On Jason's Watch [Paladin Protection Agency 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) (11 page)

“Jazz?” he called out to her as he sat back down on the edge of the bed. “Tell me you’re okay, sweetheart.”

Something moved in the bathroom, and he heard a strange clicking noise. It took him a moment to realize it was the sound of nails hitting the tiled floor. Then she was standing in the doorway, and Jase had to fight the instinct to retreat. There was a wolf in his house. She took a tentative step into the bedroom, watching him intently. The wolf had her eyes, golden and full of doubts. Once he recognized her within the wolf, he knew what he had to do.

He moved off the bed and crouched down beside it, never taking his eyes off of her. “Come here. I want to see you.”

Her ears flicked forward, and she took a few more steps toward him, her eyes still wary.

“You can still understand me?” he asked, feeling foolish for not clarifying that detail before she’d changed. The wolf nodded her head slightly in affirmation. “Well, good, I’d feel pretty dumb if I were here talking to myself.”

Jazz chuffed softly, and for a moment, he could have sworn she was laughing.

“You’re the prettiest wolf I’ve ever seen.” Her coat was a gleaming sable with traces of gray and white on her ears and muzzle. He estimated she weighed more than she did as a human. Her wolf form was large and well muscled beneath her fur. He held out a hand to her, and she moved closer, ducking her head under his hand.

Without thinking, he scratched her ear as though she were a dog and then froze when he’d realized what he’d done. “Okay, I’ll admit this is a little strange.”

She made the same soft chuffing noise as before, and this time he was certain it was the wolf-version of laughter. She nudged his hand with her muzzle and then licked his fingers, and he knew she was teasing him. “Now you’re just messing with me.”

He caught a warning gleam of mischief in her eyes, and the next thing he knew, he was on his back, staring up at her. She was standing on his shoulders, mouth open in what was an undeniable grin. Before he could move, she lowered her muzzle and licked his face, leaving him laughing and sputtering as he went to wipe his cheek.

“I definitely prefer kissing you as a human, that’s for sure.”

She bounded off of him and yipped once before lying down beside him on the floor.

Curious, Jase rolled onto his side and began to stroke her, enjoying the rich flow of her fur beneath his hands. She never moved, permitting him to explore her new form until his curiosity was satisfied. “This floor is cold, so I’m headed back to bed,” he announced with a final stroke of her velvety ears. “You’re welcome to join me…in either form.”

She lifted her head and whined softly, then headed back to the bathroom.

“I think I’m going to pay for that crack when she can speak again,” he muttered to himself as he stood. He stretched and headed for bed, trying not to think about the low whimpers of discomfort coming from the other room. As he pulled the covers back for her, the noise stopped, and then she was back in the doorway.

“You bet you’re going to pay for that.” She looked drained, and he felt guilty for having asked her to transform for him. She’d had some hellishly bad days, and as he watched her stumble back to the bed, it was clear just what it had cost her to show him her wolf form. He switched off the lamp and drew her into his arms the moment she touched the bed. He could feel her trembling slightly as he snuggled her body tight to his, her back to his chest.

“Are you all right?” He could recall her soft cries of pain, and it bothered him to know he’d been the reason.

“I’m fine, Jase. I’ve gotten used to it.” She went silent, and he waited, knowing there was more she wanted to say. “Are you really okay with all this?”

“I invited you back to bed as a wolf, didn’t I? I figured you’d be warm to cuddle up with. Like my own furry hot water bottle.”

She laughed, and he knew it was going to be all right.

“I’m a werewolf, not a woobie.”

“What the hell’s a woobie?”

“Woobie. Blankie. You know, something a child sleeps with for security.”

“You could be my woobie.” He brushed back the dark strands of her hair and dropped a featherlight kiss to her cheek.

“You’re impossible.” She tried to hide a yawn and failed.

“And you’re exhausted. Go to sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.

“Like today was a walk in the park. I like the way it ended, though,” she murmured, her voice already softer and heavy with sleep.

“Me, too, sweetheart. Me, too.”

* * * *

Jazz heard a stifled cry and woke up with a jolt. A male voice cried out again, and she felt an arm clamp hard around her waist. Panic shot through her, and she lashed out instinctively, fighting to get free. Flashbacks of the night she was attacked flooded her mind, and she heard herself snarling as the wolf rose to defend itself.

She felt the familiar burning sensation wash over her. Her hands and teeth transforming before she could stop it. She sensed the wolf take over, and then her mouth was full of warm flesh and the coppery taste of blood.
No!

She fought through the bloodlust, trying to regain control of her body. She heard the voice again, and this time she recognized who was speaking. It was Jase. Memories of last night crashed through her brain, and she remembered where she was, and who she was with. She heard the wolf within her howl. But this time it wasn’t with anger, but in remorse. Regret was something she’d never felt from her darker half in all the years they’d been bound together. As suddenly as it had come awake, the beast released her and faded into the recesses of her mind. As the pain receded, so did her claws and teeth. She was herself again.

“Jase, let go of me.” She struggled to breathe against the rib-crushing grip he held her in. His breathing was jagged, and her heightened senses could detect the bitter tang of fear in the air around them.

“Just hang on a little longer. We’ll be safe soon.” His words were hoarse and didn’t make any sense.

“Jase?”

“It’s going to be okay. It’s just a little further. Don’t you die on me.”

Suddenly she understood. He was dreaming. More than that, he was locked into some sort of nightmare. Something so strong that not even her partial transformation had woken him.

“Jason! You have to wake up!” She struggled against his hold again, trying to break free but afraid to use too much of her strength in case she injured him.

“Jazz?” he muttered her name, dazed.

“I bit you. You have to let go of me so I can see how bad it is.”

“Son of a—that smarts. What happened?”

“You were dreaming, and then you grabbed me. My wolf didn’t take it well.”

She sucked in a deep breath as he finally loosened his hold on her and then reached for the light. There was blood on the sheets, but not as much as she’d feared. “I need to see what I did to you.”

“You didn’t do anything to me.” He sat up, his hand already covering the injury. She’d bitten him high on his upper arm, the only part of him she had been able to reach when he had grabbed her. “This was my own fault. I should have thought…” He looked at her, and she could see the shame in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Jazz. I usually sleep alone so this doesn’t happen.”

“What doesn’t happen?” she asked as she gently eased his hand away from the bite. She’d broken the skin, but it wasn’t deep. She laid her own hand over it and applied firm pressure to stop what little bleeding there was.

“I get flashbacks sometimes. Like nightmares on steroids. I get so wrapped up I don’t realize what I’m doing.”

She felt her heart break a little at the look of shame on his face. “What are you remembering?”

“Lots of things, failed missions and lost friends. I was dreaming about the day my buddy died. I tried to save him, but I was too slow. He died in my arms just before I got him back to camp.”

“I’m sorry.” She curled herself into his arms and laid her head on his chest, her hand still sealed over his injury.

“Some of the things I saw over there, I wish I could forget. But I can’t.”

“I think I understand. I sometimes dream I’m the hybrid. I’m hurting people, people I care about. But I can’t stop it from happening. I’m sorry I hurt you. I told you this wasn’t a good idea.”

“That’s a scratch, and I don’t care if you bite me every damned night. It’s a small price to pay for having you here with me. I’m just sorry I didn’t think about the dreams. I’d have at least warned you.”

“So we’re both sorry.” She couldn’t help but laugh a little. “So was the wolf.”

“What do you mean?”

“When it—we realized what had happened, it stopped. I didn’t have to fight for control. It let me have it. That’s never happened before. It’s always been a struggle. And as it faded, I was sure it seemed to be sorry for what we’d done.”

“Your wolf likes me, too?” He waggled his brows and leered at her, laughing. “So does that make us a threesome?”

“I cannot believe you said that!” She tossed one of the pillows at his head. “No, we’re not a threesome, you pervert.”

“Only with you.” He hauled her into his lap and kissed her, completely ignoring his injured arm. “You’re a terrible influence on this simple army boy.”

“Nothing about you is simple. Now are you going to let me treat this, or are you going to try to pretend you’re fine?”

“I
am
fine,” he grumbled. “But since I doubt you’re going to stop worrying until you’ve gotten to play nurse, there’s a first-aid kit under the bathroom sink. But if you’re going to do that, you have to promise to kiss it better.”

“You are utterly hopeless.” She kissed him quickly and scampered out of his lap before he could kiss her back and distract her from her mission. She really needed to take a good look at that bite. She’d only bitten someone once before, and the memory of Jase’s blood in her mouth made her stomach roil.
At least it isn’t serious enough I need to worry about lycanthropic infection. He’d have to be near death for that to happen.

By the time she returned to the bedroom, he had stripped the duvet off the bed and tossed it into the corner. He’d replaced it with a heavy, hand-woven blanket, leaving her side turned down for her. She got herself and the kit settled on the bed and gestured for him to give her his arm.

“You know, I think this is the first time I’ve ever had a naked nurse. I could get used to this.” He winked at her as she cleaned the blood away from the wound, and she did her best not to blush.

“Dream on, lover boy.” She rolled her eyes at him, well aware he was teasing her. “I don’t see Sinjin or Mr. Remington being the type to support that sort of thing. Hooters, the hospital ward!”

“A man can dream.” He watched her as she gently checked him over. The bite wasn’t deep, but the skin was already darkening. By morning he’d have a bruise to go with the teeth marks. Another wave of guilt crashed through her as she looked at what she’d done to him. Just as she was about to apologize again, he cut her off.

“You said before you would show me your wolf form if I answered your question. What was it you wanted to know?”

She went still, surprised that he’d remembered. “I wanted to know why.”

“Why? Why what?” His tone was light, but his expression was more serious than she had seen before.

“Why you do it? Why do you risk your life to protect other people?” She gestured to the two of them on his bed. “Why me?”

“That’s two questions,” he pointed out as he reached up to stroke her cheek. “Which one do you want me to answer?”

“The first one. The second one really isn’t that important.”

“I think you’re wrong about that.” His thumb brushed over her lower lip, sending a delicious shiver through her body. “But it’s your question. I work with Paladin because I need to.”

“That doesn’t really make sense. You’re smart, clearly capable. You could be doing a dozen different careers.”

“It’s not about money. It’s not even about a career path, really. It’s what I need to be doing. It’s about redemption.”

“I don’t understand.” Jazz knew somewhere along the way this conversation had turned into something much more important than she’d intended. It was a glimpse into the man beneath the
armor.

“I’ve seen and done things, things I’m not proud of. Paladin is a chance for me to balance the scales.”