On Any Given Sundae (6 page)

Fifteen minutes later, Elizabeth had managed
to mostly relax. The children’s queries kept her occupied and
Marie-Louisa tossed encouraging smiles her way. She released a
deep, pent-up breath. She’d almost done it. She’d nearly made it
through the meal without saying or doing anything too embarrassing,
thank goodness. In another half hour she’d be able to go home.

She glanced around the lively table. The
triplets were making a game of poking holes in their bread. Sammie
was still hiccupping. Camilla and her mother were giggling about
something they’d seen in a Disney video. Rob and Tony were in the
midst of a rousing debate over the previous NFC and AFC champs and
the players who’d make the best draft picks for the fall season.
Everyone grinned, talked, munched. She took a big bite of
manicotti.

“So, Elizabeth,” the family matriarch said
loudly, “don’t you think my son should get married soon?”

She gulped her half-chewed pasta too fast,
which plunged her into a fit of coughing.

“Oh, let me get you some water,” Maria-Louisa
said, jumping to her feet and rushing into the kitchen. The kind
young woman returned a moment later with a full glass. “Drink
this.”

“Th-Th-Thank y-you,” she managed to say
between coughs. She could feel her face flushing and knew it must
be a delightful shade of scarlet by now.

“Mama,” she heard Rob say. “I don’t
think—”

“Oh, nonsense, Roberto. She’s your
girlfriend, after all. Don’t you think the lady’s got an
opinion?”

Elizabeth choked on the water.
His
girlfriend!
“H-H-His—” was all she could get out before Rob
interrupted.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” he told her in an
unfamiliar, ultra-soothing tone. “I told them about our
long-distance relationship, and how glad I was to be able to spend
the month up here with you while we were helping out our
uncles.”

WHAT?
“Wh-Wh—” she began, seeing him
leap out of his seat and walk around the table toward her.

“You know, maybe you need some hot tea
instead,” Rob said, the pleading note in his voice starting to
break through as he reached her. “I know you’re still getting over
that awful cold.” He put his arm around her shoulder and began
steering her out of the room. “Hey, everyone, why don’t you guys
just continue eating while I make Elizabeth a steaming mug of tea
to
quiet
her cough.”

“I’ve got some Earl Grey in the cabinet,” his
mother said.

“Thanks, Mama.” He all but pushed Elizabeth
into the kitchen. “Anybody else want some?” he called over his
shoulder.

No one did.

“Okay. See you all in a few minutes,” Rob
said cheerfully.

She swiveled around to face him once they
were alone, pointed her index finger at his broad chest and tried
to speak. “H-How could y-you t-t-tell them—”

“Shh. Please, Elizabeth, just listen to me,”
he whispered. “I know I made up a whole bunch of stuff about our
relationship, but could you please, please, please find it in your
heart to play along?” He didn’t wait for her to answer. “I’m in way
over my head here, and I didn’t know what else to do. A
month
. My God, a month with my mother trying to set me up
with every available woman in Wilmington Bay. I just couldn’t do it
again. Last time I was home only for a weekend, and she called her
friends and managed to get me three dates in less than forty-eight
hours. No way will I survive a whole month.”

He pointed frantically in the direction of
the dining room.

“I love my brother with all my heart and
soul, but that guy in there is killing me.
Five
kids! Who,
by age twenty-six, has five kids? I’m older than Tony and not even
married. Not even engaged. Hell, the last time I had a steady
girlfriend was when I was still in college. I like the single life.
I like being unencumbered. Kids scare the shit out of me, and every
woman I’ve ever dated wants like twelve of them.”

He inhaled several gulps of air.

“I come from a family of six siblings,
Elizabeth. Only my little sister Ginny is still unmarried, and
that’s just because she’s a college junior. But even
she’s
got a serious boyfriend. Andy-something-or-other. And he looks like
the type who’ll propose the second after he crosses the graduation
podium. The others are scattered around the country, but they call
Mama. They speculate about me and exert their pressure on me long
distance.”

He ran his fingers through his thick dark
wavy hair and looked at her with the closest thing to “fear” she’d
ever seen on his handsome face.

“I know this has to be really awful for you,”
he said. “But would you please pretend you’re my girlfriend, just
for a few weeks? We can break up when our uncles come back from
Europe. I’ll go back to Chicago and won’t ever bother you again.
And I promise I’ll make it seem like I’m the bad guy so you don’t
have to deal with my family’s wrath or resentment if you run into
any of them in town.” He paused. “I’d be forever indebted to you,
Elizabeth, and in the meantime I’ll work all of your shifts so you
can finish your cookbook. I—I own a restaurant. I know how to make
really great sandwiches. I can bring lunch over to you on my break.
If you’ve got a dog, I can walk him. I do windows. I’ll have
Jacques teach me how to make éclairs and—”

“Rob?”

“Yeah?”

“W-Would you please shut up now?”

He clamped his lips together so comically she
was seduced into laughing. And then, despite the absolute
horrendousness of his idea, she found herself agreeing to “be his
girlfriend” (and, yes, coming to family dinners as such) for the
month of June.

How did her life get so out-of-control all of
a sudden? So bizarre? Oh, that’s right. Roberto Gabinarri came back
into town.

“How’s your throat, dear?” his mother asked
upon their return. “Did the tea help?”

“Um, y-yes. I-I’m fine.”

“Good. So, where were we when you left?”
Alessandra Gabinarri paused and glanced around the table filled
with her clan. She smiled with warmth at everyone. “Ah, yes. My
son. Don’t you think he should get married soon?”

CHAPTER FOUR

Rob couldn’t believe he’d talked Elizabeth
Daniels into this. A smart lady like her posing as his girlfriend.
Probably the most intelligent female in his high school graduating
class. Jeez, she must think he and his family were criminally
insane.

But if she did, she didn’t show it.

He watched her from across the table, still
holding his breath as she fielded a slew of questions from his
mother. Despite her longstanding difficulty speaking, she bravely
fought through the stutters and tried to answer diplomatically.

“I-I think m-marriage is only right when two
people are r-r-really in l-love.” She glanced at Tony and
Maria-Louisa as she spoke these words and, for the first time ever,
he felt a surge of something like envy at what his brother had
going. The guy was still in love with his wife, and it showed in
Tony’s every glimpse at her and at his passel of children.

“But there comes a time when a man needs to
settle down,” Mama insisted. “Don’t you want a husband? A house?
Children?”

Elizabeth nodded. “S-Sure.”

“See?” His mother raised an eyebrow at him.
“Women are smart. They know what they want. It’s men who need to
get their act together.”

And at this, shy, sweet Frizzy Lizzy actually
snickered. Mama beamed at her.

He didn’t know which Madonna he should pray
to tonight, but he was willing to send invocations to them both to
keep his dear mother from planning a fall wedding.

Shortly after they devoured one of Mama’s
trademark tiramisus, he said it was time to go.

“Elizabeth has a cookbook to write,” he told
them, knowing how impressed they’d be by this fact. “And I have the
closing shift at Tutti-Frutti to get to.”

“Thanks for the d-delicious dinner.”

Elizabeth’s words were met with a gigantic
squeeze from Mama who said, as he knew she would, “You must come
every time with Roberto. He will be here tomorrow night, too, and
I’m making a big lasagna.” She gestured to show the enormous size
of the tray. No exaggeration, either. Mama cooked large. “Please
join us.”

His new “girlfriend” stole a look in his
direction before saying, “I’d b-be delighted.”

“
Fantastico!”
And with that promise to
hold close, Mama let the two of them go for the night.

“See you later, Rob,” Tony said to him, and
he knew his kid brother would have the sofa sleeper already pulled
out and made up for him when he got in tonight after his closing
shift. He was one lucky dude, having a brother like that. Even if
the guy made him look like a slacker when it came to
relationships.

“Thanks, Tony.” He gave his mother a kiss and
the family a parting wave. Then he lightly took Elizabeth’s arm and
led her to his Porsche.

“Whew,” he said, when they’d driven a mile
away from the house. “We did it.” He turned to her. “Thank you. You
were amazing. Brilliant. No one suspected a thing.”

She looked at him for a long moment, her
expression unreadable. “Roberto Gabinarri, that was the most
deceitful, underhanded, lousy trick I’ve ever seen anyone play on
their mother, and I think you should be ashamed of yourself. Both
for trying to fool her and for manipulating her emotions in such a
disgraceful way.”

He felt a stab of pain in the vicinity of his
heart. Damn it if she wasn’t right, but this wasn’t something he
wanted to admit. Or intended to.

“And that was the longest sentence I’ve ever
heard you say to me without stuttering,” he said, striking back
without thinking, and then wishing he could slap his own mouth for
his thoughtlessness.

“I-Is that why you chose m-me?” she asked,
pulling her lovely lips into a tight, unforgiving line. “Not
because I wouldn’t want to say no to you, but because you thought I
couldn’t?”

He pulled the car over to the side of the
road and turned off the engine. It killed him that she’d think so
poorly of him, that he’d hurt her like this, especially when she
was trying to help him. It killed him worse that, in some small
way, she was right. Not that he’d admit that either.

“I am so sorry, Elizabeth. No, that wasn’t
why I chose you. My comment was rude and inexcusable, and I hope
you’ll forgive me. Sometimes I speak without thinking.”

“I never do,” she whispered.

He nodded but the lump of self-recrimination
in his throat kept him from replying.

“So, w-why did you choose me, th-then?”

Her question was a fair one, but he didn’t
have an honest answer. He’d already stretched the truth a bit. Yes,
her inability to speak quickly and freely
had
, he was
ashamed to admit, passed through his mind when he formed the idea
of taking her to his mother’s. With a family as chatty as his, and
Elizabeth being so naturally quiet, he thought he might be able to
direct the conversation with no one being the wiser. That had
backfired, of course. But he’d also counted on Elizabeth’s warm
heart to see him through if he got caught. Which he had.

“I knew that, even if you were furious with
me, you’d still back me up. That you wouldn’t throw wine or ice
water or hot tea in my face. That you wouldn’t embarrass me in
front of my family.” All this was true, and he tried to project
every ounce of his sincerity in saying it. “Thanks for being
someone I could count on. Even though we haven’t seen each other in
years, you’re still just as I remembered you.”

At this, something dark passed behind her
clear eyes and she looked down. “It’s almost eight,” she told him,
belatedly touching her watch although she was clearly well aware of
the time. “You’d better drive us back to Tutti-Frutti.”

“Okay,” he said, and let it go. He’d make
this gaffe up to her. Hell, he’d have a month of dinners to do it.
Maybe he’d even confide in Tony at the end of the month, ask him if
he knew of any nice guys to set Elizabeth up with after he
hightailed it back to Chicago.

Although there was something vaguely
unsatisfying about that thought. Probably because she was a truly
nice
girl, and he wouldn’t want her to get hurt by some of
those creeps out there. God, there were a lot of bad dudes on the
prowl.

They got back to the sweets shop and
Elizabeth, after waving to Gretchen and Nick, slipped into her car
and sped away.

“Hey, my sporting man,” Nick said. “Glad
you’re finally here. Over two hours with the Gretch and I’m sick to
death of hearing about reality TV shows and couples falling in love
on islands in the Carrib—”

Gretchen gave him a powerful slug in the
arm.

“Ow.” Nick glared at her. “I totally hate it
when you do that.”

“And I ‘totally hate it’ when you shoot your
big mouth off without so much as a thought passing through that
sports-festering brain,” she said, thrusting her ice cream scoop
into a water bucket and wiping her fingers with a paper towel. Then
she kissed Nick on the cheek. “Good thing I love you anyway,” she
told the young man as she reached for her handbag. “Where’s
Elizabeth? Did she leave already?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Rob said.

“Were you nice to her?” she asked, giving him
a threatening look.

He swallowed. “I tried to be.”

Gretchen grinned. “Okay, then.” She turned
toward Nick. “In that case, you can talk about sports with
Rob.”

“Like I need your
permission
,” Nick
said, but he blew her an air kiss.

She waved goodbye to Nick and surprised Rob
by winking in his direction on her way out. This was one weird
crowd Elizabeth hung with. But, he had to admit, they were growing
on him.

***

“The guy’s demented!” Gretchen shrieked on
the phone when Elizabeth explained what had transpired over the
past two and a half hours. “And you’re going along with this?
Someone ought to knock some sense into that—”