Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2) (19 page)

Chapter Sixteen

I didn’t hear from Logan that night. Either he was taking heed of my warning to never contact me again, or he was too busy with Kristina to care. I cried myself to sleep, wracked with violent sobs, until my body couldn’t take anymore and I fell into an exhausted restless sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, my face was swollen from all the crying and I looked horrible, but my appearance was nothing compared to the mess inside of me. A part of me couldn’t believe what had happened. I desperately wished that this was a nightmare and I would soon wake up to Logan cuddled against me. It was a pathetic thought, and showed how weak I was when it came to him.

I spent most of the morning in a daze. I considered calling Emily to tell her about what had happened, but I couldn’t muster the energy. It seemed like too much of an effort to lift a spoon to eat cereal, let alone relive the emotional turmoil by telling her what had happened.

My heart clenched when my phone rang, but I didn’t know if I was disappointed or relieved that it wasn’t Logan.

“Hi, Mack,” I answered. I wondered if he had spoken to Logan. By the cheery tone of his voice, I doubted it.

“Hey, Madison. I was just calling to thank you again for inviting me over for Thanksgiving. I really enjoyed it.”

“You’re welcome. I appreciate you coming,” I replied, thinking it was a bit odd that he was calling me just to say thanks for dinner. I reconsidered whether he had spoken to Logan or not. I wondered what his real agenda was.

Mack paused before speaking again. “Are you at Logan’s right now?”

“No.” I didn’t elaborate, waiting for him to reveal the real reason for calling. He obviously hadn’t spoken to Logan; otherwise, he would know that I wasn’t at his apartment.

“I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today. I need a break from being stuck inside working all day.”

I hesitated. Why wasn’t he asking Logan to hang out? Then again, since Logan didn’t remember him, Mack and I probably had a stronger bond now than they did. I was about to make an excuse but then decided against it. It would be nice to get out of the apartment. It felt like the four walls were closing in on me and I felt suffocated. Unlike Emily, who knew me so well and would immediately know something was wrong, I could hang out with Mack and not have to talk about what had happened between me and Logan.

“Sure,” I replied. “What do you feel like doing?”

“After all that talk of nachos on Thanksgiving, I can’t get it out of my head. Do you know of anywhere we can go?”

My chest tightened as I thought of the Half Pitcher. I couldn’t go there without thinking of Logan. I steeled myself against the thought. I wouldn’t let Logan ruin things for me, including going to one of my favorite bars.

“I know the perfect place.” I gave Mack the details of the bar and we agreed to meet there in an hour.

“You can invite Logan, if you want,” Mack offered.

“He had some work to get done today,” I lied. “I’ll see you soon.”

After we hung up, I made an effort to look somewhat presentable since I didn’t want Mack to be embarrassed to be seen with me in public. Even for a bar, my current outfit of baggy sweatpants and oversized Hello Kitty t-shirt was a little too drab. Besides, it made me feel better to put on some makeup and a decent outfit. Thankfully, the puffiness in my face had gone down and I no longer looked like the Stay Puft Marshmallow.

Even with a heavy jacket and hat, I instantly started shivering when I left my apartment building. I decided against taking the L, and hailed a cab. It was a quick ride to the Half Pitcher and I was grateful for the heat when I stepped inside. I didn’t see Mack so I sat down at a table and ordered a beer from the waitress. Before my drink arrived, I saw Mack walk in and scan the bar. I couldn’t help noticing how attractive he was. His overcoat emphasized the broadness of his shoulders and his athletic physique. His dark hair complemented his olive skin, and when his dark eyes stopped on me, his smile was heart-stopping. Except my heart didn’t skip a beat. I admired him objectively, appreciating what a handsome man he was, but the only face that made my heart stop had piercing blue eyes.

I pushed the thought aside as I watched Mack walk towards me. I was torturing myself by thinking about Logan. I had to remember he was a cheater and a liar.

“How long have you been here?” Mack asked as he took off his coat and sat down.

“I just got here a few minutes ago,” I said with a smile, trying to banish thoughts of Logan.

The waitress came over with my beer, and Mack ordered a drink, as well as the nachos.

“You look nice,” he commented once the waitress walked away.

“Thanks,” I said, although I doubted a turtleneck sweater and jeans were exactly a fashion statement. But it was said with Mack’s usual charm. It was probably automatic for him to compliment women. He probably would have said the same thing if I had shown up in my Hello Kitty t-shirt.

“How’s work going?” I asked, since I didn’t know what else to talk about. I certainly didn’t want to bring up Logan or Kristina.

“Well enough, but I think I’m going cross-eyed from working so much. Thanks for meeting up with me. It’s nice to be out among the humans again instead of being locked inside an office.” Mack shook his head comically. “That fluorescent lighting does nothing for me.”

I laughed at his exaggerated dismay. The waitress came back with his beer and he took a long swallow.

“Thanksgiving dinner seemed to go okay with Kristina there,” he said casually. My stomach plummeted at his comment. I tried to smile as naturally as I could, but it probably looked more like a grimace.

“Yeah, it was okay.”

Mack studied me for a moment. “Is something wrong?”

I shook my head. “No.” I took a sip of my beer to have something to do. “Have you talked to your grandmother again?” I desperately wanted to change the topic, and didn’t care how obvious I was being. Unfortunately, Mack wasn’t easily distracted.

“Nothing’s changed on the grandmother front,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong?”

“I said nothing was wrong,” I insisted, starting to get annoyed. I had agreed to meet up with Mack because I thought it would be casual and fun. I wasn’t in the mood to spill my guts.

“Madison, I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but clearly something’s wrong. You looked like you were going to be sick when I mentioned Kristina.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, since there was no point in pretending there was nothing wrong. Mack had already seen through my façade.

“Fair enough,” Mack agreed, although he still looked concerned. Fortunately, the nachos came and it gave us something to concentrate on.

“I don’t think this is big enough for the both of us,” he joked, eyeing the plate. “They really skimp on the portion size.”

I laughed. “This one isn’t just for me? I thought you ordered one for yourself, too.”

As I started to eat, the ball of despair in the pit of my stomach got bigger and bigger until I felt like I couldn’t swallow. I couldn’t count the times Logan and I had sat in this bar over a plate of nachos. I raised my eyes from my plate to look at Mack. As handsome and charming as he was, this just felt wrong. I felt my eyes starting to well up.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” I said as I jumped up from my seat and walked quickly to the back of the bar before Mack could say a word. I felt like I had been socked in the stomach when I passed the storage room where Logan had once fucked me. I barely made it to the bathroom before the tears started spilling down my cheeks.

I was relieved to see that the bathroom was empty, and I forced myself to stop the flow of tears before I really started sobbing. I stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes, wanting to make sure I had my emotions under control. I took a deep breath before exiting. I was okay, I told myself. I had to get used to life without Logan. The wound was still raw since it had just happened. It would get easier with time.

I tried to smile when I got back to the table, but Mack’s expression told me I wasn’t fooling him.

“You’ve been crying,” he said, frowning.

“The nachos were so good I was overwhelmed with emotion.” He didn’t laugh at my joke.

“Madison, I’d like to think we’re friends. You can talk to me.”

His expression was so sympathetic that I could feel myself getting emotional again. I shook my head, telling myself I would only break down again if I told Mack, but the words poured out before I knew what I was doing.

“I walked in on Logan in bed with Kristina.”

Mack looked dumbstruck. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure!” I said angrily. “It’s not exactly something you can be mistaken about. Unless you think hanging out with a naked woman in bed can be innocent.”

“I’m sorry,” Mack apologized. He shook his head. “I just can’t believe Logan would do that. He’s devoted to you.”

“The old Logan,” I clarified bitterly. “Maybe this Logan is an asshole.” I clenched my hands into fists. “Then again, I don’t know if the old Logan was cheating on me too. Maybe the whole engagement story isn’t a lie.”

“There’s no way Logan was going to break up with you to marry Kristina,” Mack insisted. “Even if he was an Academy Award winning actor, there’s no way he could pretend the kind of love he has for you.”

I gave him a caustic look. “He has a pretty shitty way of showing his love.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m not going to do anything,” I said in a scathing tone. “They can have each other. I never want to see Logan again.”

“I’m so sorry, Madison.” Mack reached over to touch my shoulder. It was at that inopportune moment that I saw Logan step through the doorway of the bar. His eyes zeroed in on us, and I could feel his rage all the way across the bar. His face was a mask of fury as his long strides ate up the space between us. I drew in a quick breath and Mack turned to see what I was looking at. I saw his body tense. He stood up quickly as Logan approached us.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Logan snarled. His eyes moved from me to Mack. “You fucking asshole. I knew you were angling to get a chance with Maddie this entire time.”

“Logan, calm down,” Mack said calmly, although I could see how tense he was. “It’s not what you think. We’re just here as friends.”

“Friends,” he sneered. “Right.”

He pushed Mack out of the way, and I saw Mack’s hand clench into a fist although he didn’t do anything. Logan towered over me but I just glared at him.

“What the hell do you want?” I said scornfully. “Is Kristina busy?”

“We’re leaving.” Logan grabbed my wrist and pulled me up from my chair.

“Get off me!” I wrenched my arm away but his grip on me just tightened.

The next few seconds happened in a whirlwind. Mack grabbed Logan’s arm to pull it off me, and Logan spun around, his expression enraged as if he were an animal having his territory threatened. Before I realized what was happening, he swung and punched Mack in the face. Instead of going down, Mack returned the swing and pandemonium ensued. Logan let go of my wrist and I staggered back as they became a blur of swinging arms and fists. The other patrons in the bar crowded around them, talking excitedly amongst themselves as if they were watching a spectator sport. Even with the loud chatter, I could hear their grunts as fists made impact with flesh.

“Stop it!” I screamed, finally snapping out of my stupor. I didn’t know what to do. No one was stepping in to stop them, and they were fighting like they wouldn’t stop until one of them was unconscious or dead.

I grabbed Mack’s shirt, trying to pull him away from Logan, but instead his elbow connected with my eye. The pain was sharp and intense and I gasped, letting go of Mack’s shirt to cup my eye.

Logan growled and grabbed Mack, throwing him to the ground. “You stupid fuck,” he spat out. “You fucking hit her.”

Logan came near me but I backed away, putting a hand out to ward him off. “Stay away. Don’t touch me.”

“Maddie, just let me make sure you’re okay.” His face was bloody but that didn’t hide the pained expression.

“Both of you are assholes,” I hissed. I glanced at Mack who had gotten back up. His expression was unreadable. “Just leave me alone.”

I grabbed my purse and coat and ran out of the bar, welcoming the bitingly cold air that met me. I couldn’t believe they had just brawled in a bar. It was embarrassing and stupid and just made everything worse.

I put my coat on and walked home. I barely felt the cold since my anger kept me warm and walking helped to expend some of my wound up energy. When I finally got home, I stripped off my clothes and changed back into my sweatpants and oversized shirt. I was going to stay home all weekend and get drunk. I glanced at my cell phone, which I had put on silent on the walk home, because it had kept buzzing with calls and texts. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially not Mack or Logan.

I decided that screwdrivers were my drink of choice and made my first one. I sprawled out on the couch with the TV on for mindless noise. I gingerly touched the edge of my eye and winced. I was definitely going to have a black eye in the morning.

I was on my third drink when the buzzer to my building’s front door sounded. I knew it had to be either Mack or Logan so I ignored it, but it still made me anxious to know that one of them was right outside. I was relieved when the buzzing finally stopped, but then I heard footsteps coming closer to my door. Even if one of them had made it past my building’s front door, there was no way I was letting them into my apartment.