Off Campus (17 page)

“I feel like an idiot.”

Reese's breath ghosted over his face as he huffed a laugh. “You look fucking hot. And watching your dick get hard without you touching it is going to be even hotter.” Tom felt those words like a hot lick from his base to his crown, and his dick was definitely on board with this game. “Go with it.”

Inhaling slowly, he filled his lungs and held that breath for one long moment before blowing the air out, the rise and fall of his stomach under his hands becoming self-soothing. Reese's fingers were tracing the lines of his face, skimming over his eyebrows and down the side of his face until Tom turned his head and caught at a finger with his teeth, nipping gently and slicking his tongue over the tip until Reese tugged it free.

Reese rubbed the damp finger against Tom's bottom lip, dragging it open and pressing his mouth against Tom's briefly, his breath hot and damp, their tongues tangling for a minute as Reese kissed him right out of self-consciousness. Tom didn't even realize he'd snaked a hand up behind Reese's neck until Reese tugged that hand back down to Tom's chest and then bumped his own fingers down the ladder of Tom's ribs to skim along his hip, leaving a sensitized streak down Tom's body.

“Go on. Show me.”

Nothing had ever been so sure of itself as that voice. Tom scraped his fingernails across the front of his shirt, dragging them back and forth across the tips of his nipples until the nubs hardened and he was almost plucking them as they caught against his fingernails. Pleasure shot from his nipples to his crotch, tickling his balls until they pulled up and tightened. He felt himself growing hard and heavy, the throb of his pulse beating in his palms, the soles of his feet, the still tingling skin of his hip.

Suddenly he needed to see Reese. To know that this wasn't some manipulative game. A trick to make him look foolish. He didn't believe it, but he couldn't shake the nerves, the fear that once again he was being watched by someone hoping to see him fail.

He opened his eyes.

Reese didn't even notice, his gaze focused like a laser on Tom's body, roving hungrily from Tom's dick to his hands to his face again at last. Reese's own hand rested in his lap, cupped over his groin, holding himself. He didn't smile, but his eyes were steady and open, his want shining out of him. He was burning up with it, eyes dilated until they were black, a flush on his cheeks, biting at his own lip. His breathing was shallow.

“Show me.”

Tom left one hand on his chest and dragged the other down, down. He felt the edge of his pubes, rough and lighting up nerves as he ruffled his fingers through them, skating close enough to his dick to make it twitch.

A drop of pre-come hit his stomach. He smelled the scent of his own sex rising. The need to grab himself and stroke was building in pressure, sparking from his hands to his hips until he jerked and thrust up into the air. He slid his hand lower, curving his fingers but not touching his balls, waiting for something. For permission.

“Can I?” His voice was harsh.

Reese's breath caught, a hitch Tom heard like a mouth on his skin. His dick lifted off his stomach, twitching with another throb of pleasure.

“Yes.”

He moved his fingers a fraction of an inch, so deep into the moment now that he barely allowed himself to do more than tease. He brushed his balls, feeling them tighten up further, the thin skin wrinkling and tingling under his hand until he shivered. His hips were rocking, his asshole clenching and releasing on nothing, pulsing in time with the heartbeat that pulsed in his dick. He pinched one stiff nipple hard enough to make himself gasp. Moaned out loud and let the shame of that sound drive his need higher.

His cock was drooling on his stomach now, a stiff length of wanting, wanting, wanting Reese to touch him so badly.

“Now. Do it, Tom.”

The sob that almost ripped out of him as he
finally
slicked his hand over the head of his dick and down, gripping so hard it hurt, burned in his chest.

“Fuck.” Reese spoke over his panting breath, the slick crackle of pre-come greasing his hand as it slid up and back down again. “You're so fucking hot. So hard it looks like it hurts.”

“Unh.” Tom flung his free hand up, hung on to the railing at his head until his arm muscles bulged and ached, while he jerked himself as hard as he could. The heat boiled in his balls.

The dip of the mattress as weight shifted was his only warning before Reese's hands wrapped around his own on his dick, holding him hard and in place at the base. And even knowing it was coming, the hot, wet slide of Reese's mouth over his dick had him crying out so loudly he knew people could hear, but he couldn't stop, couldn't lock down the stream of pleases.

“God, Reese, please. Please. Don't…” Anything. He would say anything. Do anything. Just don't let it stop.

He could map the inside of Reese's mouth with the tip of his dick. The hard, bumpy roof of his mouth. The sleek muscled curl of his tongue. The yielding cushion of his soft palate and the tight, squeezing hollow of his throat. Reese leaned his full weight against Tom's stomach and thighs, an arm braced on each to hold him still as he struggled to snap his hips, the white hot heat of a magnesium flare shooting up his spine to arch his back and tense every muscle in his chest until he couldn't breathe. Could only throw his head back and cry out as he came, pouring himself into Reese's mouth and gasping, at last, for air to fill his battered lungs.

The creak of the mattress as Reese moved, the shuffle of his feet in socks on the floor, barely registered as sounds while Tom's bones melted into the mattress. He could feel the slow throb of his pulse in his toes and in lingering twitches of his dick. Consciousness swirled in dizzy spirals until it sank back into his brain via the blown off top of his skull. The light disappeared with a snap as Reese flipped the switch by the closets. Tom could see him hesitate in the middle of the room as he returned, halfway between their two beds, his head turned toward his own bed, his body angled toward Tom, who struggled to pull words together in something resembling a coherent sentence.

“Shit. Wait.”

Not exactly coherent.

“What?” Reese's voice was snappish, but Tom heard it for what it was. The uncertainty, intolerable for this boy who never for a moment let loose the reins of control in his sexual encounters, of not knowing what came next.

This was the difference between him and the boys Reese dominated. Tom wasn't heading out the door thirty seconds after coming his brains out, although he had no doubt that Reese was thinking that might be easier.

Tough. Tom had no intention of this being the end of the dick-sucking either.

He might need a moment to reassemble his skull first, though.

“C'mere.” He struggled to sit up, dragging the pillow from under his head to the edge of the bed. He'd planned this for hours in his cab, imagining how it would happen and trying to figure out a way that he could be sure he wouldn't do anything—on accident but that wouldn't matter—to bring the bad feelings to the surface. All he knew was that he was going to be fucking nervous enough doing this for the first time without worrying that he was gonna trigger some flashback that would leave Reese trembling and scared.

On his knees had seemed like the best choice.

The soft
thwap
of the pillow hitting the floor hit Reese like a gunshot, jerking him back a step and bringing his arms up to cross over his chest.

“Why?”

Tom wished there was enough light in the room for Reese to see the raised eyebrows look on Tom's face. He thought maybe he could have sparked a giggle in the slender shadow facing him but still too far away.

“You're kind of regretting that now, huh?” He hadn't meant to bring that into the light of actual words, but if he was having a hard time with the whiplash of their sexual tension, he could only imagine the roiling chaos going on in Reese's brain right now.

For a moment, a moment that sank like a cold stone in his stomach, he knew Reese was going to agree with him. Then he heard Reese sigh, a slow exhale that dropped his shoulders and sapped the tension from his crossed arms, one hand drifting down to rest a palm against the side of Tom's face. He leaned into that hand a little.

“No.”

“But it's weird that I don't go away after.”

“Yes.”

“Think you can come here?” He held out a hand, the motion, at least, visible in the dark room. “Just to hang on. For a moment.”

The hand Reese placed in his trembled. Tom pressed it lightly between his own palms until it stilled, then braced his own elbows on his thighs and dropped his head to rest against their linked hands.

“What we just did? That was the single hottest fucking thing I've ever done.” Reese's hand turned until his fingers flexed against Tom's skull, who shook his head a little, back and forth, rubbing his forehead against Reese's palm. “But that can't be
all
we do. You know that, right?”

Their breathing synchronized in the silence.

“You're a hot mess. And fuck me if that doesn't turn my crank, the things you do to keep a grip.” His eyes were adjusting to the darkness, until he could make out the shape of their feet as he stared down at the floor. Thank God for the dark. No way could he have had this conversation in the light. “But I'm trying not to be an asshole here, Reese. And you've gotta let me—” He fumbled for the right words. Came up empty. “You've gotta
let
me. Okay?”

He tried to picture himself, golden Tom of two years ago, holding hands with a guy in the dark and asking—no,
begging
—the guy to let Tom blow him and almost sent himself into a panic. How the fuck handling his own shit and trying to operate at a base level of not being a total asshole had led here, he didn't know. His hands clenched on Reese's until he knew he was crushing bones painfully tight, but he couldn't let go. Reese had his own need for control, but so did Tom. He'd been broken, broken and shattered in a million pieces, and the man he'd managed to reassemble out of the wreck of his past life didn't know much, but he knew this one thing.

“I can't be that guy. Don't make me be that guy.”

Tom waited.

It felt like meditating, breathing in and out in time with the man who stood in front of him, waiting to know what would happen next. To find out which scary alternative would be offered to him. Never doing this again, because he couldn't, he just
couldn't
be the guy who took advantage, not anymore. Or, almost more scary and the thing that might leave Tom the one trembling with nerves…in another minute or an hour or the next day, Tom would be on his knees, unsure of himself and so, so vulnerable.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

The shift in Reese's body that let him know they were going to be okay, at least for this, was invisible in the dark, but he felt it with his hands as the tension in Reese's wrist slipped away. A tiny thing, but enough to let him know it was okay to reach a hand out and feel for the buckle of Reese's belt and tug him closer with it.

His hands
were
shaking, the clatter of the belt buckle as it slipped out of his fingers and hit the floor loud enough to make them jerk. He'd felt less spotlit when the lights were on and Reese was watching him stroke himself. It didn't help that he knew Reese's eyes had to have adjusted to the dark too, that he knew Reese could see him clearly enough, head bowed before him.

But maybe Reese could tell how freaked out he was, because a moment later his hands were bracketing Tom's face and lifting it up while he bent down and laid his mouth against Tom's, who opened to him like coming home. Reese's lips were soft and shifting against his, pressing and letting go, his tongue a slow stroke for a moment that slid back to shared breathing and then drifting kisses that landed all over Tom's face until he closed his eyes as they fell on his eyelids. The tension he didn't know he'd been holding in his shoulders and chest melted away.

Reese lifted his mouth to speak.

“It's kind of weird for both of us, okay? Don't stress.”

He nodded, eyes stinging a little, and held still for one last kiss. His breathing steadied as he pulled his face away from Reese's and tugged again on the waistband he held in curled fingers. Reese shifted forward a step until he stood between Tom's knees and sucked in his stomach as Tom opened his jeans and pushed them down his thighs, taking his briefs with them because he didn't think he could do this in slow steps.

“Tickles.”

Reese's whisper made him smile and press a kiss to the newly bared skin of his stomach. While he was there, he stopped to lick a line from the bump of one hip bone to the other. Too skinny, his boy was. Needed to eat more. But the taste of him, clean and warm under Tom's tongue kicked off a slow burn in his gut that he'd thought was done for the night. He rested his teeth against the edge of Reese's hip and resisted giving him a bite. Warm skin under his mouth quivered and he smiled, hyperaware of the cock inches from his face. From his mouth.

“Don't you dare.” Reese tried to sound stern but failed as the giggles broke out when Tom let his teeth close a microscopic amount, the gentlest of nips. The skin of Reese's flat stomach quaked with silent laughter as Tom sucked on it.

The lightness saved him, made it okay to push his face forward and down, pressing his nose into the scruff of pubes and inhale, the rich earthy smell of Reese clicking with something deep in his belly. He felt the muscles of Reese's stomach move before he heard the words.

“Sorry. I'm normally pretty well-groomed, but I haven't been, you know…” Reese's voice was tight, “…using the equipment, so maintenance has fallen way off plan.” His laugh sounded brittle.

Tom stroked a hand down Reese's flank, steadying them both. When he nudged Reese a step back and slid off the bed to land his knees on the pillow, he felt the tension ratchet up in the sudden tensing of Reese's quad. But the more nervous Reese got, the further Tom's calm took hold.