Obsession (39 page)

Toni shook her head. “This is all too incredible. Who would ever have thought…? Bruce Jensen, our own doctor, Dad's friend. How could he have done something like that?”

Abe sighed. “Survival, I suppose. I don't imagine he took any pleasure in doing it, but he had convinced himself it was necessary to protect the organization and to keep himself out of prison. Funny how he seemingly had no stomach for a gun battle at the cabin, but he had no compunction—or, at least, none he couldn't overcome—over murdering his own friend, so long as he wasn't there to see it.”

“What do you mean,” Toni asked, “about his having no compunction he couldn't overcome?”

“Do you remember the vehicle Simon said he saw driving up to your dad's cabin before daylight on the day he died, and how it stopped a short distance away?”

“Yes.”

“That was Bruce. Apparently he was struggling with guilt at the idea of killing your father, so he stopped to gather his courage before going on up to the cabin and carrying out his plan.”

“Bruce Jensen,” Melissa mumbled. “Dr. Welby. He killed my dad.” She looked at Abe. “It just doesn't make any sense. I heard him tell the others that he couldn't be a part of killing me, but he thought… selling me… was a good idea.”

Abe squeezed her hand again. “The man has some strange principles, that's for sure.” He turned and looked at April. “By the way, I did find out something about Julie that I think you might want to know.”

April's eyes widened, as did Melissa's. She couldn't imagine that Abe was going to tell April the horrible details of Julie's death.

“The last couple of weeks before Julie died, she had started asking to be allowed to call home, to speak with you and her parents. Carlo refused, of course, but Julie continued to ask him. She also asked Lorraine to help her get him to change his mind. Of course, Lorraine didn't even bother to try, but she told us that Julie was becoming quite an annoyance at the end. She was… talking about Jesus, about going to church and getting right with God, and she spent every spare minute praying and repeating Bible verses she said she'd learned as a child.”

April's eyes filled with tears, which quickly overflowed onto her cheeks. “She was praying and reciting Bible verses?”

Abe nodded, and Toni embraced April, as the two of them cried together. Melissa, watching them, thought how much easier it must be now for April to continue trusting the God who had been with her granddaughter, even at the last moment of her life. It was a lesson she vowed never to forget.

Abe had been tense all day. Even now, seated across from Toni in a booth at a small downtown café with his right arm still in the sling, his stomach felt as if it were in knots. Just how understanding and forgiving was this woman whom he loved so deeply? Before the evening was over, he would know.

They had both opted for a light dinner of soup, salad, and bread, each of them, Abe supposed, for similar reasons. Abe had encouraged Toni to order something more substantial, but she had laughed and reminded him that it was her turn to pay, that she had “owed him” ever since their cinnamon roll binge at the deli way back in June, and that she therefore preferred to keep the dinner tab as low as possible. Abe had laughed, too, even as his stomach churned in anticipation of what was to come. Although Toni couldn't possibly imagine the scope of what he was about to tell her, she had undoubtedly been preparing herself all day to hear it and was therefore as disinterested in eating as he was. So they each toyed with their food, talking about everything but what was really on their minds.

“How is your… aunt doing with the news of Sol's death?” Toni asked. “You said the funeral is Tuesday, right?”

Abe nodded. “She's pretty devastated, almost as devastated as she was about my news.”

Toni frowned. “Your news?”

“I told her about… discovering Israel's Messiah. She was nearly hysterical. Says she'll sit
shivah
for Sol… and for me too.”

“I'm sorry, Abe. I still don't understand.”

“By proclaiming Jesus as Israel's Messiah—accepting him as my Lord and Savior—I have cut myself off from her, and, she claims, from my people. In her eyes, I'm now as dead as Uncle Sol.”

Tears pooled in Toni's eyes, and she reached across the table and touched his hand. “I'm so sorry. I hadn't realized… how big a price you'd pay.”

He smiled, her touch easing the pain in his heart. “There's always a price, isn't there? Consequences for our choices.”

Toni nodded. “I suppose there is.”

Abe closed his eyes for a moment, breathed a silent prayer, then looked at the woman he loved and began to confess his past. “It was a long time ago. Almost twelve years, just after my parents died. I was in college, and there was this girl.… Amanda and I dated for several months, and being with her seemed to help me get my mind off losing my mom and dad. We got… too close. Before I knew it, she was pregnant.”

He paused, watching Toni closely. There didn't seem to be any visible reaction to his words, so he continued. “When she told me, I panicked. Amanda was Catholic, so abortion was out of the question for her. The last thing in the world I needed right then was a wife and a baby. I couldn't even support myself. At that point I was only in school because Uncle Sol had picked up where my parents left off paying my tuition. So, naturally, I turned to him for advice. He told me he knew of a lawyer who arranged for private adoptions and that this would definitely be the way to go, the best for everyone involved, including the baby. He said the adoptive parents would be financially comfortable and would pay not only the medical and legal costs for the adoption but a hefty sum of cash for Amanda and me, as well. I have to admit, it sounded pretty good. I was able to talk Amanda into it, and… well, the rest is history, as they say.”

“You… gave your baby up for adoption then.”

Abe nodded. “Yes, we did. Never even saw him.”

“A boy.”

Abe nodded again, a lump forming in his throat.

“Do you… think about him?”

“Not often. Maybe it's that I haven't allowed myself to. But lately… yes, I have thought of him. I've wondered how he is, where he is, if he knows he's adopted, and if so, what he must think of his parents… of me. With the adoption laws changing, I've even wondered if he
might… someday… try to find me. Then I wonder… would he ever be able to forgive me?”

Toni's eyes were filled with compassion, her voice soft as she spoke. “I believe he will—someday.”

Abe looked down at his uneaten soup, trying to gather the courage to go on with his confession. She hadn't yet heard the worst part. He looked up and stared at her intently as he spoke, watching for any telltale reactions. “There's more. After the adoption, Amanda and I drifted apart. Eventually she transferred to another college and we lost touch, which was fine with me. I did my best to ignore the guilt feelings I had over what I felt was ‘selling’ my baby and even allowed myself to become involved in recruiting other pregnant college students to sell their babies. Someone—I never knew until yesterday that it was Bruce Jensen—called me and asked me to do it. He said I would get a small cut on each pregnant girl I brought in who ended up going through with the adoption. Even though Uncle Sol was paying my tuition, I had no extra spending money of my own beyond what I'd gotten from the people who adopted my… my son, so I did it.”

Still waiting for Toni's face to register shock and revulsion, he saw neither, so he continued. “I did that for a couple of years until I just couldn't stand it any longer. Finally I went to Uncle Sol and told him what I'd been doing. I told him I knew it was wrong, but I'd needed the money. He got mad and told me I should have come to him if I needed anything, but he also said he'd deal with the lawyer involved and let him know I didn't want any part in it anymore. That was the last I heard about any of it until I graduated from college and was getting established in law enforcement. Uncle Sol, who had just taken an early retirement, put in a good word for me and helped me get into the detectives' division, but he warned me that I should never say anything about the adoption business or it might cause trouble for my career. He also assured me that he'd done some checking and the business had folded. At the time, of course, I believed him, never realizing that he'd been involved in it all along, even when I was bringing
in the pregnant college girls. I thought his only contact with that sordid business was the one time he helped me and that he was just looking out for my best interests as he always had. That may have been part of it, but I know now that he was also covering his own trail.” His voice cracked, and he fought the wave of emotion that swept over him. “That's… probably one of the hardest parts of this whole thing. That… and how what I did so long ago has affected you and Melissa. Nothing could be worse than that.”

His shoulders slumped as he realized there was nothing more to say. Exhausted but relieved at finally having told Toni everything, he waited. Was this the end of their relationship? Would she walk away from him in disgust and never look back? Or could she somehow find it in her heart to forgive him, at least to the point of maintaining a friendship if nothing else? Each second seemed an eternity as he watched and waited… and prayed.

Slowly Toni rose from her seat, and Abe's heart sank. She was leaving, walking out on him without a word. Still, he couldn't blame her. After all, what he had done was reprehensible….

Then she was at his side, sitting down next to him on the cushioned bench. Leaning toward him, she kissed his cheek. “I love you,” she whispered.

In a daze he turned toward her. Her lashes were rimmed with tears, her blue eyes more beautiful than ever. He tried to speak, but there were no words. He kissed her, then pulled her close with his good arm. “Forgive me,” he said.

“I already have,” she answered.

And his heart sang.

It was Saturday, September 18, and Tyler Johnson was now officially seven years old. As Toni and Melissa wrapped presents and waited for Abe to pick them up to take them to the party, they did so
with mixed emotions. It had been almost a week since April had gone back to Colorado, but they still missed her. They knew she would return once the first trial started, but that might be a while yet. In the meantime, April, with a twinkle in her eye, had promised to come back “for any special occasions that might arise, such as a wedding….”

Toni smiled as she remembered seeing her off at the airport. “I'm so glad that you and your handsome detective have finally found each other,” April had said, kissing Toni's cheek before boarding the plane. “Now that he's been temporarily suspended from the force until his involvement in all this baby-selling mess can be cleared up, I think you two ought to consider keeping your parents' agency open… the two of you, together. Another Matthews and Matthews team, just like your parents.” She'd smiled when Toni had started to protest. “Now, my dear, don't dismiss it without some consideration. You never know, but God may have purposed this very thing.” She kissed her again, then walked toward her plane, turning for one final wave.

April Lippincott
, Toni scolded silently, a smile tugging at her lips as she taped a bow to her package,
you really are quite a lady, even if you do tend to poke your nose into other people's business. I just can't imagine what we'll do around here without you.

The doorbell rang then, and Melissa sprang to her feet and threw open the door to greet Abe before Toni could even get up from the couch. Toni smiled. She knew Melissa still missed Brad and occasionally even sat with him and his parents at church. Brad, too, still seemed at loose ends when he ran into Toni, particularly when Abe was with her—which seemed to be most of the time these days, but both Brad and Melissa appeared to have accepted the fact that Abe and Toni were now an item, most probably a permanent one if things continued to progress as they had been, and Toni was thrilled to see the growing relationship between Abe and Melissa.

Abe, minus his sling, followed Melissa into the living room. Toni stood and greeted him with a kiss as he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. “Ready to party?” she asked.