Of Gods and Wolves (6 page)

“But that doesn't mean you have to go home,” Thor was still arguing with me when we arrived in the living room of my little house in Kaneohe, Hawaii.

“
I'm perfectly safe now, babe,” I sighed and dropped my suitcase on the floor before letting Nick, my gray tabby, out of his cat carrier. “With the Froekn as my allies now, and Aphrodite dead, I'm probably safer than I've ever been.”

“
So you're saying they can protect you better than I,” he glowered at me.

“
No, I...” I'd finally taken a good look around my living room and saw Jackson standing in the middle of it with a shocked expression. “Ah, hi, Jackson.”

“
Hey,” he breathed.

“
Who the hell is this?” Thor roared. I guess he'd reached his limit, what with Trevor bonding me, Fenrir fighting me, and now me moving back home. A gorgeous man standing in my living room, like he belonged there, was just too much for the Viking to take.

“
This is Jackson,” I jumped in front of my friend, who knew nothing of my secret godhunting life. “Remember how I told you about having a friend who came over to check on Nick occasionally? This is him. Jackson, this is Thor.”

“
You guys just,” Jackson waved distractedly at the place we traced in, “you just...”

“
Yeah, um,” I looked at Thor for help but he was still staring furiously at Jackson. “Thor! Jackson is one of my best friends. He's also in a committed relationship... with my friend
Tristan
.”

“
Tristan?” Thor blinked like he was coming out of a daze.

“
Yeah, Tristan,” I sighed. Sheesh, with the jealousy already. “Um Jackson, yeah, you know how I'm a witch?”

“
Uh huh,” Jackson was staring at Thor now, taking in the wild hair, the muscles, the Nordic features.

“
So, I uh, oh hell,” I looked at Thor again. He was starting to relax, as it finally occurred to him that Jackson had absolutely no sexual interest in me. “Help me out here, baby.”

“
What?” He frowned and then realized he'd just traced, in front of a human. “Oh, I'm a god. Thor. Nice to meet you,” he extended his hand and Jackson stared at it as if he'd never seen one before.

“
Great, Thor, very subtle,” I smacked his hand back.

“
What I say?”

“
Jackson, have a seat,” I settled us on one sofa while Thor took the other one and I started explaining what I'd really been doing with most of my time.

Jackson sat quietly through it all and when I was finished, he blinked and seemed to surface from his shock. He looked over at Thor again, this time with utter fascination. A wrinkle marred his forehead as things started to really process and I just waited, Nick curling around my feet, purring. He was so happy to be home.

“What about the lwa?” Jackson burst out.

Jackson was a practitioner of Voodoo, being introduced to it at a young age by his grandmother. In Voodoo they believed that God was too busy to interact with humans so he'd created the lwa. The lwa were supposed to have once been living people who had accomplished great works and so, upon death, were elevated to an almost angelic status. They helped humanity, and their devotees served them with offerings and deeds that were supposed to feed the lwa and keep them strong. Practitioners devoted themselves to one lwa in particular and served them for life. Jackson's was Erzulei-Freda, the lwa of love, beauty, and wealth.

“They're ours as well,” Thor answered for me.

“
Have you met her?” Jackson looked to me eagerly.

I smiled, I should have known he'd take it so well. He probably suspected a lot of what I'd told him already. I also should have known that his first thought would be for Erzulie. I mean, who wouldn't immediately wonder what their version of Diety was really like? I guess it was a perfectly normal response for an incredibly unusual situation.

“I haven't met her,” I patted his hand when his face fell. “But I've met Yemanja. Thor dated her.”

“
You what?” I could see all his preconceived ideas of the lwas start to crumble. “Have
you
met Erzulie-Freda?”

“
I have,” Thor said simply and I turned sharply to face him. “She's lovely.”

“
Is she?” I felt my brow rising. “Did you date her too?”

“
No, she cries too much for my taste,” Thor shrugged. “She's very sensitive. I'm uncomfortable around weepy women.”

“
What else is she like?” Jackson was absorbing every word.

“
She's,” Thor sighed and spread his hands, “dramatic and very particular about things. Oh and she has a thing for birds.”

“
Birds?” Jackson asked. “You mean doves? That's the animal associated with her.”

“
No, just birds,” Thor snorted. “It's another reason we never dated. I hated having to constantly be on guard for falling bird shit. I hate birds.”

“
Can you introduce me?” Jackson sat on the edge of the sofa, leaning toward Thor.

“
Sure,” Thor shrugged. “If I see her again. We don't cross paths often. The lwa don't have the same problems a lot of the other gods have. Their followers still believe and they give the lwas energy aplenty but if I do see her, I'll try and work out an introduction.”

“
That would amazing.”

“
Yes, amazing,” I stood. “But I'm kinda beat guys and I still have to unpack. Can we catch up more later?”

“
Of course,” Jackson jumped up.

“
You know,” Thor mused, “you could ask her to come speak with you. Let her know that you know the truth and she won't have a reason to hide. She may be pleased to have a follower she could show herself to without having to go through that whole possession thing.”

“
Really?” Jackson walked to the door in a daze.

We said our goodbyes and I was finally able to get not only Jackson but Thor out of my house. Then I was alone. No gods in the next room, no werewolves waiting outside in the foliage. No complicated attractions to men I shouldn't be attracted to. I didn't have to prove anything or kill anyone there. I breathed deeply and smiled. It was good to be home.

I went to bed contemplating the possibility of becoming a shut-in.

I grimaced at the sorry state of my herb garden as I pulled out the weeds. I'd neglected my home for way too long. It was a good thing Kaneohe rained so often or they'd all be dead. I had about three bags of rotten fruit to throw away from the back yard already. I would have been crushed if my herbs had kicked the bucket too.

A shadow fell over me and I turned around, startled. There stood Blue with determination spread across his face. I inhaled sharply, dropping weeds as I jumped up. Before I could react further, he grabbed me by both arms and traced us out. We ended up standing before the pyramid he'd brought me to the first time he invaded my dreams.

“How the hell did you find me, Blue?” I sucked in deep breaths as I backed away from him. Tracing without preparation was not healthy. Like going underwater without taking a breath first.

“
I've always known where you live, little witch,” he smirked. “I could have taken you at any time but I meant what I told you before. I wanted to win you. I wanted you to see me, to come to love me back. So I gave you time and space. That's what all your modern literature advises.”

“
Are you talking about self-help books?” I gaped at him. I had a vision of Blue relaxed in a chair, reading
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
.

“
I brought you here because I wanted you to see where I had lived, in person,” he gestured around him, totally ignoring my comment.

I followed his hand and looked out around me. The pyramid was as big as I remembered it from my dream but the stones were worn and much of the whole complex had been obliterated by time. Even in its diminished state though, the Pyramid of the Sun loomed menacingly above me as I marveled up at it. The street we were on was called the Avenue of the Dead and was lined with low, stone-faced structures. (No, I didn’t ask how it had got its name. I didn’t want to know.) The vibrant colors had faded and the city that had once surrounded the complex was gone, buried partly under Mexico City.

“So this is where you lived?” I turned away from the rising hulk of the pyramid to stare at Blue. I had to keep calm. If I kept the conversation polite and calm, maybe he wouldn't murder me. Or maybe I could at least stall long enough for Thor to get there.
Thor!
I screamed in my head, waiting impatiently for some kind of answer. None came.

“
For many years, yes,” Blue was looking on the pyramid like an ex-lover he still pined for. He wanted to hold her and reclaim her but knew it was impossible. “The Pyramid of the Sun was mine. It’s 700 feet square at its base. Isn’t it magnificent?”

“
Yes, it is,” I stared up the wide steps to the temple at the top where he’d brought me in the dream.
Thor, where the hell are you?
I screamed silently again.

“
Your lover can't hear you. I've blocked him out. My sister’s pyramid is the Pyramid of the Moon, over there,” he pointed down the lane to the second largest structure.

“
What?” I almost didn't catch it. “Did you say you blocked out Thor from my mind?”

“
Yes, and my Father’s pyramid was in a great enclosure there,” he pointed in the other direction and I saw the small pyramid from his memories. “We lived in the palaces surrounding it.”

“
How the hell did you do that?” I watched as he tore his attention away from the pyramid to look at me.

“
Quite easily, the palaces were very large and beautiful.”

“
No, damn you, I meant blocking out Thor.”

“
Nevermind that leather-wearing lout, you need to pay attention, Vervain. I'm telling you about my family,” he took my hand. “I wanted you to see my birthplace. I thought maybe if you could see it, if you could feel what was once here, then maybe you could understand why I am what I am.”

He looked so sincere, I almost believed him but how could I let anything he said to me sway me after learning the truth about his actions from Aphrodite? Maybe he did love me but it was a twisted, self-serving love and that wasn’t the kind of love I wanted.

I wasn’t wise enough in the ways of the heart to know for certain that my idea of love was the only true way to love someone. In fact, the only thing about love I did know for certain was that I’d never know all the forms it could take. Just because I held the love magic now, didn't make me an expert.

So I couldn’t denounce Blue’s love for me as being so different from the ideal that it wasn’t love at all. Who was I to say how he felt? I could however, say with absolute conviction that it wasn’t the version I wanted in my life. Not to mention, he was acting like a complete psycho.

“I do understand you,” I stared up into the blood pools of his eyes. They were almost beautiful, surrounded by that thick fall of sleek, black hair. “It doesn’t mean I can accept you. I hate what happened to you and I believe you were justified in killing your brothers, but what it’s made you is monstrous. All I want to do is heal your hurt, take away the pain, and reveal the man you were but I can’t do that now.”

“
Why?” He took me by the arms and pulled me against him. “Why won’t you love me?”

“
You make it impossible.”

His face fell into cold, hard lines and he dropped one of my arms but kept his hold on the other, to pull me behind him as he walked down the Avenue of the Dead. I could feel his anger start to heat his skin and I knew if he got too hot, he’d burn me. The thought of death reminded me that it wasn't just myself I had to think about anymore. If I went down, I was taking Trevor with me.

Trevor! What had he said about calling him? Just say his name into the wind or something like that. Did he mean it literally or was that just pretty werewolf poetry?

“
Trevor,” I whispered over my shoulder, as I hoped for a miracle. “I need you!”

Blue pulled me along towards his father’s temple and his memory flared through me with a sudden, shocking burst. I saw the bodies of his brothers piled at the pyramid’s base. I saw the blood everywhere, malicious strokes over the walls and floors. He had drenched the temple in blood as he consumed them, and it had poured in rivers down the stairs. The human body held a lot of blood, I knew that, I just hadn't been confronted with such graphic evidence before.

I closed my eyes and swallowed the scream that threatened to rise. Never let them see you sweat. Just breathe, calm breaths, in and out. While I continued to do my breathing exercises, he continued to drag me up the stairs to his father’s temple. We reached the top but the temple itself had long ago fallen away to dust. The stones were clean, the bloodstains gone. Nothing was left to testify to the horrendous massacre he had wrought.

He dropped my arm and paced the open space, lost in his despair for a moment. I fell to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees to try and stop my trembling. I'd faced down the wolf god, you'd think a little ol' vampire god wouldn't scare me but Blue wasn't just any god. He was a god other gods feared. He could take my mind, turn it against me, and make me do exactly what he wanted without ever lifting a finger. I didn't stand a chance.

The stone beneath me was shockingly cold; the kind of cold you get when the bath water’s too hot and the air conditioning’s too high, so the merging of the two extremes makes you feel like the flesh exposed will never be warm again. You keep adding more hot water until you’re pink and sweating. You keep turning up the heat until the chill is gone. I looked at Blue and I could feel the waves of heat rolling off him. For the first time in my life, I preferred the cold.

“
Can you see them?” He covered his face with his hands and screamed. “You did this! You made me feel again! You gave me my heart back and now you rend it to pieces. You’ve taken away the only thing that’s kept me from going insane: my apathy.” He dropped to his knees and started to weep, great giant sobs racking his body. Then he looked up at me with tears still pouring from his eyes. “You take away my control and then you call me a monster. Well look upon your creation, am I not everything you hoped I’d be?”

“
No,” I covered my face. “I didn’t do this. I didn’t make you a monster.”

“
No, you didn't.” He pulled me to my feet and yanked my hands away from my face. “You made me
feel
like one!”

His hands seared my skin, pulling a scream from me as the smell of burnt flesh filled my nose, but he seemed distracted. He turned his head to the side as if he were listening to something. Then I heard it too, a slight ringing. A rushing sound of movement. An almost hypnotic, pulsing sound.

“Your wolf is here,” he pulled me in tighter as I screamed again and in moments we were in the stone entry room of his home in the God Realm. He pushed me to the floor with disgust and poured the waiting pitcher of blood over his head. He took a deep breath as the blood sank in, quenching his heat, then looked at me steadily and started forward.

“
You said you loved me,” I slid backwards on the floor away from him, the pain of my burns taking a backseat to my panic.

“
I do,” he smiled and his fangs were startling white against his dark skin.

“
Love is wanting what's best for someone,” I stumbled to my feet. “Love doesn't seek revenge or punishment.”

“
No, little witch,” his smile grew even more wicked. “Love is a madness and you have drove me to it.”

I blanched and nearly fell again. “So now you kill me to regain your sanity?”

“No, sweet flower,” his face softened but I knew it was a lie. “I won't kill you. I’m going to make you as I am. Then we can be monstrous together.”

“
No,” I shook my head and backed up. “Hell no!”

I turned and ran. I knew the only way out was behind me but I ran anyway. It was instinctual, pure and simple. Danger was behind me so I'd go in the opposite direction. I ran through the hallway, through his bedroom and out into the jungle. I heard him laughing and I tripped and fell into the thick undergrowth, scraping my hands and breaking open the blisters on my arms. My heart raced as I jumped to my feet and pushed further into the dense wilderness.

Hide. Run. Hide. The words pounded through me. I couldn’t let him catch me. I couldn't become a vampire. I thought about the centuries passing as I was bound to him. Forced to take blood to live. My mind not my own. A servant as much as his priests were but worse, I’d be serving him in his bed. I’d share eternity with him in blood and sex and he’d make me love it… love him. My mind and body would not be my own anymore.

I shoved aside vines reaching out to strangle me and felt my breath coming harshly. I couldn’t outrun him. Where would I go? I didn’t even know where I was really. I stopped and bent over, trying to catch my breath, and I heard them.

Thrashing sounds echoed around me. They weren't even trying to be quiet, they were making as much noise as possible. He’d sent his vampire priests out to herd me in. Panic filled me and then the spark that was Trevor…no…
Vѐ
ulfR, came to life within me. It filled me with wild energy and I jumped forward. My Nahual added her instincts to the mix, this being more her territory than the wolf's, and for the first time, they worked together.

I cleared fallen debris and wove through the jungle like it was home to me. The branches that reached for me passed harmlessly by as I instinctively swerved to miss them. My path appeared clear before me, my eyes instinctively going straight to the best course. For a second I felt joyous, free among the wild things. My legs and lungs seemed more powerful. I could run for miles and nothing would stop me.

Then I heard his voice behind me, calling to me sweetly, as if I were already his lover, and I turned towards it automatically. The ground fell away in that one distracted moment and I fell with it. I felt my body tumbling and I reached out around me for anything to break my fall. I felt earth fill my nails as I pulled grass free but found no purchase. My sides burned where roots and rocks ripped at me. The world spun as I rolled until I felt a warm hand grip my arm and pull me to a stop.

I looked up and Blue’s face was above me. He smoothed my hair back gently and I began to cry. I couldn't help it, the adrenaline, the chase, the fear, and the need for escape, it all came crashing down on me. I had failed, it was all over.

“Shhh,” he eased me onto his lap and I saw that we were halfway down a slope into a ravine. “It’s going to be alright now,” he whispered as he lowered his mouth to my neck.

I kept crying in futility and I hated myself for it. The adrenaline was leaving me, the wolf soul curling within my belly in submission, and the jaguar growling softly as she backed herself away. I sobbed as he drank from me, cried at the horror my life was about to become. Blue stroked my back and his mouth on my neck started to feel sensuous. I whimpered as my traitorous body responded to him.

He lifted his head and there was a drop of blood on his lips, his tongue flicked out and licked it. “Sleep now, little witch, sleep.”

The nightmare had begun.