Oden (13 page)

Riley is a boy. I’m going to have a son. I stare down at the image that hasn’t changed. I want to treasure this image forever, and I want desperately to tell Marduke that we’re having a boy.

“I have to find Marduke,” I state, rushing out of the room and moving farther down the tunnel, the image still gripped tightly in my hand.

I have to go a long distance down before I hear their voices, and unfortunately, they’re not speaking in English.

I love Marduke, but I do not love him speaking in his own language. A foreign language should probably feel exotic, and I know a lot of people would have drooled over a man who spoke to them in a different language, but to me, this just sounds harsh and ugly. I would be happy to never have to hear it again.

I step into the doorway, raising my hand to knock on the wall, when Ival catches my eye. He touches his finger to his lips, signalling me to be quiet.

Marduke isn’t looking at him, but from this angle, he can’t see me, either.

“I do not know why you are hesitant to agree to this. It is our best chance at survival, and your best chance to keep your little
human
safe,” Ival says in English, and I know he has done it deliberately so I can understand. What are they talking about?

“She won’t agree to it,” Marduke says, slipping back into English easily. I think he’s so used to speaking it now that he doesn’t really notice when he shifts between the two.

“She doesn’t have to agree. You don’t ever have to tell her.”

I have no idea what they are talking about, but I know I am at the centre of it. I’m curious and also hesitant to find out.

“It’s mass-murder,” he states sadly.

“It’s a necessary consequence if we are to defeat Jeprow. We need the humans to make a distraction. We need to sacrifice them so we can find what is hacking into our defences and preventing us from winning this war.”

“How sure are you about this information? What does this thing look like? How will we know when we find it? What does it do exactly that it can disable our defences?”

“One of our scientists saw it in Jeprow’s possession as he moved one from his spaceship and into our home after he took our father hostage. He said there are several small black boxes throughout all the cities on Oden, blocking our power, but the one we need to get to is on his spaceship. It is emitting data to the strategically placed black boxes, which makes them work, and it is overriding our own defences. It is the one that is powerful enough to kill our spaceships. It is the same type of one that dropped your ship out of the sky on Roth.”

“Then we destroy the black boxes here. If we damage enough, then perhaps their hold won’t encompass our entire planet. We could have a window of space where we can fight back,” Marduke tries to reason.

“But only within that window. The one that will be just as hard to get to as the one on Jeprow’s spaceship is in our home. Without our home, our people will know we have been defeated. We cannot allow him to rule there. Furthermore, don’t forget we can’t get any of our spaceships close enough to his ship to attack it. It means he will always be able to move over us and control us. He can attack whenever and wherever he wants.”

“Fine, I hear you. But maybe we can do that without sacrificing the humans.” Marduke sounds anything other than hopeful.

What are they talking about? What do they mean
sacrificing the humans
?

“How exactly? Are you willing to put our own women and men’s lives in the firing range instead? Are you willing to watch them all die? The humans have more experience dealing with evil. They are used to murder and war. This will be no different for them.”

Marduke shakes his head, but he doesn’t verbally contradict Ival. Why isn’t he defending us? We might have not had a completely innocent past, but that doesn’t mean we are all soldiers. It doesn’t give them the right to throw us into a war that has nothing to do with us so we can die for them.

“The question now is, are you willing to lie to your human to ensure you can all get out of here alive, even if it means the death of many of her species?”

“I will do anything to protect Mattie,” Marduke states seriously, his words sending a chill down my spine instead of warmth.

He’s willing to potentially murder hundreds of thousands of humans just to ensure my life? Even then, there is another alternative that he’s not willing to have happen, which would be to put his people in the firing range and leave my people out of it.

“You’re willing to kill innocent humans over a war that was started because of your people’s actions?” I growl, giving away the fact that I’ve been listening in.

“Mattie!” Marduke gapes, swinging around to face me. “I didn’t know you were here—”

“Obviously, since when you speak to me, you don’t voice your true intentions towards humans. You pretend like we matter and we deserve to be given Earth back, but you’d rather they just all die?”

“No, that isn’t it at all.” He takes a step towards me, but I counter it with a step backwards.

“So which will it be, use humans as a distraction, or your own people?” I snap at him.

“You don’t need to hear this—”

“Actually, I do. Answer me,” I demand.

The fact that he doesn’t answer me straight away tells me what he’s going to say. I still need to hear the words come out of his mouth, though.

He grinds his jaw, his eyes glaring over at Ival for a moment before they soften as they touch on me. “We don’t know that humans would lose their lives, they’re fighters. I’ve seen it in you. I’ve seen it in Hank and in a lot of humans. You will fight, and you know how to survive. We might only need a small amount of time to find what we need and destroy it. As soon as we do, we’ll protect the humans and destroy the Claws.”

“And your people just hide away, safe and sound, while our blood is spilled on their behalf?”

“I took an oath to defend my people; my father’s last words were for us to protect them.”

“Yeah, and I took a personal oath to end this fucking war and get my planet back. So I guess we both have to do what we have to do,” I snap, throwing the tablet at him when he attempts to take another step forward. He catches it, only just avoiding dropping it onto the floor. He stares at it in confusion.

“I came in here to tell you that you’re going to have a son, but I realise now that you’ll never be a father to Riley. You’ve chosen a side, and it is not the same one where I stand. I don’t want to see you again, Marduke.” My heart breaks saying those words, but deep down, I know I’m doing the right thing.

How can I be with someone who is willing to sacrifice my race just for a chance at finding some stupid black boxes which will only help them get spaceships into the air? Meanwhile, humans are being slaughtered and tormented by those horrible creatures! Haven’t we all been through enough? Haven’t we all seen enough?

I storm down the hallway, bypassing Lisa and Hannah along the way. Lisa is staring at me in shock. Her eyes are wide, mouth open, and her cheeks are wet from tears. I know she’s heard everything. Hannah looks furious, and as I pass her, she steps in line with me, following me back to the end of the tunnel where our rooms are.

For a long time, I haven’t felt the dark place that lives inside me. The one created after the invasion, the one that I was almost consumed by when I first got to Roth. There was one thing that kept me from sinking into it before, which was my mission with Hank. I wanted revenge and let it fuel me.

After Marduke arrived on Roth, he was enough to keep me afloat. But I can no longer rely on him. Instead of allowing myself to sink into my heartbreak and the darkness inside of me wanting to swallow me whole, however, I tap into my anger and let it fuel me again.

I fume and rage inside. I clench my hands and then unclench. I huff and growl and let it out. I really want to punch someone right now, and I imagine the pain I wish I could inflict on Ival and Marduke. I then add in Jeprow. In my imagination, I cause them all a world of pain, exactly as they deserve.

I’m not sure I have ever felt so furious in my life, but what I do know is, I won’t ever be able to forget that conversation. Marduke is not on my side, and perhaps that should have been obvious.

Of course he’ll choose his own people over humans. Right and wrong doesn’t factor into it. He’s been raised to only further his own people’s agenda. Humans don’t matter to him, not really. Soon, I won’t matter to him, either.

Chapter 9

Marduke

I attempt to go after Mattie, but Lisa stands in my way. I know I could easily push her aside, but I don’t think physically shoving Lisa would help me at all in Mattie’s eyes. I easily saw her anger before she stormed away, therefore I know she needs to calm down. I also recall the disappointment. I saw her heart breaking in front of me. I hate that I’ve caused her pain, and I’m pissed at Ival for letting me walk into it.

He had to know she was there; he switched to speaking English, which should have been a huge clue for me. I was an idiot to not notice it straight away.

“Are you happy?” I yell at him, needing to vent some of my anger.

I storm straight up to him and push him against the table, causing it to slide along the ground from the force I’ve used. I lean my arm over his neck and hold him down over the table, wishing I was able to honestly kill my brother. He’s brought me more pain than anything else, yet I don’t have it in me.

“I didn’t force those words out of your mouth,” he says calmly, knowing that, if he really wanted to, he could easily overpower me and get himself out of this position.

“She hates me,” I hiss.

“And she should, just like you should feel indifferent to her. We’re not the same species, Marduke. We do not have the same priorities. You both needed to realise that.”

“She’s right, though. The humans we have on this planet have already been through too much. We’re sentencing them to death when they haven’t done anything wrong.”

“They knew, once we invaded Earth, they were dead. We might have had somewhat noble intentions when we placed them on our planets, realising that slaughtering the lot of them was going too far, however they were never promised a life after Earth.” He shrugs calmly. “I’m sure they would rather go out fighting than wait for Jeprow and his Claws to slaughter them later on.”

I consider his words, a reminder of the soldiers I fought with only a few days earlier entering my mind. They had guns on them but barely used them. They have been trained to protect Oden, and even they don’t realise what they have. The humans would be able to use the guns. They’d make better use out of them than my people would.

“If we do things this way, if we make it out of this alive, then we should give them something for their bravery and sacrifice. We should give them back Earth.”

Ival growls, not liking that idea at all. “Father’s last legacy was adding Earth to our collection. Giving it back would be to dishonour his achievement.”

“At this rate, even if we survive this war, we’re going to have enough problems fixing up Oden, let alone the other nine planets that we have that are being invaded also. Earth is useless to us now, but it would mean everything to them.”

Ival pushes me off him without arguing over whether I’m right or wrong. I know I’ve pushed him as far as I can on this matter for now, but I won’t stop pushing. Giving Earth back would make Mattie happy, and maybe it would be enough to push her to forgive me, but it’s more than that. It is the right thing to do.

“Right now, I need to alert my soldiers of our plan. You are to come with me and we will end this now.”

“I need to see Mattie first. I have to try to speak to her—”

“No, you don’t. However, I do require you go and put your argu on, that is an
order
. She doesn’t need it down here, but you will need it up there.”

I nod that I agree, yet I don’t have any plans on actually putting it on myself. Mattie and Riley need it more than I do.

I walk away, still feeling angry and tense. I want to hit something hard. Actually, I want to punch myself in the face. I’ve messed things up with Mattie, but I have to believe she’ll listen to reason. I have to hope that her love for me will outweigh her anger.

When I get closer to our rooms, I sense the tension in the air. I near the hidden door to where Logan and Hannah have been sleeping, already knowing that Mattie wouldn’t have gone into our room. Before I reach the door, Lisa sees me approaching and again stands in my way.

“You’re not welcome here,” she says through clenched teeth.

“I know, but I really need to see her.”

“No.”

“Please, I’m leaving, and this might be my last chance to…” I trail off, purposely sounding as though I don’t expect to come back. “I need to say goodbye. You can understand how important those words are, can’t you?” I beg, knowing I will have hit a nerve with that. She never got a chance to say goodbye to Hank.

She glares at me, but I see the sadness in her eyes.

“Hold on a second.” She holds out her hand and knocks against the wall. She can’t open it, neither can Hannah. Therefore, when it opens, I know how close Mattie is.

Lisa pokes her head in, frustratingly leaving it mostly closed so I can’t even catch a glimpse of her. After an eternity, she opens the door farther and Logan runs out, sprinting straight at me and knocking into my legs. He hugs me before I reach down and pick him up. I’m unsure why he’s looking so devastated.

“You can say your goodbye to him, but she doesn’t need to hear anything from you. Leave her alone,” Lisa hisses, giving me a fake smile when Logan looks her way. She closes the door that is now blocking my path to Mattie and goes back into her own room.

“M’dude, where are you going?” he asks me quietly, his arms gripping around my neck as though he might be able to keep me with him by sheer force.

“I’m just going to get us some more food, that’s all.” I try to sound reassuring.

“But Mattie said to say goodbye.” He crinkles his small face, and I assume he’s getting ready to cry.

“Goodbye for now, not forever. I’ll see you again,” I promise him.

He takes a moment to let my words soak in. “You promise?”

“Yes, now I just need to say a quick goodbye to Mattie, and then I’ll be on my way.”

He nods, still holding tightly to me.

I touch the door, letting it open, only to be met by Hannah’s annoyed face.

“You can leave him here and go now,” she snaps.

“I just want to speak with Mattie for a moment.”

“No!” Hannah yells, upsetting Logan in the process.

“Oh, for God’s sake. Fine, come in and say whatever you feel you need to say, and then you can hurry up and go,” Mattie says, sounding exasperated.

“Are you sure?” Hannah glances at Mattie, who is sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yes, take Logan so he doesn’t have to hear this.”

Logan doesn’t want to let go of me, though. I end up having to pry his hands away from my neck. He goes into Hannah’s arms reluctantly, and then she walks them out of the room, giving me one last glare before she turns the corner.

“What is it?” she says, not looking at me, instead staring at her hands as they shake in her lap.

“I’m leaving with Ival now.”

“My words from earlier still stand; I don’t want to see you again.”

Her words feel like a slap.

“But I love you. I love us. Does that mean nothing to you now?”

When her head snaps up, she gives me a scathing look. “Don’t act like this is something I’ve done to us. You were willing to sacrifice hundreds of thousands of humans for a war we don’t deserve to be a part of.”

“But it was to protect you, to protect Riley.”

“That might be part of your sick reasoning, but it’s also so you can protect your people. Who is there to protect mine? Why do you get to decide who lives and who dies?”

“I think I can get Ival to agree to give back Earth. It would be a penance for what you’ve all been put through.”

“Marduke, we’ve already been put through enough. We never deserved to have Earth taken from us in the first place. Do you really think giving it back now makes it all better? We had billions of people on our planet before, how many will get the chance to return? How many less after you hand them over to those creatures?”

I sigh, knowing our conversation isn’t going to get us anywhere. I don’t think there is a correct answer for what we’re meant to do, as a result I’ll never get it right.

“I need you to put the argu back on.”

“No!”

“Mattie,
please
.”

“I’m not going anywhere, so there is no point. If you’re leaving, then you should put it on.”

“It’s not mine anymore; it belongs to you and Riley.”

“I really can’t do this right now.” Her voice breaks, which in turn, breaks my heart. “Please, can you just leave?”

“I’m sorry,” I say sadly, moving to stand in front of her and crouching down, taking her hands that are resting on her lap and overlapping them with mine. “I never meant to hurt you. I will do whatever it takes to make this right between us.”

“What if there isn’t anything that can make this right? What if, when I look at you now, all I see is pain and suffering that humans are about to go through and have already been through?”

“I’m hoping that, perhaps, you’ll be able to look at me and see the man you once saw before.”

“I’m not sure if he even existed now. Did you always know you’d use humans this way? That we wouldn’t have any rights on Oden? Did you know that we were as good as dead when you invaded us?”

“I couldn’t have predicted Jeprow and the Claws. This wasn’t planned, and right now, this is our last resort. If we don’t have a distraction, then there is no chance of us slowing down the Claws. More people will die, and that will include humans. They’ve already taken over most of Oden. We’re losing this fight. Our hinemas are being destroyed. If we don’t act now, within days, Oden will be lost.”

She sighs, her eyes looking sad, and her shoulders sag. “I’m tired, Marduke. I don’t hate you, but I hate the choice that you have made. It forces me to make my own choice, one that neither of us likes. I guess, we are doomed to always be unhappy now.”

“I want that family I envisioned. I want our baby—our
son
—to have that happy family. He is ours and you are mine.”

“I can’t be with someone who thinks my race is expendable. Riley is part human, too, you know? When you sentence my people to death, you’re sentencing his, too.”

I exhale loudly, hating how lost I feel. I want to do right by Mattie and Riley, but I know that the best way to protect them is to do what Ival says, and Mattie believes that to be the wrong thing. Humans are fighters; they at least will have the instinct to use a gun against a Claw. Our own soldiers don’t even have that instinct, so how will our civilians cope? We have had only peace on Oden. Our people don’t know of wars or fighting. Humans will have a better chance of surviving this.

I stand, letting her hands slip from mine.

“Be safe out there,” she says softly, her voice clearly dismissing me now.

“Are you sure you won’t wear the argu?”

She shakes her head and then places her hands behind her and pushes herself up the bed, moving until her head is at the other end. She curls into herself then, her hands holding her stomach and her eyes closed, a tear escaping them.

“Good bye, Mattie,” I whisper, moving to stand beside her before leaning over and kissing her hair gently. She doesn’t even stir.

I reluctantly leave the room, feeling as though I’ve left part of myself behind with her. There is a good chance she’ll always have that part of me, and I’ll never be the same again.

I head back the way I came, stopping in the war room to find the tablet that Mattie threw at me. I stare at the image of Riley, of my son. As my need to protect both he and Mattie grows, I know that I might have to become someone Mattie doesn’t want to ensure their safety. I’ve promised I would do whatever it takes to keep them safe, and unfortunately for Mattie, this plan is it.

I move over to a safe and place the tablet in there, saving the image so it can’t ever be erased. If I can survive this, then I fear this might be the only piece of my son I’ll be allowed to have.

Once it is locked away, I leave the room and head towards where I know Ival is. He had already placed our soldiers on boats to get them across the river. We haven’t had a need to use them in over a hundred years, subsequently the only reason they have been kept and maintained has been for historic purposes. We’re not even sure if they are capable of making the trip, and then there is the chance they will be seen and taken down before they can get to Edael and the other islands.

If they can make it, then the women and men will divide into two groups. One half will find and destroy enough boxes to make a tamdet work. Already our soldiers are doing that here. The other half will release as many humans from the bunkers as they can. Children will be spared, but all women and men will be forced to leave their safety and transported to Jyin. From there, they will be given weapons and their survival instinct will hopefully kick in. The Claws will be there, ready to attack, and they should cause enough problems to make Jeprow take notice.

The humans will keep being sent until Jeprow figures out a tamdet is working and disables it again. Hopefully, we’ll have enough humans to keep up the distraction here when that happens. Then, when we have the signal that Jeprow is elsewhere, Ival and I will break into our home and go after the black box that is there.