Of Love and Corn Dogs (19 page)

“Darwin? I need to talk to you.”

Darwin's eyes popped open. He gazed unsteadily at Ricky, then groaned.

“I really fucked up,” he said, then belched. “I thought I could have it all, but after a while, I realized all I really wanted was Ricky.”

Ricky stroked Darwin's forehead. “I'm Ricky. You can talk with me.”

A shake of his head turned out to be the only answer Ricky got. He chuckled.

“Okay, how about if we talk in the morning?”

He nudged Darwin over on the couch, then lay beside him, an arm wrapped protectively around his waist. “I'm sorry I was such an ass,” he said, kissing Darwin's neck.

“I love you, Ricky.”

Ricky snuggled in closer. “I love you, too, Darwin.”

Darwin's mouth felt dry and gummy. He'd known as soon as he'd pulled the bottle out that he shouldn't do it, but he needed to forget. At least for a while. Today he'd pay for it. His head already wanted to burst, and his stomach heaved at the thought of moving. He closed his eyes, soaking up the warmth surrounding him.

His eyes flew open, and he jerked up, groaning at his mistake.

“Damn,” he whimpered.

“Where do you keep the aspirin?” a sleepy voice beside him asked.

Darwin looked down and blinked several times, trying to clear the hallucination from his mind.

“Really here, Darwin,” Ricky said, amusement in his voice.

“But how? Wait. Let me guess. Henley.”

“He came to see me last night. We talked. I want to apologize to you for not believing in you. In us. It all happened so fast, and I wasn't prepared. If you're willing, I'd like us to start over.”

“We can't,” Darwin groaned.

“Why not?” Ricky asked, pulling Darwin back down on the couch.

“I don't want to start over. I acted stupid, and I don't want to do it again.”

“Okay, how about this then? My name is Ricky. I'm a waiter.”

Darwin chuckled. “I'm Darwin. I own Kincade International. At least I did. I asked Kent to take over the company last night.”

“Wanna tell me why?”

“Because I wanted to be the guy you could love. If my having money got in the way, then it seemed a simple solution. But…”

“But?”

Darwin sighed. “But it's not. After Kent left, I got drunk, and it gave me great clarity. I can't change who I am, Ricky. Not even for you.”

“I don't want you to,” Ricky replied forcefully. “Do you want
me
to change for you?”

Darwin tried to sit up, but Ricky held him in place.

“No. That's what I wanted you to understand. I want you however you want to be. If you want to be a waiter, then be a waiter. What were you going to school for?”

“Restaurant management,” Ricky answered. “One day I'd like to open my own place.” He laughed. “I'll need a good chef. Maybe I'll steal Maria away to come cook for me.”

“Over my dead body.” His stomach lurched, and Darwin groaned. “Which may not be far off.”

Ricky laughed, then kissed Darwin's neck. “Can I make a suggestion?”

“Please. As long as you do it quietly.”

“How about if we take the time to get to know one another properly? No more hiding, no more doubts.”

“I'd like that,” Darwin admitted. “Can I start by confessing something to you?”

“Sure.”

“I love being held.”

“Good, because I like holding you.”

They lay there until the office began to fill with sunlight. Ricky got up, drew the blinds, then snuggled up against Darwin again.

“I've got to talk to Kent,” Darwin said. “I need to see if he'll forgive me when I ask him not to take the company.”

“He called Henley last night to talk you out of it. I don't think he'll be too upset.”

“Really? Hmm. The best thing about people is how they constantly surprise you. It used to be that Kent wanted the company, but now that he has his own, he's grown into it.”

“And he's your brother, so he loves you.”

“That may be part of it,” Darwin conceded. “I'll still have to contact the lawyers, and see if I can undo some of the damage I caused last night.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Ricky asked, sitting up.

“Just promise me you're really here. I think the idea that you're only an illusion would likely kill me.”

Ricky stood, leaned over, and put a hand on the back of Darwin's neck to pull him up into a kiss. When they separated, Darwin felt a huge weight being lifted from him.

“Please tell me we'll really try to make this work.”

“We're really going to try. I'm not saying it'll be easy. I'm still nervous at how people will look at me. Poor student, rich man. Oh, he must be sleeping with him for his money.”

“You know what I say to that? Fuck them. We know the truth, and that's all that matters.”

“I'll try to keep that in mind. But I may need you to remind me on occasion.”

“As often as you need,” Darwin promised.

 

While Darwin made his phone calls, first to his relieved lawyer, then to his brother, he watched Ricky as he cleaned up the mess Darwin had made of the office. He liked seeing him here, and the urge to get him back down on the couch nearly overwhelmed him. But he said they'd take it slowly, and he'd honor that.

It had just passed noon when he finished the last of the phone calls. Darwin was grateful it was Saturday, because otherwise, Heather would have been in his office, instead of Ricky.

“You were right. Everyone did seem happy that I changed my mind.” He went back to the couch and took a seat.

“Can you blame them? Henley explained to me that you're the heart of the company. These people depend on you, and probably would panic if you sold it.”

Darwin shook his head at his own stupidity. He'd have to calm the staff if any word of this leaked out. Fortunately, he didn't think it would, but that really hadn't been the point. He'd messed up big time. First with Ricky by trying to be someone he wasn't, then with his staff by wanting to be someone else completely.

“I'm sorry about everything. I should have been upfront with you from the beginning. But I liked bringing you dinner, and the look on your face when you saw it. It felt nice to just be Darwin for a while.”

Ricky smiled and took Darwin's hand.

“I get it. I really do. This job comes with a lot of stress. People always wanting something from you. And I have to admit, having you bring me corn dogs? That had to be the coolest gift ever. I barely had enough money in my account to pay off my loans and keep a roof over my head. So a meal with you lifted my spirits.”

The offer of help was once more on the tip of Darwin's tongue, but he had no idea how Ricky would respond. But they'd promised to try, and Darwin needed to ask the question on his mind if they were going to make a go of it.

“Okay, I have to ask. If we're going to see how this works, what am I allowed to do? I don't want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable, so you have to give me some guidelines.”

Ricky's fingers trailed over Darwin's neck.

“You can hug me. Kiss me. Hold me. Buy me dinner on occasion, as long as I can return the favor. Keep in mind that I might not be able to afford some of the places you'd probably go to, though.”

“What if I wanted to offer to help to pay off your student loans?”

“No,” Ricky said adamantly, then his voice softened. “At least not now. I want us to take the time to know each other. The real us. I need that before I accept any offer of assistance. Does that make sense?”

It did. The fact Ricky said it filled Darwin with pride. Ricky had proven Darwin's parents right. Money does change everything. Sometimes it shows you a person's true character.

***

Ricky couldn't complain at all about the new pace of their relationship. Darwin wanted to take it slower, to really get to know each other. They'd already done fast, but slow? He guessed that worked, too. The only problem came when they went back to their own places. Ricky saw his apartment in a new light. It had no warmth, not like Darwin. He missed the man more than he'd ever thought he could. It seemed slow had a downside, too.

One evening, Darwin told Ricky he had to attend a function for Kincade. Ricky said he understood, and told his lover he'd see him later in the week.

“But…that's not why I'm telling you. I want you to come with me.”

“You what? But—”

“No buts. Come with me,” Darwin pleaded. “Show everyone you're not embarrassed to be seen with me. Show
me
.”

Ricky couldn't believe this man would think it was Ricky who was embarrassed. He smiled at Darwin and said, “I'd love to,” even if his insides quivered.

So together they went out and bought Ricky a tuxedo. He had to admit, it looked really good on him. When Darwin came to pick him up, Henley opened the door to the limo and gave Ricky a wink and a smile.

“Don't be nervous,” Darwin told him as Henley drove them to the event. “This is a small function, and I promise I won't leave your side the whole night, unless you ask me to.”

“I don't think you need to worry about that,” Ricky grumbled.

Ricky's nerves never calmed. The moment they walked into the room, all eyes were on them. He felt like a bug in a jar. It got even worse when he saw who had come in and made a beeline toward them.

“That's the governor,” Ricky whispered, desperately trying to quell the panic.

“Yeah,” Darwin replied. “Nice guy. Needs to work on his golf game, though. Hey, do you play golf?”

Ricky frowned. “Oh, hell no.”

Darwin smiled. “Well, if you ever want to learn, I'll teach you,” he whispered as the governor reached them.

“Darwin, nice to see you again,” the governor said, his hand extended.

Darwin gripped the man's hand and smiled. “Good to see you, too, Bob. And you look lovely tonight, Estelle.”

The governor's wife blushed, and shook Darwin's hand.

“Governor, Estelle, I'd like to introduce you to my date for this evening. This is Ricky Donnelly. Ricky, Governor and Mrs. Mills.”

Ricky stood awestruck. When Darwin gave his hand a squeeze, he shook his head. “Sorry. Just not used to being at one of these events.” Then he wiped his sweaty palm on his pants leg and shook hands with their governor.

“It's a pleasure, Ricky. Glad you could make it. Do you work with Darwin?”

Ricky had no idea what to say. Fortunately, Darwin stepped up to save him.

“He's a waiter at Rossi's. Probably their best one.”

His jaw dropped when Darwin said that. What surprised him more was when the governor replied, “My wife and I took our family there last year. Great food and really wonderful service. Maybe we'll see you there one day.”

Someone waved at them from across the room, and the governor groaned. “Time to put on my game face. Ricky, Darwin, good to see you both.”

As they walked away, Ricky gaped at Darwin. “You told them who I was.”

“What? Didn't you want me to?”

Ricky shrugged. “I just didn't think you would.”

A warm hand slid across Ricky's cheek. “I told you, I am not ashamed of you or what you do for a living. Let me ask you something, and I want you to be honest. When you came to my office that night, do you remember the name of the man who let you in?”

Ricky had to think back to that night almost a month ago.

“Mitch,” he replied.

“Exactly. Now, tell me, how is Mitch any less important to Kincade than anyone else? Even me? I loved my parents, but they saw class division. They would have had a stroke if they'd known Henley and I were friends, because they thought the chauffeur's son was beneath us. I disagreed. Without Henley, life would have been very lonely.”

Ricky pondered what Darwin meant. “So you really don't care I'm only a waiter.”

“I never cared. What you do is a job, it's not who you are. I own Kincade, but it's not who I am. I'm Darwin, lover of corn dogs, raspberry nebula shakes, and waiters with green eyes.”

He pulled Ricky to him, and slanted his mouth over Ricky's, in front of the governor and everyone. If Ricky needed proof of Darwin's love, he got it in spades. They'd kissed before, but not like this. Ricky could only call it being claimed. With that one kiss, Darwin let him know the depth of his feelings, and they shook Ricky to his core.

“Can we go home?” Ricky whispered, running a hand over Darwin's chest.

“Yes, please,” Darwin whimpered.

They thanked the hosts, said good night, and headed for the limo. Henley stood there, chatting with another driver who gave him a bright smile. When he noticed them, Henley told the man he'd call, then opened the door. Darwin and Ricky tumbled into the backseat, not wanting to stop touching one another.

“Guess I'll introduce Jeff to you later,” Henley said. He chuckled as the privacy screen rose.

Ricky wished for more hands as he touched Darwin anywhere he could. He'd waited for this night and had been astounded at their patience. But tonight he wanted Darwin. To finally come together in a way that solidified their relationship.

He barely noticed when they'd gotten back to his apartment. Darwin opened the door before Henley could even get out of the car, then pulled him to the elevator. As soon as the door opened and Ricky pushed his floor, Darwin pinned him against the wall.

“You smell so good,” he moaned. “Been wanting to touch you all night. I kept seeing people checking you out, even though they knew you were there with me.”

“People were looking at me?” Ricky asked self-consciously.

“They wanted you. The man who dazzled everyone with his charm. The one with the strength of character to match the amazing body. And I laughed, because you didn't even notice them. You only looked at me.”