“Are you with me, Braunwyn?” I meet her eyes, my own watering at how much I feel for this woman.
“Arrows, Levi.” She covers her mouth in awe, and I see a huge smile begin to spill across her face.
“I figured you have to pull back to move forward, right? So this is me propelling us even further. I saw this ring and I knew it had to be my wife’s. What do you say, Scrappy?”
Her hands shake as she covers her mouth, taking me in at this moment. My heart is hammering in my chest with nerves and I pray she says yes.
“Always. I say:
always
. Yes, Levi. I’ll marry you. I love you with all of me. Always.”
“Thank fuck. I was starting to think I picked a bad time.”
I slip the ring on her trembling finger.
“Naw, I’m sure people will love to hear the story of how we got engaged,” she laughs, and peppers my face with kisses. “With whipped cream, a virgin countertop and dirty sex on the floor, I think it’s the best engagement story ever,” she teases.
“You’re such a brat, Scrappy. You know that, eh?” I take her nipples into my fingers and roll them as I take her sassy mouth in mine.
“Thank fuck for calling trump.” I smile against her lips as she kisses me back. “Best game I ever played, Braun. Best game ever,” I whisper, meaning every single word.
Levi
“D
addy, Daddy!” I
hear Scooby call as she runs in the front door.
Hearing her call me “daddy” never gets old. I couldn’t tell you when it started but I will say neither Braun nor I corrected her. I’ve always felt like I was her dad, especially once I found out Shawn wasn’t around. The role came naturally, but when Braun and I got married a few months ago, I adopted Emme, making her officially mine.
Once we found out that Braun was pregnant, we decided we wanted to be married before we welcomed our child into the world. We both wanted a short engagement anyway, so it was perfect. We had a quiet ceremony at Pub Fiction with our close friends and family, along with a catered reception where we served the best food in town. Well, according to Braunwyn, anyway. Sal served up her famous cheeseburgers, a food Braun has come to crave at all hours of the day and night. Thank God Sal loves me, ’cause after the second trimester it was clear that the burger cravings were here to stay. To say I was more than grateful one afternoon when she popped by Pub Fiction with a bag full of frozen patties would be an understatement. The woman is a saint.
As for Scooby, she knows I’m not her biological father, but to her I’m the only one she’s known. She and Braunwyn started having little discussions here and there over the last few months, then one day Emmerson finally asked where her “real” daddy was.
Since then, we’ve put an array of pictures of Shawn around her room and we talk about him openly as a family whenever she brings him up. Emmerson isn’t aware of the circumstances around his death, not yet. Braun, however, has every intention of having that conversation when the time is right. We both feel it’s important for Emmerson to know the truth.
“Daddy, where are you?” I hear her call, louder this time, shaking me from my head.
Getting up, I find her in the hall closet lugging Braunwyn’s suitcase out. I rush over to help her. “Hey Scooby, what are you doing? Where’s Mommy?” I peek out the door, and see London ready to walk in.
“Hey, party people. We all set? Come, on, come on, you two. Chop chop. We haven’t got all day.”
“London, hey. What are you doing here? Where’s Braun?” I ask, feeling confused, like I’m missing something. “I didn’t realize you were coming over.” I look out behind her, still not sure what’s going on.
“Daddy, we have to go. Mommy leaked out water all over the car. She needs to go to the hospital,” Emmerson says, pulling at my pant leg and drawing my attention back down to her. “We just stopped to pick up Grams and London. Mommy says hurry up.”
“What? Her water broke?” I look to London for confirmation. I mean, we’re a few weeks early, and they say you can go early with your second, but there’ve been no signs.
“Yeah, get ready, Boss Man. It’s baby time.” London smiles patting my shoulder.
Shit. Okay.
“Wow, okay. Baby time. Shit. Okay, I’m ready. Shit. Aw,
shit
—sorry, kid. Potty mouth.” I look to Emme, rubbing my hands through my short hair.
“It’s okay, Daddy. I get it. The baby is coming. You’re scared,” Emerson says as I grab my wallet and cell phone and slip on my runners.
“Yeah. I guess I am, Scooby.”
“Well, don’t be,” she says, holding the door as I lock up, holding the suitcase between my knees, thankful when London grabs it as we make our way to the car. “You’re the best dad. The baby is gonna love you, just like I do,” she beams, and I swear my heart almost leaps out of my chest. I scoop her up and follow London, running down the driveway.
“You make it so easy to be a good dad, kiddo. I love you so much.” I kiss her cheek.
Opening the door, I feel like Norm from that TV show, “Cheers”, as I’m greeted with a round of “Levi’s” from Grams and Braun.
“We managed to move her to the back seat. I told her she shouldn’t be driving, but she wouldn’t let me near the steering wheel,” Grams says, waving her hands in the air. “I grabbed some towels when she picked us up for the seat, thought it might help. Hurry in, love, we’ve got to get going.”
I kiss my girl Braun as I strap Scooby into her booster seat. “I can’t believe you picked up Grams and London before coming home, Scrappy,” I tease, before laying down a thick wad of Grams’ towels and taking my place behind the wheel.
Fuck, I’m gonna be a dad…again.
Braunwyn
Levi whips the
door open and leans in, laying one heck of a kiss on me.
“Ready, baby? We’re going to have a baby,” I say happily, but a stab of pain ruins the sweetness of the moment.
“Shit, baby. Hang tight, we need to get outta here.” He drops another kiss on my forehead before settling in the driver’s seat.
“Yeah. They’re really picking up.” I wince.
“I can’t believe you picked up Grams and London before coming home, Scrappy.”
I laugh. “Well, I needed all my humans with me. I can’t do this without them. Your mom, Ryker, Kat, and Lewis are meeting us there too,” I add, feeling proud.
“Huh, look at you all on top of this. And here I thought I was going to be the organized one. Thanks for calling them, baby.” He looks at me in the rear view mirror, giving me the panty-soaker smile.
Not now, buddy, not now
. I brace myself against the door handle as a huge contraction washes over my body.
“Hold my hand, Hooker. I’ll take your abuse.” London places her hand in mine for support, smiling. I give it a crushing squeeze. Looking around at everyone, I never thought that I would be part of such a big family where there is so much love and support. But here they are. “Oh, shit, woman. You
are
in pain.” London jokes, in response to my harsh grip.
“Drive fast, Levi. They’re coming closer and closer,” I say.
“You got it, Scrappy. I’ll have us there in no time.”
“Cool it a little, leadfoot. Try and stay on the road. We need to get there in one piece,” says Grams sternly.
*
Once at the
hospital, it’s as though everything happens in fast forward and then it doesn’t. It practically stops.
The contractions started coming hard and fast but there was an emergency somewhere else in the hospital, leaving me to wait a long time for the anesthesiologist to come give me the much-coveted epidural. By nightfall, we’d sent Emmerson home with London and Grams, promising to call no matter what time. Lewis agreed to bring them all back when the time came so I insisted they not wait around, especially at this rate. Grams was right, as always. Levi really didn’t need to be such a speed demon getting me here.
“Why don’t you try walking the halls, Mrs. Eddison? Sometimes that helps.” Nurse Leanne looks between Levi and myself after telling us that I’m only five centimetres dilated. “It looks like you’ve got a strong lad here to help support you, if needed.”
“Yeah, okay. Maybe stretching will help coax the baby to want to come out.” I laugh, trying to lighten my own mood.
“You sure about this, Scrappy?” Levi asks, his face concerned. I limp toward the door after both Leanne and Levi helped me move off the bed.
“Positive. I need to move. Your kid is sitting on top of all my insides. I want to jiggle everything around a little bit.”
We begin taking baby steps in the hall.
“It’s crazy how different it is this time. With Emmerson, my water broke and she was here, like, within the hour,” I pout, feeling the onslaught of another doozy.
As my contractions increase in intensity, Levi pulls me into him, securing my arm around his waist as an anchor.
“I gotcha, Scrappy. We got this.”
My anchor.
The thought is fitting. Levi anchors me. Not only does he keep me tethered, he brings me back to what’s important. He keeps me from drifting away; he steadies me, keeping me focused on the here and the now.
In the end Levi Eddison makes me whole.
He is my salvation…
My restoration.
Levi
We walk the
halls for what feels like forever, our patience wearing thinner each time we pass the nurses’ lounge. Peeking in, we see them sipping coffee, eating, and laughing, sitting around and chatting about it being a slow night, and how they could be out doing this or that rather than working. Braun glances up at me, then back past the lounge doors, a look of defeat paired with a bit of jealousy on her beautiful face. Seeing the lounging nurses more and more as we circle the halls pisses me off, especially when I see the way it’s affecting my Scrappy. I want to scream: “Close the damn door. Have some consideration for these poor women.”
“I’m so hungry,” she groans. With everything happening like it did, Braun hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast. They told her that she couldn’t eat at this point in case she needed a C-section. It’s a precaution. I hate that I can’t give her what she wants right now. Hell, I’d pay Sal to come down and bring my girl a burger if I could.
Knowing Braun’s suffering so much is killing me. I’m supposed to be able to help her. I think about her giving birth to Emme without Shawn there to help her, while she was still grieving, and feel even worse.
After each hallway lap, Braunwyn becomes more emotional. “Why isn’t it time yet? How much longer? Why doesn’t the baby want to meet us? Emmerson couldn’t wait to get out,” she cries softly, breaking me.
“I know, baby. Hopefully soon.” I kiss the top of her head pulling her closer to me. “Let’s go back to the room now,” I suggest, as we’re having to stop more often, the contractions obviously picking up, causing her pain to the point where her knees buckle and she needs to regroup before walking again.
“That’s a good idea. They’re coming in stronger, maybe the doctor will say it’s time.”
Unfortunately, time starts to blend from night into morning into what feels like evening again. I’m starting to relate to what people describe as “cabin fever”. It’s beginning to feel like our baby will never come to meet us.
A few more hours pass, but finally Braun’s contractions start getting so strong that Nurse Leanne pages the on-call anesthesiologist, stating that Braun will be past the mark if she doesn’t get the epidural soon. I walk over and hug the woman, thanking her.
Soon enough, Braun gets her epidural, but I want to punch the fuck out of the anesthesiologist dude for making Braun feel so much pain as he inserts the needle. Lucky for him, it seems to take effect within minutes, and Braun looks a lot more comfortable.
While she rests, I run and get my twentieth cup of crappy coffee from the machine down the hall. My nerves are getting to me and my pacing is driving Braun crazy. She insists I go for a few minutes.
Re-entering Braun’s room, I feel a rush of panic as I see Leanne springing into action, reacting to an alarm I hear sounding beside Braun.
Fuck, I was only gone a minute. She was sleeping; she made me. Damn it!
My heart begins to jackhammer in my chest as I take in whatever the hell is happening.
“What the hell’s going on?” I ask, and rush toward her bed.
“I don’t know, Levi. Leanne hasn’t said. She was checking my vitals when suddenly that alarm began,” Braun says, tears dancing down her face as she points to the crazy-looking machine beside her. I notice it’s got a heart symbol beside the number screen, so I assume it’s got something to do with monitoring the baby’s heart rate.
“I’ll find out what’s going on. Just try and relax.” I kiss her forehead.
“Levi, please be calm. Don’t go all Bossy Man.”
“I would never,” I smile, holding my hand to my chest pretending I’m offended. Braun smiles, and I know she’s okay.
“Let them do their job.”
“Okay, baby. I’ll play nice. Let me go see what’s up.”
Walking over toward Leanne, I overhear her on the phone making a hushed call to who I assume is the obstetrician. The next thing I know, a nurse is rushing in the room and begins hooking Braun up to another type of alarm thingy. I quickly cross the room, hoping we’ll get some answers.