Of Silver and Beasts (31 page)

Caben tries to console me, but I need to be alone. I need to offer a moment of silence to Willa and pray for her. I’ve been attempting to do just that since I left the sides of my companions. Except I can’t. Anger and rage and turmoil are bubbling to the surface, and if I pray now, I’ll curse the goddesses.

I let my eyes drift over the chamber, unfocused.

Like Lilly’s.

I bang my head against the wall, trying to beat out the vision of her anguished face.

Bax pushes his chair back from the table with a loud scrape. “Collect yourselves, contenders,” he announces. Our league begins to line up in front of the door.

I push off the wall and stomp toward him. His guards raise their swords, blocking my advance. The point of a blade nicks my throat. “There’s one last fight,” I grind out, my voice heavy.

Lowering the guards’ weapons, Bax motions them toward the other contenders. Then he steps close to me. “We’re done. The last fight doesn’t concern us for now.” He drops his voice. “I have the lineup. No other who belongs to you will fight.”

I understand he means my Nactue. But I don’t comprehend why he’s bothering to soothe my worry. Or why he doesn’t want to watch the last fight to see who will be competing against his league tomorrow night.

He taps something into his screen, and I figure he’ll know soon enough when the new statistics are released.

Glancing once more toward the Cage, I try to spot Lilly. She’s no longer at the entrance to her chamber. I hang my head before lining up behind Caben, Crew, and Lena.

The risers rumble as we walk past. The crowd cheers for us, pumping their weapons in the air, their faces smeared with faded and cracked blood.

After we enter the master cell, I wait near the opening of the training room while Bax performs his speech to his league. I can hear the fakeness in his tone now. He must have had a lot of practice performing while growing up here. I wonder if his father has always been the dark priest and he’s had to put on a show his whole life, or if he’s only just changed because of his family.

I shut my mind off. It doesn’t matter where his loyalties lie. After watching one of my closest friends die—he’s expendable. I would offer Bax up on a platter to Bale if it meant saving my friends and Caben.

The other contenders slog off and retire in their chambers. Caben eyes me next to the tunnel leading to ours. I nod my head, urging him to go. I need to speak to Bax alone.

Once he’s gone, I steel myself and roll my shoulders back. In the corner, a spire crackles with dark mist, and the black light shadows Bax’s features. He notices my approach and directs the guards to stand outside the entrance.

“I don’t have time for your tiring conversation, protector,” he growls. “Tomorrow will be an even longer trial. Best rest up.”

I grind my teeth. “For everything that has been done to my country, my Nactue, my charge—I demand to know
why
.” I hold his glower, setting my jaw.

He chuckles, and the sound triggers an angry reflex. My hand flies up to box his face, but he catches it midair. He tosses a look at the guards, and tightens his hold on my wrist. Snatching my arm, he forces me to walk behind him as he stalks to the far side of the training room.

When we’re out of earshot from the guards and the contenders, he turns around and drops my arm. “The reason is no matter to you. You can’t stop what has begun. All you can do is accept your fate.”

I shake my head. “I know that you’re different from them”—I cock my head toward the guards—“from all of them. You could leave here before the final battle of the Reckoning. You could free us, and whatever it is you fear will never have to happen.”

His beady eyes lock on to mine as he narrows his gaze. I don’t care if I’ve given anything away—my friend is dead. And this may be my last chance to save the others.

Rubbing his hand against the back of his neck, he releases me from his heated glare and sighs. “Protector, there were many like me once. But no one dared to go against the dark priest.” His face clouds. “One of the shards has been retrieved. Soon, he’ll have all of them, and there will be nothing to stand in his way.”

“Wait—” I place my hand on his arm, trying to show him my concern. “How did he get it?”

“My Liege ordered an attack on Laryn,” he says, and my mouth falls open.
The empress
. I can barely feel her presence, and with the darkness of this place invading me, I’m losing my connection to her. I drop my hand as Bax continues. “Your empress still lives,” he says, as if reading my mind. “But don’t think only us monsters are to blame. They wouldn’t have located the shard if it weren’t for one of yours.”

I squint and stare up at him. “One of mine?”

He nods. “Others outside of the Otherworld worship Bale and want her vindicated.”

“Someone in Cavan? That’s impossible.”

“Go back to your man. Spend these last moments with him and pray to your deities.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “I don’t think you’re a monster, Bax. And if you claim there are Otherworlders who are good, I believe you.” I suck in a determined breath. “But if you take your family and run, then you are no better than the priest. You’ll damn us, yourself, and your loved ones.”

A low rumble builds in his throat, and I step back. He inches forward, his face hovering above mine. “You know so little of this world and of your own.” He closes his eyes, shakes his head, and opens them. A red light flickers in his pupils, then it’s gone. “Did you ever ask yourself why the divine blood?”

I take another step back, and stare at Bax through slit lids. He used the ancient term for mercury, something I thought was only taught in the Three Realms. “I’ve been questioning why the Otherworlders raided our countries for mercury ever since I was brought here.” Especially since I’ve yet to see it used for their steam-powered world.

Relaxing his features, he says, “Then ask yourself it again, protector. I cannot help you any further. But maybe . . .” He tilts his head, studying me. “Just maybe there’s hope for you. I knew there was a reason why you came here. Search that question and you’ll find your answer.”

The red light flickers once more in his eyes and he jerks his head, shaking it away. “The once-regarded blood of the deities is a conduit,” he whispers. “Now ask me no more.” He turns away and heads toward the front of the master cell.

I stand alone for a moment longer, my mind reeling.

A conduit
.

Understanding dawns, and my skin prickles with fear.

The jarring clang of the cell door snaps me out of my daze. I tuck the information away and hurry down the tunnel toward the chamber. Caben is lying stretched out on the cot, holding his wounded side. He jerks awake and tries to sit up. I fan my hand at him.

“Lie back down.” I kneel and take off my boots to empty the dirt that’s accumulated in the soles.

Caben leans back. When I start to lace my boots, he forces himself up again. “What are you doing?”

“Lilly needs me.”

“Kal,” he breathes my name. “I will not beg you, but damnit. Don’t go.” He runs his bruised and scrapped fingers through his hair. “She’s hurting. But she doesn’t want you to risk your life.”

Standing, I tuck in my tunic and get ready for my climb. “I will risk it for whoever I damn please,” I mutter.

Pushing off the cot, Caben jumps to his feet and storms toward me. He takes my face between blood-stained palms. His tall frame towers over me, and he forces my face up. “You’re not going to be a martyr for
anyone
.”

Twisting out of his grasp, I pull back. “She’s my best friend. I’ve known her my entire life. I won’t let her suffer—”

He presses his finger over my lips. “And you feel you suffer less?”

Hot tears sting my eyes. “It’s not the same. Lilly loves Willa”—I shut my eyes—“I loved her, too, but Lilly and Willa are together.”
Were together
. A hollow ache pangs my chest. When I look up into the depth of his blue eyes, the tears break free. “I have to be strong and comfort her.”

Caben rests his warm hand against my cheek and runs his thumb across my skin, wiping the tears away. “As tough as you are, Kal, you’re not indestructible. You need to mourn with someone to comfort
you
.” He pulls me into an embrace, wrapping his strong arms around me, and I lay my head on his chest. His heartbeat thumps against my cheek. I swallow down the burning lump in my throat, listening to its rhythm.

“They won’t kill me,” I say. “They need me.”

I look up in time to catch his eyebrows pull together, confusion marring his face. “What are you talking about?”

“Or, at least they won’t kill me yet.” I nearly laugh with the madness churning inside. “No, having my blood spill over their goddess’s grave is why I’m here. They’ll wait.”

“That will not happen.” His gaze rakes over my face. But I see it in his eyes—comprehension. He understands.

“I know what the Otherworlders are trying to do,” I say. “And why all these years they’ve been stealing and trading for mercury. Why they’ve waited until now—and why we’re feeding the ground with our blood.” A flash of my own death enters my mind. I shake it away.

He takes in a labored breath. “They want to restore their goddess.”

I nod. “They’re going to break whatever barrier confines her in the ground. They’re going to resurrect Bale.”

“She does have Kai,” he says. “She’s not alone.”

He’s right. What right do I have to think I’m the one she needs? That I can comfort her any better. How self-important. I run the back of my hand over my burning eyes.

Maybe I needed her
.

I lie on my side, facing the door of the chamber, and Caben slides behind me. He wraps his arm around my stomach, bringing me against his chest. We breathe in sync for a long time before he speaks again.

“They can’t do it,” he says. “They can’t raise Bale without my shard. The dark priest said he needed it before the last night of the Reckoning.”

His words are a small comfort. “They attacked Laryn,” I tell him. “While we’re down here battling in a cage like animals, a war is going on in the last standing country of the Three Realms.”

He sighs, his warm breath caresses my neck. “And you want us to sulk—feel guilty because we’re not there to defend it.”

“No,” I snap. “Why are you still so infuriating?” But his words wash over me, and I tussle with them. “Okay, yes. Watching Willa die tonight makes me feel”—I choke off, ashamed to admit the truth—“worthless. I couldn’t save her, and what happens tomorrow if Lilly enters the Cage? How am I supposed to save her? And even if somehow we survive—if the Otherworlders don’t succeed in raising Bale, and we magically walk out of that Cage—how are we to save Laryn? Or what’s left of it.”