Oh Myyy! (22 page)

Photo Credit: Rick Polito. Used with Permission.

I also really like a Facebook page called “Beware of Images”—which also apparently takes the time to create some original, thought-provoking memes like this one:

Or frankly hilarious ones like these:

Photo Credit: Sergio Toporek. Used with Permission.

Photo Credit: Mariel Clayton. Used with Permission.

But these are the exceptions. Most content on the Internet appears to have oozed forth from some primordial and undifferentiated goop. This makes identifying the original source of an image on the Internet damned near impossible. Even in the drafting of this book, when I wanted to use a particularly funny image, I have had my interns move heaven and earth to try and find out who really owned it, verify that as best as they could, and then get written permission to put it in the book. But after all this, I am dubious of many claims of ownership and rights to license.

Despite my best efforts to give proper attribution, fans and page administrators of other sites have taken issue with me. For example, on occasion I will read comments and a fan will simply write words like “9gag” or “Reddit” in the comment stream. I am not a user of sites beyond the ones I post on (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and on rare occasion Google+). So I had to ask around about what these sites were, and then I paid them a quick visit.

It turns out there are whole humor sites out there where fans generate memes and share them with one another, and on some vote them up or down. To quote Betty White, “It seems like an awful waste of time.” I’m sure these sites have their avid followings, but I already have my hands full looking through my own wall posts from fans without having to look at more. I figure if something is particularly funny on “Reddit” someone will probably post it to my wall, and I can get it there. Nor does it bother me that some other page posted it first. Being “first” in the Internet is like being the first runner to round the curve in a race. People may notice you momentarily, but then you’re just another runner with the pack, trying to make it to the finish line.

Speaking of being “first,” I’ve also noticed that many of my posts will begin their comment streams with some fan posting the word “FIRST!” There are a number of amusing things about this. There’s no prize for being first, so I’m not exactly sure what the point of the comment is. I sometime wonder if there are people out there who sit watching their screen for one of my posts, just so they can claim to be first. I suppose it’s the same mentality that causes people to camp out for iPhones or concert tickets.

Moreover, the poster can never really be sure they are first, because they are competing for that position with tens of thousands of other readers. Someone can probably type “lol” faster than “FIRST!” making the “FIRST!” look rather foolish sitting there in second place for all the world to see. And in any case, the “FIRST!” commenters subject themselves to significant ridicule even if they manage to be first, with sneering responses such as “Wow, Walter, you’re first. Do you want a friggin’ cookie? Loser.”

I’ve had some fun with this “FIRST!” phenomenon, readying myself to type “FIRST!” in the comment box as soon as my post appears. I know, it’s cheating, but it’s to underscore the silliness of the process. I once got over 50 likes just for posting my own “FIRST!” comment (yes, I actually go back and look to see who’s paying attention). Now, the other day, I actually tried this ruse but came in second. That got me steamed, looking at my “First” declaration squeezed sadly into second place by some hack. Then I remembered that it was my page. I simply clicked “hide” on the comment above mine.

Problem solved, I’m still the winner!

But back to the question of sources. As I noted earlier in this book, time and again, I’ve fought a battle between the need to get something out quickly (to remain topical) and the need to verify something’s authenticity (to remain credible). I rely on my fans to provide me with content, and I have no real idea where they get their information or their images.

Newsrooms face this problem every day of their existence from listener tips, but I tend to face it most during disasters and elections. During Hurricane Sandy, for example, I took it upon myself, somewhat naively, to try and provide information and resources about the storm. I encouraged fans to send in photos of storm damage, thinking that this might help motivate other fans to donate money to relief efforts out of sympathy. Similarly, I encouraged fans to send me election-related stories, particularly if they were in long polling lines or their machines did not record their votes accurately.

The problem, of course, was that some of the photos I began to receive were obviously fabricated — “shopped” as it were, or taken from another storm while claiming to be current. Some of the information I received was quite apparently inaccurate or misleading. Twice on Election Day I had to take down posts that listed “hotline” numbers which actually were partisan in nature. “Storm coverage” photos showing sharks swimming inland in New Jersey were dubious. Reports of power outages and power plant explosions couldn’t be verified.

There really isn’t a good answer to getting sources right, particularly since my outfit here consists of me, Brad and our interns. We can’t spend our time fact checking everything that pushes past our emails or my wall. And realistically speaking, I can’t be expected to provide credit, let alone obtain permission, with respect to each image, meme or quote I put up on my page. In this sense Facebook, Tumblr and Pinterest run smack into copyright laws that no one has figured out how, or even whether, to enforce.

Perhaps the best solution is to simply not take our “Internet” sources or information too seriously. During Hurricane Sandy, many of my fans were spending their energy imploring me not to post pictures that may not have been taken that day or may have been “shopped.” Out of exasperation, I posted this image, but emphasized that due to the high number of fake images out there, I had verified it first with Fox News:

Now, to be fair and balanced, on election night, I also posted: “MSNBC called the election for Obama, but that was back in October.”

Epic Fail, Epic Win

I appreciate failure. Failure means that an attempt was made, and a lesson can be learned. As long as we’re alive after the effort, there is a chance for success the next time around. As a friend sometimes says to me, “That which does not kill us pisses the hell out of us.”

A “fail” can be small or big. We appreciate the special kind of humor that small fails can bring: a sign advertising a ham special for Hanukkah; autocorrects that turn innocuous texts from family members into erotic messages; a Facebook profile of a woman next to Leonard Nimoy, with the caption “Biggest
Star Wars
fan ever!” The small failures bring us together because each of us experiences them regularly and can relate. They are reminders of our own tendency to make mistakes while hoping no one else sees them.

When failures happen to famous people, they remind us that we’re all human, and that we shouldn’t take failure as an indictment of who we are, or who we might become.