Of Silver and Beasts (22 page)

The rock wall reaches as high as one of Cavan’s smaller buildings, but I don’t intend to climb to the top. I just need to find an opening, a cavern or tunnel, something that might be hidden it in the dark.

Following the waterfall, I continue upward, slowly finding new handholds and footing. I’m tempted to glance down, make sure that Caben isn’t in trouble, but I don’t want to know how high I am.

When I try to grasp the rock above my head, my hand slips through air. Grabbing a jutting stone to my left, I maneuver sideways and up, then lean against a large rock. Taking the light-stick from my tunic, I hold it over the opening. It’s just large enough to crawl into.

I suck in a deep breath and look down. Caben is maybe about twenty feet below. I can barely make out his form. I wave the light, signaling him, then toss it into the cavern. From inside here, there’s no way for him to warn me if the guards or Bax return.

Alyah, keep him safe.

The chilled cave narrows, the water flowing in a shallow stream beneath me as I crawl. There must be two waterway mouths that connect, intersecting to create the waterfall that we fill their canteens from.

After a couple of minutes, the tunnel widens and I stand, squinting against the darkness. I dig the light-stick from my tunic and hold it up.

My breath hitches.

It’s beautiful.

The sides of the cavern catch the ultraviolet light, reflecting in the shimmering pool of water near the center. The sediments and minerals in the rocks glow bright, dazzling colors; amazing reds, pinks, blues, and greens, contrasting the black around them. The water is crystal clear, and beneath its still surface, a white slab of rock illuminates the pool like a silver halo.

“Whoa.”

I jerk my head sideways and bring my hands up. Caben stands behind me. “Goddess, Caben.” I release a forced breath.

His lips turn up. “Sorry,” he says. “I thought your protector senses would warn you that I was near.”

Shaking my head, I turn back around to inspect the cavern. “It is amazing.” I pause only a moment longer, letting the scenery wash over me, then start looking for a connecting tunnel. Lowering the light, I search for another stream.

“We should take a dip,” Caben says from behind me.

“In our drinking water?” I laugh. “Probably not. Besides, we don’t have time. I need to find Lilly before the guards discover we’re missing.”

“It’s fresh running,” he says, ignoring my second comment. “We won’t be drinking our bath water.”

“You never take anything seriously,” I say under my breath, then add a little louder, “What I mean is, you’ve been raised a prince. You’ve never had to do things yourself, and maybe that’s why it’s easy for you to shrug off our predicament. You’re waiting for someone to save us.” I swallow. “But they’re not. And you need to realize that.”

I expect a quick retort, for him to make light of our situation with a joke, but he says nothing. He’s quiet as I continue to search, working my way along the cave wall, and I wonder if he’s left. Turning around, I bring the light up. Caben stares into the pool of water, his shoulders slumped, and his fingers trace the scar along his temple.

I open my mouth to say something comforting, but I’m unsure of what—maybe take back my remark. In this moment, I’m reminded that I know little about him. Other than the sarcasm and desire to understand nothing of my queendom, he hasn’t allowed me past the surface.

But then, I have my own walls, hiding things I’d never want him or any other to know. And I understand that need to hide them. You can’t trust anyone.

“Caben . . .” I start, but still can’t find the right words.

He lowers his hand from his face, never taking his eyes off the glinting water top. “You’re right,” he finally says. “Let’s find the access to Lilly’s section.”

A hollow pang hits my chest, and I’m not sure why. Something in his voice sounds lost, broken. I imagine the gears around my heart spinning faster, trying to keep up with my racing heart.

When he sidesteps me, I reach out and grab his arm. “Caben, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine, Kal,” he snaps. “We have work to do.”

“No, I’ve said something to offend you.” I drop my hand, but keep close to him, not allowing him to leave my side. Goddess, trying to understand the male brain is harder than anything in protector training. I’ve heard people say that you have to tip-toe around a woman’s emotions, but a man’s ego is every bit as fragile, if not more so.

He releases a heavy breath through his nose and walks back to the pool. He sits down along the edge and rolls up his pants, then slips off his boots. “I honestly don’t think Bax or his goons will be returning tonight.” He sinks his bare feet into the water and sighs.

Glancing at the back of the cave, I plant my hands on my hips. We don’t have time for indulgencies, but the prince is still my charge. If it were my empress, I’d give her anything she’d ask for. Allow her as much time as she needed to collect herself. I have to watch over his mental state as well as protect him, so I push the pending need to find Lilly aside and sit down next to him.

“Here,” he says, turning his hand out near my crossed feet. “You have to feel this.”

A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. “I can remove my own—”

“Have you never been pampered a day in your life?” he asks, lifting an eyebrow. “I know that the Nactue are fierce and will put a hurt on any man for touching them. But try to relax.”

“Is that the rumor in Perinya?”

“What?”

I bite my lip, suddenly regretting my blurt. “Nothing. Never mind.”

From the corner of my eye, I see his lips pucker into a pinched smile, as if he’s trying not to. “Ah,” he says, like he’s made some great universal connection. “Well, there are many whisperings about the Nactue. Some I dare not repeat for fear I’d leave here missing a limb, but that’s one, yes.” He takes my booted foot and begins to unlace it. “I’ve heard that the empress’s protectors are untouchable—forbidden to give themselves to men. And that they’ll snap a man’s neck just for making an advance.”

My mouth drops open. Appalled, I counter, “That’s not true.”

“All right,” he says, as if he hasn’t just insulted my very existence. “It’s only rumors. Things men jaw about in pubs. The unattainable woman is a fantasy, Kal. Don’t be offended.”

“Unattainable?” I grit my teeth, trying to maintain my composure. “Tell me, prince. Do men in your country just go around bedding every woman they can in order to keep them compliant?” I shake my head. “If their fantasy is a woman that would have nothing to do with them, it seems to me it’s their way of feeding their egos after being rejected.”

His eyes widen. “No! How does your brain come up with these—” He bites off his words, his lips thin as he presses them together. “Look, it was a joke.”

I nod, many times. “Another joke. I’m glad that our hard work and sacrifice is amusing to the men of Perinya.”

Caben lets out another sigh and slowly pulls off my boot. His warm fingers skim my calf as he inches up my pant leg. “Just stick your foot in,” he says, then adds lower, “while I stick
mine
in my mouth.”

Unexpectedly, I laugh. “At least it’s now clean,” I say. “Would you like some help getting it to your face?”

Smiling, he yanks my other foot onto his lap. “So . . . I gather then that you’re not forbidden to be with men.”

“No. We’re not forbidden.” I glance over the shimmering water, listen to the trickle as he removes my boot. I place my feet into the chilled water, and it’s like rain hitting a parched desert. I shiver before refocusing my thoughts. “We take vows, and part of them is sacrificing our personal lives. But we decide to do that on our own, because we know that it’s impossible to give ourselves fully to more than one person. My empress’s welfare has to come first.”

I peek over at Caben. He cocks his head, planting his hands on his thighs. “You’re speaking for all Nactue,” he says. “But what about just you? Have you considered what you may want later? After you’re done being a protector, that is.”

“I’ll never be done. Even after I retire, I’ll join the Signaught. And there will always be some place I’m needed as far as serving my empress and country.” I think about his position for a minute, and say, “You understand that, don’t you? I know that you’ll have to marry to carry on your lineage, but your kingdom will always come first.”

The rippling water reflects in his eyes, changing them to a darker blue—as if his thoughts are clouded. But it must be an illusion from the light. When he doesn’t answer right away, I grow anxious. Where is his mind wandering?

Caben blinks, and gives his head a shake. “We’re talking like tomorrow we have a choice as to what to do with our lives.”

And for a moment, here with him, I had lost the reminder that we’re battling in the Cage soon.

“All choices have been removed,” he continues. “It no longer matters what I would have chosen for my life.”

My lips part, and I want so badly to ask what he wants—what he would choose over the life that’s been laid out for him. But I don’t. Instead, I dip my hand into the water, swirl my finger around. Swish the water with my feet. Anything to keep from prying.

“How do you do that?” he says, taking me off-guard.

“Hmm?” I glance down at the water and wonder what I’ve said or done, then back up at him.

A storm brews behind his eyes, dark and gray. “How do you always seem to sound like him, and yet not. You have a way of turning his words around on me, so that I have to actually consider them.”

His father. He mentioned before in the master cell that I sounded like him. I don’t know if I should feel honored or affronted. From the look on his face, I presume the latter.

“No, no,” he says, waving his hand. “Don’t think it’s bad. I mean that he was a firm believer in putting duty before all else, and I see that in you.” He narrows his sharp gaze. “But it’s different with you. It’s not about pride or duty or country. It’s truly what you believe—a part of you. And in doing so, it’s as if you’re putting those you care for first, because you’re thinking only of their protection. Ironically, by sacrificing your own desires, you’re actually caring for those in your life all the more.”

I hold his gaze unwaveringly, and my skin heats, a wave of warmth crashing over me. “I’ve never thought about it that way,” I admit. The realization is a startling truth, causing me to miss an intake of breath. “I suppose the best I can offer them, is nothing of myself.”

“No. You give them all of you, and ask for nothing in return. It’s the most unselfish thing I’ve ever seen.” His eyes flick over my face, and I’m suddenly afraid of what he’s seeing. “But you don’t allow anyone in,” he continues. “Though, I think that’s for your own protection.”

I break his intense gaze and stare at the glowing colors of the rocks in the cave wall. A long moment passes where I take in the beauty before I’m able to find words. “I could say the same about you,” I say, keeping my eyes trained on the rocks.

“You could. And you’d be right.”

I hear a splash and look over. Caben’s tunic and pants lie where he was just seated. He pops up in the center of the pool and shakes his head, the water pelting me as it flings off his dark hair.

I huff and rub the wet off my arms. “We really don’t have time—”

My words die on my tongue as Caben swims up and palms my thighs. The cold water on his hands seeps past the material of my pants to my skin. “Don’t make me toss you in here fully clothed. I will, but I’ll first give you the option to promptly remove your attire while I turn my back.” His lips curve into a slanted smile. “Like the gentleman that I am, of course.”

My hand reflexively goes to my chest, my fingers finding the hard covering protecting the clamp. I force my hand to my lap. “Turn around.”

His brows shoot up, and his full lips stretch into a wide, handsome smile. He kicks off the slab and swims backward before turning to face the opposite side of the cave. My eyes slip over the tightly defined muscles of his back, the water beading and skimming down his tanned skin, and I mutter a curse. I stand and palm the puckered skin over my heart once more before sliding my pants down. Gentleman or not, I won’t chance him getting a glimpse of my cybernetic fix, so I leave my shirt on and dive in.

The water hits my senses like ice, and I break the surface with a gasp. “Oh, my goddess. It didn’t feel this cold to my damned feet.”

Caben’s deep laughter fills the cavern. “It’s only freezing for a minute. Your body will adjust.” He pushes back the dripping hair from his forehead as he looks over my wet tunic. “I promised not to look.”

“It will dry,” I say, pulling my tunic away from my chest. “And it’s not you . . .” I don’t know how to finish my statement.

Tilting his head to the side, he levels me with a knowing look. “I’d never have thought the fierce leader of the Nactue shy.” But he doesn’t give me time to respond as he sinks beneath the surface of the water.

The cool sensation of the fresh water on my skin helps me forget my nerves and I lie back, floating just below the top of the water. My body dulls, the cold soothing my sore muscles, and I welcome the numbness. The ceiling of the cave is sprinkled with tiny clusters of white lights, dotting the canopy above our heads like stars in the sky. I feel as if I’m sitting on the rooftop of my apartment, staring at the night sky, not here in the Otherworld, awaiting my death.

The water rolls, rocking my body, and I glance over as Caben floats up beside me. He’s on his back also, and points to the lights dusting the cave ceiling.

“Diamonds,” he says.

“Really?” I don’t know much about any minerals other than mercury. And somehow, diamonds as our stars makes my chest heavy. It’s too beautiful. “How can you tell?”

“The ultraviolet light shows the impurities,” he says. “The imperfections actually absorb the dark light, causing the diamond to emit a visible glow.” He chuckles. “A very expensive lighting effect.”

I laugh. “Quite expensive.” They twinkle as they reflect the rippling water. “But almost more heavenly than the stars.” I lower my voice at the end, hoping he didn’t hear my spoken thoughts.