Of Wolves and Men (12 page)

Even with the sun high in the sky, the air was icy cold. He shivered and couldn’t seem to find his way out of the woods. He knew on a map where his team was, he just had no idea which direction he should go to find a phone or house.

A shiver ran up his spine and he stumbled and fell. Another episode of pain was starting up again. “No! No way! You have to be kidding me!” Roman clenched his fists. “I am not turning into a dog! No!” He stared at his hands and his fingers became long black feathers. “That’s it.

I’m on drugs. Someone captured me and is injecting LSD into my veins. Is that it?” He looked around the tall canopy of trees. “Am I a hostage being tortured?” he screamed at lung capacity before his voice turned into a squawk.

He hopped up and down flapping his arms which were now wings.
I’ve lost my mind. I’m in
some nightmare I can’t wake up from! What was in that abandoned building? What the hell
happened to us? Us? Or just me?

He flapped frantically, becoming airborne, panicking and landing again. He looked at his wingspan and spread out his arms.
Fine. I’m a fucking bird. Fly somewhere.

He began flapping once more and did lift up. Instead of being terrified, he tried to steer. It was a skill he did not find easy. He hit a branch and tumbled down to the hard ground. Getting back to his little black feet, with long sharp talons, he flapped again, as vigorously as he could and got better and better with each attempt.
My luck I’ll be a mile overhead and change into a man,
plummeting back to earth. Yeah, go on, Roman, keep dreaming. You love flying dreams.

With another few tries, Roman was able to figure out the skills he needed to turn, slow down, and speed up. It was easier recon from the air than the forest. He looked over the deserted roadways until he noticed a hotel with a load of sedans and SUVs in the lot. Men were there, grouped together.

My guys! I found you!

He practically hit the ground beak first beside them and waddled closer.

“Holy crap!” one of the men said, stepping aside. “That’s one big black bird. What’s wrong with it?”

No! No, guys! It’s me! Roman!
He flapped to help him move faster and made his way to Phil.

“What am I supposed to tell his family?” Phil asked Nick.

“I have no idea. Say he’s gone MIA temporarily. Until I find a sign of foul play or his dead body, I’m not going to tell his family he’s dead.”

Dead? Phil! It’s me!
Roman poked his beak into Phil’s boot.

“What the fuck?” Phil kicked at Roman. “Stupid thing. Christ, they grow big crows out here in Utah.”

No. Come on, guys! Why would a bird come here and peck at you! It’s me!

“Want me to shoot it?” one of the men asked. “It’s probably got something wrong with it.”

Roman spotted him pulling his gun out of his holster. He took off to the roof top in fear and the man put his gun away.

“So?” Phil said, “That’s it? He’s MIA on a job and…?”

“What the hell do you want me to say? We searched that building for forty-eight hours, had over a hundred officers, evidence techs, dogs sniffing for a track… You tell me where he went.”

“That room. That last room.” Phil thumbed over his shoulder as if the vacant building were behind them. “Something about the graffiti on the walls, the ritual burnings, the signs of sacrifice…that’s the last place I saw him.”

“And? So now he’s been sacrificed? Is that what you want me to tell his family, Dean?”

“No. I mean, I don’t know. But I do know that has to have something to do with it.”

Roman glided back to the parking lot, feeling like an idiot because he knew he was walking like a duck. He stood in front of Phil again and tried to catch his attention.
Hello? Guys? I’m right
here.

“It’s back. Shoot it. Something is very weird about that thing. Birds never come this close to humans.”

Roman spun around and squawked loudly. A blast of a nine millimeter bullet just missed him.

He took off for the high power lines and stopped, trying to balance on it.

“Leave it alone.” Phil shook his head. “Don’t we have enough to worry about?”

Roman watched as Phil placed his bag of equipment into the SUV.
How am I going to let them
know?
Roman flapped his wings.
I want to be a man again. I want to be a man again.
He waited.

He wasn’t changing.
Now! I need to be me to show them I’m alive!

The car doors slammed loudly, scaring him. He watched as one by one the ATF vehicles left the lot, back to Reno most likely. Did they even find what they came to Utah for? Had they given up?
Are you guys giving up on me?

He flew alongside Phil’s car as he drove, trying to get his attention. Phil appeared either furious or freaked out to see a bird so close to his driver’s window.

Open the door! It’s me, Phil! Me, Roman!

Phil powered the window down and took a swipe at him. “Get away, you crazy bird!”

Seeing Phil nearly crossing the double yellow line and hitting someone head on, Roman landed on a fence post and watched the caravan of cars leave.

He blinked his bird eyes and wondered if he sighed what it would sound like in bird talk.

This ain’t a goddamn dream. I am in deep trouble
.

Two days of flip-flopping from man to wolf to bird to man to wolf, Roman was

exhausted and losing hope. The easiest way to find food was in his bird stage, picking at the leftovers from the fast food chains. Their litter was the most common and Roman managed to find enough burgers and fries to keep him full.

Walking aimlessly one afternoon, wolf-Roman heard men’s voices. He sat on his hind

legs and observed men on horseback rounding up a herd of horses. Sniffing the air and smelling their sweat, Roman missed making love, kissing a man.

When he began to daydream about the sex he’d previously had with some very hot men, his cock grew hard and he began to turn human. Lying naked on someone’s horse ranch with a big erection wasn’t going to get him help, it was going to get him killed or beaten.

Roman crawled to the shadows of underbrush and tried to hide.

A man on horseback drew closer. “Get them ponies in for the night.”

“Okay, Charlie!”

Charlie
. Roman took a good look at the handsome cowboy. He looked like a gay man’s fantasy with his big brawny build and blue eyes.

Suddenly Roman heard the man’s thoughts. He shut up his own and listened closely.

“
Wish that Joe had never sucked my cock. Why am I looking at Butch like he’s hot? The kid’s
nineteen and I am losing my mind.”

Gay? You’re a gay cowboy? Charlie!

Roman was about to scramble out of the bramble and call out to him but he felt it

coming. He had learned now. The crow this time.
No. No!

“Okay, boys. Let’s head in for the night.” Charlie spurred on a chestnut brown horse and galloped down the hillside.

Roman flapped as hard as he could and became airborne. He followed Charlie at a distance to watch him. A wonderful ranch house, over fifty horses, men working to keep them fed and clean, and a cabin where Charlie lived alone down a winding path in the woods.

Roman perched outside his window at night, watching him undress for bed or read. Alone.

Every night. A man as beautiful as Charlie.

The more he watched, the more he learned. Charlie was sensitive, intelligent, and struggling with his new sexual awakening. The other men respected him, especially the older one called Vernon.

Charlie Mosby, you are who I need. You are the one.

Chapter 10

“Charlie?” He raised his head from his palm to see Suzie standing in front of his table. Three beers in him and no food, Charlie was just beginning to feel a slight buzz.

“Can I sit down?” He used his boot to push out the chair for her but didn’t want her to join him.

Instead of choosing the chair across from him, she moved his hat aside and sat adjacent to him.

Scooting closer, she rubbed his back affectionately. “Butch is an ass. We all know that.”

“I did wrong. I did wrong by Vernon.” Charlie tried to sit up in his chair, tipping the last drop of beer onto his tongue from an empty glass.

“Dad loves you like a son.”

“Not no more.” He rubbed his face. “Where’s my manners. Let me buy you a drink.”

“Thanks, Charlie. Just white wine, please.”

He nodded, standing up and walking to the bar. “Wine and another beer.” He put cash on the counter. The bartender handed him two glasses. “Keep the change,” Charlie said, carrying the drinks back to the table.

“Thank you.” Suzie took her stemmed glass from him.

“You’re welcome.” Charlie sat back down and sipped his fresh beer. “So? What did your mom and pop say? Hm? Are they going to fire me?”

“No. I don’t think so. I think Dad was surprised. Like we all were.”

Charlie covered his eyes with one hand in embarrassment.

“Don’t worry. We all love and support you.”

“Suzie, I don’t even know what I am yet.” He leaned his elbows on the table. “I… This fella, he’s…he’s…”

“Your boyfriend?”

“No. I mean. He’s the first, well, second man…I mean, I didn’t go with another man before him. I just…” He shook his head. “Never mind. I can’t spit out the gory details. I’m a gay boy.

There. I admitted it.”

“And you can be gay. It’s okay.”

“No. It ain’t okay to do what I did out in the open. That kind of thing is for the bedroom. I know that. It’s just…just this guy…this fella, he’s…”

“Gorgeous?” she laughed as she replied.

Charlie smiled at her silly giggle.

“Like wow!” She fanned herself. “Where did you guys meet?”

“Suzie Norman, I cannot believe how well you are taking this.”

“Charlie!” She whacked his shoulder playfully. “Sherlane and I are going to college in the big city now. We meet all kinds of people. Dad didn’t teach us to hate nobody.”

“No. He did a good job raising you two.” Charlie squeezed her hand. Just then, he noticed a man standing near them. Charlie leapt to his feet and gaped at Roman, who was wearing his clothing, and everything was tight on the big man.

Suzie spun around to look.

“Charlie…we need to talk.” Roman appeared very nervous, and Charlie knew why.

“Join us.” Suzie gestured to the open chair. “Don’t be afraid. Charlie, introduce me.”

“Suzie, this is Roman.” Charlie walked closer to Roman, who wasn’t wearing shoes, just in stocking feet. “What the hell are you doin’?” he asked privately. “You change into a wolf or crow in here and them good ole boys will be on you with pool sticks.”

“I’ll be able to feel it coming. And damn, I would love a beer.” He licked his lips.

“Sit.” Charlie pointed to the vacant seat.

“Hey. I’m no dog. So don’t talk to me like I’m one.” Roman sat down. “I’m not one at the moment anyway.”

Charlie raced to the bar, having no idea how little time Roman had as a human. “Beer, please.”

He put a few dollars on the counter and looked at Suzie and Roman getting acquainted.

“Thanks.” He practically ran back to the table with the beer, sloshing it as he set it down.

“Slow down, Charlie,” Suzie said, “I just told Roman what Butch did. But he said he already knows.”

“You okay, Charlie?” Roman reached for his hand.

“None of that in here. You kiddin’ me?” Charlie drew his hand back.

“Charlie, it’s okay.” Suzie took one of each their hands and brought them together in front of her. “I’m hiding it.” She placed both her hands on top of theirs.

“I knew you were the sweet one.” Roman smiled.

“Sherlane is too. I’m just more assertive.” Suzie grinned. “Grr, you sure are a pretty man, Roman.”

“Did she just growl?” Roman laughed, sipping his beer. “Mm, oh man, did I miss a glass of cold beer.”

“Where did you go that there wasn’t any beer?”

“Anyway…” Charlie interrupted and took his hand back from the group clasp. “How long have you got, Roman?”

“Isn’t that your shirt, Charlie?” Suzie touched the flannel at Roman’s sleeve. “Oh, honey, these don’t fit you well. Look. The button holes are gapping. But how cute that you want to wear each other’s clothing.”

Roman didn’t comment on Suzie’s observation. “I don’t know, Charlie. But I did know Butch shook you up and I needed to see you.”

“It’d be easier if you waited at the cabin.” Charlie tilted his head at Suzie. “How’d you get here?”

“Hitched a ride on one of your wranglers’ trucks. Your boys dropped me here.”

Charlie slouched in his chair, rubbing his face in exhaustion. “So, all the help knows I like cock.

That’s just great.”

“Babe.”

“Charlie, it’s okay,” Suzie said.

“No. It ain’t.” Charlie pushed his chair out, took his hat and jacket, and left. As he walked to his truck in the parking lot, he heard the noises behind him. Charlie spun around to see first Roman then Suzie hurrying after him.

When Roman tried to stop him, Charlie shoved him off.

“I can’t even figure myself out yet, Roman. How am I going to deal with helping you? I have to work with them boys at the ranch. How will I do that?”

Suzie caught up to them. “Calm down, both of you.”

“I need some time. I can’t do all this at once.” Charlie climbed into his truck.

Roman grabbed him, not allowing him to shut the door. “Don’t abandon me, Charlie. I’m desperate for help, and I need you. Please.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. But my whole life just got shook out of whack today, and how do I help you when I can’t even see through my own mess? You understand?”

“Baby…” Roman touched his hair.

Charlie felt an emotional lump in his throat. “Don’t use that card now.” Charlie glanced at Suzie quickly. He mouthed silently to Roman,
“Not the sex thing.”

“Who else can I turn to? Who else?” Roman begged with his watery eyes.

Suzie said, “Charlie Mosby, how can you be so mean? I’m here for you, Roman. I’ll drive you home if he’s too stubborn to.”

Charlie was about to say something when he took a look at Roman’s expression. “Oh no.”