On Her Own (25 page)

“Jah, well, I don’t much like the idea of anyone pushing and shoving on my spine.” Pop shifted on the pillow and groaned. “I have to wonder if I’ll ever get back to working in the fields.”

Paul felt as if a heavy weight rested on his chest. The thought of giving up work in the harness shop to farm made his heart ache. When he’d left Missouri to learn the harness business, he’d never expected to move home again, much less return to farming.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’ve been thinking on the things we talked about yesterday and doing some praying, too.”

Pop turned his head and looked directly at Paul. “Jah?”

Paul swallowed hard. He hated to upset Pop when he was hurting, but the things that weighed heavily on his mind couldn’t wait forever. There was no use getting his father’s hopes built up over something that wasn’t going to happen.

“I know you’re not able to work right now, and I said I’d help in the fields until you’re better, but—”

Pop narrowed his eyes. “Are you backing out of our agreement?”

Paul shook his head. “I’ll help Monroe and Elam until we get caught up and the harvest is in. But after that, I’ll be returning to Pennsylvania. I’ve been gone a lot longer than I’d planned, and if I don’t go soon, there might not be a job waiting for me at Andy’s shop.”

“What about Barbara Zook?”

“What about her?”

“I thought you were needed to help in her harness shop.”

“I was. But her daed’s doing some better, and she’s back at work full-time, so she doesn’t really need me anymore.”
But I would stay if she asked me to
, Paul thought.
I’d proclaim my love for her and stay on as her husband if there was any indication that she loved me and would agree to become my wife
.

Pop blew out his breath. “So you’re saying you’ll hang around until the harvest is done; then you plan to head back to Pennsylvania?”

“That’s right.”

“And nothing I can say will change your mind?”

Paul shook his head. “I enjoy working with leather and never have cottoned to farmwork.”

“How well I know that,” Pop agreed with a nod. “Even when you were a boy, you complained about all the dust and long hours in the fields.”

“You understand the way I feel, then?”

“I recognize your desire to do what makes you happy, and after some thinking and praying of my own, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not fair of me to try and force you to stay.” Pop swallowed a couple of times. “If I’m not able to return to farming because of my back, then I’ll hire someone to help your brothers in the fields.”

Paul clasped his dad’s hand as a sense of gratitude welled in his soul. The change in Pop’s attitude was a miracle. An answer to prayer, that’s what it was. “Danki,” he murmured. “I appreciate that.”

“You’ll be missed when you leave Webster County,” Pop added.

Paul nodded. “I’ll miss you all, too.”

Barbara stared out the shop window, watching Aaron and Joseph head toward the one-room schoolhouse down the road. Today was the first day back to school after summer break and Joseph’s first time to attend.

“Are you worried about the boys?” her father asked as he stepped up behind her.

Barbara turned. “Just Joseph. He’s so young. I hope he does okay and doesn’t give Ruthie Yoder a hard time.” She sighed. “I wish Sarah still taught school here. He might feel more secure having his aunt as his teacher.”

“I hear tell Ruthie’s done a fine job of taking over for my daughter. I’m sure Joseph will do all right.” Dad chuckled. “I remember when I attended school for the first time. I didn’t like first grade and didn’t care much for my teacher, but I sure enjoyed playing on the teeter-totter out behind the schoolhouse during recess.”

Barbara smiled. Dad was probably right; Joseph would do okay. He was an easygoing, obedient child and should get along fine with the teacher as well as with the other scholars. Aaron, however, could be a real handful at times.

He’s stubborn, just like his father
, she mused.
But I’m sure he’ll manage okay on this first day. Leastways, I pray it’s so
.

“Sure seems different around here without Paul Hilty, don’t you think?”

Barbara nodded. She hated to admit it, but she missed Paul coming to work every day. She missed his friendly banter,
sparkling blue eyes, and lopsided grin. He’d been a big help and knew a lot about running a harness shop, even if they didn’t see eye to eye on everything. Paul must be working hard at his father’s farm. She’d thought about inviting him to join them for supper one night after work but had set that idea aside, fearful he might get the impression she was interested in him. She was, of course, but didn’t want him to know that since he hadn’t revealed any feelings for her other than friendship.

And then there’s Aaron
, she thought as she turned away from the window.
He finally seems to be adjusting to his daed’s death. But if Paul starts coming around when it’s got nothing to do with work, Aaron might become upset again
.

Barbara wasn’t sure why, but Aaron seemed to consider Paul a threat. The other children liked the man real well. In Joseph’s case, maybe a little too much. The last Sunday they’d had church, the boy had hung around Paul all afternoon. Barbara had noticed him clinging to Paul’s hand and enjoying the piggyback rides Paul had graciously given to both Joseph and Zachary.

Paul will make a good daed someday. But I’m afraid it’s not going to be my boys he’ll be fathering
.

Barbara grabbed some leather and dropped it into the washtub filled with dye. “I guess it’s time to get something constructive done.”

“Jah,” Dad agreed. “Sure won’t happen on its own, no matter how much I might wish it could.”

Barbara’s conscience pricked her heart. She knew the harness business wasn’t Dad’s true calling. Fact was, he’d much rather be tending his garden or relaxing on the porch than helping her keep the place running. But with Paul gone off to help his
brothers, Barbara couldn’t make it on her own without Dad’s help. So she would take one day at a time, thanking the Lord for each hour that her father felt well enough to lend a hand. She tried not to think about the day when he could no longer hold a piece of leather in his hands. How would she manage? Aaron would help during his breaks from school, but to be on her own all the time would be nearly impossible.

Maybe I do need to give the bishop’s offer of marriage more thought. I’d better pray harder about this
, she decided.

“Are you sure you don’t mind me quitting work early today?” Barbara’s father asked as he headed toward the shop door.

She shook her head. “I don’t mind at all. I know your fingers have been aching all day, and I think you might feel better if you go home and soak your hands in some Epsom salts.”

“I believe you’re right.” He had just reached the door when he turned back around. “Don’t you work too late now, you hear?”

“I won’t. It’ll be time to feed Davey soon, so I’ll be closing shop and coming up to the house before you know it.”

“Okay.” Dad stepped outside and closed the door.

Barbara had just sat down when the shop door opened. Bishop John stepped into the room. Her heart thudded in her chest. Was he here to get an answer to his proposal? Was she prepared to give him one?

Maybe I should marry him and sell the harness shop. Maybe Paul would buy it if he knew he wouldn’t have to put up with me working
here, telling him what to do
.

“You’re looking well, Barbara. How are things going now that you’re back working full-time?” the bishop asked.

She smiled. “I’m pretty tired by the end of the day, but with my daed’s help, I’m managing okay.”

He shifted from one foot to the other and cleared his throat a couple of times. “Ahem. I was wondering—”

“Are you needing an answer to your marriage proposal? Is that why you’ve come by?”

“Uh. . .no. . .not exactly.”

“You’re here on harness business, then?”

He shook his head.

“What is the reason for your visit?”

“I’ve. . .uh. . .just come from seeing Margaret Hilty.”

“Oh. How’s she getting along?”

He smiled, and his eyes lit up like fireflies doing their summer dance. “She’s doing real well, and so am I.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

He leaned forward, resting the palms of his hands on her desk. “The thing is. . .I. . .uh. . .would like to ask Margaret to marry me. And I. . .uh. . .need to know if you’re okay with that.”

Barbara stared up at John. He wanted to ask Margaret to marry him, and he needed Barbara’s approval? That made no sense at all. Besides, Margaret hadn’t been widowed a year yet, and as far as Barbara knew, there was nothing going on between John and Margaret in a romantic way.

“I don’t understand,” she mumbled. “I thought you wanted to marry me.”

“Well, I—I did,” he stammered. “But it wasn’t because I was in love with you.” His face turned as red as a ripe tomato. “What I mean to say is, I care about your welfare.”

“I appreciate that.”

“And after your boppli was born and you seemed so tired, I didn’t know if you’d be able to keep running the harness shop.”

Barbara felt more confused than ever. “What exactly are you saying, Bishop John?”

The color in his cheeks deepened. “I had thought that if you married me, you wouldn’t have to work at the harness shop anymore.”

“But I love working here,” she said, making a sweeping gesture of the room with her hand.

“I’m sure you do, but the kind of work you do isn’t easy— not even for most men.”

“It may not be easy, but it’s what I want to do.” She moved over to a nearby workbench and touched the piece of leather lying there. “This shop was David’s, and he loved what he did.” She paused and moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. “If I can manage to keep the shop going, sometime it’ll hopefully be Aaron’s.”

“I understand that, but I have one other concern.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m afraid if you marry Paul, you’ll lose the shop to him, and—”

Barbara’s mouth dropped open as she held up one hand. “Where did you ever get the idea that I might marry Paul?”

“I’ve seen the syrupy way he looks at you and butters up to
your boys.” John grunted. “It’s more than obvious to me that he’s been after you so he can get his hands on your harness shop.”

Barbara gasped. “Is that what you really think?”

He nodded. “Paul would have liked to have opened a harness shop here in Webster County some years ago, but he couldn’t do it because you and David had already opened up one.”

“That’s true, but Paul moved to Pennsylvania to work in his cousin’s harness shop. As far as I know, he’s been happy working there.”

John shifted his weight again. “Well, none of this is a problem now, because I spoke with Paul’s daed. He’s going to hire someone to take his place in the fields so Paul can go back to Pennsylvania where he belongs.”

Barbara’s heart sank. If Paul planned to leave, he obviously didn’t have any feelings for her. It had just been wishful thinking on her part. All his friendliness to the boys must have just been an act, too.
Can what the bishop said about Paul be true?
she wondered.
Does Paul wish this shop could be his? Is it possible that he’s acted like he cares for me and the boys in order to get his hands on my harness business?

“What does all this have to do with you asking Margaret to marry you?” she asked, looking up at the bishop.

“After spending quite a bit of time with her since Dan died, I’ve come to realize that I love her and would like to make her my wife.” He paused and swiped at the sweat rolling down his forehead. “I’m just waiting for the right time to ask Margaret to be my wife, but I didn’t want to speak of marriage to her until I knew if you were okay with the idea and didn’t need me to marry you.”

Barbara’s spine went rigid. “I don’t
need
anyone to marry me. I’m doing fine on my own.”

He blanched. “I—I didn’t mean for it to sound as if. . .”

Her face softened as she realized she was being overly harsh. A short time ago, she had actually been considering his proposal. “I have no objections to your marrying Margaret. In fact, I wish you both well.”