Obsession (65 page)

‘Yeah,’ he said frankly, ‘that’s true. But stop putting the whole Goddammed onus on me. Be honest about yourself and your own feelings, Corrie. You don’t like Los Angeles, and you know you don’t want to live there. That’s why we gotta have this time apart to decide what we really want.’

‘And if we decide it’s each other? The problems seem insurmountable to me. I want marriage and London, you want, well you want movies and Los Angeles.’

‘Then if it comes to it we’ll both have to make compromises.’

‘I know the male idea of compromise,’ she said, a trace of irony breaking through her sadness. ‘It means you get your own way.’

Chuckling softly he pulled her into his arms to kiss her. ‘I love you, Corrie Browne,’ he said, ‘and that is the last time I’m going to say it until I’ve heard those words from your lips.’

‘Well you seem to have worked out for yourself what would make me say it,’ she countered.

‘You holding me to ransom here?’

She shook her head. ‘I don’t know. Maybe. It’s not going to work though, is it?’

As he gazed down into her lovely ochre-brown eyes, then smiled at the way the tawny freckles across her nose seemed so vivid and childlike against her anxiously pale skin, he knew he couldn’t bring himself to kill all hope in her. If he did, he’d only be lying to himself. ‘Not today, no,’ he whispered.

Corrie shrugged. ‘So you mean that it’s not all over for us? That we’ll still be in touch?’

Cristos rolled his eyes in exasperation. ‘Just when the hell did I say that we wouldn’t be? All I’m saying is let’s
slow
down for a while. Let me get the movie edited and into that damned festival then we can sort out us. Is that OK with you?’

‘Do I detect here that your movies are always going to come first?’

A quick spark of anger flashed in his eyes. ‘Corrie, you know who I am, you know what I do. And if you weren’t feeling so bad right now you’d have your own career in better perspective.’

‘My career will keep me here in England,’ she said, wishing she didn’t sound so sour.

‘Yeah, I know that. And I know you’re gonna really do something with your life – do you think I want to stand in the way of that? It would be the easiest thing in the world to ask you to give it all up for me, and I know that if I did, right now you would. But how would you be feeling six months or a year from now? I can’t be everything in your life, Corrie, anymore than you can be everything in mine. So let’s be realistic about this. God knows our feet have hardly touched the ground these past four weeks, so maybe it’s time they did.’ But seeing the tears brimming in her eyes filled him with such a pain of his own that despite all he was saying he very nearly told her in that moment that if she wanted to throw it all up for him, he’d let her. He’d risk what the future would bring, just so long as they could be together now. But he didn’t. Instead he cupped her face in his hands and whispered, ‘Saying goodbye to you today is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, don’t make it any harder.’

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, unable to do anything to stop the tears now. ‘It’s just that I’m going to miss you so much that right now I want to die.’

‘I know,’ he murmured, hugging her tight. ‘But we’ll work it out. Trust me, we’ll work something out.’

How could he possibly have known then that in the next few weeks he was going to bitterly regret not giving in to
that
moment of weakness? If he’d known about Luke, and the full extent of what he was doing to Corrie and her family, then things might have turned out very differently. But Corrie hadn’t told him, and now, one way or another, they were all about to suffer the consequences of the pride that had forced Corrie to hold her tongue. But how could even she have known what was waiting to tear their lives apart?

– 25 –

AS PHILLIP DROVE
Corrie out of Heathrow his mind was still caught up by the look on Cristos’s face at the moment he had let Corrie go. Any fool could have seen what it was costing him to do it, and Phillip couldn’t help wondering why, when he clearly loved her so much, Cristos hadn’t asked her to go to Los Angeles with him. A part of Phillip had almost wanted to beg Cristos to take her, at least then one of his daughters would be safe from the danger he felt encroaching upon them. He flinched as he thought of Annalise, but that would have to wait, Corrie just wasn’t ready to hear it yet. But that was why the other part of Phillip, the selfish part, was glad Cristos hadn’t taken Corrie, because Phillip just didn’t know how to handle what was going on in their lives. If he only understood it then perhaps he wouldn’t need Corrie so much, but as it was, she appeared to him the only sanity in a world that was slowly but surely disintegrating into disaster.

Glancing over at her he saw that her eyes were closed. As her father he could feel her suffering so acutely that it was as though it was his own heart being flown to the other side of the world. He wished desperately that there was something he could say to make her feel better, even though he knew that nothing would. But that he was there, that
his
shoulder was available, he knew was of some comfort, and for that he was profoundly grateful.

‘It’s all right, I’m not asleep,’ Corrie said, sensing his eyes on her.

‘How are you feeling now?’

‘Pretty dreadful, but I suppose I’ll live.’

Phillip smiled. ‘I very much hope so.’

‘Where’s Annalise, by the way? I thought she was coming with you.’

Phillip tensed, wishing to God he didn’t have to answer that question. But knowing there was no point in holding back on Corrie, and that he would have to tell her sooner or later anyway, he said, ‘Annalise is at Luke’s apartment with Luke.’

‘Oh no!’ Corrie groaned, feeling herself shrink away from the words. All she wanted to think about right now was Cristos, but it seemed she just wasn’t going to be allowed to, and for a moment she deeply resented the intrusion. But life had to go on, and hadn’t she always known that this would happen? ‘Why did you let her go?’ she asked, more sharply than she’d intended.

‘I wasn’t there to stop her. She’d already gone by the time I arrived home last night. Luke had called her from the hospital, asking her to go and pick him up. He discharged himself, it seems, only minutes after we’d left.’

‘Have you spoken to her?’

‘Yes. I’ve seen her. I went round there today. It was no good, she wouldn’t listen to me. Luke’s told her that he tried to kill himself because of the way he’s been hurting her … Anyway, there was no getting Annalise out of there. Luke had an answer for everything I said … He accused me of always trying to come between him and Annalise, which is true, and Annalise knows it … He said I’d fabricate any kind of story just to poison her mind against him …’

‘Did you tell her that Octavia was with him when he slit his wrists?’

Phillip shook his head. ‘Perhaps I should have, I don’t know. But Octavia’s her mother, Corrie … I did try to tell her though that you were the one he’d called when he was taken to hospital … He started to go berserk then, yelling at me that you’d heard it on the news and gone running there to make sure he was dead so that he’d be out of Annalise’s life … Oh God, I can’t remember what he said, but he twisted everything to make it sound as though you and I are in some kind of conspiracy … Annalise listened to him, I’m afraid … I stayed there until it was time for me to come and collect you, but I didn’t get any further. She believed him …’

‘God, how could she, after the way he’s treated her?’ Corrie cried angrily. ‘I just don’t understand her.’

‘Neither do I. But as you know I’ve never been an expert where women and their emotions are concerned.’

He looked so dejected, so thoroughly disgusted with himself that Corrie reached out to squeeze his arm. ‘You’ve done pretty well for me today,’ she told him.

‘You don’t know how much I wish that were true,’ he said. ‘You’ve been such a support for Annalise and me these past few months that I just don’t know where we’d be without you. But it’s not fair on you, Corrie, we shouldn’t either of us depend on your strength the way we do. You have your own life to lead, and as much as I want Annalise and me to be a part of it …’

‘Of course you’re a part of it. You always will be.’

‘But we put too much pressure on you. Oh, I know you have a fondness for us, but we both make it very difficult for you to respect us. No, please don’t deny it, Corrie, because I know it’s true. But I’d like to change it, I’d like to do something to make us worthy of your respect. I don’t know yet what it will take,’ he gave a short laugh, ‘your courage and rectitude set a pretty high standard, you know,
but
I’ll get there. And I shall work hard at it. You’ve brought something into my life that I can’t put into words, and though I never want to lose you, I want you to know, that from the bottom of my heart I hope things work out with Cristos the way you want them to. And what’s more, I’m going to do all I can to see that they do. Now, how’s that for a promise from your ineffectual father?’

‘Oh, Phillip,’ Corrie laughed, dabbing at her eyes, ‘it’s a great promise,’ though how on earth he thought he was ever going to fulfil it she couldn’t even begin to imagine. But it was the sentiment behind the words that mattered, and the touching determination to increase his worth in her eyes.

When they arrived back at Corrie’s studio they had a few moments of being father and daughter when Phillip saw the look in her eyes as she seemed to search the place for Cristos. Pulling her into his arms Phillip held her as she cried, telling her to let it all out and soothing her as best he could.

Eventually he went to make some coffee, and was surprised when he heard Corrie pick up the telephone.

‘Who are you calling?’ he asked.

‘Who do you think?’

Phillip was about to tell her he didn’t think it was wise when she was already so upset, when Corrie said, ‘Annalise, it’s me.’

‘No, Corrie, I’m not speaking to you,’ Annalise said.

‘Then let me speak to Luke.’

‘No.’

‘Put him on now or I’m coming straight round there.’

‘You’ll be wasting your time because he’s not here.’

‘Then where is he?’

Annalise didn’t answer, and as the silence dragged on Corrie suddenly realized why.

‘He’s with her, isn’t he?’ she almost screamed in exasperation. ‘He’s gone to see Siobhan.’

‘Yes, if you must know, he has. But …’

‘I don’t believe you can be this stupid, Annalise! You know what happens every time he sees her and now you’re just sitting there …’

‘It won’t happen this time,’ Annalise said defiantly. ‘He’s changed. He’s been away to think, and now he knows what he wants. He’s got all his frustrations sorted out, he says, and it’s me that he wants. So he’s gone to end it with Siobhan.’

‘End
what
with Siobhan?’ And when Annalise didn’t answer, ‘You see, you don’t know!’

‘Corrie, stop shouting at me. I’m not a child and I don’t have to listen to this.’

‘You’ll fucking well listen, all right,’ Corrie yelled. ‘He told you why he tried to kill himself, did he?’

‘Because of me. He thought …’

‘No, Annalise! Not because of you. He did it because he’s sick. Because there’s something very wrong with him …’

‘He said you’d say something like that. Now let me tell you this, Corrie. I don’t go around the place saying ugly things about Cristos, so you can just damned well stop doing it about Luke!’

‘Why do you think I’m saying it, Annalise? Do you think I’d make up something like that?’

‘Yes, quite frankly I do. And so does Luke.’

‘But why should I? Just give me one good reason why …’

‘Because you’re jealous. Things are working out for Luke and me again, and you’ve just lost Cristos.’

‘Oh, God help me!’ Corrie seethed. ‘What the hell is the matter with you, Annalise? Just how far does the man have to go before you … Do you know that he’s accusing your father of incest?’

‘Corrie, I’m not listening to any more of these lies. I know Luke has his faults, but you’re going too far now. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow morning by which time I
hope
you’ve had some rest or whatever it is you need to put you in a better mood.’

‘Annalise, don’t you dare ring off!’ But Annalise already had, and as Corrie put down the receiver she sighed to Phillip, ’I see what you mean. It’s useless.’

The next morning Luke and Annalise breezed into the office as though they had just come back from a month in the Caribbean. That there appeared to be no bruises on Annalise gave Corrie small comfort, and she, like everyone else, averted her eyes from the bandages on Luke’s wrists. No one had made a single reference to them, though Corrie had every intention of doing so, just as soon as she got him alone. She finally managed it just before lunch, when she all but threw his secretary out of the way, and slamming his door behind her rounded on him with ‘I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, Luke Fitzpatrick, but I want an explanation for Saturday night, and I want it now.’

Using the remote control to flick off the TV set Luke swivelled in his chair to face her. For a long time he simply looked at her, then his eyes moved to the window and followed the mesmeric route of the clouds. At last he said, ‘There won’t be too much for you to do around here for the next couple of weeks, will there?’

Corrie blinked. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well Annalise is going to take some time getting herself back together. I could assign you to another producer for the duration.’

‘No, I’m quite happy working on my own projects, thank you. Now, I’d like …’

‘Yes, I expect you are,’ he smiled.

It was the smile not the words that threw Corrie into sudden disarray. He was using it to tell her something, and as his jaundiced eyes peered up into hers she could sense the menace behind them. For a moment she felt strangely
lightheaded
, as though the oxygen was being sucked away from her lungs. She tried to tear her eyes away, but she was transfixed by the power emanating from him. His smile widened, as though he knew the effect he was having and was enjoying it. Corrie took a step back as somewhere at the root of frozen chaos in her mind she knew that what she was witnessing now in Luke was the same dissolute evil she had sensed in Octavia. Then it was gone and Corrie, as though abruptly freed from a restraining leash, put out a hand to steady herself.