Authors: Derek Walcott
But then we all trust in Him, and that’s why we know
the peace of a wandering heart when it is housed.
Chapter XII
I
Our house with its bougainvillea trellises,
the front porch gone, was a printery. In its noise
I was led up the cramped stair to its offices.
I saw the small window near which we slept as boys,
how close the roof was. The heat of the galvanize.
A desk in my mother’s room, not that bed, sunlit,
with its rose quilt where we were forbidden to sit.
Pink handbills whirred under their spinning negative
and two girls stacked them from their retractable bed
as fast as my own images were reprinted
as I remembered them in an earlier life
that made the sheets linen, the machines furniture,
her wardrobe her winged, angelic mirror. The hum
of the wheel’s elbow stopped. And there was a figure
framed in the quiet window for whom this was home,
tracing its dust, rubbing thumb and middle finger,
then coming to me, not past, but through the machines,
clear as a film and as perfectly projected
as a wall cut by the jalousies’ slanted lines.
He had done a self-portrait, it was accurate.
In his transparent hand was a book I had read.
“In this pale blue notebook where you found my verses”—
my father smiled—“I appeared to make your life’s choice,
and the calling that you practise both reverses
and honours mine from the moment it blent with yours.
Now that you are twice my age, which is the boy’s,
which the father’s?”
“Sir”—I swallowed—“they are one voice.”
In the printery’s noise, and as we went downstairs
in that now familiar and unfamiliar house,
he said, in an accent of polished weariness,
“I was raised in this obscure Caribbean port,
where my bastard father christened me for his shire:
Warwick. The Bard’s county. But never felt part
of the foreign machinery known as Literature.
I preferred verse to fame, but I wrote with the heart
of an amateur. It’s that Will you inherit.
I died on his birthday, one April. Your mother
sewed her own costume as Portia, then that disease
like Hamlet’s old man’s spread from an infected ear,
I believe the parallel has brought you some peace.
Death imitating Art, eh?”
At the door to the yard,
he said, “I grew grapes here. Small, a little sour,
still, grapes all the same.”
“I remember them,” I said.
“I thought they died before you were born. Are you sure?”
“Yes.” The furred nap like nettles, their globes’ green acid.
“What was Warwick doing, transplanting Warwickshire?”
I saw him patterned in shade, the leaves in his hair,
the vines of the lucent body, the swift’s blown seed.
II
Out on the sidewalk the sunlight drained like the print
of a postcard flecked with its gnawing chemical
in which there was light, but with a sepia tint,
even on Grass Street with our Methodist chapel.
We passed under uprights with fretworks on their eaves,
mansards with similar woodwork, their verandahs
shuttered at both corners by half-cranked jalousies
through which pale cousins peered or a half-cracked aunt, as
if from the madhouse or a convent. Windows
framed their unshifting lives. During the hot, long day
they kept changing posts near which they leant, their elbows
jutting from a ledge, elbows as well known as they
were, or with a white head dipping in a rocker
while the black town walked barefoot and deafening bells
pounded the Angelus; but none saw the walker
in his white suit, their reveries were somewhere else,
they looked on their high-brown life as a souvenir
with a dried Easter palm, its amber sweets, its carts
horse-drawn, rubbing their beads and muttering
Veni,
Creator
to velvet cushions with embroidered hearts.
As iron bells ruled the town, and the poui flowers fell.
III
It was one. We passed the brown phantoms in white-drill
suits, some with pith-helmets whom the Angelus sent
back to work after lunch, suits rippled by the grille
of shade made by the long-stemmed pillars as we went
past them, the asphalt so hot that it was empty.
Heat waves rippled over it and one or two cars
pumped their bulb-horns and waved as they rattled by.
Then we came to a green square cut in smaller squares.
And the light from a bluer postcard filled its sky,
and it seemed, from his steps, that water sprang in plumes
from the curled, iron-green fountain at its centre,
though its gates were shut under pluming cabbage-palms,
a paradise I had to believe to enter.
But I did not ask him about the other life,
because the white shadow I had made from my mind
was vague in its origin and thin as belief,
unsinged as an Easter lily, fresh as the wind,
its whisper as soft as a pavement-scratching leaf.
Chapter XIII
I
“I grew up where alleys ended in a harbour
and Infinity wasn’t the name of our street;
where the town anarchist was the corner barber
with his own flagpole and revolving Speaker’s seat.
There were rusted mirrors in which we would look back
on the world’s events. There, toga’d in a pinned sheet,
the curled hairs fell like commas. On their varnished rack,
The World’s Great Classics
read backwards in his mirrors
where he doubled as my chamberlain. I was known
for quoting from them as he was for his scissors.
I bequeath you that clean sheet and an empty throne.”
We’d arrived at that corner where the barber-pole
angled from the sidewalk, and the photographer,
who’d taken his portrait, and, as some think, his soul,
leant from a small window and scissored his own hair
in a mime, suggesting a trim was overdue
to my father, who laughed and said “Wait” with one hand.
Then the barber mimed a shave with his mouth askew,
and left the window to wait by his wooden door
framed with dead portraits, and he seemed to understand
something in the life opposite not seen before.
“The rock he lived on was nothing. Not a nation
or a people,” my father said, and, in his eyes,
this was a curse. When he raged, his indignation
jabbed the air with his scissors, a swift catching flies,
as he pumped the throne serenely round to his view.
He gestured like Shylock: “Hath not a Jew eyes?”
making his man a negative. An Adventist,
he’s stuck on one glass that photograph of Garvey’s
with the braided tricorne and gold-fringed epaulettes,
and that is his other Messiah. His paradise
is a phantom Africa. Elephants. Trumpets.
And when I quote Shylock silver brims in his eyes.
II
“Walk me down to the wharf.”
At the corner of Bridge
Street, we saw the liner as white as a mirage,
its hull bright as paper, preening with privilege.
“Measure the days you have left. Do just that labour
which marries your heart to your right hand: simplify
your life to one emblem, a sail leaving harbour
and a sail coming in. All corruption will cry
to be taken aboard. Fame is that white liner
at the end of your street, a city to itself,
taller than the Fire Station, and much finer,
with its brass-ringed portholes, mounting shelf after shelf,
than anything Castries could ever hope to build.”
The immaculate hull insulted the tin roofs
beneath it, its pursers were milk, even the bilge
bubbling from its stern in quietly muttering troughs
and its humming engines spewed expensive garbage
where boys balanced on logs or, riding old tires,
shouted up past the hull to tourists on the rails
to throw down coins, as cameras caught their black cries,
then jackknife or swan-dive—their somersaulting tails
like fishes flipped backwards—as the coins grew in size
in the wobbling depth; then, when they surfaced, fights
for possession, their heads butting like porpoises,
till, like a city leaving a city, the lights
blazed in its moving rooms, and the liner would glide
over its own phosphorus, and wash hit the wharves
long after stewards had set the service inside
the swaying chandeliered salons, and the black waves
settle down to their level. The stars would renew
their studded diagrams over Achille’s canoe.
From here, in his boyhood, he had seen women climb
like ants up a white flower-pot, baskets of coal
balanced on their torchoned heads, without touching them,
up the black pyramids, each spine straight as a pole,
and with a strength that never altered its rhythm.
He spoke for those Helens from an earlier time:
“Hell was built on those hills. In that country of coal
without fire, that inferno the same colour
as their skins and shadows, every labouring soul
climbed with her hundredweight basket, every load for
one copper penny, balanced erect on their necks
that were tight as the liner’s hawsers from the weight.
The carriers were women, not the fair, gentler sex.
Instead, they were darker and stronger, and their gait
was made beautiful by balance, in their ascending
the narrow wooden ramp built steeply to the hull
of a liner tall as a cloud, the unending
line crossing like ants without touching for the whole
day. That was one section of the wharf, opposite
your grandmother’s house where I watched the silhouettes
of these women, while every hundredweight basket
was ticked by two tally clerks in their white pith-helmets,
and the endless repetition as they climbed the
infernal anthracite hills showed you hell, early.”
III
“Along this coal-blackened wharf, what Time decided
to do with my treacherous body after this,”
he said, watching the women, “will stay in your head
as long as a question you have no right to ask,
only to doubt, not hate our infuriating
silence. I am only the shadow of that task
as much as their work, your pose of a question waiting,
as you crouch with a writing lamp over a desk,
remains in the darkness after the light has gone,
and whether night is palpable between dawn and dusk
is not for the living; so you mind your business,
which is life and work, like theirs, but I will say this:
O Thou, my Zero, is an impossible prayer,
utter extinction is still a doubtful conceit.
Though we pray to nothing, nothing cannot be there.
Kneel to your load, then balance your staggering feet
and walk up that coal ladder as they do in time,
one bare foot after the next in ancestral rhyme.
Because Rhyme remains the parentheses of palms
shielding a candle’s tongue, it is the language’s
desire to enclose the loved world in its arms;
or heft a coal-basket; only by its stages
like those groaning women will you achieve that height
whose wooden planks in couplets lift your pages
higher than those hills of infernal anthracite.
There, like ants or angels, they see their native town,
unknown, raw, insignificant. They walk, you write;
keep to that narrow causeway without looking down,
climbing in their footsteps, that slow, ancestral beat
of those used to climbing roads; your own work owes them
because the couplet of those multiplying feet
made your first rhymes. Look, they climb, and no one knows them;
they take their copper pittances, and your duty
from the time you watched them from your grandmother’s house
as a child wounded by their power and beauty
is the chance you now have, to give those feet a voice.”
We stood in the hot afternoon. My father took
his fob-watch from its pocket, replaced it, then said,
lightly gripping my arm,
“He enjoys a good talk,
a serious trim, and I myself look ahead
to our appointment.” He kissed me. I watched him walk
through a pillared balcony’s alternating shade.
BOOK TWO
Chapter XIV
I
The midshipman swayed in the coach, trying to read.
He knew that the way to fortify character
was by language and observation: the Dutch road
striped with long poplar shadows in the late after-
noon, the weight of the man in his coach, a sunbeam
changing sides on the cushion, a spire’s fishhook
luring a low shoal of clouds like silvery bream
towards it; the light gilding the spine of his book,
the stale smell of canals in the red-thatched farmer
who glowered and swung like a lantern on the seat
opposite, with the marsh-breath of an embalmer,
a wire-coop of white chickens between his feet,
each boot as capacious as those barges crossing
the Lowland reaches at dusk. The Dutch were grossing
a fortune in the Northern Antilles, and he