On Paper (46 page)

He scribbled something quickly and then handed me the book.

"Thank you. For the book." My voice was soft, barely a whisper. His hand moved and grabbed mine, his fingers gripping mine.

"Keaton, we have to keep the line moving," a voice said from somewhere. I gave him a smile and pulled my hand away slowly, the loss of contact leaving me feeling empty.

"I just need a minute," he told the man, his voice stern, demanding.

"It’s fine, you have people waiting. It was good to see you," I managed.

"Don't go yet," he said, his voice on the verge of pleading.

I glanced back at the waiting crowd and the impatient man at his right. "It's fine. Finish your signing. I'll see you," I said softly.

I began to walk away.

"Quinn!" he called out.

I turned and looked back. He was standing there like he was ready to jump over the table. The two guys beside him looked like they were ready to tackle him if he decided to do just that. I gave him a quick shake of my head as if to tell him to stay and finish what he had to do. I could talk to him later. Or not. Right now I needed to get some air.

I walked down the long aisles of the signing room, weaving back and forth among the people, Keaton's book pressed against my chest as I went. I could still feel the warmth where his fingers had been. I knew it was my imagination, but it felt real. It felt real when nothing else around me did. I finally made it to the elevator where a handful of people stood waiting. I looked up, watching the numbers tick as the car moved through the floors. If it didn't get here fast enough I might turn back around. I wanted to open the book. I wanted to read the words that he had scribbled. But I needed to wait. No matter what they said they would affect me. It had been fast and knowing he had probably only put his name made my chest constrict. I don't know why. He'd written me an entire book and I was going to let an inscription be the thing that took that away?

The doors to the elevator opened and a group of people got off. I followed two other girls into the car, happy when they took the sides so I could lean back against the wall. Against my better judgment I opened the cover, my patience non existent. There on the title page were two words, written in his familiar script. My mouth fell open, my entire body trembling. I barely heard the commotion as a voice called out to hold the doors. I looked up and there he was, standing with his arms out to the sides, holding the doors open.

The book fell to the ground and I stared at him in disbelief, the words from the page echoing in my head.

Marry me.

That's all he'd written. In sharp black marker.

"I know it’s a little dramatic,” he smiled. “I just need you to know how serious I am. It doesn't have to be today. You don't even have to say yes. But it was the best way for me to tell you that I'm in this. This is where it begins," he said, his eyes focused on mine, filled with fire and determination. The girls on the elevator with me gasped in surprise. I was barely aware of the small crowd that was now behind him, watching us. He took a step forward and the doors finally closed behind him. He closed the space between us, kneeling down to pick up the book. When he was back on his feet he pressed against me, his hand on my cheek.

"I love you, Quinn. I’ve loved you all along. I stumbled and I screwed up a lot. But you are all I have ever wanted. You are everything I need in this world. The only thing I need. I want it all. I want dancing in the kitchen and rainy day movie marathons. I want hard days and easy days and I want to fight to make it better. I want be everything you need and everything you deserve. I want forever, Quinn, and I want it with you," he said softly. I barely noticed when the tears slid down my cheeks.

“Just like that?” I asked quietly.

He shrugged, “It took a lot for me to get here. There’s nowhere else I want to be.”

I took a moment to take it all in, the fact that he was standing here, his hand on my face, his breath on my cheek, handing me back the life I’d had to give up. Once again, he was asking me to jump.

"Okay," I whispered. His familiar smirk overtook his face.

"Okay?" he asked.

I nodded.

“Just like that?”

I shrugged and smiled, “I waited a long time for you to get here.”

He smiled that smirky, boyish grin that I loved so much. “Okay then."

And then he kissed me and everything in me knew it was the first kiss of my forever.

IT TOOK A
week for me to fall in love with Quinn Ryan. Unfortunately, it took a hell of a lot longer for me to finally admit it. I put us both through hell on the way and it was a long fight to get us to where we are today, but we’re stronger for it. In fact, I’m not sure our foundation would be as solid as it is if we hadn’t gone through the things that we did.

Ours has been a journey of both getting lost and being found. It’s been a journey of surrender and sacrifice, and of faith and reason. Honestly, I think it’s our differences that make us fit so perfectly. Her logic tames me when I need calm; my spontaneity makes her jump before she can ask too many questions. We work, in some crazy, illogical, perfect way.

It’s been a year since she agreed to give me a second chance. A chance I didn’t deserve, but one I thank her for every single day. Because it brought me back to life. I’ve spent every day since then trying to earn that chance, to earn another tomorrow.

We’ve added a lot of adventures to our story this year. I took her to Ireland and we got lost in the villages, spending hours with the locals until we found our way back to the hotel. The blush on her cheeks and the exhilaration in her eyes that day had made it the best trip of my life.

Three months ago she moved in with me and rearranged my life again. There are to do lists on the fridge, real food in the pantry and my new favorite place to write is lying in bed with her curled up beside me as she reads somebody else’s book. She even convinced me to get a cat. We named her Daisy.

But I’m pretty sure my favorite adventure is the one we’re going to add this weekend. At least that is my hope. I’ve brought her back to Seattle. I think she thought I was crazy to suggest it. It’s the first time we’ve been here since the day she walked out on me over a year ago. Since the day I pushed her away. That day changed everything. It was probably the worst day of my life.

I wanted a do-over.

I wanted to make happy memories here. I wanted to replace the bad with good.

It’s why I had chosen this place to ask her to marry me.

For real this time.

Not that I didn’t mean it when I scribbled the words down in the book. I’d have taken her ass down to the courthouse that very day if she’d let me. But we’d had a lot to work through first. And really, I’d just needed her to know that I was in it for the long haul. I had needed her to know that she was it for me.

This time I wanted to do it right, I wanted to ask her for forever. I wanted to say all the right words and give her the moment she deserved. The ring was burning a hole in my pocket. I’d been carrying it around with me since we got here two days ago, looking for the perfect moment. This is why people made plans. Quinn would have had a perfect plan instead of trying to wing it. But I was a romance writer for fuck’s sake; I should be able to capture a moment.

“Babe, are you okay? You look distracted,” Quinn said, sipping her wine. We sat at a secluded table, at a trendy sidewalk bistro having just finished a fabulous dinner. I was indeed distracted. The woman was stunning. Her blush colored dress matched the color in her cheeks and I wondered if I should have stopped her after her second glass of wine. If I proposed now would she even remember it?

“I was just admiring the view,” I smiled.

“You talk like that to all of the girls,” she teased as she reached out to take my hand across the table.

“Yeah, but with you I mean it,” I said. She laughed and the sound warmed me from the inside out. The idea that I could spend the rest of my life with this beautiful woman at my side left me awestruck.

“Thank you for bringing me here. I’ve had the best time. But then, everywhere I am with you is perfect,” she said.

I lifted her hand and kissed her palm, “You make me happier than I could have ever imagined, Quinn,” I said softly. I felt my heart speed up like my cue had just been called. She smiled the shy smile she got whenever I got sappy. I slid my fingers through hers, taking a deep breath as I found my words. I opened my mouth and was jarred at the sound of clapping and clanging metal. I turned in my seat to see a crowd of about twelve wait staff crowding around a table singing some version of happy birthday. I swear someone was actually playing the cowbell. My proposal had just been interrupted by cowbell. I let out a frustrated sigh and sat back in my seat feeling defeated. Until Quinn started to giggle.

“You think this is funny?” I asked.

“It’s a little funny. This place is so fancy and they are singing happy birthday like we are at the mall,” she said. I couldn’t help but smile at the humor that lit her eyes.

“Let’s get out of here. I just want to take you back to the room,” I said. That ceased her giggle and lit a different spark in her eye. God, I loved the way just a suggestive promise could have her looking at me like she wanted to find a back room instead of waiting for the hotel. I shifted in my seat, my dick hard at the thought.

We walked back the two blocks back to the hotel, my hands on her back, drifting suggestively down to her ass. I couldn’t wait to get her upstairs. The way she was looking at me had me hard as steel and I was needy as fuck.

We stumbled into the room, lips joined, limbs tangled. I could taste the wine on her tongue as she pulled me to her, begging for more with her kiss. I kicked the door shut and slid the sweater off her shoulders so I could run my fingers across her soft skin. Her gaze met mine and it stole my breath. My heart slammed against my chest and the words I’d been holding back all weekend ached to be said. I needed her. I wanted her, but I couldn’t wait another moment. I couldn’t wait for planned perfection. This was our perfection.
I didn’t need anything but us and the truth.

My hands rested on her shoulders, my eyes locked on hers, our breath ragged and needy. We were frozen in a single moment. Our moment. The one that was going to change everything. I saw the instant she saw it in my eyes.

“Quinn,” I said softly, my voice serious and low. I had her attention. “I love you. Beyond words, beyond measure. I may never be the perfect man. But I promise to love you more than anyone. I was meant to find you. You are my heart. I am so completely in love with you and I will spend the rest of my life trying to deserve you. I want to marry you, Quinn Ryan. I want forever. I want a family. I want to give you my name.” I watched as her eyes turned glassy as I released my grip and pulled the ring from my pocket. Her eyes never left mine. She didn’t care about the ring at all, for her it was all about the question, always the questions.

“Will you marry me? Please say yes.” I held my breath. Her smile was instant and wide as she flung herself into my arms, her mouth on mine in a hungry kiss. I wrapped my arms around her, lifting her feet off the ground.

“Yes!” she managed between kisses. The sweetest word I’d ever heard. I kissed her deeper, needing to seal our new bond somehow. I finally put her back on the ground and took the ring from my pinky and slid it onto her left ring finger. She finally took a moment to look down at the cushion cut diamond set on a band of platinum. I took pleasure in the way her eyes went round and her mouth fell open. I’d looked a long time for the perfect ring and I’d wanted to get it right.

“It’s stunning,” she said, her voice barely audible.

I pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms tight around her waist. “You’re going to be my wife,” I said letting the words wrap around my heart. She smiled as she slid her arms under my shirt.

“I love the way that sounds,” she said.

“It’s fucking sexy as shit,” I agreed.

“You and me forever,” she said looking up at me with a dreamy look. She was so beautiful. I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of the night celebrating with her wearing nothing but that brand new ring.

“You have no idea what you’ve just agreed to.” I teased. I hadn’t felt this light and carefree in forever.

She laughed and brushed the hair back from my eyes, “I figure I’ll just wing it.”