Oceans of Fire (31 page)

“
Lyubof maya
.” His voice was gentle, sensual. “You’ll tear out my heart again if you cry.” His fingers threaded through hers. “I love you more than life. Is there no hope for us? I had nothing until you came into my life and when you left, you left me with nothing.” He kissed her eyes, his tongue taking her tears. “Try for me, Abbey.”

“I am trying.” Her body was still pulsing around his, little aftershocks rocking her, sending tiny electrical charges through her bloodstream.

“You’re trying not to love me.” He kissed her throat, pressed another kiss between her breasts. “I know you so well. You don’t want to love me.”

She hated that he knew that. That he knew her so well he could tell what she was thinking and feeling. She touched his face. His beloved face.

“We were so right together. We fit, Abbey. We belong.”

“I had to work so hard to find myself again, Aleksandr.” There was pain in her voice. “I was so lost without you. You left me raw and wounded and trapped in a dark place with no windows or doors. I didn’t know how to live without you. I didn’t know how to smile or feel or
be
. It took almost two years before I really accepted that it was over and I had to find a way to go on. I made myself strong. I’m alive again. I can wake up some mornings and be happy. I can look at the ocean and find peace again. Now you’re asking me to risk everything all over again and I’m not certain I could survive if it all came crashing down.”

He lay on her, her soft body imprinted on his hard flesh. He was still buried deep inside her and they had just had earth-shattering sex. She was looking up at him with a mixture of love and fear and he couldn’t even pretend he didn’t know why. He had mishandled things through arrogance, his confidence that he was so powerful no one would think to try to take him down. He had been wrong and Abigail had been the one to pay the price.

“I know,
rebyonak
, I’m so sorry. I know I’m to blame for what happened to you and I know the price you paid for my mistake. But I swear to you, I won’t let it happen again.” He kissed the corners of her mouth. “I don’t make the same mistake twice.”

She smoothed back his hair. “Give me time.”

“I’ll go get us something to drink. Do you want something hot or cold?”

“Something cold. I’m going to take a shower and get in the hot tub.”

Aleksandr kissed her again, long and slow, trying without words to show her how he felt. He reluctantly slipped out of the haven of her body. He had such a precarious hold on her and he didn’t want to leave her even for a moment, afraid she would manage to slip away from him and leave him alone again.

Abigail wrapped her hair up to keep it from getting wet and allowed the hot water to pour over her body. It had been a long time since she’d made love and she was somewhat sensitive, her body slightly sore. Aleksandr had always been so ravenous for her. He made love to her often, sometimes several times in a day. The things they’d done, she’d never do with anyone else. With him it always seemed right and natural. Her body still throbbed for his. She could feel the pulsing of her womb, wanting more.

Naked, she walked out onto the deck. Aleksandr had already removed the hot tub’s cover and he took her hand, helping her into the water. The contrast of the cool night air and the heated water made her gasp as she sank down into the depths. She sat, her head pillowed on the cushion, looking up at the stars and listening to the boom of the ocean as he took his shower.

Abigail sat up and watched him walk toward her when she heard the slide of the door. He was carrying two champagne glasses filled with golden liquid. He stepped into the hot tub and handed her a glass. She set the flute on the edge of the tub and cupped his sac in her palm, gently squeezing as she came up on her knees. Her breasts floated in the hot water as she leaned toward him. “You’re such a gorgeous man.”

At her touch, he was coming alive even in the coolness of the night. She wrapped her fingers around him, felt him grow longer and harder in answer. “Just stand there, Sasha, and drink your champagne. I want to touch you.”

He had explored her body thoroughly, but she had only managed to anchor herself by digging her nails into him and holding on when the sensations became too much. Now she had time for a far more leisurely exploration.

Aleksandr closed his eyes as her warm breath moved over his body. Her hands slipped over his skin, traced lines and muscles, returned to brush lightly over his suddenly raging erection. He raised the glass to his lips and took a small sip of the champagne just as her mouth closed over him. He nearly dropped the glass and choked. His free hand settled in her hair.

“I love your mouth.” He was once again agonizingly hard and throbbing heavily.

She didn’t respond. Moisture was already pooling low and her womb clenched again, rippling and pulsing with need. Both hands came up to grip his thighs, her fingers digging into the heavy muscle there as he filled her mouth with his fullness. She began to suckle strongly, her tongue dancing and teasing while he groaned in pleasure.

Aleksandr threw back his head and looked up at the sky. The moon bathed them in light while the ocean played a strong melody in the background. The heat of the tub was nothing in comparison to the fire of her velvet mouth. He had no idea what he’d done in a former life to deserve a woman like Abigail. He had never conceived of having a woman who would share herself so completely, so honestly. One who would enjoy his body with such complete abandon. She could do amazing things with her mouth and seemed to love doing them to him.

His legs trembled and he felt like he was strangling with pleasure, his breath coming in ragged gasps, lungs burning for air. He thrust deeper into her mouth, his hips picking up the ebb and flow of the sea. His sac was so tight he was afraid he would burst. “I want to come inside of you, Abbey. I’m close, so close.”

Her body was pulsing with such need she reluctantly gave up the pleasure of driving him out of his mind and allowed him to pull free of her mouth. He reached down and gripped her waist, lifting her without preamble to her feet and turning her toward the pillowed headrest. With the flat of his hand on her back he forced her to lean forward. She found herself staring out at the pounding sea as his hand slipped between her legs, his fingers seeking her dampness.

He groaned. “You’re so ready for me. Do you have any idea what that can do to a man?” It could bring him to his knees. Abigail had no idea what she’d done for him, how she’d changed his life, how she’d changed him as a person. He wouldn’t go back to what he’d been without her. He drove into her hard, needing the pounding pleasure pulsing through his body to drive his demons away. They rose up so unexpectedly. Abigail had confessed how difficult it was to get her life back and go on without him, but she had managed. He hadn’t been able to do it.

He had poured his heart into his letters and she had sent them back unopened. Before Abbey it had never mattered if he was happy as long as he did his duty. He pursued criminals and he dodged bullets and went home to an empty apartment. He trusted no one and cared for no one. He had been able to live in the labyrinth of deceit and treachery, skillfully maneuvering through the minefields of his world, but she had taken that from him. He had lost himself just as surely as she had lost who she was. He couldn’t think about losing her again; he doubted if he’d survive it either.

His fingers bit into her hips. She was hot and tight and a miracle of pleasure driving the dangerous thoughts from his head. He could feel her body bathing him in hot liquid, her muscles gripping him hard, squeezing and massaging, the friction incredible as he thrust into her. Abigail pushed back against him, rocking her bottom against his tight sac with each deep stroke, sending his pleasure spiraling out of control. He felt her body spasm around his, convulsing, contracting tightly. Her soft cry rose up into the night.

A hoarse cry escaped his throat as he emptied himself into her, his arms circling her waist, his mouth finding the nape of her neck. He pressed a trail of kisses down her spine to the small of her back as he slipped out of her. He turned her, helping her to sit back down in the hot tub when both had shaky legs. She was looking at him with such a mixture of pain and pleasure he felt his heart jerk in his chest. There was so much sadness in her he couldn’t stand it.

He caught her chin, and his other hand went to his chest. “
Baushki-bau
, you’re breaking my heart. Can’t you see what I feel for you is real? That I love you more than anything in this world? I’d do anything to take away the pain I caused you. Tell me what I can do. Please, Abbey, you can’t hurt like this anymore.”

She sent him a faint smile, touching the small lines around his mouth. “It isn’t just my pain. It’s yours as well. I feel you in the same way you do me.” She pressed her hand over her heart in a gesture nearly identical to his. “We’ll get through this. It will just take time. I never thought to see you again and I’m still in a state of shock.”

“You deliberately seduced me tonight.”

Her smile widened. “It doesn’t take all that much to seduce you, Sasha. You think when I look at you I’m seducing you.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “That’s true.”

Abigail reached for her champagne. “It’s a good thing I’m on the pill. We’d be in big trouble. Just because Elle is the one destined to have seven daughters doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t get pregnant. You should have thought of that before you got so wild.“

He took her flute and tilted it just slightly so a few drops ran down the slope of her breast. “I did think of it,” he murmured as he bent his head to lick the champagne from her skin. “I’d hoped you’d forgotten.”

His tongue sent little electrical charges pulsing through her center. He sat back, his head against one of the cushioned pillows, and drew her to his lap. “Lie back and look at the stars. It’s an incredible night and I just want to hold you.”

Abigail relaxed, wiggling her hips until she could feel his groin along the seam of her buttocks. She allowed her head to rest on his chest. Immediately his hands came up to cup her breasts. “You can’t possibly.”

“No, but I can hold you. I missed touching you.” His fingers massaged her breasts, tugged at her nipples. “I loved waking up in the middle of the night and finding you next to me naked. Your body was always so receptive.”

“You’re a sex maniac.” There was a smile in her voice and one creeping into her heart. Maybe she was a sex maniac. When she was with him, she was always damp and ready, her body pulsing and throbbing. It didn’t matter what he asked, when he asked, she wanted him. He liked touching her body and he’d done it often. Even when they were out she remembered how his hand would accidentally brush across her nipples or her bottom. Once they’d been in a club late at night and his hand had crept up her thigh beneath the table. She’d been so hot for him by the time they left, they’d barely made it to his apartment before she was stripping his clothes off.

He never minded when she reciprocated, as she often had, deliberately arousing him when she knew he could do nothing about it. She loved the look in his eyes, hot with promise, and he always followed through.

Aleksandr nibbled on her shoulder, his teeth nipping her skin playfully as his hands wandered over her body. She allowed champagne to slip down her throat and passed the flute to him once more. He took a drink and then pulled her head back to kiss her, tasting of champagne and sex.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Abigail asked.

He gave her back the flute and slipped both hands back under the water, seeking her thighs. “Yes. With you. I want to eat you all night.”

“I thought you wanted to hold me all night.”

“That too.” His hands parted her thighs and he rested his palms on either side of her mound, thumbs moving with slow persuasion through her tight curls. “I want tonight to last forever.”

She sighed and shifted just a little bit more to accommodate his stroking fingers. “I want tonight to last forever too.” He was making her hot all over again with his teasing kisses and his fingers sliding deep inside of her, stroking and dancing with an expertise that came from all the nights he’d made love to her.

“Come for me.” He whispered the temptation. He pushed his fingers deeper, filling her, stroking her clit and murmuring explicit fantasies in Russian in her ear.

She pushed her hips forward, riding his hand, her breath coming in gasps and her breasts heaving with the excitement of her building pleasure. He kissed her again and again, stealing her breath, stimulating her breasts with one hand while the other stroked in and out of her tight sheath. In between his kisses he whispered in Russian. She could only catch some of what he was proposing she was so lost in the rising tide of heat. She lifted her hips to meet the rhythmic thrust of his fingers, wanting more, desperate for more.

Aleksandr bit at her collarbone, a small bite of pain he eased with his tongue. He pushed deep inside her with his fingers, rubbing at her most sensitive spot. Excitement flared through her, hot and needy. She could feel her body winding higher and higher.

“You’re so tight,” he whispered. “So hot and tight.”

She exploded, the orgasm coming at her fast and hard and shaking her with its strength. Heat rushed through her body and she actually felt faint. “I’m going to have to get out of here,” she said. “But I don’t think I can stand up.”

Aleksandr picked her up easily and stepped out of the hot tub. He set her on the edge and dried off her body with a large bath sheet. “Thank you for being here with me tonight, Abbey.”

“No matter what happens later, I’m glad I did, Sasha.”

Her voice betrayed her exhaustion and he carried her to the bed and laid her down, smoothing back her hair from her face. “Stay under the covers while I put the cover back on the hot tub. I don’t want you getting cold.”

She curled beneath the thick down comforters. “I’m so sleepy I don’t think I’d notice. Hurry and come to bed.”

Aleksandr cleaned up the deck and returned her, staring down at her for a long time, amazed that she was actually with him. He was very aware she hadn’t given him a single commitment and he knew she was going to walk away from him in the morning. But he had her with him now and it was more than he had ever expected.