On Black Wings (20 page)

I need to put some trust in others.

But what about me? I still open that book and release the Four Horsemen. But how? Why? When? He said it hasn’t happened yet, but at some time in the past I went to the Throne of God and opened that book, releasing them into the world. It’s my fault, but I have no idea of why I would want to release them.

Perhaps I can’t give these wings up?

Perhaps I can’t trust myself.

I close my eyes, and feel a tear roll down my cheek. When the moment comes to give up these wings, maybe I refuse. I could just open the book knowing the only way I can keep eternal life and youth is to set free those who would destroy the world. I can’t imagine myself being that selfish, but I never really knew myself when I was growing up.

I was just a stupid girl who married early to get out of the house. I only cared about myself, my needs, my wishes, never anyone else’s. Even Brad knew it, he knew my true nature, I never really loved my kids, and I used my family to get what I wanted. I was so selfish.

I probably haven’t changed. I’m the one who will make us fail, I just know it.

Perhaps I am a monster after all.

I keep my eyes closed through the knock on the door. “Miss White? We are ready when you are Miss White.”

CHAPTER XXX:

My Mind Isn’t Ready

I walk down the hall, escorted by two security men and a staffer. In rooms, people are calling loved ones, saying goodbyes and telling people they loved them. I don’t know if they understand what is happening, but I guess in a way they were told ‘this is it’ for their world so the natural human instincts take over.

It’s not like you’re all going away, just this version of you. I don’t have time to explain, so I stay silent, letting people say their teary goodbyes and having that small satisfaction and moment of peace.

I’m taken through a normal airline seating area, where the White House reporters are gathered, some of them talking on secure phones, and others stunned when they see my wings. Some ask me who I am, and what’s with the wings? Others snap pictures, and some reach out to touch them as I pass. The ruckus follows me, and security people block them from following.

“Miss!” One of the reporters shouts. “Who are you?”

I look back. “Angel of Death. I’m here to save the world.”

The shouts and ruckus fade away as the security men seal the reports off, and I walk down the back hall alone.

I arrive in a galley with the table pulled to the side, a big enough place to assemble a team of men. The group Becks assembled is smaller, just him, his sergeant Harris, and two of the President’s security team, plus another man I don’t immediately recognize until he turns around.

“Azrael?”

He’s wearing all black, like myself, clean shaven with his dark-skin shining in the fluorescent light. He’s wearing commando fatigues with criss-crossing belts, and he’s putting a long military knife into a sheath on his chest.

“Seraph Jessica, it is good to see you.” He smiles. I can tell he’s in pain, but he seems a bit more spirited and full of life. “They did not have a sword aboard, so I took a knife instead. We should have swords.”

“You take what you can get,” I say, smiling back. Colonel Becks hands me an assault rifle, and I check the safety and magazine. “These work better. At least for me. Want to try one?”

He shakes his head no, and pats me on the shoulder as he walks by. A staffer helps me with my pouch belt, and I begin loading it up with ammunition. The President is sitting in the galley and watching us prepare.

“I wish I could go with you,” the President says with a smile, “but my people won’t let me leave in case this mission fails.”

Colonel Becks laughs. “It’s the only mission I can think of where success means destroying our world, and failure means saving it. At least the one we’re on. It’s been good serving and meeting you, Mister President, at least in this lifetime.”

“Maybe in another life we’ll meet.” The President smiles. “Our kids will get to play with each other, and we’ll get to reminisce about what we did here this day.”

“I’m certain you will.” Azrael nods. “Maybe not in this life, but we all shall meet again. Seraph Jessica, are you ready?”

“Just give me a time and I’ll try to get us where we need to go.”

Carson steps up with a calendar on a tablet computer. “You need to go back three days before the event. Where were you three days before all this happened?”

Three days. I have three days. The businessman, the old man in black. He warned me I had three days, but I was thinking forward not backwards. Could he be helping us?

“Miss White.” Carson puts the tablet in front of me. “Three days, where were you-”

“I got it, I got it,” I say, “I’m thinking. Give me a moment.”

“The world ended on a Friday, so that would be the Tuesday before all this. The kids were out, it was a school holiday for PTA, so we got up early and made plans. We didn’t get out of the house until late, but we went to the mall, the toy store, had a nice dinner and saw a movie that night. Dinosaur Burger 3D, I think.”

The President laughs. “How was it? I wanted to take the family to see that one.”

“It sucked.” I sling my rifle.

Becks looks over at me. “Do you have transportation, or will we need to secure it on-site?”

“I think we took the SUV, but the minivan should still be there. Brad’s keys should be in the house.”

“Don’t worry about keys,” Becks says, “we have our ways.”

Carson shakes his head. “No can do, secure on-site, if that minivan is reported stolen by the older Miss White, you will never reach the target within the launch window. You will have to drive a while to get there, so factoring travel time-”

“We got it,” Becks says, “we will figure something out. Leave the driving to us. It’s just us six, two security guys, Jess, Azrael, Harris, and myself. I would have liked four-”

“Overruled,” the President says, “you will need Tanner and Briscoe, they know the unlocks for the missile defense system. We briefed sergeant Harris on NSA cover protocol, and he will keep ELINT off of you, as well as be the team’s medic. I want two men who know the system with you, and the NSA cover is essential once you get within 10 miles of the base.”

“Yes sir,” Becks says with a half-salute, “no cell phones, anyone, or electronics of any kind besides mission-critical. Jess, you have a phone?”

“Once.” I shake my head. “I don’t know how long ago, I lost it I’ve been so many places. I think it’s still in my shorts in the cave with the skeleton. It was underwater though, so it’s probably fried.”

“I can promise you the government will not be able to replace that phone,” the President says with a laugh, “or redress any of your losses, financial burdens, or other concerns. Yours is a one-way trip, my friends.”

He gets up and hugs every one of us. “Tanner, Briscoe, you are good men. Harris, I will get in touch with your parents. Azrael, our world owes you a debt of gratitude, and I am going to miss talking with you and hearing all the answers to things many in the world have been wondering about for generations. Thank you, my friend.

Colonel Becks. Anderson. My God, I never expected to be thanking you. You have turned a civil defense emergency and investigation into strange sightings into a mission with the fate of the world in your hands. You saved an angel. You brought these two to me, and you are now undertaking a mission to save our world. America may not remember you, but I will until my final breath.

And Jessica. You told me it was a prayer that brought you to this moment, but I want you to know that I think your prayers have been heard, and that is why we are together right now. You are a brave young lady, and in another life, a wonderful mother as well. You have the advantage of having lived two lives, and I want you to understand I know you can do this.

Of everyone, you have suffered the most, and for many times you didn’t even know why, but this is your path, and I know when the time comes you will find out why you opened that book and you will do the right thing when the moment comes. I know it must be hard to take, and none of us will understand why you will do the one thing you say you will never do, but I want you to remember this. You know in your heart what is right, and I trust you will follow your heart. I have faith in you.”

“Thank you, Mister President.”

We assemble in the center of the galley, and one of the staffers takes a picture of us all. Azrael closes his eyes and stands beside me, focusing himself. I wrap my wings around the five of them, and myself. The President salutes us, and Colonel Becks salutes back. I raise my hand to salute him, but he puts his hand over his heart and looks in my eyes.

I nod once, and we are gone.

CHAPTER XXXI:

I Am Home Again

I have a feeling this will be the last time.

I wanted to be in the garage, but we’re not. We are in the upstairs bedroom. My clothes. My bed. That old, ratty, pink number seventeen shirt on top of the sheets.

“Oh-” Becks puts a hand over my mouth, and the three men with us move silently. We sneak beside the upstairs door, and Becks peers out.

“Clear!”

A group of armed men is walking through my house, and I let them in. Azrael walks behind me, looking around my room, and I’m instantly uncomfortable at all the strangers in my house. We sneak down the stairs, and I hear, oh my God, I hear the kids laughing and playing.

I’m at the bottom of the stairs, and the team is working their way to the front door. I look out of the patio doors, and I’m there. I’m sitting on the lawn, playing with the kids, with Bread at the grill cooking up lunch for us all.

It’s the same patio door the horse stared at me through, the same one I had so much trouble going out of. I left my home through that door on the journey I’m now on.

I want to say hello. I want to tell them to stay out of the sun on Friday, to warn them...but I can’t. I won’t need to. Just keep on going and living your lives, and you too Jessica, hopefully after all this is done you will never meet me, never need to know me, and it will be me the only one with memories of that painful day.

For however long I last past when things change.

I will gladly sacrifice myself so you can go on living these moments of happiness together for as long as you all live, and I hope that is a very, very long and happy time.

Brad makes a funny face and laughs at myself, and the kids join in.

And Brad, I came back for you.

“Move,” Colonel Becks whispers to me, pulling me out of sight of them and into the kitchen. He hands me a pen. “Leave a note on the fridge saying your sister is borrowing the minivan.”

“It’s won’t work.” I start writing. “I will check with her. It won’t last long.”

“We don’t need it to. We will drop it off at a mall or somewhere where we can pick up another car at a used place. We have cash.”

In moments, we are pulling out of my garage, and we are driving out of a neighborhood I loved. I’m leaving home again. And I feel this will be the last time.

Leaving home hurts. We drive out of the city, familiar places going by, and familiar sights. I know this freeway like the back of my hand, crazy drivers, traffic jams, getting out of the valley to head up to the reservoir. It all passes by, place by place, and not much of it means anything anymore to me.

I have changed.

We drive and drive and drive. We stop for gas and only Becks gets out. I watch people gassing up, going about their lives, and cars passing by without a clue of what is going to happen, or what we are going to do.

To them, it’s just another day.

Campers and truckers, people getting off at local exits and those driving through. The day drags on, and I rest my head against the window watching the sun fall low in the sky.

I see the first stars of evening, and I wonder which one of them is the space rock coming to kill everyone I know. Soon, twilight fades to black and it’s dark on the road.

The SUV Becks bought is a piece of junk that smells like cigarettes, but it will do the job. I am in the far back, my wings in the cargo area covered by an old blanket. Azrael sits next to me, fascinated by freeway travel, the lights of cities we pass through, and everything along the way. Bags full of fast food garbage are around our feet, and under that, our weapons under the seats, concealed under blankets, and hidden from view in case we are stopped.

When we leave the state, we only stop to go to the bathroom, and we don’t stop at any place nice. I’ve had to go off the side of the road several times, as we can’t risk anyone seeing my wings. It feels like we have been driving forever. It’s an endless trip, and I feel like I am a kid again, my parents in the front seat taking us on a road trip to somewhere far away.

“What is that?” Azrael asks, pointing to a passing billboard.

“A casino,” I say, smiling, “in Las Vegas. City of Sin. I wish I could take you some day.”

He looks at me. “What makes you think this angel would like in a city full of sin?”

“We’re fallen angels, remember?” I bump his shoulder. “Besides, freaks like us would fit right in there. Wings and all.”

“It is the apple and the garden all over again,” he says, shifting back in the seat, “and God’s creations are beautifully flawed, sometimes to their own detriment. You chase sin as if it were salvation itself.”

“I don’t think he knew what he was getting when he made us.” I laugh. “Ever been to Sodom?”

He laughs to himself and shakes his head. “You don’t want to go there, believe me.”

“I suppose it’s like Sodom,” I say, shifting in my seat, “but made to take every last penny from you before you leave, and make you feel good about it.”

He looks over at me and smiles. “Then that sounds like Sodom.”

Somewhere behind us the sun is coming up. According to Becks, it has to be today. We have seven hours to launch the missile and stop a tiny obelisk floating through space from killing a billion people on this world.

“One traffic jam and a billion people die.” I say, just out loud and for no reason.