Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2) (10 page)

I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but nothing could make me feel better about the prospect of Kristina’s arrival. “Are you still going back to L.A. on Friday?” I knew Mack had been planning on being in Chicago only until the end of the week, but I was loathe to see him go. He was an ally, and now that Kristina was on her way here, I needed him more than ever.

“I’ll probably extend my stay to at least Sunday. We’ll see.”

I was relieved by his answer, and surprised myself by giving him a quick hug. He patted my back, probably nonplussed by my hug, and left.

When I returned to Logan’s room, he was leaned back against the pillows with his eyes closed. He looked so vulnerable and much younger than usual. He was paler than normal, and I had to resist the urge to comb my fingers through his hair.

His eyes opened when he heard the door open and he smiled at me. My heart squeezed. We were just getting on the right track, only to have it ruined by Kristina’s impending arrival. I purposely hadn’t mentioned Kristina to Logan because I didn’t think she was a necessary person to remember, but I now realized I had to gain the upper hand by telling him about her before she got here.

“You must be tired,” I said, wishing I didn’t have to bring her up. Maybe this could wait until later. “Do you want me to leave so you can get some rest?”

Logan shook his head. “No, I’m okay. I was just resting my eyes. I want you to stay.”

I smiled at him and sat down in the chair next to his bed. I took a deep breath before speaking. “Do you remember a woman named Kristina?”

Logan shook his head. “No. Who is she?”

I chose my words carefully. “You dated her when you lived in L.A. When you moved back to Chicago, you didn’t come alone. You brought her with you.”

Logan frowned. “We must have been pretty serious, then.”

I pressed my lips together. “I guess.” It was hard for me to say the next words because it made me feel obnoxious, even though it was the truth. “You told me that she was a stand-in for me while we were apart. She even kind of looks a little like me. We couldn’t stay away from each other and you ended up breaking up with her so we could be together. She didn’t take it very well, but ended up moving back to L.A. I think she’s still convinced that you two are meant to be together.” My hands were fidgeting as I spoke. “She found out about your accident and she’s flying here to see you. Mack mentioned it to me because she contacted him. She’ll probably be here tomorrow.”

I watched Logan process what I had told him. I didn’t know what I expected his reaction to be, but I knew I didn’t expect him to be so nonchalant about it. He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe it’s a good thing. It’s just another person to help fill in the blanks.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I had no response to give, so I changed the subject.

“The doctor said they’re releasing you on Friday,” I said. “You must be relieved.”

“I can’t wait to get out of here,” Logan replied. “It’ll be nice to actually sleep in my own bed.”

“What are you going to do about work?”

“They said I can take a couple of months off, but I’ll be going back sooner than that. I may not remember certain things, but my memory hasn’t been impaired when it comes to work. I still remember everything about all my clients perfectly.” Logan frowned. “It’s funny that I seem to remember all the impersonal details about my life.”

“Next week is Thanksgiving.” I hesitated before continuing, unsure how to broach the subject. “We had planned on spending it together. Your parents are abroad and my dad is finally dating someone and he and his girlfriend are planning on going down to Florida for the holiday.” I bit my lip. “We were going to make turkey and all the fixings. Do you still want to do that?”

Logan took my hand in his. “Madison, I know this is hard for you. I realize it must be difficult to have someone you love tell you that they don’t know who you are. Just be patient with me. I have to believe that I’ll get my memory back. But even without my memory, I’ve already realized that you’re a smart, funny and amazing woman. And I’d have to be blind to not see how beautiful you are. Even without remembering our past, I look at you and I know I want you. I have to believe my memories will come back with time.”

I didn’t know how to respond to him. The way he was looking at me reminded me of how he used to look at me before sweeping me off my feet to the bedroom. Or the kitchen floor. Or the breakfast table. I felt myself flush at the thought.

“So,” I finally said. “Does that mean we’re spending Thanksgiving together?”

Logan smiled at my lame response. “Yeah, it means we’re spending Thanksgiving together.”

I smiled back at him, feeling the most hopeful I had been since the accident. Logan and I were meant to be together, and nothing could change that. Not amnesia, and certainly not Kristina.

Chapter Eight

I spent a few more hours with Logan, but I could tell he was exhausted, so I left him for the night with promises to return the next day. When I got home, I checked my email and was relieved when I saw Jameson, my boss, had replied to my email, telling me to take as much time as I needed. I was grateful for such an understanding boss.

Emily called me later that night, and I unloaded all the details about Kristina to her. She was appropriately appalled and got all fired up, telling me she’d come to the hospital tomorrow as backup. I convinced her that it wasn’t necessary because I knew her boss wasn’t as understanding as mine. We ended the call with me promising to call her if I needed to her to come to the hospital tomorrow.

I had a fitful night, replaying different scenarios of what could happen when Kristina inevitably showed up. I finally ended up taking some sleeping pills, because I didn’t want to be exhausted tomorrow when I faced the enemy.

Thursday morning was gray and dreary, and despite getting a full night’s rest, I still felt exhausted. That didn’t stop me from rushing to get ready to go to the hospital. I was afraid of not being there when Kristina arrived. Despite Mack telling me I had nothing to worry about, I wasn’t so sure.

Logan was out of bed and lounging on the small sofa in his room watching TV when I arrived. I was relieved to see he was alone. He smiled when I walked in, obviously pleased to see me.

“I was wondering when you would get here.”

He had missed me. We were making progress. I lifted the brown bag I was carrying. “I stopped to get some bagels. After the travesty of your hospital breakfast yesterday, I figured you needed some real food.”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “Today’s breakfast was even worse than yesterday’s. They called it pancakes, but they were so hard I couldn’t even get my fork through them. You must have read my mind because I was just thinking that I would kill for a bagel. I think I love you.”

I knew he was just joking, but my heart twisted at his words. They reminded me that this wasn’t the Logan who loved me. He might feel some affection for me right now, but this wasn’t the man who loved me so deeply that he would wait years to be with me. I wondered if I would ever get that man back.

I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head. I had to be positive about the situation, especially with Kristina on her way. I handed Logan a wrapped bagel.

“An everything bagel with scallion cream cheese. Not toasted.”

Logan raised his eyebrows as he took the bagel. “How did you know that was my favorite?”

I tried to keep my expression upbeat. “Considering I’ve eaten about a million bagels with you, it’s not hard to remember.”

His expression clouded over. “Sorry. I have to keep reminding myself that we haven’t just met.”

The knife in my heart twisted a little deeper, but I forced myself to smile at him. “Maybe it can work to our advantage. At least we don’t have to worry about our relationship getting stale, because it’s like we’re starting all over again.”

Logan took my hand and pulled me closer until my legs hit the edge of the sofa he was sitting on. He kept on pulling until I was forced to sit next to him, my side pressed against his. The sudden contact took me by surprise and I just looked at him, unsure of what his motives were.

“We can have our first kiss all over again.”

My breath drew in sharply at his words. I hadn’t expected him to move so fast. I should be pleased that he wanted to move our relationship to a physical level, but I was afraid that he would find me lacking. That all the intense heat we used to generate between us would no longer exist.

Logan reached up and gently ran his fingers through my hair. His simple touch made shivers run down my spine. It had been so long since he had touched me beyond holding hands and I craved it so badly.

“How could I have forgotten you?” he whispered, his hand lowering to cup the base of my head as he pushed me closer to him.

I opened my mouth to answer, although I had no idea what I was going to say. Before I could utter a word, his lips met mine in an achingly tender kiss. Our lips clung together as he caressed my mouth, tasting and exploring like he had all the time in the world. All the tension and anxiety that had been building inside me melted away as I was swept away by his kiss.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Logan made a sound of approval and deepened the kiss. What had been gentle and tender started to turn wild as our tongues tangled together, his lips crushing mine. I desperately poured all my love and desire into the kiss, as if it could bring back his memory. Soon, the loss of his memory was the last thing on my mind as I felt his hands burrow underneath my sweater to caress my back. All I felt was desire and I didn’t protest when his hands slid around to the front. I was panting when he broke the kiss to trail hot, wet kisses down my neck as his hands moved up my stomach, pulling my sweater with it until they reached my bra. I whimpered when he pulled one of the cups of my bra down and cradled my breast in his hand, the rough pads of his thumb and forefinger pulling on my nipple already hard with arousal.

Logan’s face was dark with passion. Despite not remembering me, it seemed that our desire for each other didn’t need any memories to flame hot. My head tipped back and my eyes fluttered closed when I saw his head lowering. I couldn’t suppress my cry of pleasure when I felt his mouth close over my taut nipple, sucking and pulling as arrows of pure sensation shot through me to my core. My hips automatically bucked against him, seeking release from the tension building.

Through the haze of desire, I heard the creak of a door opening and it was like a bucket of water had been poured over me. I pushed Logan away in a panic and I heard him mutter an expletive and make a grab for me, but I quickly stood up, pulling my clothes back into place. I looked at the doorway, expecting either a glowering, disapproving nurse or, worse, Kristina. Instead, there was no one.

Instead of being relieved, I was embarrassed. I knew that I had heard the door open. One of the nurses had probably discreetly left when she saw us groping each other.

I hadn’t noticed Logan getting up and stalking towards me, but all of a sudden he was standing in front of me. He didn’t look happy.

“Why did you pull away?” His tone was neutral but his eyes were piercing with intensity.

“I heard someone open the door. A nurse must have come in and then left when she saw us.”

Logan watched me for a few moments, his eyes seeming to study every feature of my face.

“Is it always like this between us?” he finally asked, his voice husky. “I wouldn’t have cared if the entire hospital staff had come in. I would have fucked you right on that couch.”

I felt a rush of wetness between my legs by his words. It thrilled me that our attraction to each other couldn’t be denied.

I gave him a shaky smile. “Pretty much. We never could keep our hands off each other.”

Logan gave me a slow smile that made my insides turn to mush. “I was looking forward to going home tomorrow, but now I can’t wait.”

I didn’t answer because I didn’t know what to say. It didn’t matter, because we were interrupted by a nurse coming in. I blushed hotly, wondering if she was the one who had come in moments before and left discreetly. She briskly checked Logan and left without saying much.

We spent the rest of the morning talking about easy topics while we ate our bagels, but every once in a while I would catch Logan watching me with a look in his eyes that told me he was thinking about our earlier kiss. I felt a little self-conscious that his eyes seemed to track my every move, although it thrilled me as well.

The door opened and I looked up, expecting to see yet another nurse, but the enjoyable morning was shattered when I saw Kristina standing in the doorway.

The last time I had seen her was when she had come to my apartment to confront me. She had been wild-eyed and panicked then, desperate not to lose Logan. The woman standing before me looked perfectly composed and in control. Her long brown hair cascaded down her back, not a hair out of place, and her green eyes were flitting between Logan and me, assessing the situation. Her quiet beauty was undeniable, and I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Logan.” With that single utterance, she strode toward him. He stood up from the small sofa with a questioning look. I wanted to rip her away when she put her arms around him in a hug. Instead, I just clenched my hands into fists. Logan patted her on the back, obviously confused by the affection from a stranger. She finally pulled back, but that gave me little comfort as her hand grabbed his.

“I got here as soon as I could. I can’t believe you were in another car accident. What awful luck.”

I was gratified when Logan pulled his hand out of hers, but he had a polite smile on his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m not sure who you are.”

Kristina shook her head in dismay. “I heard that you were having memory problems. That’s why I came as soon as possible. You need someone to take care of you while you recuperate.”

Logan glanced at me, and Kristina followed his gaze. I had been beginning to feel like I didn’t exist, but Kristina’s hostile expression as she stared at me wasn’t much better.

“There was no need for you to come,” I said, finally finding my voice. “Logan already has someone to take care of him. Me. His girlfriend.”

Kristina’s eyes narrowed, her mouth twisting. “I wouldn’t call you his girlfriend considering he doesn’t remember who you are.”

I laughed, although there was no humor in the sound. “He doesn’t remember you, either. Fortunately, my memory is excellent and I remember him telling you that your relationship was over months ago. I can guess what your agenda is for coming here, but it won’t work.”

She shot me a hateful look as she stalked closer to me. I stood my ground, willing myself not to punch her. The last thing I needed was to get kicked out of the hospital. I had once felt an immense amount of guilt towards Kristina. After all, I had been with Logan while they were still together. But that was in the past. Logan was mine now.

“As far as I’m concerned, we’re on a level playing field now,” she spat out. “And I intend to remind Logan of how amazing our relationship was before you got your hooks into him.”

My anger propelled me closer to her, but before I could yell at her or shake her, or both, Logan stepped between us.

“I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or offended that I’m being fought over like a piece of meat, but I don’t think brawling in a hospital is a good idea.”

I stepped back, annoyed that Logan wasn’t defending me or telling Kristina to get out. Despite his amnesia, we had shared an incredible kiss today. Yet, he wasn’t immediately telling his ex-girlfriend to kick rocks.

“I’m sorry,” Kristina said, her expression changing from anger to simpering adoration. “I just want you to know the truth. You and I had something real before she came into the picture. You told me you loved me, and wanted to marry me and have kids with me. The only reason you got back together with her is because you felt guilty since she was so depressed about killing her best friend.”

“You bitch!” I lunged towards her to scratch her eyes out, but before I could make contact, Logan grabbed me and swung me away from her. I pushed on his arm around my waist, trying to get him to release me, but it was like an iron manacle.

An anger like I had never felt before overwhelmed me. It was bad enough that she was here to manipulate Logan, but I couldn’t bear to hear her speak about Cassie.

“You stupid pathetic bitch! You can’t accept the fact that Logan chose
me,
not you. And don’t you
ever
talk about Cassie again. You know nothing about her!”

I screamed in frustration, angry that Logan was still holding me back. I felt out of control and wanted to hurt Kristina as much as her words about Cassie had hurt me. Logan turned around so his back was to Kristina, and she was no longer in my line of sight.

“Shhh, calm down,” he said softly. “Calm down, Maddie.”

I froze at his words. It was the first time he had called me Maddie since waking up from the accident. Could he possibly be regaining his memory?

I twisted my neck to look at him, my heart blooming with hope. He had a concerned expression on his face as he looked down at me.

“Logan?” My voice was hesitant but hopeful. “Do you remember me? Is your memory back?”

He frowned and my heart sank. “No. Why do you ask?”

All the fight went out of me and I went limp, turning back around so I wasn’t facing him. “You called me Maddie,” I whispered.

Logan dropped his arm so he could turn me around to face him. His brows were furrowed. “Is that significant?”

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to go into it in front of Kristina. “That’s just what you always used to call me. You haven’t called me that since you lost your memory.”

Before Logan could reply, Kristina interrupted us. “Just because he’s calling you by a nickname doesn’t meant anything,” she said scathingly. Her voice turned gentle as she walked closer to Logan. “I want to help you, Logan. She duped you once into taking her back. I’m not going to let her do it again. You deserve to be happy. We were happy together.”