Offshore (41 page)

“
Craig McDougal,” said Eddie.

“
What about him?”

“
I saw what you did to him. You were eating him!”

Euterich
puckered his mouth.

Looking
thoughtful, he said, “I wouldn’t call it eating. I only managed a
little bite of his liver. Not enough to do me any good.”

“
He was still alive.”

Euterich’s eyebrows arched and he registered genuine
surprise. “Was he? Oh dear. A terrible oversight on my part. I’m
usually very careful to ensure complete dispatch. I do apologise
for any upset that might have caused you. I shall have to be more
careful next time. I do hope he wasn’t in much pain.” He cocked his
head. “Aren’t you going to ask about Doctor Brewer? Don’t you want
to know where he is?”

“
Why would I? He’s standing right in front of
me.”

“
Is he?”

In
Euterich’s blue tinted face, with its purple lipped mouth twisted
in a demented sneer, in those black as coal eyes with their
maniacal glint, Eddie thought he saw a momentary change.

No more
than a wave, a ripple, and it was gone, leaving behind the
impression of a man wearing a translucent mask with the shadow of
something older, darker, wholly malevolent lurking behind and
peering out through it.

Eddie’s
eyes widened and he took a step back.

Euterich’s grin broadened. “Aaahh, you see, don’t you, Mr
Capstan? The scales have fallen from your eyes?”

Eddie swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry. “I
saw…j
ust
then, I thought I saw…behind your face…something else.
Something…not–”

“
Human?”

Eddie nodded.

“
And you would be absolutely
right.”

“
Not…Brewer?”

“
No.”

“
Who then?”

Euterich wrinkled his nose.

“
Not so much a who, as a what, and yet
still beyond your understanding, Mr Capstan.”

“
Try me. Are you some kind of …
vampire?”

Euterich threw back his head and laughed. “Good God no!
What an imagination you have. Vampires and suchlike are just
characters in books. They don’t actually exist. Come to think of
it, I don’t think there is a name for somebody like me. I am what I
am and always have been, like my father before me. As Shakespeare
once said, 'T
here are more things in heaven and
earth
,
Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy', so let’s leave it
at that shall we.”

“
Not on your life! If I’m going to die I
deserve the right to know who or what my murderer is, and why I’m
being killed. The least you can do is pay me the courtesy of
telling me your fucking name.”

“
Now now Mr Capstan, there’s no need to
swear.”

As if
settling down for a cosy fireside chat, Euterich parked his
backside on the corner of the worktop, nail gun laid against his
thigh, still pointing in Eddie’s direction.

“
Euterich,” he said.

“
What?”

“
My name. Euterich.”

“
Sounds foreign. Where are you from?”

“
Originally? A country in Europe once known as Prussia. I
was born 458 years ago to a human mother and a father like me
–”

“
Four hundred and –?”

The nail
gun twitched. “Don’t interrupt me, Mr Capstan!”

“
I’m... I’m sorry. Please... go on.”

“
Thank you. As I was saying, in my long life I have
travelled extensively, in many guises, so I’ve come to consider
myself to be of no fixed abode, of no particular nationality, a
truly international wanderer.” Eddie stayed silent until he
received the prompt. “Next question.”

“
Are there others like you?” he asked.

“
Oh yes. Lots. Everywhere,” said Euterich. “Most are
unsophisticated pathetic beings, not much more than beasts. The
rest of us…well let’s just say…” He winked. “How well do you know
anyone, eh?”

“
So how … how did you get here? On Bravo?”

Euterich
laughed. “Would you believe purely by accident? I was on a sailing
trip, on my way to pastures new, when a freak wave swamped my boat.
Washed me overboard, drowned my friends, and after half drowning me
too, delivered me here. I very nearly didn’t make it up the ladder.
Once I got in I found I couldn’t get out, and I spent six weeks
imprisoned in a disgusting workshop, existing on rats and toilet
water, until you nice people came to visit and Lonny Dick fed
me.”

“
Fed you? With...?”

“
Himself.”

“
That’s what you’ve been doing all along, isn’t it?” said
Eddie slowly, as if working out a maths problem. “You’ve been
moving from person to person, inhabiting their bodies. You feed on
them, somehow absorbing them, becoming them. That’s how you can
change your appearance to fit right in, staying hidden in plain
sight.”

Euterich, not slackening his grip on the nail gun for a
second, slapped his thigh with his free hand in the parody of
applause. “Bravo, Mr Capstan. Well done. Go to the head of the
class.” His expression then changed to one of concern. “I do hope
you’re feeling alright Mr Capstan, you look a little
peaky.”

As the
last words of the most implausible, far fetched, mind bending
imaginings outside any science fiction, horror or fantasy novel
left Eddie’s lips, he knew them to be the truth. At the dawning of
an impossible reality, the colour washed from his face and he felt
the first telltale tightening of his chest.

“
I’m fine,” he said.

“
You don’t look fine. In fact I’d say you look ghastly.
Another panic attack in the offing?”

“
I said I’m fine!”

Teeth
clenched, fighting the quiver in his voice, Eddie concentrated on
his breathing, and this time it worked, his next question came out
steady and controlled. “So now I know you’re not him, where is the
real Doctor Brewer?”

Euterich
slid his buttock off the work-top and walked toward
Eddie.

“
You’ll be pleased to know he’s a part of all of us now.” He
licked his smirking lips with deliberate slowness as he poked Eddie
in the gut with the business end of the nail gun.

Eddie’s
scarred stomach clenched. “What do you mean?”

Euterich’s voice fell low and conspiratorial. “Don’t tell
anyone, but I wasn’t the only one who got a taster of the dear old
prof. Remember that particularly fine steak and kidney pie we had
for dinner the other day, and how very fresh and tasty everyone
thought it was? How it had that certain
je ne sais quois
?”

Bile
rose in Eddie’s throat, his scalp tightened and prickled. He gulped
audibly. “Oh Jesus.”

“
Of course the meat would have tasted better if it had been
allowed to hang and mature for a couple of days. Fresh off the bone
was the best I could do. I took the best bits for myself of course,
the liver, the heart, some bone marrow, a little bit of leg meat;
the rest went into the pot for you guys. I’m rather proud of how it
turned out. I could give you the recipe if you like. Take one
over-educated frustrated desk jockey...”

A wide
grin split Euterich’s face, and he began to laugh, the harsh and
brittle cackle of a complete lunatic.

His
insane chuckling faded, to be replaced with a genteel expression so
often seen on a benevolent village priest; head cocked to one side,
the corners of his mouth turned up in a condescending
simper.

“
And now, I think we’ve done talking. It’s been very
pleasant, but time is getting on. So...” He raised the gun. “Let’s
get this over with. Lydia is waiting.”

Eddie
put up his hands. “Wait! Before you kill me, tell me, where is
Lydia? Is she safe?”

“
Ha!” Euterich’s eyes flashed anger. “At long last you think
of Lydia! What kept you? Slipped from your mind did
she?”

“
No! I –”

“
And I thought you cared about her.”

“
I do. Believe me, I do! Of course I do.”

Euterich’s voice rose to a shout. “So why did it take you
this long to ask about her, eh? She should have been the first
thing on your mind. The only thing!” The nail gun rose to heart
height again. “Hypocrite! You don’t deserve her!”

“
It was - she was – is - I’m not. Please, is she
alright?”

Euterich
continued to glower at Eddie, then his face softened and he smiled,
the ultraviolet light enhancing the whiteness of his teeth and
making them shimmer.

“
Yes. She’s quite safe,” he said.

“
What are you going to do with her?”

“
Oh, I have a plan in place. A good one. Want to hear
it?”

“
Not really –”

“–
not my original idea, that was a lot more complicated and
not very workable, but this one really is very clever.” He leaned
forward. “Can I tell you something, hush-hush between
us?”

Play nice with the madman Eddie.

“
Sure. Go ahead.”

Euterich shook his head with a smile and looked almost
embarrassed to divulge his secret. “You’ll probably not believe
this but … I’ve always had an overwhelming obsession, for as long
as I can remember … to be female. You know why? For no other reason
than I’ve never been one before and I wanted to see what it was
like. I managed to bury the desire for a long time, but when I saw
Lydia it all came flooding back. I fully intended to leave this
place as a woman; as Lydia. I’d concocted a plan of how I was going
to work my way through the whole crew, one at a time until I could
take
your
place. Then I would inveigle my way into her affections
until the time was right, then I would become her, and leave here
as the sole survivor of a tragedy beyond description.
Perfect.”

“
But to do that, you would have had to–”

“
Indeed,” said Euterich, his face pinched. “But things have
changed and now I have a whole new plan, and in it Lydia lives!
She’s come to mean more to me than you could ever appreciate, and
now I know my entire future lies in her, I could never hurt
her.”

“
You fell in love with her?” said Eddie.

“
Yes. And now I can’t bear to be without
her, and if I became her I wouldn’t be able to be
with
her, wouldn’t even
be able to see her unless I looked in a mirror, wouldn’t be able to
touch her, to smell her, to talk with her. Do you
understand?”

Eddie
nodded.

“
So you can die in peace my friend, because I fully intend
to look after her. I shall treat her like a princess. She’ll want
for nothing.”

“
Apart from her freedom.”

“
She won’t need it. She’ll have me. Therein, of course, lies
the one teensy weensy wrinkle in the scheme.”

“
And that is?”

“
Me. She hates me, or more specifically, she hates Dr
Brewer, particularly after he–” Euterich shook his head. “No
matter.”

“
He what?” said Eddie.

Euterich
said, “He may have acted somewhat... inappropriately toward her,”
and wafted his hand dismissively. “It’s nothing. Never mind. You
see the problem is, while I’m still in this body, Brewer’s body,
I’m not going to get within ten feet of the luscious Lydia again.
That’s where you–” He waved the nail gun under Eddie’s nose. “–and
this come in. You do know she’s in love with you don’t you? And
that one simple fact is what is going to make things so much easier
for me.”

Eddie
snorted. “Don’t talk twaddle. Lydia doesn’t love me.”

“
Au contraire
, Mister Capstan. It’s so obvious a
blind man could see it, and once Dr Brewer is found dead and is no
longer a threat, and she thinks you’ve saved her, you will be her
hero. She will fall at your feet pledging her adoration and
everlasting devotion. Except they won’t be
your
feet, will they, they will be mine; me in
your skin, although she’ll never know the difference. We’ll leave
here together, she and I, to live happily ever after, making lots
of little Eddies and Lydias. Doesn’t it sound wonderful? Can’t you
just see it all...?” A dreamy expression swept over
Brewer/Euterich’s face.

Eddie
nodded slowly, humouring the lunatic. “Yes. I see.”

I see you’re a fucking nutcase.

To his amazement Eddie realised he still had hold of the
oversized spoon and pictured himself striking down this deranged
monster, smashing in its skull and making a run for it.

No chance, if he so much as twitched Euterich would fire a
five inch bolt of steel into his heart and end his life, squeeze
into his skin and be on his way back to Lydia, leaving behind the
shell of a dead man with a ladle.

No
.
Whichever the way the wind blows, I’m not getting out of
here alive. I have to secure Lydia’s future. Have to.