On the Line (17 page)

No.
The ball was now in his court, and she wanted more than a piece of paper. Janelle
decided she needed to focus on her family. Zach and Zoe needed her full attention,
and she was determined to give it to them. Nathan knew where to find her. When the
investigations were over, or on the off chance he decided to risk it, he could come
to her. She was done.

“We’ll see,” Janelle muttered.

Patrick groaned and, out of the corner of her eye, Janelle caught the droop in Kelsey’s
shoulders. She rose and, leaving the letter where it lay, took her glass to the sink
then avoided making eye contact as she walked into the living room, sat down in the
armchair, and turned the TV on.

Eleven

“Happy Birthday, Zach. I have to go now,” Zach said in a high-pitched voice as he
played with the puppets. He was currently holding the Kelsey puppet in one hand and
the Zach puppet in the other. He made the Kelsey puppet walk away and put it behind
his back.

“Good, Zach.” Andrew sat on the floor beside his leather chair. Zach played in the
middle of the floor at the end of the white sofa farthest from Andrew. Janelle sat
on the end of the sofa closer to the brown leather chair and watched silently. “Now,
do you have another good memory that you’d like to share with me?”

Zach lined all of the puppets on the floor in front of him and stared at them. Slowly
he picked a few of them up and set them in his lap. He picked them up one by one
and made them act out a scene from their last Christmas. She saw the only puppet
left on the floor was Richard’s, then watched, slightly horrified, as Zach reenacted
their meal in complete silence then made Kelsey and Patrick’s puppets apologize and
leave. Things only got worse as she watched him share the argument she and Mary had
had about Nathan’s presence.

“He’s not your husband, he shouldn’t be here,” Mary’s puppet said.

“But Mom—” Janelle’s puppet had started.

“No buts. Richard should be here. You should be ashamed of yourself. What kind of
message are you trying to send your kids?” Mary’s puppet said then Janelle’s puppet
threw up her hands and walked away.

“I think we should go now,” George’s puppet said and they left.

Janelle covered her burning cheeks with her hands, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted
to laugh or cry. It was now clear that Zach saw a lot more than she thought he did,
and she’d have to do a better job of keeping Mary and
her complaints away from Zach
from now on. Janelle peeked through her fingers at Andrew as he wrote a few things
on the notepad beside him.

“Very good, Zach,” he said calmly.

Very good?
Janelle questioned in her mind. As far as she was concerned, there was
nothing very good about that scene.

“Is there anything else?” Andrew asked when he was finished making notes.

Zach nodded and picked up two puppets. Janelle recognized them as Kelsey’s and his.
“Can you come home and take us trick-or-treating?” the Zach puppet said.

“No, sweetie, I’m sorry. My job is very important and I can’t leave it,” the Kelsey
puppet said, and Janelle felt her eyes burn with tears. She was pretty sure this
conversation had never actually happened.

“But I miss you,” Zach’s puppet said.

“Aw, that’s sweet, but I have to go back to work now.” He made the Kelsey puppet
disappear behind his back.

“But Zach,” Janelle said, and Andrew immediately held up his hand to silence her.

“Let him act it out. True or not, it will help me help him.” Andrew made more notes
on his pad of paper. “Zach, is there anything else?”

Janelle looked at her son’s face as he chewed on his bottom lip—a lot like Kelsey
did when she was thinking or upset—and stared at the puppets. She was surprised when
he picked up the puppet representing himself along with Mary and Richard’s puppets.

“Zach,” Mary’s puppet started, “don’t you love your father? Wouldn’t you like to
spend more time with him, just the two of you?”

“I don’t know, Grandma,” his puppet said. “Mommy says we’re not supposed to be alone
with him.”

“Your mommy doesn’t know what’s good for her,” Zach said, mimicking Richard’s growl
with frightening accuracy. “You will spend time with me, and there’s nothing your
mommy or your auntie can do about it.”

“That’s right,” Mary’s puppet said, and Zach made her puppet and Richard’s puppet
touch hands. “Just you and your daddy.”

The three puppets walked away together and Janelle sat dumbfounded.
What had she
just watched? Something wasn’t right, and it left her with an uneasy, prickly feeling
in her chest.

“Zach, when did that event happen?” Andrew asked, curiously staring at Zach.

Janelle saw him shrug as he bowed his head to hide his face. “The day before he came
to get me.”

Her heart sank.

“Did your grandma give your dad something? Is that why the puppets touched hands?”
Andrew asked the question Janelle had been hoping to hear, but her heart sank even
lower when Zach’s head bobbed slightly. “Do you know what it was?”

Zach shook his head. “It’s a secret.”

Andrew looked at him for another moment before he rose to his feet and sat in the
leather chair. “Zach, could you please pick all of your puppets up and put them in
your special tub then you can go play with whatever you’d like while I talk to your
mom.”

Janelle watched her usually exuberant child slowly go through the motions of cleaning
up and putting away, then drag his feet to the bookshelf full of baskets. She turned
her attention to the windows on the opposite wall, to the bright-blue, cloudless
sky outside, and wished her mood matched. It had been two weeks since the kidnapping
and shooting, and she was beginning to feel like she’d never feel happy again. It
was exhausting.

“Janelle,” Andrew said, drawing her attention to him. He smiled softly before continuing,
“Did you recognize those events that he acted out?”

“Two of them, yes,” she answered. “But they didn’t happen exactly like that.”

“I’m sure you don’t remember them that way, but this is about his perception of the
reality. Can you tell me what was off ?” Andrew picked his pad of paper and pencil
off of the floor and placed it in his lap, prepared to make note of what Janelle
might say.

“Well, for one, Kelsey didn’t immediately leave the birthday party. She stayed home
for two more days or so before she had to leave for filming.”

Andrew nodded, but didn’t write anything down.

“Second, Christmas wasn’t exactly like that. Patrick wasn’t there, and Kelsey stayed
for another month after before she went back to California,”
Janelle said, feeling
the strong need to defend her sister’s actions. “The conversation about Halloween
never happened. Yes, he told her about the jack-o’-lanterns they’d carved with my
father, but he never asked her to come home. We didn’t even talk to her before Halloween
because she was working.”

“None of that is surprising,” Andrew stated. “His perception, real or not, is that
Kelsey always leaves. Has she ever blown him off like he portrayed her doing?”

“No,” Janelle gasped. “She would never do that. And if she hadn’t been working, she
would have most likely come home right away. She loves spending time with him.”

“I would imagine the tail end of that imagined conversation was his father’s influence
showing itself.” Andrew wrote on his notepad. “What can you tell me about that last
scene he acted out?”

“Nothing,” Janelle said. “I never saw that conversation take place. What do you think
it means?”

“It’s hard to say.” Andrew shook his head and turned to look at Zach. He was playing
with the basket of toy cars, rolling them along the floor, up the wall, and across
the shelves of the bookcase. Andrew looked at Janelle again, a soft, strained smile
on his face. “It could be a figment of his imagination, or it could be a conversation
that actually took place. What was your mother’s relationship with your husband like?”

Janelle rolled her eyes, not at his question but at the memory of Mary and Richard’s
relationship. “She adored him. She always took his side against me or Kelsey, and
Richard could do no wrong in her eyes.” Janelle glanced at her son. “Sadly, Zach’s
portrayal at the Christmas meal was pretty accurate. Mom was always trying to get
me to forgive Richard and take him back.” Janelle slowly took in and released a deep
breath. “So infuriating,” she muttered to herself.

“That’s very curious,” Andrew stated. Janelle noticed that he was furiously scrawling
on his notepad. “Would you care to tell me more about her?”

Janelle opened her mouth to do what he’d asked, but stopped herself short. “Why is
that important to Zach’s therapy? We’re here to help him, not dissect the dysfunction
in the rest of our family.”

Andrew looked at her and smiled. “Trust me when I tell you that
understanding the
dynamics of those around him will help me treat him. I’ll get to the other members
of your family later, but since his last reenactment was of a scene that showed his
grandmother and his father seeming to be conspiring, I’d like to focus on that today.”

Janelle squirmed slightly in her seat. “You’re a child therapist. You should just
focus on his thoughts and feelings. The rest of us can handle ourselves,” she said
defensively.

Andrew reached across the divide and took her hand in his. “I’m also a family therapist,
and in this case, I think you all need help if Zach is going to get better.”

Janelle remained silent, eyeing him warily. He released her hand as he sat back and
let her assess him.

“How does Zach feel about his grandmother?” Andrew asked.

After a moment’s hesitation, Janelle answered, “He loves her, I guess. She’s always
sweet and kind to him, even if she turns right around and acts exactly opposite that
with Kelsey and me.”

“So how do you feel about her?”

Janelle looked at the floor beside her feet. “We don’t always see eye to eye,” she
answered quietly. “And by that I mean never.”

“Why?” Andrew asked.

Janelle shrugged. “She had a rough childhood and grew up thinking things should be
a certain way. My sister and I happen to disagree with her way of thinking and do
things our own way instead.”

“What kind of things?” Andrew continued to prod.

“Mostly how women should act toward men,” Janelle said, glaring at him. “Look, I
don’t see how this matters. If we’re not going to talk about Zach, then I guess we’re
done here.”

Andrew pressed his lips together, and Janelle could tell he was becoming frustrated
with her. She looked away and pressed her back into the sofa cushion. He slowly relaxed
and sat forward again.

“I understand this is probably uncomfortable and a little personal. But your mother
is a part of your life, a part of your child’s life, and I get the impression her
influence into your behavior is farther reaching than you may realize,” he said soothingly.
“I think we should explore the impact of those relationships on Zach.”

Janelle could suddenly see what Andrew meant. Hadn’t she just fidgeted at the mere
thought of irritating him? There were times she thought she was past her mother’s
early influence, but then there were others, like now, when the behavior was just
second nature. She wasn’t sure she liked that.

“Where would you like me to begin?”

Janelle stood on the porch and watched Patrick load his suitcase into her father’s
Cadillac. After the trunk was closed, Patrick cast a glance to the side of the porch,
where Kelsey sat on the swing. Janelle looked at her sister as well and saw she was
gazing off into the distance, not even watching what was going on in her driveway.
Her cheeks were dry, but Janelle could tell she’d been crying recently, and the look
on her face said she was trying not to do it again.

Janelle turned to see Patrick step onto the porch. She held out her arms to give
him a brief hug. “See you soon,” she said as she placed her hands on his upper arms
and studied his face. Her voice held a bit of a question, and she hoped he understood
her need for reassurance. Janelle didn’t think she could handle one more thing going
badly right now. Patrick not returning would be bad for almost all of them.

“As soon as possible,” he replied with a nod. “They have me scheduled for eight weeks.
I’m hoping to talk them down to six, at most. But don’t tell her that, I don’t want
to get her hopes up.” He glanced in Kelsey’s direction again, and sadness filled
his eyes. “I wish she’d come with me,” he muttered. Janelle wasn’t sure he’d meant
for her to hear that.

“I’ll do what I can to keep her occupied.” Janelle dropped her hands and took a step
back.

Patrick suddenly turned to her, and his gaze sharpened on her face. “Please, do me
a favor and try to keep your mother away.”

“You know I can try,” Janelle reassured him. “Neither of us wants to see her right
now, but she is Zach and Zoe’s grandmother, so there’s only so much we can do.”