Obesssion (29 page)

“
Suki, I can’t just walk away from you. You said you loved me.” My throat had constricted, the pain in my chest radiating out. “I don’t know what else I can say. Will you give me a chance?
Please
?”

Her eyes flicked round the room.
“And your secret camera, is that switched on now?”

I shook my head. I didn’t trust myself to speak.

“Can you show me? Can you prove it?”

That was easy enough. I fetched my equipment from the case where I’d repacked it earlier. She examined the cameras with interest, turning them over in her hands before laying them on the bedside table. She lay her rings beside them, they sparkled in the weak early morning light.

When she turned to me, she had a mischievous look that made my heart ache afresh. She patted the bed next to her and I sat, like an obedient puppy, unable to take my eyes away.

“
Gabe paid you to sleep with me. Shall we make sure he gets what he paid for?”

Even as my cock twitched in excitement, I laughed in disbelief.
“Revenge fucks don’t work, Suki. And I’m speaking from experience.”

She gave me a real smile now, the one I fell in love with.
“You are a gentleman, aren’t you?” Her hand crept to mine, closing round it. I winced and she released me instantly. “You didn’t say how you did this.”

I smiled ruefully.
“I, ah, punched your husband.”

To my amusement, she threw back her head and laughed, slipping her hand carefully into mine, avoiding the damage.
“Did you see the scratch on his face?” I nodded, entranced. “I did that. And I kneed him in the crown jewels. Hopefully, his day sucked, too.”

I risked teasing her.
“I’m scared now. Are you going to beat me up, too?”

Her face became serious.
“Gabe had me pinned to the wall. He was hurting me, Josh, and not for the first time.” Her other hand came up to rest against my cheek, her eyes holding mine. “I have to tell you. I went back to our hotel last night, with the express purpose of catching him in bed and attacking him while he slept. If he hadn’t checked out, I could well have been locked up in a police cell by now. I’m
never
going to let anyone do that to me again.”

She yawned, covering her mouth delicately.
“What about you, Josh? You must be tired. We could sleep together without having sex.” I might have been able to resist, had she not given me a Suki-version of my lost-puppy face. “I really need you to hold me.”

15.4 Suki

When I woke up next, it was to find Josh spooned behind me, one arm draped over my waist, the other acting as a pillow, his warm—slightly whisky-scented—breath against my ear. We had several layers between us. I was beneath the covers while Josh slept, fully dressed, on top. His breaths were slow and relaxed, and I figured he was sound asleep. I wriggled my left arm free and peered at my watch, enough light filtered through the curtains to see it easily.
13:15
. The horrors of the day before began to loom and I pushed them away. Not right now. Not when I was the most comfortable I’d been in years.

How much could I trust Josh? I sensed there were huge gaps in what he’d told me. And what he did…
God
, it sounded perverted. But at the same time, he made me feel safe, confident in myself. I proudly told Gabe I’d fallen in love with Josh, so how much of that was still true? With care, I rolled over to face him, examining him as he slept, admiring his ridiculously long, dark eyelashes. He looked younger asleep, totally relaxed. I cautiously ran one finger down his fuzzy cheek, enjoying the springy feel of his bristles. There was so much I didn’t know about him, so much I wanted to find out. Did I dare to kiss him again?

His breathing changed rhythm, a quick breath, a pause, then a long deep drag of air as his eyes flicked open.
“Mmmm, I like this dream.” He rearranged his arms around me, easing me closer, but still with a bundle of bedclothes between us.

He looked irresistible. I couldn’t help smiling.
“This isn’t a dream.”

“
Oh?” His eyes opened wide, a perfect blend of innocence and devilment. “Then I must have died and gone to heaven.”

I giggled.
“Nope, try again.” This could have been so awkward, but he kept the banter going.

“
Being in bed with you doesn’t meet my definition of hell. Unless” —he pulled a scared face— “you’re about to whip off a mask, Scooby-Doo-style, and you’re really my arch-enemy underneath.”

He would be so easy to love.

I closed the remaining distance between us, brushed my lips across his, and kissed him hard. I saw his eyes darken, fill with longing, and then he was kissing me back. Breaking away far too soon, his breathing ragged, his voice hoarse. “No, Suki. Not like this.” He pulled back.

I traced the shape of his lips with one finger.
“Why not?”

White teeth playfully nipped at me.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you… and I don’t want you to regret this and hate me.” I heard a ring of truth. I wriggled and moved, Josh now lay on his back with me propped up on his chest. Even sleepy, with bedhead hair, he was delectable.

I frowned as I thought.
“I don’t understand why you do what you do. But I don’t hate you, Josh.”

“
Did
. I’m not going to do it anymore.”

“
Huh?”

He reached for my hands, pulling them together and encasing them in his own. A nervous smile.
“I don’t want you to freak out here, Suki. Will you listen? Please?”

I nodded. He blinked as he seemed to brace himself.
“That part of my life is over. I want you to be able to trust me. And I’m going to do this properly,” —he smiled, my heart melted—”not just make love to you until you can’t think of anything but me.” His eyes burned with desire. “Although, we’ll do that as well.”

15.5 Gabe

I slept fitfully, waking several times to find there was no sign of Suki and to remember her betrayal again. Her bold assertion that she was leaving me.

That pain and shock had worn off now, leaving a simmering cauldron of resentment. My damn nose hurt like a son of a bitch, I was pretty certain I had two black eyes and the scratch on my face—Suki’s parting gift…  I looked a mess and I’d felt better. My mood was grim when I walked into the briefing room at the track.

Jon Craigowan was already there, laughing and joking with the engineers. Mr-Fucking-Popular. Less than a week ago, he’d been all but crucified by the press, but the cocky bastard didn’t seem to care.

I made vague noises about a crazed fan and waited for an opportunity to speak to Craigowan alone. “I’ve no doubt Suki ran straight to your waiting arms.” He’d make a good poker player; his face didn’t give anything away. “So you can give her a message. Remind her she has to see me if she wants her passport back.”

This time I saw a glimmer of understanding as I turned to saunter away.

“Gabriel.” He sounded confident and casual. “Why don’t I take it? D’you have it with you?”

Turning back to face him, I made a point of examining my watch, a bored look painted on my face.
“I don’t think so. She can ring me.”

“
Where are you staying now? I know you changed hotels.”

“
Nu-uh. Suki phones me. You know, she’ll come crawling back soon enough. She likes to play games, but that’s all they are. She’ll probably give you some sob story about how cruel I am, thinking you’ll lap it up. And then she’ll realise what she’s giving up.”

We stared at each other. I recalled how he’d stopped Delaney from using me as his personal punch bag
—was it possible they’d become friends? His text to me certainly backed it up. Maybe, just maybe, he’d bought into some of his lies? There was more fun to be had here. I knew how protective Craigowan was of his wife. I gave him a broad smile and stuck out my hand to shake his. He narrowed his eyes at me and ignored it. Laughing to myself, I chucked him under the chin instead, enjoying his annoyed jerk out of the way.

“
Jonno. You haven’t left Anita with Josh Delaney, have you?”

In reply, he simply crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me. I was not intimidated in the slightest. I shrugged, highly amused.
“You must know what he does.”

“
I might.”

I flicked my eyes left and right, but there was nobody within hearing range. I stepped closer and spoke in a low voice.
“I paid him to fuck my wife and film it without her knowing. I don’t believe he’s finished the job yet.”

As I hoped, Craigowan recoiled, a look of utter disgust on his face. I smiled again.
“I also said he’d get a very generous bonus if he could fuck Anita, too.”

I turned on my heel and strode away, whistling softly. Almost as an afterthought, I turned when I reached the door.
“Don’t forget to pass on my message, Jonno.”

15.6 Josh

I was moments away from peeling off her t-shirt and forgetting everything except the delights of her body, but I forced myself to take a deep breath. To try and put the brakes on. It’s safe to say that my braking system doesn’t just need attention, it requires a complete overhaul as my body carried on blindly, completely ignoring the Stop Now or Forever Regret It signals from my brain.

With a final gasp, I clutched at the disintegrating straws of my sanity. “Suki, I need to say… something.”
I’m scared.

Limpid brown eyes gazed up at me. She didn’t speak
—was that a good sign? “I’ve had meaningless sex all my life; I want this to be more. I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.”
I don’t want you to hate me.

“
How much more?” Her breathing was as ragged as mine, her voice soft and encouraging.

I sucked in another breath.
“You don’t know anything about me.”
I don’t want to hurt you
.

“
You don’t want me, do you?” She stumbled over the words. I kicked myself for letting her think that.
Jesus
, I was making a complete ass of myself. I was better off keeping my mouth shut. Instead of proving what an idiot I am again, I took one of her hands and pressed it against my jeans, my cock rearing against her touch. I saw her eyes widen.

“
Do you even need to ask?” I put my mouth to better use and kissed her again, our tongues dancing, her hand stroking me through my jeans and shredding my sanity even further.

Suki moved her head a little, whispering against my mouth.
“I know lots about you, Josh.” She pressed a kiss against my chin, her hand still teasing. “I know when you kiss me, I feel like I can fly.” Her lips moved to my throat. “I know you fix my headaches and stop my panic attacks.” Her tongue drifted up my neck. “I know you make me feel safe.” A delicate nibble on my earlobe.
God
, I was losing the ability to think. “I’m scared of trusting you. I’m worried about making a fool of myself. And I’m panicking that I’m rubbish in bed and will be a total disappointment to you.” She shifted and gazed at me earnestly. “Really, I’m very inhibited. I take ages to get going and then… I, um, you know.”

She was scared of trusting me. I could understand that. But…
“In what possible way could you disappoint me?” I sensed this was important and shifted positions, moving to lie beside her, gathering her in my arms so I could kiss her and stroke her hair. I felt a shard of worry when she refused to look at me. Instead, she focused on my chest, drawing patterns across my t-shirt with her finger. What the hell had Gabriel done to her? My imagination ran wild.

A little shrug. I cupped her face in my hands, smiled at her with every ounce of gentleness I could summon.
“You want me and I want you. Let’s just take our time.”
I want you to be sure of me.
“Let me pleasure you, Suki. I want to make you come with my fingers and my tongue, and then make love to you until you can’t walk. Hell, until we both can’t walk.” She flushed and turned her face to rest her cheek against my shoulder. I’d said something wrong.

I backtracked in my head. No, I couldn’t see it. I tried another tack.
“What have I said, baby?”

With some reluctance, she lifted her head and met my anxious gaze. A telling flush spread across her cheeks.
“I, um, don’t really come.” A hesitant shrug. “I don’t want you to think you have to, you know, make me. I’m pretty happy without that.” She dropped her eyes again. “I’m embarrassed now,” she murmured. “Like I said, I don’t want you to have great expectations. That’s all.”

“
You’ve only ever slept with Gabriel.” I spat his name out. I didn’t want to invite him into the conversation, but I figured we needed to banish his ghost. She nodded. “But I’m not him. And whatever you did—or didn’t do—with him, has nothing to do with us. Okay?” She finally met my eyes, gave me a nervous smile and then melted as I kissed her. Any vague ideas I had about waiting flew out of the window.