Off the Record (31 page)

My heart plummets and my stomach rolls over. I have failed and Linc is not willing to give me a second chance. I deserve it, I know. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

I stand on shaky legs and pick up my purse. Walking to the door, I feel my heart breaking with every move. Cracking and tearing open, shredded beyond repair. Just as I reach out for the doorknob, I feel his hand on my shoulder.

It’s warm and soft. Then he slightly grips it, turning me around. I keep my eyes on the floor because I’m afraid of what I may see. Is it a goodbye? Will it be the forgiveness I need in his eyes? Could my hope beyond hope of love be reflected?

His hands come to my face and gently cradle me. He uses his thumbs to wipe the moisture that is still raining.

“Look at me, Ever,” he softly commands.

I drag my eyes up and I almost reel backward from the blazing emotion that is hitting me. It’s almost too powerful for me to understand. My heart is thumping madly in my chest.

Linc leans in and softly kisses my lips, tasting the salt of my tears. I can’t help the grateful sigh that seeps out. The kiss deepens and I feel like I’ve come home.

Pulling away is hell, but I need him to hear it from my lips. “I love you so much, Linc. I am destroyed without you.”

He smiles at me and it’s gentle. “I know, baby. I got the message.”

“Please say you forgive me. I need you to forgive me.” A sob comes out and I could slap myself, because I don’t want to give into my extreme angst right now. I want to relish every bit of this conversation.

He pulls me into his chest and just hugs me, smoothing his fingertips over my back. His lips touch the top of my head, and he says, “There’s nothing to forgive. My girl loves me, and I love her. That’s all we need.”

Relief rushes through me and I squeeze him tightly. My words are muffled in his chest and I hope he understands when I tell him, “I’m so sorry. So sorry for hurting you. I will never hurt you again. Please believe me.”

Linc draws away. “Shh. Enough of regrets. We’re moving forward, okay?”

“Yes...forward.  Thank you so much for giving me a chance.”

Linc takes one of my hands and kisses it gently. “Ever...you are a very brave woman. I know you have very sound reasons for rejecting love. I know how scary it is for you. I’m just amazed at your spirit, and your determination. You...humble me actually.”

Oh, God. I never thought Linc could say such simple words that would practically knock the breath out of me, but he succeeds. I don’t even know how to respond to the compliments he just paid me.

I shake my head. “No, you’re the one that humbles me. You’ve understood me when no one else really has...”

I trail off, at a loss of words to say anything more. I’m overwhelmed by his absolute love and generosity. And for just a split second, I feel unworthy of his love but then I chase those thoughts away. We are made for each other, and I’m going to live the rest of my life basking in that knowledge.

My mouth is captured by his again, and our tongues immediately start dueling.

“I missed you so much,” Linc growls into my mouth. “Don’t you ever fucking leave me again. Because I’ll hunt you down and tie you up if I have to.”

Shivers run up and down my spine at his words. They are possessive, and I find myself wanting to be possessed.

“I missed you too,” I tell him and then gently suck on his lower lip. “How about you take me into your bedroom right now and I’ll let you tie me up anyway.”

“Fuck yeah, that’ll work.”

Linc picks me up, winding my legs around his waist. After one more scorching kiss, he walks toward his bedroom, and I know that I’ve definitely come home.

I’m sunk deep inside of Ever. The blood is pounding in my ears. It’s racing through my veins and demanding my body to pick up the pace. Her nails, which are currently sunk into my ass, demand the same thing. But I want to take it slow. This is the first time we’ve had any privacy for a week and I want to savor my girl.

My dad, Nix and Emily have just left. They were visiting from New York for the start of my hockey season with the Coyotes. We had a great time and everyone went to our opening game last night. After, we all came back and sat on the patio, sharing memories and creating new ones.

And the new memories were quite good indeed.

I knew what was coming, as did my dad and Ever.  Everyone was in on it except for Emily.

The look on her face when Nix got up from his chair and dropped to his knees in front of Em was priceless. I still remember how she nervously pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, then she looked at Ever in a near state of panic. But then Nix reached his hand up and lightly gripped her chin. He turned her face so she was looking down at him.

“Emily...I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. I even thought of crazy and over the top ways to let everyone know how much I wanted you to be with me forever. But honestly...I couldn’t think of any better way than to do it in front of my family. Because I want to honor you in front of them. It’s because of you that I am whole again. And it’s because of you that my brother and my dad have the real me back. So I wanted them here with me when I asked you to be my wife.”

Nix turned to my dad who stood up and reached in his pants pocket. He pulled out the jeweler’s box that he had been diligently guarding all day and handed it over. Nix opened it up and pulled out the ring. Grabbing Emily’s hand, he slid it over her finger, and even sitting across the table I could see the diamond glistening in the moonlight.

“Emily...you know what you need to say to make my life complete. Will you be my wife, and the mother of our children? Will you grow old with me and share all of life’s joys with me?”

Emily never really responded with a “yes”. She just threw herself into Nix’s arms, knocking him completely backward so they were lying on the patio, her lips locked to his.

I glanced over at Ever and lovely tears of joy were puddled in her eyes. It’s weird to say, but I love seeing my girl cry. It represents my butterfly shedding her chrysalis.

When Emily finally pulled back from Nix, the look on his face nearly had tears forming in my eyes, which wasn’t very manly at all. But to be able to see Nix...a man that had once been so hardened and remote I feared he would never know true happiness, have a look of such serenity about him...well, it filled me with the greatest hope for what was to come with me and Ever.

Later that night, my dad approached me. He was clearly riding high on the emotion of gaining a new daughter. He told me that I shouldn’t wait too long to put a ring on Ever’s finger because he wanted lots of grandbabies and we couldn’t expect Nix and Emily to do all of the heavy hitting. I was like,
Geez dad, we’ve only been together a few months. Slow down.

But part of me was secretly thrilled he saw the potential for us to make it that far.

And while I loved having my family here, and missed them like crazy the minute they left, I’m glad to be alone with Ever again.

As soon as they walked out the door, I turned around and leaned against it. Giving my most seductive look to Ever, I told her, “You have thirty seconds to take your clothes off and get into bed, or I’ll do it for you.”

I actually saw a tremor ripple through her body at my words and her eyes darkened. After she gave a swipe of her lip with that devil of a tongue, she turned away from me and peeled her shirt over her head. She never looked back at me as she walked into our bedroom.

Our bedroom.

The thought still almost brings me to my knees. Since that day two months ago when she sat on my couch, begging me to love her, I’ve done nothing but whisper words of thanks every day that she is back in my life. We haven’t been separated since. I even flew back to New York with her to help her pack her things, and we rented a truck and drove across the country together.

Ever has been looking for a job but has had no luck so far. But that’s okay, it’s not like we’re in the poorhouse. I’ve encouraged her to take her time and get a job that she will love.

I carry the article she wrote about me in my wallet. It’s the one from the actual newspaper, and it’s getting a little worn around the edges. I pull it out frequently to read her words. I don’t like her saying terrible things about herself, like she is selfish and weak. I tend to skip those lines. Sometimes, I will just skim the article, my eyes inadvertently going to one of my favorite parts.

He is the one for me.

How do I know?

Because he made me cry.

And while I hate that I made Ever cry, I’m so very thankful that she has the ability to love me. If it took a few dropped tears, then it was worth it.

I followed Ever into the bedroom. When I got there, she had already discarded the remainder of her clothes. She walked to me and helped me undress. Even the slightest graze of her fingers on my skin caused my nerves to fire and my blood to race.

And then we just kissed. I could kiss Ever for hours at a time. Our bodies were pressed into each other, my dick throbbing with the need to be inside of her. Our hands roamed, finding those places that were wet with need or hardened by desire.

I loved how we whispered sexy words to each other, like we don’t want anyone else to hear our secrets.

That feels so good.

Yes, do that again.

I need to fuck you.

Please...now.

And as I slowly move in and out of Ever, I watch as her eyes flutter closed, her long lashes casting shadows on her cheeks. Her lips are slightly parted and I can just see her tongue peeking out.

I take my time...loving the way she feels.

She moves against me, tilting her hips in sync with my rhythm.

Her eyes open briefly and she smiles at me. My heart pounds just from that look, and I push in just a little harder. She answers me with a bite to my shoulder and tremors flow down my spine.

We are so in tune with each other, our bodies almost seem to be one. She approaches her orgasm first, and I’ve come to recognize the signs. Her inner thighs clench to me tighter and she bites down on her bottom lip with her front two teeth. I find it adorable and incredibly stimulating that my girl is getting ready to explode.

Just recognizing her signs is enough to start my catapult. My body rushes into ecstasy so I can fall over the edge with her. She always gives a super sexy cry when she comes, and I always answer with her name floating off my tongue.

When the last spasms leave our bodies, we both always say the same thing, at the same time.

“I love you.”

I try to write about an important issue in each of my books and in this one I wanted to mention volunteerism. The scenes in Oklahoma were taken from my direct experience helping the people of Joplin, Missouri clean up after an EF5 tornado tore through on May 22, 2011. I flew from North Carolina and spent a weekend there helping with the efforts. It was overwhelming because no matter how hard we worked that weekend, we barely made a dent. Clean up recovery was made possible all thanks to the coordination of volunteers through AmeriCorps, which took months and months of hard work and sacrifice.  This is an amazing organization and you can learn more about it by visiting the AmeriCorps Website at
http://www.nationalservice.gov/programs/americorps