. Gauthier walks in step behind me, his footsteps so quiet, his warm breath fanning the back of my neck.

I stop when I get to the furthest edge, and lower myself down, sure now that my dress is destroyed. Gauthier lowers himself gracefully beside me, his face looking away from me.

“You have something to ask me,” he says as a matter-of-fact.

“I do,” I tell him. “How old are you exactly?”

“I died five hundred and eleven years ago.”

“Where’s your previous girlfriend?”

“What?”

“Your.. what did you call it.. xana before me?”

“You are my xana.”

“What about your previous girlfriends?”

“There’s none before you.”

“And all this time..?”

“All this time what?”

“Who have you been with?”

He looks at me with surprised eyes.

“No one, of course. I’ve been waiting for you.”

“For five hundred years!” I exclaim in disbelief.

“Yes. I told you that I’ve waited for you for a very long time.” I look at him with disbelief. “You don’t believe me.”

“No. No I don’t. How could you wait for so long for me without being sure..”

“I knew you’d come. Some draugrs get skeptic after a while, but I kept believing. Every draugr does eventually get a xana. So I have patiently waited for you. My brother, Hemming, toys with potential xanas. Teaches them to avoid dying at his touch, and he couples with them for fun, as he waits for his true xana. I have always wanted something permanent. The real deal. Something that will never change, that is truly mine to have. So I waited for you.” His words are both beautiful as they are disturbing.

“But it will change,” I tell him. “I’ll die one day. I’m human, not an immortal like you.”

“I’m an undead..”

“Yeah, well. I’m not an undead immortal like you. I’ll eventually die with old age or something.”

“You will, eventually,” he says. I am even more puzzled than before this QnA began. “I hope for you to live a full mortal life. But when you die, you’ll die as my xana for I will have bonded with you. You will therefore automatically arise as a draugr without father even having to touch you.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes, it is,” he says nodding, his outline clear tonight as the moon is bright, and the night is not as dark as I know it can get.

“What if I don’t want to.. be your xana?”

“Don’t you want to be my xana?” He asks quietly, his voice wistful.

“I.. I don’t know. You’re talking about making me your mate for eternity. I barely know you..”

“We’ll get to know each other with time.”

“..I don’t even know if I want to get to know you. You creep me out. And you suck people’s lives away for food. It’s all just so freakish.”

“I know..”

“How do I become your xana anyway?”

“You are my xana,” he tells me. “I just have to teach you to not die at my touch. Then when we couple, I’ll forge an unbreakable bond with you at the..” My breath catches at the look he gives me. “At the height of our gratification,” he finishes.

“Oh,” I say, swallowing because my throat suddenly feels very dry. “I’m not sure I want to..
couple
with you,” I finish nervously.

“Are you sure about that?” He asks in that unsettling whisper voice of his, the words swimming around me, hanging between us, increasing the tension in the air between us.

“Yes,” I say, but my voice is shaking and lacks conviction. This seems to give him a reason to smile. “How will you forge the bond with me?” I go on to ask.

“I am yet to find out,” he says quietly, his voice attempting to mask the excitement the topic of bonding awakes in him. “No one will tell me the details, but I suspect it will be quite.. something,” he finishes. I am now struggling to breathe, my body so heated that I am debating slipping into the cool waters around us.

We remain in silence for a while, and the silence only seems to make me more aware of him. The way he taps a finger softly onto the wooden planks we sit on, the perfect outline of his face and body in the moonlight. I watch his fingers most, his index finger tapping softly, his little finger lying right next to where my left little finger rests. So close that if I move just slightly, I’ll touch his gloved hand. Suddenly all I want is to touch him, to reach out and touch that gloved hand. If I just move my hand an inch, then another..

“Sophia don’t. Not yet anyway.” What’s wrong with me! I wonder to myself. He kills people just with his touch! “I’ll teach you to stay alive with me and then we can touch..”

“Have you ever killed people?” I rush to ask, needing to break this dizzying spell of wild emotions. The long silences that stretches between us when I say this causes my heart rate to quicken.

“Yes,” he says.

“How many?”

“Very many.”

“How many exactly?”

“I don’t know. I stopped counting,” he says curtly. A cold sweat breaks at the back of my neck and trickles down my spine.

“Accidental?”

“Most of them. But those that occurred right after I was reborn were deliberate.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, not wanting to believe that he has a single cruel bone in his body.

“Exactly that. Deliberate. I wanted to touch human beings even though I knew it would kill them. I was constantly craving their touch, taunted by the life flowing in them, needing to inhale it, touch it, taste it, loose myself in it. I was like a junkie. Every new draugr is like a junkie. My father taught me to control my urges, to take what I need by just inhaling, without touching or tasting. It’s harder to control when touching or tasting.”

“So how exactly would we work,” I start, stopping to clear my throat when he turns his face towards me and I notice the fiery orange glow in his eyes that I now know he gets when hungry. “How would we work if we were to be together, when your touch kills.. How would I learn to..”

“You want to learn?” He asks hopefully.

“I am just curious, as a hypothetical situation,” I say.

“I see,” he says quietly. “I’d teach you.”

“What would you teach me?”

“For example, I’d tell you to fight me for the air, for your space. Don’t just give it all to me like you are right now.”

“I’m not giving you anything,” I say breathlessly.

“Yes you are,” he whispers back. “And it is so difficult not to just take it all away. A struggle really. With others I can maintain my calm, resist without a struggle. With you though..”

“What with me,” I whisper. I watch him turn away and close his eyes, but not fast enough that I miss the reddening of his eyes.

“Let’s just say I’d be happier when I don’t constantly fear that I’ll slip up and kill you, just when I have finally found you. I couldn’t..” he shudders now. “I couldn’t lose you now, Sophia.” I am unsure on how to react to this.

“Teach me,” I opt to say instead, and the sigh of relief he lets off is unmistakable.

“Close your eyes. Do it,” he urges softly. I look at him hesitantly, but then decide to do as he says. “Breathe slowly. Calm down your heart. I can hear its irregular beating. Just keep your eyes closed, relax and try calm down.”