On Heartbreak Ridge: Movie Trilogy Prequel Novella (The Movie Trilogy) (11 page)

“
Not to me. Nothing is ever going to be perfect again. My heart won’t stop breaking. I waited. I waited and waited. Time heals all wounds, blah blah blah, that’s
bull
shit!
Fucking bullshit!
” I raged, all of the fury that I’d buried deep within my heart settling on the surface and corroding my throat with thick tears. “I don’t want to heal! I want to forget!”

“Don’t scream at me,” he hissed, shaking his head. “Don’t you
dare
scream at me like that. I’ve been nothing but patient. I’ve waited. I’ve given you time, and love, and taken care of everything, every horribly
difficult
thing since he died. You stayed up here hiding while I arranged for the funeral. You refused to see anyone who came here to pay their respects to us. You made me deal with it all by
myself
. You need to
grow up
, Vivian! Never once did our age difference become so apparent until now, until you just stood here stomping your
fucking
foot on the ground, screaming at me because our son
looked like me!
”

I had no air to breathe.

He’d never raised his voice to me, or said such unbearably cruel things to me before.

Tears, uncontrollable and unwanted, streamed down my face in agony. “
You’re right. You’re right,” I sobbed, scraping at the dampness on my face. “Come on Matthew, make love to me right now. Let’s make another perfect baby, just like Rory. Come on,” I urged, my words dripping with sarcasm. I threw my arms around him, rising to my tiptoes to force my mouth to his. “Come on, touch me.
Kiss me
. Tell me everything will be perfect, that we’ll have a house with a white
fucking
picket fence,” I growled between kisses. “Fuck me hard, right now,
make me a baby-
”

He groaned, his tongue sweeping over mine as he lifted me up and against him. I tore at his shirt,
ripping it away from his muscular arms as my fingernails scratched his bare chest.

“Stop.
Stop
,” he snarled, shoving me away from him. “You’re
suffering
, and you’re taking it out on me. I’m hurting too,
why can’t you see that?
”

I stood there, desperate and crying and panting from our kiss
, turning back to the closet.

“
I’m leaving. I’m sorry I put you through all of that alone. You’re free now, Matthew.”

“
Vivian
.”

I ignored him, shoving as much clothing as I could into
my suitcase. Half of the closet was filled with maternity clothes, and I pushed them aside, searching for my small tank tops and shorts.

I made it down the stairs to the door, and he followed, continuing to call my name. “
Stop
. Please don’t drive away like this. Let’s talk this out, okay?”

Bursting through the front door, I jerked my trunk open, slamming my suitcase inside. I had no idea
if my old Pontiac would make it to Gram’s or not, but that was where I was headed. Her house in Pennsylvania was about three and a half hours away, and it was the only place I could think of to go.

Rain cascaded in sheets from the sky, and a clap of thunder startled us both.

“Vivian, please don’t leave. Don’t go,
not like this,
” he half begged, half ordered, standing across from me in the driveway.

The simple, white sundress that I wore was completely soaked.
My hair was plastered to my skin. I gasped a sob, running to him.

He caught me in his arms, lifting me completely off the ground. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding on to the remnants of what we’d shared, of the love we’d had.

His kiss drowned me in the rain, smothering me, stealing the last essential beats of my breaking heart. His bare chest pressed against my skin, and I cried out, struggling until he let me free again. He lowered me to my feet.

“
I have to go,
” I whispered, aching. “Away from this, away from it all.
Please just give me time
,” I begged, backing toward the car, my lips tingling and swollen from the force of his kiss.

He pulle
d his glasses away, brushing his hand over his face to watch me go.

“I’m waiting for you, beauty. I’m waiting, no matter how long it takes.
I love you.
I will never stop loving you.”

“
Stop loving me,
” I cried brokenly, shaking my head. “Don’t wait. I’m not worth waiting for.”

Before he could say another word, I fell into the car, backing out of the driveway and pulling away.

. . .

Gram’s porch was the length of her house, completely enclosed by waist-high brick walls and screens. I’d cried for most of the way there, not answering my phone when Matthew called five times.

At the sixth ring, I replied with a quick text.

Me: I’m here. I’m safe. Please don’t call me or text me.

Before I could make it all the way to Gram’s door, his reply lit up my phone.

Matthew: Thank you for letting me know. I was worried. I love you.

Gram must have seen the lights from my car
; she met me at the front door in her soft bathrobe, her blue eyes mirroring my own sadness.

“
There’s my beautiful girl. Come here.”

That was all I needed to hear. I stepped into Gram’s kitchen, bending over to hug her. She was several inches shorter than me, and even smaller than I r
emembered.

Her arms were strong
as she held me.

I broke into fresh tears, sinking slowly to the kitchen chair. She pulled a chair next to mine, smoothing my hair away from my face and pressing tissues into my hand.

Gram always had tissues. The best kind, too, with aloe, and in lovely shades of lavender and pink.

“
I wonder, sometimes, if when God gave us our hearts, he knew how badly they were capable of breaking.”

I could barely hear her quiet words through my tears.

She pulled me close to rest my head on her shoulder.

“Why is this happening to me?” I begged, focused on the sparkling diamond that my grandfather had slipped onto her finger, nearly sixty years ago. When he’d passed away, I was only ten, but I remembered the way my Gram stood strong and kept herself together.

Unlike me.

“If life doesn’t happen to you, Vivie, then it’s no life to lead. Never forget that.
There will be moments that make you want to live again.
Just you wait.”

I gripped her hand, continuing to cry softly in her arms.

K

The trailer was lit up against the evening sky, and I cringed at the tacky Valley Video sign on the window. I watched some gigantic hillbilly exit the trailer, cringing as he palmed his dick and adjusted his balls for half an hour.

“Jesus. What a fucking dump.” I gave a slow whistle, glancing at the only other car in the parking lot
besides the Sasquatch’s pickup.

A Cadillac, late nineties model.

I assumed it was Robin’s. She was probably too proud to drive the Ferrari that Grandpa had left to
me
.

Making my way up the stairs, I pushed the door open.

It took me a solid second to register the scene before me.

A girl
sat up on the countertop, surrounded by mountains of DVD cases and candy. Her hair was gathered in a high ponytail, and the thin strap of her tank top kept sliding down her snowy white shoulder.

She swung her legs, the longest fucking legs I’d ever seen. I swear to god, they started at her waist and never stopped. Jean shorts, cut off above the pockets, may as well have been bikini bottoms.

Jesus. Christ.

Her
perky little chest bounced as she giggled at the TV. Her lips surrounded a ruby red lollipop, her tongue twirling over the candy as she peered closely at the screen.

She was watching porn.

Not a love scene- let me make that clear. She was watching straight up, poorly choreographed and horribly acted
porn
.

She couldn’t be more than eighteen or nineteen years old.

“Um…”

I had no idea how to get her attention without startling the shit out of her. She spun around, dropping the remote to the ground. Batteries clattered under the counter in two different directions.

Holy hell.

H
er startled gaze lifted to mine, and my chest tightened unexpectedly.

She was fucking beautiful.

Wide, sapphire blue eyes glistened like stars in the rain; I wasn’t sure if she was about to start crying, or if her eyes always sparkled like that.

When I realized that she was completely mortified, I couldn’t help but
screw with her- a little.

“Please, carry on,” I insisted, gesturing to the old TV/DVD combo.

“I’m checking for damage,” she mumbled, her shaking voice almost drawing a hint of sympathy from me. She tossed the lollipop in the trashcan, and I tried my hardest not to burst out laughing as the porn star on the screen broke into a series of falsetto cries.

The woman
shrieked like a car alarm as a guy dressed as a ghost fucked her from behind.

I leaned my
whole body to the right to glance past the girl, looking at the TV screen and grinning. “I think the damage… has been done.”

Her entire expression softened. Long, dark lashes framed those amazing eyes, and she gave me a lazy smirk. “A customer complained that the disc was scratched,” she protested evenly.

“Don’t let me stop you from doing your job,” I teased.

She was fucking adorable. I settled on nineteen, trying to remember that me and my morals had just been reunited. Seducing this small-town princess would be a one-way ticket to a place I’d already been and was trying not to return to.

But fucking hell, she was a princess if I ever saw one. Perfect cheekbones, soft lips, wide eyes. Curves that didn’t belong on her young body, but were there nonetheless.

Oh, they were there.

“Are you Robin’s brother?” she asked tentatively, and it was then I realized that she was obviously an employee.

I was a little surprised that Robin was actually
making enough money to hire an employee, but there was no other reason for this girl to be standing behind the counter.

She was about 5’5”, and a stain had begun on the milky white skin of her neck and crept up to her cheeks. Something about her reminded me of Snow White, the Disney princess with dark hair and big eyes.

Comparing her to a cartoon princess, based on what was going on in my pants, seemed almost sacrilegious.

“
This is standard procedure, then? This used to be a family-friendly place,” I teased, maybe a little more forcefully than I’d intended.

She blushed, swallowing hard and lowering her eyes. “No one comes in here this late anymore on a weekday… unless they want porn.”

Holy shit.

Just
hearing
her say the word porn was slightly better than
actual
porn. My eyes darted to the candy at her side, focusing on the row of suckers. “Maybe I just came for a Blow Pop.”

Holy hell, that fucking impetuous eyebrow of hers arched, and so did my dick. “Fifty cents.”

She belonged on the screen. Every small movement was bigger than life; she was animated with each sound and gesture that she made.

Either
that, or I was completely in over my head.

“Really? Don’t I get the family discount?”

She leaned slightly forward, and my gaze skipped right to her chest.

“Everything has a price.”

Heat
. From my cock to my chin, spreading like wildfire. I wanted to lift her up on the glass counter and fuck the smirk right off of her face.

She didn’t come off as bitchy or haughty like Kelsey. Instead, she gave me the distinct impression that she’d never flirted with anyone else in her entire life.

That I was it.

Pure.
Virginal
.

I felt like
a fucking wolf.

Grinning, I glanced at the paperback on the counter next to her, and heard a low moan escape from her throat.
A chick with giant boobs was sprawled across the cover, and a man covered both of her tits with his hands, his mouth trailing along her bare neck.

I considered for a moment that
maybe, just maybe, this girl had some kind of sexual addiction.

Awesome.