On Becoming His - Lessons Learned (11 page)

Oddly enough, Luke never even mentioned
being close to someone. She sat back and thought about all their conversations. Not once had he mentioned having any friends. Was that odd or did the lack of mentioning any mean he was that much more into her? “Oh my Sir, I would love to drop to my knees and crawl toward you, my eyes never leaving your face. I would kneel before my Sir, allowing you to look at me and tell me what you wanted. I would wait for your command.”

Luke growled. “Go on.”

“Then I’d wrap my hand around the base of your cock, bringing the tip to my lips. I’d lick all the way around, swirling my tongue slowly, just like you like before taking your shaft into my mouth. I would suck your cockhead as I eased my other hand between your legs, cupping and caressing your balls between my fingers. Then I’d squeeze until you moaned. Would you like that?” Her pussy twitching, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to stand the dirty talk but for so long without some relief.

“
Yyyyeeeesss, I love that. How hard would you suck me?”

“Very hard, Sir. I’d suck just the tip as I rolled your balls between my fingers.” Her voice skipping, she took a sip of wine and set the glass down
, barely managing not to drop the damn thing. Why was he making her so hot and bothered? Whew, she was hot all over.

“Am I making you wet already, my kitten?”

Panting, she smiled to herself before brushing her hand through her hair. “God yes.”

“Good. Continue.”

Jessie closed her eyes and nuzzled into the pillows as she absently eased her fingers down her neck to the swell of her breasts. “Then I’d go up and down very slowly on your shaft as I wrapped my other hand around the base and stroked you, pumping all the way up the length and meeting my hand. I’d grip roughly, allowing the friction to drive you insane. Do you like that?”

“
Mmmm… You have missed me.”

“You have no idea.” Flicking her finger back and forth across her nipple, the bud became hard in a flash and she moaned.

“You’re not pleasuring yourself are you?” Luke barely breathed.

“No!” Said too quickly, she heard him sigh and she jerked her hand away. “I’m just missing you so much.”

“Lift your legs for me so that they’re bent at the knees and then spread them as far open as you can.”

The command surprised her. God, he was testing her will. Jessie swallowed hard and obeyed. “Yes, Sir. They’re open.”

Chuckling, he said nothing for several seconds.

They had to be the longest seconds of her life. Shifting, she chewed on her bottom lip to keep from screaming into the phone. “Sir?”

“My forever impatient one. Now slip three fingers deep inside your sweet cunt, plunging them in and out for several seconds. Then hold them up into the light.”

“Yes, Sir.” Her blood pressure rising, she did as he requested and the feel of her fingers and the way her muscles gripped around the tight invasion forced a single gasp from her lips. “Shit!”

“Yes, are you wet for me? Are you so hungry for me you want nothing more than my mouth on your hot pussy, licking and sucking your clit?”

“God…yes, Sir. I want…I…” Unable to finish, she held her fingers into the light and had to fight not to lick them.

“Are they glistening for me, baby?”

Blinking furiously, she studied the slickness covering them. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good. Just the way I want you to be when I get home. That’s why I forbid you to pleasure yourself and you haven’t disobeyed me, have you?”

“No…I… No, Sir!” Jessie brought her fingers to her nose and sniffed. She was about as horny as she’d ever been. There was no doubt in her mind. This wasn’t good at all.

“Hmmm… I think we are going to have to work more on your level of obedience when I get home. It’s time to enter into a new phase of your punishment sessions. Are you ready for more? Can you handle the rougher aspects of discipline?”

The words certainly brought her back to reality. Rougher? This was something they’d talked about more than once and he knew she wanted to enter into some fairly heavy aspects of BDSM including almost brutal sex and punishment. He had been coaxing the darkest secrets from her for two months and now she knew what was happening. Luke was going to take her into new heights of pleasure and pain. “Yes, Sir. I am so ready.”
Actually she was trembling as desire raced through her.

“Why are you ready, Jezebel?”

“Because…” Why was she ready? There were so many reasons. Didn’t he know them? Didn’t she know them? Shit. Why? “Because I love you and trust you and I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. As I said, the woman inside needs to feel more than what she…what she has before. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

“No, that intrigues me. What else?”

“Well,” Jessie hesitated. “I find talking about this tough, but I want more. I want to try some kinky things. You know.”

“No, I don’t know. Tell me.”

Jesus, he was testing her. “I want to try…bondage and maybe electric play and…” Her voice trailed off. She heard such hesitation in his voice. “I know. I have no clue, but so much of me just wants you to take full control all the time.”

“You do know that’ll mean I take you and
train you however and whenever I want? You do realize some aspects might be considered savage?” Luke asked, but the words weren’t really a question.

“Yes, Sir. I do and I want that more than ever.”
Why did he make her shiver every time they talked? Hot and wet, she was barely able to concentrate. But she knew his words were imploring for a reason. They were crossing another line.

“
Mmm… I believe you. Now suck your fingers for me. Suck off your juices.”

Her lower lip quivering, she pushed her fingers into her mouth, savoring the almost tangy flavor. Thrusting them in and out of her mouth, she did everything she could to exaggerate the noise and in a few seconds heard him growling again, moaning into the phone.

“Very good. Now it’s time for you to go to bed and dream about the way I’m going to fuck you when I see you. When I arrive at the house I want rope and a belt placed on the kitchen island and you naked, standing in the corner and waiting for me. Do you understand?”

Removing her fingers, she had to lick her lips before she could speak.

“Jezebel!”

“Yes, Sir!” My God she was going over the edge with such damn need. This was nuts.

“Better. Now you need to go to sleep and I’ll be home in two nights. I’ll text you when I’m fifteen minutes away. Do you understand?”

“Oh… Yes, Sir.”

“Good. Goodnight, my sexy submissive. I love you.”

“I know that, Sir.” When Jessie hung up the phone she remained exactly as she was, her legs spread wide open and her need continuing to grow. She reached for her wine, almost knocking the damn glass off. Gulping several sips, she rocked back and forth and could barely breathe.
BDSM and increased training.
Now she was wet.

No matter how hard she tried, she could barely keep her hand out of her pussy. Luke had such an incredible effect on her. Sighing, she longed for him, wanted him, needed him and… Several tears slipped from her eyes and for a few minutes she was unable to move. Wiping them away furiously, she had to feel him, had to have him inside. What was wrong with her?

Polishing off the wine, she got up to blow out the candles. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the bag from the sex shop and snarled. And then she stamped her foot. Suddenly the need was too damn great. Just touching the vibrator would be okay. Right? That wasn’t being a bad girl, was it? Slipping her hand into the bag, she pulled out the first one her fingers wrapped around. Studying the dolphin, she smiled and licked her lips. Then she turned on the switch.

Chapter Five

Luke held the phone to his head after ending the call. Closing his eyes
, he tried to concentrate on the music, the way the tempo was a wild mixture of beating drums and heady guitar licks. The rather erotic song was wild, full of passion, and right now he was hot and horny, ready to devour the woman who was so engrained in his life. There were times he had difficulty separating his professional life with the one he shared with Jezebel. They were so completely different but also intertwined in several ways. He was a tough taskmaster in business and yet with her he couldn’t find any balance. He was all over the place with his emotions as well as his control of her.

Groaning, he walked back to the table of men, not necessarily surprised there were
now several women surrounding the table. From where he stood in the shadows, he could tell the luscious blond was meant as an indulgence for him, a perk perhaps. As he walked closer, he could see James’ eyes twinkling as they darted toward the girl. James had his arm wrapped around a stunning redhead, James’ hand absently rubbing up and down the side of her breast.

“Took you long enough. Thought you were going to miss the rather interesting show.” Nodding toward the small stage, James smiled as he tugged the woman into his chest, gr
inding his hips back and forth across her ass.

Luke licked his lips and grabbed his drink, giving the blond a simple acknowledgement. “Just another business call. I apologize.”

“No need. Come join us. They have the best entertainment in the club.” Leaning over, James raised his eyebrow. “By the way, this girl is a damn good submissive. She loves being tied and flogged. Thought you might enjoy indulging. I know you have a sub back home but….”

“
Mmm… You’re very kind.”

The blond moved closer,
as if sensing she was being offered to Luke. “Hi. I’m Mandy.”

“Luke,” he offered, giving her a weighed smile.

“That’s Sir Luke to you,” James stated.

“
Mmm… Yes,” Mandy inched closer.

“Luke is just fine. Being called Sir is ea
rned.” Looking away, Luke was cognizant of the fact the men at the table were surprised with his answer.

“Sir Luke seems to suit you,” Mandy mused.

Luke remained quiet as performers donned the small stage.

“You’re going to like this.” James snuffed. “Damn erotic.”

Erotic wasn’t the term for what was happening on stage. Luke remained quiet as he watched, Mandy crowding his space. What the entertaining couple was doing was nothing more than a strip show, compete with body groping, and he was growing more and more disgusted.

“Wait until you see what happens later,” James offered as he cupped the redhead’s breasts, lowering his head and biting down on her neck.

Luke was already weary of the club and all the offers being given to him. He polished off his drink and was already trying to figure out a way to leave without appearing ungrateful. The gig in the joint just wasn’t him any longer. Then again, he’d never been one to prowl bars looking for women for anything.

“How can I please you tonight?” Mandy turned to face him, placing both her hands on his thighs. The look on her face was one of a practiced submissive and the offer was
very pointed.

He knew without a doubt he could ask her to drop to her knees right here and she would without any hesitation.

Giving him a heated look, Mandy slipped her hand down Luke’s chest to his groin, flicking her index finger back and forth across the growing bulge in his pants. “I’ll do anything you’d like. I know you must like a woman to suck your cock.”

“Enjoy, my man. She’s clean. They’re all clean here. They test every one of the girls, and the boys if you’re into that kind of thing, on a regular basis. You don’t have to worry about anything. Take what you want. My treat,” James grinned as he slipped his hand into the bodice of the redhead’s dress, grunting in time to the music.

Mandy tipped her head, a seductive smile crossing her face. She gripped Luke’s crotch, stroking up and down as she pursed her lips. “Anything you want.”

His heart was beating rapidly and while the girl was beautiful and the offer tempting, Luke had no intentions of being with another woman. Whether or not he wo
uld introduce a third into his and Jessie’s life at some point remained to be seen, but he wasn’t going to betray the woman he loved in any method. Wrapping his hand around Mandy’s, he pried away her fingers as gently as possible. Lowering his head, he kissed her cheek and whispered, “You’re beautiful and the offer is more than enticing, but I have another. I hope you understand.” When he pulled way he could see she was pouting, unused to men turning her down.

“Pity
.”

Luke turned toward James. “Unfortunately the call I had to make necessitates I have to leave. I so apologize but there’s a situation I must handle.”

James narrowed his eyes, looking up and down Luke’s face before nodding. “I got ya. You’re a workaholic but I do understand. Final preparations tomorrow and we’re home free.”

“Looking forward to it.” Luke said his goodbyes and left the club without looking back. As soon as he was outside, he could swear he heard
Suzzana’s throaty laugh floating around him. Turning to walk back to his hotel, he did everything he could to push away the memories. Somehow as he walked up the crowded sidewalk, the sights and sounds of the vibrant city wafting past, he succumbed to heartache and tears began to fall.

****

Jessie sighed as she finished her coffee, fingering the notebook as she thought about the powerful dream. She’d always dreamed in color and this time, the night’s visions had been filled with a heightened level of graphic sensuality, one she hadn’t anticipated. While she’d always had dreams about Luke, especially when he was gone, last night was so enigmatic she’d awakened with perspiration covering every inch of her over heated body.

For a few seconds she remained motionless. Why she was having these…odd feelings was beyond her. Something was off. Something was not the way it should be. She slapped her hand on top of the counter. “Stop over analyzing.”

Sighing, she pressed the tip of her finger across her mouth as she thought about how hard she’d climaxed, merely thinking about his sexy smile and they way he held her, kissed her. “Damn it!” Why did she blatantly disobey him? Snorting, she took another sip of coffee and knew why, or at least it was a convenient excuse. Tabitha.
Yeah, blame it on your girlfriend.
Certainly Luke would understand that, right? Ha! No, he’d be disappointed. The word alone sent shivers coursing through her body. Had the old Jessie returned because of one lunch out with a gal pal?

Granted, Tabitha’s pushy mannerisms usually brought Jessie back into what she liked to call or hoped was her “old” personality -- balls to the walls. But did she actually allow the girl’s influence to cause her to go against Luke’s wishes? Ridiculous
, and she was furious with herself. There was no doubt she was going to have to confess. She closed her eyes and wiggled in her seat thinking about him, her pussy wet and clenching. If she had to admit the honest truth to herself, she was simply missing him like crazy. The conversation she and Luke shared the night before was not only heated, but was flat out the hottest phone sex she’d ever had in her life. “Whew.” Hell, she’d turned out the lights, slipped under the covers and had almost been asleep when the damn sex toy called to her like a beacon of wanton lust.

Fanning her face, she couldn’t remember another time so freaking hot in her life. Had he been testing her? Well, if he had been she’d failed miserably. She’d grabbed the rubber toy and swirled the tip around her clit in seconds and that was it. Thrusting in and out wasn’t nearly as good as the way Luke filled her, made love to her, but the rubber piece did okay in a pinch. Now what? Finishing her coffee, Jessie pushed the cup aside and was determined to put her thoughts about him and the dream – the amazing dream – onto paper. Maybe, just maybe he’d forgive her.

I dream in color and your face fills my every night, my fantasies

I couldn’t help but miss you last night -- your smile, your face and the way you touch me

Your voice alone gives me shivers, reminding me how much I belong to you

When I fell asleep hugging my pillow, I had tears in my eyes, my longing tearing me apart and yet the dream was so sweet

Devotion – the one aspect of what we are so close to achieving you and I

And last night I found my final passage…

A moment shared

A caress noted

A hunger sated

In my very soul – you, only you can give me what I need, what I have to have

You are my heart, the man I love, and the man I will do everything for

You are my Sir

And so my dream reminded me how much I want to please you, satisfy you and honor you

Every touch, every taste, every moment we share are utterly amazing, breathtaking.

You honor me with acceptance and shower me with love

You give me all of your heart and your soul

Your kind hand disciplines me, guides me

Nurtures the real woman hiding behind the mask

I will stop at nothing to remind you every day of my love, my devotion

I will continue down our path, our journey until I give you everything you require

I will find new ways to show you, give you all of me

I will love you unconditionally

I will succumb

I will be

I will…

Jessie patted the page. The words were her gift to him, her pledge. And so she’d failed already in her need to find the perfect way to show him complete devotion. Dropping her head, tears slipped from her eyes. Fear remained and she struggled with the reasons why. Everything about their life together, their journey, was being challenged and for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why.
What secrets are you hiding?

****

The business concluded with complete satisfaction in Luke’s mind with the contract being ironclad and two new prospects that were going to be flying to see him within a couple of weeks. Everything was a solid go and he was ready to leave for home. Home. What an incredible word. He was missing being away much more than he ever used to. The very thought of having to leave the woman he loved was not something he wanted to think about, at least not for awhile.

He held the plane tickets in his hand, the gift of one glorious trip, and couldn’t wait to see Jessie’s face. She’d been almost begging him for some time away from everything, including nagging phone calls and emails, and he knew without a doubt they both needed this very much. He’d selected carefully, the destination not just a resort hotel in the gorgeous islands, but one catering to couples in the midst of sharing BDSM or simple D/s. There were very special reasons he’d selected the highly exclusive club, one he knew would provide a dazzling experience. One he knew would bring them to some ultimate truths.

Inhaling deeply
, he slipped the tickets into his briefcase and finished packing his things, folding even his dirty shirts and pants carefully. As a glimmer of sun shimmered through the window, he smiled, albeit his heart remained heavy. The morning had always been his favorite time of day. He walked toward the window, placing the flat of his hand on the glass. The subtle warmth still managed to give him a series of shivers. He couldn’t get Suzzana out of his mind and for the life of him he had been avoiding all the why’s.

Luke glanced at his watch. He had at least two hours before he had to leave for the airport. Maybe there was enough time to… His heart suddenly racing, he dropped his head, panting. Everything happening in his life right now was cathartic. He was in Chicago, the very location he’d met
Suzzana. He was being challenged by Jessie to be the Dom the both knew she needed, and his nightmares were getting worse. Two hours had to be enough.

He grabbed his room key and jacket and headed out the door. The elevator ride seemed to take far to
o long in his mind. When the doors finally opened, he realized he was out of breath. The lobby seemed to be more crowded than ever and with each step toward the bank of doors, he seemed to be having more difficulty. When he was finally outside, breathing in the morning air, he took a minute to himself before walking toward the Concierge. He swallowed bile and his cold breath as he waited for his turn.

“Yes, sir. What can I do for you?”

“A cab?” Luke asked.

The Concierge nodded. “Happy to hail one for you. And where is your destination, sir?”

He wrinkled his nose, so any things racing in his mind. God, he was shivering.

“Sir?”

Luke continued to hesitate as a single glimmer of bright sun managed to make its way around the edge of the building and directly into his eyes. “Windsor Park Cemetery.”