Of Eternal Life (9 page)

She flicked her eyes sideways and caught Eli’s form in her peripheral vision. He was waiting for her to say something, bouncing around on the balls of his feet.

“Wow,” she said. “That’s really — ” She paused to clear her throat. “He’s really something.” What else could she say? The statue was so far from politically correct it redefined boundaries.

Eli hadn’t noticed her cautious tone, thank goodness, and bounced once more before settling back on his heels. “Isn’t he? Trust me, he’s even more impressive when you’re nine.”

“You’ve been here before?” Abilene asked.

Eli nodded. “When I was a kid….” He drifted off, then cleared his throat. “Come on, let’s check out the trading post. We can get lunch.” Eli walked back to her, grabbed her hand without ceremony, and tugged her toward the dilapidated shop behind the statue.

The smell of animal skins bowled her over as they strode into the trading post. She skidded to a stop. The trading post was filled with wall-to-wall souvenirs, each marked with a sign reading “Authentic.” She smiled at Eli’s obvious excitement. This trading post was no more “authentic” than Lucille Ball’s trademark red hair.

He nudged her with his shoulder. “Go on. Look around.” Where his shoulder had innocently touched her, she burned. Throughout the day, the tingles of this morning had morphed into something much more serious. Every contact ended in physical pain. It was not the contact itself that was painful; it was the withdrawal that nearly did her in.

This realization caused her to clutch at his hand when he dropped her own. He looked at her when he noticed as she grimaced against the uncomfortable sensations coursing through her.

“I’m fine,” she assured him through gritted teeth. His expression said he didn’t believe her, but he gave her some space anyway, walking away from her to look at some tomahawks. She exhaled in relief. It was just unfair that touch seemed to affect him so little.

She continued to watch him as he moved throughout the shop, finding more joy in observing his child-like reactions than she would find in her own window shopping. He had to trail his fingers over
everything
as he walked. Abilene found herself irrationally jealous of a pile of rabbit pelts, a box of arrowheads, a bow and arrow set. When she found herself envying a stuffed beaver, she knew it was time to snap out of it.

She walked over to a display of turquoise jewelry. She became enthralled with the depth and beauty of the stones as her thoughts turned inward.

Today, things were different. Eli was treating her differently. He’d always been polite and considerate, even when she’d been nothing but a kidnapping victim to him, but today, he was
kind
. She wasn’t an idiot; she could tell he’d turned on the charm, but
why
he had decided to charm her was still a mystery. Abilene just hoped it wasn’t for the sole purpose of getting into her pants, because, God help her, she could barely resist him as it was, even knowing she had to remain professional.

“Hey,” Eli said at her shoulder, startling her from her revelry and causing her to jump. “Whoa, sorry,” he offered as he casually brushed her lower back with the flat of his palm. He’d meant the gesture to be comforting, but as his hand dropped back to his side, Abilene couldn’t prevent a groan as intense pinpricks bordering on torture swamped her.

The next second, Eli was in her face. “Are you in
pain
?” he asked, his voice intense. The force of the question took Abilene aback. “I’m fine,” she whispered, finding it impossible to put enough emotion behind her words to convince him. “I’m just going to go use the restroom. Meet you back in the truck?”

Eli opened his mouth as if to argue, but then snapped it shut. He gave her a curt nod, and Abilene turned from him and all-but-fled to the ladies’ restroom.

As the swinging door thumped behind her, she caught her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were wide. Panicked. And pain still laced up and down her spine where Eli’s hand had rested just seconds ago.

She was in trouble.

She had a feeling that the unpleasant sensations would continue to gain in intensity until …
what exactly?
She frowned into the mirror, deep lines appearing in her brow.

Unfortunately, the only time the pain got better was when Eli was touching her, and wasn’t that just wonderful. If things got much worse, she might even resort to begging him for his touch, and after her little freak-out session yesterday morning in the abandoned house, she doubted he’d be excited by the idea.

“He’s my
patient
. He’s my
patient
,” she chanted at her reflection. She splashed cool water on her face before heading back out into the Oklahoma sunshine.

Eli was leaning against the passenger side door of the truck with his arms crossed over his chest. It caused his t-shirt to pull across his pecs and biceps, and her mouth watered.

Damn, damn, damn
!

“I’ll drive for a while,” he said gently. His tone was one he would use with a cornered animal, and Abilene knew that her behavior today was making her appear weak. Vulnerable. She
hated
that.

Eli opened the door for her with a pointed look, and Abilene made her way toward him, her feet dragging in the dirt parking lot. She couldn’t stop herself from brushing against him as she got into her car. As her shoulder grazed across his chest, she shivered from the relief the action brought, then gritted her teeth as the pain came again while she settled into the seat.

Eli, of course, noticed. He swore in a low voice, but shut the door and made his way to the driver’s seat. He sat still for a few seconds, his hands gripping the steering wheel.

“I, um, got something for you,” he said. He sounded embarrassed and shy, a tantalizing combination Abilene realized regretfully seemed to be another thing that she couldn’t resist in a man.

Eli dug his hand into his left hip pocket. It emerged a second later, and he extended it toward her. His fingers were clenched over something, and he turned his palm up and revealed what he held. Cradled in the palm of his hand was the turquoise bracelet Abilene had been staring at when Eli startled her earlier.

Abilene gasped. She reached out to brush her fingers over the stone, but Eli evaded her, turning his hand over to dangle the bracelet from his fingers. The move allowed her to take possession of the gift without having to touch him.

She didn’t know if she was relieved or embarrassed to know he’d noticed her pain was touch-related. Maybe a bit of both. She gave him a wobbly smile as she slid the bracelet onto her wrist.

“It comes with a condition,” Eli continued. She looked at him again. “Take these?” He now held a travel-sized portion of painkillers in one hand and, of all things, a Yoo-hoo in the other. Abilene felt herself fight tears as his thoughtfulness overwhelmed her. She freaking
loved
Yoo-hoo. “I know it’s a kid’s drink, but it always makes me feel better,” he explained.

And Abilene felt herself fall a little bit for Eli.

“Shit,” she whispered. He heard her.

“Um, I can get you something else to take the pills with, if you want,” he said.

She snatched the bottle from him. “This is fine,” she snapped.
Undone by a bottle of Yoo-hoo. Oh, how the mighty have fallen
.

Pain hit Abilene hard as her fingers brushed his, and she began to moan. She wrapped her arms around herself and doubled over as though she’d been punched in the gut.

• • •

Eli cursed frantically, his hands hovering over her shuddering form, even as he felt faint echoes of pain himself. He felt so helpless. He couldn’t make this better. Touching would only make it worse.

You’ll only make it worse if you
stop
touching her once you’ve started
.

“Okay,” he said in as calming a voice as he could manage, ignoring the Voice for now.

“Okay, Abilene, I’ll get you to a bed as soon as I can. I promise,” he said as he started the truck and peeled out.

“I want to sleep,” she protested. “I just need to sleep. Please don’t make me move again.”

Hell, that was easy. He would drive until they ran out of road if that was all she wanted. “Shhh,” he soothed. “You can do that. I won’t stop for the night unless you give me the go-ahead, okay?”

She exhaled and curled into the window. Her breath fogged the glass in short bursts. Eli kept one anxious eye on her and one on the road until he noticed that her breaths had evened. She was already asleep.

Or had passed out
. His muscles tightened even more. This was not okay. Abilene in pain was
not okay
.

He knew he’d promised her that he wouldn’t touch her, but these were extenuating circumstances. Eli knew, just
knew
, the only reason he wasn’t in as much pain as Abilene was because he had orgasmed this morning.

He couldn’t just watch her suffer. He knew how to make it stop; he had to act. He kept anxious vigil over her as he pondered his next steps.

She began to stir about three hours later, and Eli held his breath as he waited to see what condition she was in after sleeping like the dead for the last couple hundred miles.

When she didn’t begin moaning again, Eli took heart. Perhaps the pain had stopped.

“How are you feeling, baby?” he asked in a soft whisper, for some reason thinking his volume could prevent her further suffering.

Her head rolled on her shoulders until she was looking at him. Her hurt flashed in her eyes, and Eli’s stomach dropped.
So, the pain’s not gone, then
.

She offered him a weak smile. “It’s not as bad as it was,” she muttered, embarrassed to be discussing this with him. He was sure she’d prefer if he pretended he didn’t know what was going on.

Yeah, well, that’s not gonna happen, darlin’
.

“Um,” she licked dry lips, “is the offer of a bed still good?”

Eli was so relieved that she was offering him another way to help her that he took the first exit he could before even checking if they were in a town with a hotel. Fortunately, they had just pulled in to Ozark, Arkansas, and Eli saw the glowing sign for a Day’s Inn as soon as he got to the bottom of the exit ramp.

“Almost there, darlin’,” he told her as he pulled closer to the hotel. “Do you need anything to eat?”

She looked like she felt ill at the question. “Oh, God,” she groaned, “no food.”

“Shhh, okay, no food.” He parked in the lot of the Day’s Inn and tore out of the truck like a man possessed. He made it to the lobby in record time, and the desk clerk looked up warily as Eli barreled toward him.

Eli forced himself to calm down as he went about the business of securing a room for the night, but the clerk seemed to move as though he were stuck in a vat of molasses. As soon as Eli had the key in hand, he raced out of the lobby at a dead run. He knew he should be keeping a low profile, and his current behavior was anything but inconspicuous, but Abilene had given him something to do. He was damn well going to do it.

When he got back to the truck, Abilene was already leaning against the rear fender waiting for him. He’d missed getting to help her out of the car.
What help could you have been?
Maybe it was better for both of them that he hadn’t been here to stand impotently by as she struggled against new onrushes of soreness.

“Alright, Abi, we’re on the ground floor close to the lobby.” He nodded in the direction from which he’d come, and Abilene began a painful shuffle to their door. Eli followed on her heels, pondering what he would do if she tripped. Fell. He hated it that he didn’t have a ready answer. He resorted to a prayer-like repetition of
just make it to the door, make it to the door
in the absence of anything better to do.

When they arrived at their room, he fumbled with the key, his anxiousness causing his hands to shake, before throwing the door open, and allowing Abilene to continue into the room. She made her way to the closest bed and began to lower herself to the cheap duvet.

She lost her balance.

Everything went into slow motion. Abilene began to fall. She reflexively reached out to Eli just as he was doing the same toward her. Their hands grasped one another as Abilene crashed into the mattress, pulling Eli down with her. His weight crushed her as he fell onto her, their bodies pressed chest to thigh.

They both froze.

Oh, no
, Eli’s panicked mind raved at him. He should have been more careful. Should have stood further away. He was riddled with guilt, but the guilt was heaviest in the part of his mind that was rejoicing that he could feel every lush curve of her body pressed against him.

“Don’t pull away,” she moaned. “
Please
.” Tears filled her eyes. “It hurts so bad when you pull away.” Her breath was shaky. One lone tear rolled down her cheek.

“God, baby, no,” his voice was so rough, he wondered if he was fighting his own tears. She was wrecking him. “I won’t pull away.”
Ever
.

He was touching her. The effect on them both had been instantaneous. Abilene’s brow had smoothed in the absence of her pain. The tiny aches Eli had been feeling condensed and rushed to his groin.

The damage was done. By a lucky mistake, he was touching her and wasn’t allowed to stop. He knew he should just hold still; this was enough to keep the pain away. But no amount of reasoning could stop his hand from moving to her forehead to brush over her brow. His fingers traveled into her hair, and he wrapped one of her curls around his index finger.

She sighed in relief and turned into his palm. The feel of her beneath him was sweet torture. Her breasts felt exquisite. Her belly kept expanding and contracting with her breaths, and the feel of it surging and retreating against his own abdomen was driving him crazy. He wanted to feel it skin to skin.

Eli was harder than he’d ever been, and he was riding the razor’s edge of control. He was cursing that promise he’d made her yesterday. He was able to stop her pain with just the simple touching they were currently doing. He couldn’t in good conscience take this any further. As clichéd as it sounded, he respected her too much for that.